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#1 · 128w, 5d ago · · · Chapter III ·

I really like this so far. You've got my fave, I'll be watching for any updates. :pinkiehappy:

#2 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

>>839451

@Hutser Huzzah! My first comment! Glad you're having a good time reading it. I suppose my only wish is whoever clicked down-thumbs would take time to say why.

Anyhoof, steamy pony chapter will be out today, and maybe the following chapter as well.

#3 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

There are several grammatical errors at the end of chapter 2. Mainly, run-on sentences.

#4 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

>>839644

It's like Christmas! :pinkiegasp:

I really don't see why you don't have more comments, this is great so far and really deserves more attention.

#5 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

>>839657

I'll take a look back through N00813. Even proofreading 3-4 times, I'll miss something. So I appreciate anything pointed out I can fix.

>>839668

If you feel that way, please share with friends!

#6 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

>>839774

Chap 2:

StarStep nodded to her final words, a part of him still had feelings for the orange pegasus, what exactly those feelings were, he wasn't sure.

should be

StarStep nodded to her final words. A part of him still had feelings for the orange pegasus; what exactly those feelings were, he wasn't sure.

#7 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

I am loving this so far.  It's so great to read an actual story from an author with talent.

#8 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

>>840053

Thank you Karackas *wing-bow* If you enjoy the story, the best way you can reward me is to show it to your friends. A story isn't a story unless there's someone to read it.

#9 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter III ·

...Aaaand it goes right in my favs! :pinkiehappy:

Sooo having more than one mare is acceptable? I really hope I understood that correctly because after this manly tears will be shed if Scoots doesn't get her chance. :fluttercry: I really liked the character development in this.

>>840701

Yes Hutser. In my vision of their social structure, it's ok to have more than one mate. StarStep's current character issue is that he hasn't figured out how to truly love more than one pony. His tunnel-vision on this obsession with Luna hurts him. No worries, Scoots will return.

That's good to know. I like this social structure better, and I greatly look forward to the next chapter. :moustache:

#13 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter V ·

Best chapter yet. At the end of each chapter my craving for moar increases, especially now that Scoots is involved. I really hate to use the same picture more than once on the same story, but it just seems to fit in perfectly when things are going good. :scootangel:

#14 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter V ·

>>841434

Huzzah indeed! Please spread the love if you're enjoying the story.:pinkiehappy:

My only complaint about FIMFiction is that I'm forced to use the young-scoot character tag. There's not adult CMC character tags. So part of me is afraid some ponies will think it's a foal-fooling fic.

Anyhoof, glad to see you weren't too disappointed by the direction I went with their relationship.

Wow, 15k words in about 24hrs since I started this little project. I'd say I'm on a roll.:rainbowdetermined2:

#15 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter V ·

i love this story so far although it all been fine and dandy, so i really don't understand the sad tag yet, but i assume that stuff is for latter, but ill be watching you...

Na JK, but i will be watching for future chapter or stories, cause Luna is awesome pony

#16 · 128w, 4d ago · · · Chapter V ·

"This is like Christmas. No. It's BETTER than Christmas. It should be it's own Holiday! EXPLOSION DAY! Happy Explosion Day."

An EXPLOSION of cool, that is. (Thanks for your kind words "RICK")

Now, to actually read it and not just skim it. :pinkiehappy:

#17 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter V ·

>>842750

Yes, I went ahead and added the 'sad' tag so as not to blind-side any pony with the later chapters. Since there's no 'bitter-sweet' tag I can use.

Anyhoof, glad to see comments and enjoyment. Please refer it to your friends, my confidence could use more 'thumbs-up'.

Hmm, more then one Mate? Yes! I love the smell of Shipping In the morning, It smell like.... An Orgy? WTF? :rainbowwild:

#19 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter V ·

NEED MOAR :flutterrage:

#20 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter V ·

>>845202

Haha, there is more coming sir. :rainbowdetermined2:If you wish it faster, feel free to gather ponies to rate and comment. The greater the response, the more driven I am to create. :twilightsmile:

#21 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter V ·

@Indingo Eclipse sure i will, sir :moustache:

#22 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter VI ·

Loved it. It does a lot to show how deep his feelings go for both Scootaloo, and Luna. Can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens next. :pinkiecrazy:

#23 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter VI ·

>>847405

Spoiler Alert: Next chapter has ponies. And the ponies do stuff.

Seriously, I'm glad somepony is appreciating my efforts to develop StarStep's character. If there's any particular moment in the chapters that grab you, please let me know. It's nice to see if y'all get some of the jokes and dramatic moments as intended.:twilightsmile:

#24 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter VI ·

Oh Lighthoof your an average gigolo... nicely done.

#25 · 128w, 3d ago · · · Chapter VI ·

>>847745

The moments like his conversation with Luna in this chapter; those moments really pull me in because that's usually where you really get the best idea as to what the character actually feels. Can't help but sit there with a big goofy smile and that warm fuzzy feeling when they really begin to open up. :twistnerd:

I doubt that's very helpful, but I'll try and pay more attention as the story unfolds. :derpytongue2:

#26 · 128w, 2d ago · · · Chapter I ·

So far the first chapter piqued my interest, also I loved Luna in this chapter and I liked your idea on why the Royal Guards all look the same. Looking forward to reading more.

#27 · 128w, 2d ago · · · Chapter II ·

The plot thinkens!:trixieshiftright:

Now in all seriousness I'm liking where this is going, so far so good!

#28 · 128w, 2d ago · · · Chapter VI ·

>>850588

Only when Celestia has too much cake.

#29 · 128w, 2d ago · 1 · · Chapter VI ·

Great Lulz  at the end! :rainbowlaugh: Anyway, great job, as alwais! :ajsmug:

>>852611

Feel free to elaborate. Is that a good or a bad 'hmm'?

#32 · 128w, 2d ago · 5 · · Chapter VII ·

>>852634 it's a i am intrigued hmm

>>852644

Ah, Splendid! Then you'll love where this is all heading. How far does the rabbit hole go?

>>852671 well it a good story just make sure you keep the same pace or else this story can end up badly.

bad prank was bad, its no surprise starstep snapped like that, and huzzah the shipping begins!

>>852796

Indeed. It just goes to show, even an immortal moon goddess can make mistakes. Oh, but her pranking is just getting warmed up.

:pinkiehappy: pinkie says it best

I have this nagging feeling that Luna is trying to push StarStep away... or I may just be imagining things. I really enjoy the feel of brotherhood between StarStep and Lighthoof, kinda makes me wonder how that came to be. While not biologically related, they're so open and playful with each other at times.

"Dude, you're like the one colt I can think of that I don't have the urge to buck into next week when Sherry tells me she thinks you're cute.” <---- This was where I began to think of them more as brothers than best friends. He states that he doesn't like it when Sherry says a colt is cute, well to let another colt rut his fillyfriend with him, that says a lot about their friendship.

“Not sure, left that one in your stash and borrowed Pegasi in Heat, instead.” :rainbowlaugh:

#39 · 128w, 2d ago · 4 · · Chapter VIII ·

Damn man, just cranking out these chapters... :pinkiegasp:

Rapid fire updates, very nice. Started sweet and ended with the funniest spell ever. Well played Luna, well played. :rainbowlaugh:

>>853792

I have the day off for once. I figure two updates today. Happy 4th if you're state-side!

>>853874

Yeah, a part of me wondered if you ponies would get Luna's method of doing things. It's a very awkward and rather adult situation StarStep was put in. But very little I write is without a purpose in this story.

I leave you with prankster Luna http://youtu.be/12460rr3sxk

i think you had to much fun writing this

>>856556

Hah, how can it ever be 'too much' fun? Well, as long as you got a kick out of it. That's my intent.

man, you. are. a. bucking. fantastic. clopfic. writing. machine.

>>856749

Tisk, you got it backwards. It's a novel with clop stapled to it. I got clop in your plot.

>>856854

ololol, thats diiiiirty!  :raritywink:

Seriously though.  You have a heck of a lot of skill developing characters, and. . .  arousing. . .  your audience.  At least in my opinion.

>>857196

*wingbows* Thank you for the complement. I'm hoping to prove that even clopfics can have story and depth to them.

If you think the mature sections are naughty now. Just wait till the rest of the characters come into play.

>>857391

Hoooooh boy.  :pinkiehappy:  And you are quite welcome.  :twilightsmile:

The character development is delicious, and the clop scenes are nice too. It only gets better with every chapter. :moustache:

#50 · 128w, 1d ago · 1 · · Chapter X ·

good as always.

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