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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Loved it. It does a lot to show how deep his feelings go for both Scootaloo, and Luna. Can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next.
847405
Spoiler Alert: Next chapter has ponies. And the ponies do stuff.
Seriously, I'm glad somepony is appreciating my efforts to develop StarStep's character. If there's any particular moment in the chapters that grab you, please let me know. It's nice to see if y'all get some of the jokes and dramatic moments as intended.
Oh Lighthoof your an average gigolo... nicely done.
847745
The moments like his conversation with Luna in this chapter; those moments really pull me in because that's usually where you really get the best idea as to what the character actually feels. Can't help but sit there with a big goofy smile and that warm fuzzy feeling when they really begin to open up.
I doubt that's very helpful, but I'll try and pay more attention as the story unfolds.
850588
Only when Celestia has too much cake.
Great Lulz at the end! Anyway, great job, as alwais!
Not gonna lie I thought in the beginning that Light Hoof was gonna be annoying, but his character has grown on me. I really do feel for Scootaloo and I hope she can either move on because it doesn't seem like Star has those feelings for her at all. I guess only time will tell.
that last joke was hilarious!
Head so far up Luna's ass you can see the moon.
GENIUS! I'm stealing that
1575646 ts1.mm.bing.net/th?id=I.4517395880739720&pid=15.1&W=160&H=148
“Just how hot was the teacher?”
really?
on the other hand, keep up the good work
Why must they always say Buck?
2010356
Firstly, they are in a different dimension, so they aren't going to have the same swear words.
Secondly, buck is a pony word that also means 'to have sex', just like fuck does with humans.
Lastly, the word 'fuck' wasn't used until 1475AD, so considering ponies to be around 1000-1200AD they wouldn't have it anyway.
This is really good so far.
1575646 24.media.tumblr.com/553497b7a4a4ee295bbc6315be60b879/tumblr_mhrcwmUwo61rhf9tro1_500.gif
sheeoot, this is one of the best clopfic stories ive ever read on fimfiction. Its easy to expect a simple clopfic to be well simple, but its clear u put alot of thought into the characterss\, how they react, the pace, the detail, what can i say im impressed. i should go to bed haha i hope you finish this story, im on chapter 6!
3472902
Glad you're enjoying the story. Don't be afraid to post your thoughts about a chapter. What really grabbed you or you got a good laugh/feels out of.
You have plenty of story to cover to catch up. Have fun.
says chapter 5, is actually chapter 6, unless you are not including 'Mature' chapters, like what DawnFade is doing.
as 'he' jolted to his feet ....also, shouldn't that be 'jolted to his hooves' ???
I think a second And should be there after the comma, depending on how the sentence is worded...I think it just would fit better
'Looked away' forgot the ed <3
made lightly?.....what?......
Also, the paragraphs of star's story seem a bit...'longwinded', but that aside, not a bad chapter.
Lovely story, my second time reading it.
However...
"...and the moon climbed to it's zenith..."
When used as a possessive, "its" doesn't have an apostrophe. Only the contraction of "it is" gets the apostrophe. My apologies if someone already pointed this out. Especially if it was me that pointed it out on my first reading then immediately forgot about doing so. I forget stuff.
I don't mean to be too nit-picky but this just bugged my OCD a bit. I can't expect you to run through and correct every mistake in this profoundly long book, of course.
Anyway, lovely read, great work, best of luck to you in all your future endeavors.
-DavK
The last part just.......Really man?
3822092 what? Some teachers can be hot.
2765230
...
I don't think they're at that age in time... A fair amount later, perhaps?
I think in one of the episodes they had a lamp, with a lightbulb... If that says anything... meh...
Although the guards use ancient weaponry, well, the canon is a peaceful Utopian world.
3912675 I'm pretty sure that they didn't have rock n' roll in 1000-1200 AD.
3822100
Well said. /brohoof
3822100 Amen, brotha. Amen.
Ow! Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher
6554470 I fucking love you right now.
O.k., I lolled at that