After returning from Camp Everfree, Sunset and her friends are in for yet another surprise when they learn of the human Sunset that is living in their world. Can Sunset learn to deal with the permanent effects she has caused to the human world?
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Ok, Shimmer makes me angry. I always love the twin idea but I never kind of "connected" with her? And this is totally not helping.
I feel that Twilight should have discussed with her anyways, I find it weird that everyone involved simply accepts the idea and lets her be. That 'do you hate me' card ends up being more manipulative than anything else.
Sorry, just... ugh, can't sympathise with her.
Yeah kind of hard to sympathize with Shimmer here, decides Sunset will stay in Equestria, doesn't talk to Sunset's friends about it at all and instead goes off to sleep with her girlfriend. Like I seriously hope Twilight gives her a smack or something.
8770551
Totally intentional my friend!
You're supposed to feel she's being manipulative there. Also while they treat each other like sisters, the reality is they aren't. They both know that they don't belong in the same world and Shimmer is definitely being super selfish.
8770729
Totally the effect I wanted to happen!
dammit how are sunset and twilight supposed to hook up now?!!!!
8770747
Oh, I thought you were going to defend her or something, now I want to scream even more hahaha.
When did Shimmer not acted selfish? Really, each time I like her even less.
Hope someone tells her something, SciTwi and Sunset I can understand, Princess Twilight not so much. But that's about to be seen I guess.
Do I have to say that now I can't wait for the next chapter?
I strongly suspect Shimmer never asked Twilight to close the portal. Because I find it unlikely Twilight would blindly go along with this, especially without Sunset getting a chance to say goodbye to her friends.
I was anticipating the "naughty scene" to be between Sunset and Twilight- didn't care much for Shimmer being selfish AND getting laid in this chapter, honestly.
8771077
Two sides to every story remember. Not to mention realistically remember that Twilight really has no say in the human world. Yes she has a portal, but as a princess I am sure she could be easily swayed by being reminded that they technically shouldn't even be meddling in the human world in the first place.
I mean consider this: If Sunset had not gone there, a girl's parents may still be alive. If anything, I'd say Twilight likely weighed that out. They as ponies technically have no rights or claim to that world, not to mention as pointed out before it's dangerous just for Sunset to live there. She is technically an alien and if anyone found out and told the wrong people things could get bad very quickly.
A pretty compelling argument could be made to Twilight in Shimmer's favor for sure.
Yes Shimmer is definitely being selfish but consider this: up to this point, Sunset has been too. Her coming to the human world in the first place with no regard to consequences lead to a lot of things changing, including Shimmer's parents dying potentially. Had Sunset stayed in her own world, Shimmer's life might have been different. If anything, given what Shimmer has been through, it makes sense that she's a little selfish. She's used to things either being taken from her or people trying to take them from her. She's a very difficult girl to even get to open up as evidenced by Act I and a lot of her past (most of which we have yet to see)
Oh boy is there so much more to Shimmer we aren't even seeing yet too. Wait until you see what she went through before Sunset came into the picture.
We are approaching the final chapters of Act II and I will say this: big stuff is about to happen, super big stuff. Act II's ending will be far crazier than Act I for sure.
I wanted Shimmer to be a character that people felt conflicted over. You liked her at times and other times you were annoyed by how she acted. So it's definitely good to see that it's working since a lot of people pulled the distaste from her decision here.
As for the sex scene that a lot of people are commenting on, at least we can feel happy for Moondancer who is ignorant to most of this stuff. Poor girl deserved to get some a little. ;)
8771684
All well and good, but why didn't we see Shimmer trying to convince Twilight that closing the portal is the best thing in the situation? We as readers have nothing to go on except Shimmer's say so, and I think you've pretty much established that Shimmer's credibility is pretty low right now.
And again, Shimmer just gets to say "Nope, you're staying here. End of story." And Sunset doesn't even make the case that she deserves a couple of hours to say goodbye to her friends in person? The most important people in her life over there? She just accepts it? The girl whose temper gets the better of her every time her friendship with the others is threatened? It doesn't work for me.
And if Shimmer telling everyone "you can hate me" is supposed to make her appear sympathetic, it doesn't. But i'm going to assume that's intentional, given Sunset's own history of manipulating people.
Now, that all said, I have enough faith in you as a writer to trust most of these issues will be addressed down the line. But as far as this chapter goes, there's some glaring holes here, and Shimmer herself is starting to veer into actual Mary Sue territory, by which I mean she's in danger of becoming a character all the canonical characters defer to on everything. She hasn't gone that far yet, because we have yet to see how the other girls are going to react to the news, but it's sending up flags for me. Others may feel differently.
Looking forward to what happens next.
Poor moondancer got used by shimmer
George Takei, I need you!
Jokes aside, yeah, I don't think Shimmer made the right call here. It was more driven by emotion than by what Sunset would want, so, yeah... lets see where this goes.
8772027
We have 3 chapters left in Act II and I assure you a lot of this gets addressed and by the end of that third chapter which ends Act II you'll see why you have nothing to worry about regarding that. Things may get worse before they get better, but if you stick with it through the end of Act II you will see how things are about to change.
We do find out that Sunset kind of was caught off guard by the entire thing and didn't have time to process it until it had already happened. We're going to get her side very soon in the next 3 chapters.
A lot of her talks with Princess Twilight happened off scene, but we will be seeing what actually went down.
8772085
I wouldn't say that. Remember, Moondancer has no stake in any of this. It's none of her business what happens to Sunset, and Moondancer legitimately loves her.
8772659
Oh I don't disagree i think shimmer loves a great deal but she still used her as a emotional scapegoat to make herself feel better as she knows she has destroyed the friendships with the other girls and dancers first time should not of been for shimmers mental health but I'm just looking way to far into this
The change of tone from "I make the executive decisions about your life now" to "sex noises" was a bit extreme for my taste but to each their own. Still looking forward to reading that fallout break lose.
I know this story is years old but I just read it up to this point. Up to this point you have been an amazing author. This chapter you committed one of the biggest mistakes an author can. You took characters out of character to get events you wanted to happen into the story. You wanted your dolls to dance certain steps and disregarded if the characters as set up ever would. Sunset would not just roll over like that and Princess Twilight would never lock Sunset away from her friends with out at least talking to Sunset. The thing is you could have accomplished what you wanted and kept them in character. Show shimmer working her ass off even lying about what is going on in her world to convince Twilight to agree to close the portal then have Twilight and Shimmer work together to convince Sunset it's for the best.