Discord's Family Reunion

by Mister E

Part 4

Part 4
How He Met My Mother

"The coastal village of Sorraia," The narrator intones, "Was unique in all of Equestria. Its large port and mild climate made it ideal for importing and exporting food and trade goods throughout all the lands of Equestria. In the shipyards earth ponies constructed great trading ships, as well as sailboats and pleasure craft. Their craft’s ponies were among the finest in all the lands. Along the port the sea ponies had established a great marketplace to trade goods with the surface dwellers. And in the clouds above gathered many pegasi and Flutter ponies, because one of the most unique features of Sorraia, were the Great winds known as 'The Bellows'. The high concave mountain range that surrounded the landward side of Sorraia combined with the natural sea winds in a unique way, to form a powerful air current that flowed into and out from Sorraia with the changing of the tide. Pegasi and Flutter ponies loved to dip themselves into this air stream, and be propelled along at speeds far faster than any pony could ever fly on their own."

Rainbow Dash slaps her hoof down on the remote, She grasps Discord's cheeks with both hooves and stares directly into his eyes, with as serious an expression as she has ever worn. "Sorraia... Where... is... it?"

Discord, seeing her intensity abandons his normal arrogance. "I can tell you exactly where it is, or even take you there myself. But 'The Bellows' no longer blow in Sorraia. The mountains that ringed the coastal valley collapsed during the cataclysm.”

"Nooo,” Rainbow Dash wails dejectedly. Now I'll never get to see just how fast I could've flown."

"What cataclysm?" Twilight asks.

"Soon enough, soon enough" Discord replies despondently. As he starts fiddling with the remote... "Okay search," he mutters to himself. As he begins pressing buttons, the view of Sorraia begins to change, as the scene moves over the docks, Discord stops and hits another button, "Zoom" he says, and a beautiful merchant trading ship grows large in the ponies field of vision. Discord then hits the 'play' button again...

“The Maiden's Fancy was one of the most successful trading ships of Sorraia, and not only because it was the largest. For unlike many of the other merchant traders who were content to sail their yearly voyages between ports already know and charted, The Captain of the Maiden's Fancy chose to make her fortune in trade from new and undiscovered lands.

The name of the ship was a private joke between her and her first mate and lifelong friend 'Boots' Brightwing. Nicknamed 'Boots' because she was one of the very few pegasi to go in for footwear, she was as calm and cool as the captain was fiery and foul tempered. And to look upon her one would never suspect so, because Captain Summergale was one of the loveliest Flutter ponies in all of Sorraia . . . That is, until she opened her mouth. Few were the sailor ponies that would dare risk a tongue lashing from their fair skinned captain, because her temper ran hot as her fiery red hair. The reason the name 'Maiden's Fancy' was their private joke was due to the fact that THAT particular maiden, didn't fancy ANYONE.

But that fact was soon to change.”

Discord pauses the remote, muttering to himself, "Okay, pause, search, zoom, aaaand play.”

“It had been little over a year since Justice had been crowned King of Equestria. And only slightly less than that when his father disappeared right before his eyes. The newly appointed king had been moody and melancholy, although spring had already come into full bloom and the sky's above his castle were high and fair. Yet he never spread his wings and took flight, and the beautiful flower garden dedicated to his mother failed to move him. It was his childhood friend Icarus, who had finally persuaded him to get out of the castle.

"See hear now," Icarus said in one of his rare serious tones, "You've got to get out of this funk. You're the bloody king now! You represent the people! You can't spend all your days locked in your castle as if your under siege! The people need to see you. They need to have confidence that the kingdom is in good hands... I know what you need. A good long holiday!"

"Holiday?" Justice responded without much enthusiasm, "And how will me going on a holiday, bring hope to the people exactly?"

"Well, obviously we aren't going to CALL it a holiday. What we do is fly down to the coast, hire us a nice fine ship, and tour all the coastal provinces in the kingdom. Say that we are renewing ties, and such. The people will get to see you, and YOU will get to see something besides these four walls.”

"And I suppose" Justice replies with no discernible change in his enthusiasm, "that you won’t let this go until I do?"

"Nope, I'll hound you day and night, and you KNOW how good I am at hounding, in fact you should promote me to grand master hounder of the kingdom... with a suitably large salary of course.”

The king heaves a sigh of resignation, "very well Icarus, we will take your little tour, my wings have gotten a bit stiff lately, a flight to the coast will do them good. Now go be useful and find the grand vizier, we'll need to do this thing properly. The council will have to run the place, we'll need guards and retainers and such like.”

At this Icarus stopped short. "Surely you don't mean... 'him'?"

"Well of course" the king replied, warming to the subject, "After all we can't very well take a trip across the wild lands of Equestria without my personal bodyguard. You know, perhaps this trip is just the thing, it will give you two so much time together, you know, to patch things up. He's bound to forgive you for the chicken feathers sooner or later.”

"You forgot the tar, and the stink-weed, and the fact that they were meant for you.”

"Oh Icarus, it's your own fault. He is trained to detect dangers that might occur to me, of course he was going to jump in front of me when your silly little booby trap went off.”

“Well, it's not as if you were in any actual danger,” Icarus said in self defense. “And it's not my fault that he has absolutely no sense of humor.”

“You should have figured that out by the fact his name is 'Stonewall'. Now let's go find him and give him the good news that his king will be exposing himself to mortal danger for months on end. I'm giving you all the credit for this idea of course.”

"Of course." Icarus replies sullenly. "The king is as generous as he is modest... "

"Naturally" the king responds, affecting a jaunty step in his canter.

Behind him Icarus smiles, "That's a bit more like it,” he says to himself.

And so, less than three weeks later, The coastal town of Sorraia was graced with the presence of King Justice, Icarus, Stonewall, and a host of retainers and dignitaries. Many of which would have just as soon stayed home. They declined politely when Justice and Icarus decided to ride the Bellows, and again when they, with Stonewall in tow, toured the shops along the wharf, buying trinkets and souvenirs, with generous tips to the stall keepers. But unfortunately they could not decline when the king was finally ready to hire a ship for their grand tour. After all, they were going to be stuck on the bloody thing for months and months, and they definitely wanted a say in what they were getting stuck with. So it was with no small reluctance that the entire retinue followed king Justice down the docks.

"So, Icarus, what about this one?"

"Absolutely not! Your highness" Stonewall interjects.

"And what is wrong with THIS one?" Icarus asks. Stonewall cuts him an icy glare, and Icarus takes an involuntary step backward.

"Well if you MUST know,” he says in a course grating tone, "THIS one is covered with barnacles below the water line. You can tell when it rises up on a swell. A captain that can't be bothered to keep barnacles off his ship when it's in port, can't be trusted to keep the rest of his vessel sea worthy.”

"Give it up Icarus,” the king says tiredly, "There's no way Stonewall will ever let us on a vessel he doesn't approve of.”

"Perhaps sire,” one of the dignitaries says in a panting voice over his shoulder, "perhaps we should call the tour off... just until such time as a suitable vessel can be commissioned in the royal shipyards of course.”

“Nonsense,” responds the king, as they continue down the docks his voice rising in frustration with every berth they pass, "THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS PORT CITIES IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA! SURELY THERE IS AT LEAST ONE SHIP FIT TO SAIL IN ALL OF THIS DOCKAGE!"

Suddenly a shrill yet commanding voice descends to them from above. “BELAY ALL THAT JIBBER JABBER YEA BARNACLE HEADED FISH WIVES! IF I HEAR BUT ONE MORE WORD, I'LL KEELHAUL THE LOT OF YE ! Oooh my head. BOOTS! FETCH ME, ME TONIC! Me brain feels fit to burst. AND WHAT IN THE SEVEN SEAS WAS IN THAT LAST BOTTLE?”

The king was shocked into silence. The red faced dignitaries all erupted at once.

"How dare they? How dare they address their KING in such a manner? Stonewall, get up there at once and teach them their place.”

Stonewall glares the dignitary into silence and peers above him. 'Up there' is the largest ship they have yet to come across. Stonewall's gaze travels across every inch of the vessel that he can see, ignoring the near apoplectic members of the king’s retinue. Finally he goes up to a bowline, and without pausing, bites it. He holds it in his mouth for a minute while the now silent staff gaze at him curiously. Finally he speaks.

"Yup, this one'll do. Come on." And with that he begins to trot up the gangplank. A puzzled yet curious king of Equestria follows, and with him, comes the rest.

Captain Summergale was in a bad mood. Although this was a normal state of being for her, this morning she was in a particularly bad mood. She and her first mate stayed up all the night before sampling various bottles of pressed apple juices they had brought back with them on their latest voyage. Her crew had been granted shore leave the day before, and she didn't expect any of them to be heard from for at least a week. That is unless the constable showed up. So she and Boots, having some time to relax had proceeded to do just that. And now they were paying for it.

She had no way of knowing it at the time, but she had successfully managed to acquire the worst hangover to be had to date in all the lands of Equestria. This can be attributed to the mistaken consumption of their final bottle, a little green bottle of hoof polish that had been mistakenly added to their collection of other bottles that lay empty about the floor of her cabin. And to that, her mood was further worsened by the fact that some loud mouthed pony was out there on the docks, bad mouthing the ships in HER HOME PORT. Well, there was only one ladylike way to respond to such uncouth behavior...

"BELAY ALL THAT JIBBER JABBER YEA BARNACLE HEADED FISH WIVES! IF I HEAR BUT ONE MORE WORD, I'LL KEELHAUL THE LOT OF YE! Oooh my head. BOOTS! FETCH ME, ME TONIC! Me brain feels fit to burst. AND WHAT IN THE SEVEN SEAS WAS IN THAT LAST BOTTLE?"

"I have no idea,” Boots responds groggily, "It was green... and tasted like... hoof polish?"

"GAHH. I mean gahh,” she says lowering her voice to keep from making it any worse. "Tha's what I get for swillin stuff from foreign parts without seeing how it affects someone else first.” She breaks off the rest of her tirade as she hears hoof beats coming up the gang plank.

"WHO IN-,” she begins, then clutches her head, takes a deep breath, and starts again, "Who in blazes is coming aboard ship at this hour?" She peers blearily out the porthole beside her bed. " It must be near two in the afternoon... By the beard of the Sky Stallion! It must be... pirates!"

"Pirates?" Boots asks unsteadily.

"Aye, and clever blighters they are too. Attacking under cover of daylight! No one would suspect it! Me crews all gone, tryin to catch us unawares, they be out ta steals me ship!"

Suddenly some pony begins knocking on the cabin door. A voice the sound of gravel pierces the sudden silence.

"We can hear you in there. Come out, we have come for your vessel."

Both Boots and the captain look at each other. "By my brass buckled boots! You were right captain! It is pirates!"

"Aye, and clever too like I tole ye. How many other pirates have ye heard of that knock first before they be stealin ye ship? But they'll not be takin MY vessel without a fight! Ye with me Boots?"

"Aye captain, to the last. And if it be out fate to die, they be no finer place to do it, and no one I'd rather be with.”

"Well said, Boots! Now let's show these lubbers what we're made of!"

"Aye, aye captain ! Do we have a plan?"

"Aye Boots, yer captain always has a plan." And with that Captain Summergale goes over to the far wall next to her bed.

"Heh, and them shipwrights called ME, crazy for having all me secret escape hatches hidden throughout the ship!"

It was true, the shipwrights of Sorraia, almost to a pony, had all agreed that Captain Summergale had to be crazy to want nearly a dozen secret escape hatches hidden throughout the ship, four of which were below the water line. But between her gold, her mouth, and her cutlass she got her way... as usual.

"Now Boot's, here be me brilliant plan I just now thought up, I'll go out the main door and be distractin em, while you fly out me secret escape hatch, fly around port side and flank em, in their flanks.”

"Um captain, I'm still feelin a bit off from more than a few of these bottles, I ain't for sure I can manage to fly at the moment.”

"Nonsense Boots, a good blast of fresh salty air, and you'll be right as rain! Now stand by to leap out that door as soon as ye see me start to open mine.”

"Um, aye, aye captain... I hope... "

"Right then, on the count o three. One, two, three... "

And with that Captain Summergale flung open the door intending to wreak havoc on the first pony she saw. Unfortunately as soon as she opened the door a mighty hoof came down on her head, knocking her out cold. She hit the deck at the same time that an unfortunate Boots suffering from a terrible case of gravity poisoning, leaped out the hatch, completely failed to fly, and splashed down into the harbor. Both of them, had they been able to, would have appreciated the exchange on deck mere moments before. It went like this...

"I'm sure I heard the voice coming from the captain’s cabin," Icarus interjected helpfully between the grumblings of various dignitaries. Let me just knock on the door.” Icarus knocks on the cabin door, "We can hear you in there.” He says, in a fair imitation of Stonewall's voice. "Come out, we have come for your vessel." Suddenly there is silence within, followed by what sounds like low mutterings.

"You knock like a filly,” Stonewall proclaims. "THIS is how you get some pony's attention!" And with that he rears back a muscular hoof, and swings it forward, intent on landing a mighty blow on the solid oak door. Instead, the door swung quickly open and he instead lands a mighty blow upon Captain Summergale's head, knocking her out cold. A faint splash can be heard nearby.

Discord pauses the remote, as various ponies in the room wince in sympathy. "And on such events,” he proclaims, "the wheel of history turns. Had Captain Summergale NOT been knocked out just then, the first impression King Justice would have had would have been a foul tempered, foul mouthed, mad pony, trying to run him through with a cutlass. Instead what happened was this... ” And Discord hits the play button.

Justice, Icarus, and Stonewall look down at the unconscious form of Captain Summergale. "Stonewall, what have you done?" Justice demands.

"It was an accident your highness, she threw open the door, as I was about to knock.”

"Oh this poor, poor, pony.” Justice says in sympathy.

"Oh this poor, poor, incredibly beautiful pony.” Icarus notes with a wry tone.

"Oh this poor, captain of the vessel we had hoped to hire, judging by her long coat.” Stonewall says, a grim resignation in his voice. "I can't help but feel this will negatively impact on our negotiations.”

"Much like the negative impact on her head?" Icarus can't help but interject, dodging a hoof.

"Silence both of you.” Justice snaps. “Icarus, go fetch me some clean water, Stonewall, help me carry her into her cabin, the rest of you lot, see if you can find any of her crew. Search the taverns around the port.”

At this the dignitaries all look aghast, but a stern unforgiving glare from their King convinces them that this is not the time to argue, and they reluctantly go to do as he requested. Stonewall, and Justice carry the captain back into her cabin and lay her on the bed. Icarus comes in with a bucket of water. Justice leans over her, looking at her intently for any sign that she may awaken.

"Try patting her hoof" Stonewall says in a rare quiet tone, "it always works in the stories" an inquiring gaze pass between the three, " I- I mean, that's what I heard the stories say to do,” he replies flustered.

Justice, who had little time to do so earlier, had been making a study of the captain, and his conclusions were that beyond a doubt, she was the loveliest creature Justice had ever looked upon. From her beautiful gossamer wings, to her fiery red curly hair. Justice had scoffed at the idea of love at first sight in times past, but he knew, that right then, had she awakened, he would have ransomed the kingdom just to see her smile.

Fortunately for the kingdom that proved to be unnecessary, because it was about that time that Captain Summergale awoke. The first sight she beheld was an incredibly handsome pony looking down at her.

“Ah,” she thought, "Now THIS is a nice dream. Much better than that last one with Boots, and pirates, and someone hitting me upside the head with a cannon.”

"Here" Justice says smiling down at her, "drink this.”

"Oh this dream gets better and better,” Summergale thought,” as she held the proffered cup to her lips and took a long drink...

"ARRRGHH!" Summergale yells, " I'VE BEEN POISONED!" she bellows. The three ponies look at each other.

"It was water, I swear!" shouts Icarus.

"WATER? WATER! BY THE BEARD OF THE SKY STALLION, IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! YE BARNACLE HEADED NINNY HAMMER! NEVER DARE GIVE THE CAPTAIN OF THE MAIDIEN'S FANCY WATER!!!” Icarus and Stonewall take an involuntary step back from the force of the captain's voice. Justice on the other hand still hasn't moved. Still gazing at the captain with a face that could only be described as love struck. Seemingly immune to the sheer force of Summergale's verbal assault, he speaks to her in his most courteous fashion.

"A thousand apologies my good captain. I'm sure Icarus meant no insult. But if I may make any reparation in his stead, please allow me to do so.” And with that the King bows deeply. At this point Summergale isn't the only pony in the room that is shocked speechless by his actions.

Discord pauses the remote once again. "And that my dear ponies, is how Pappa met Momma. They always said I take after Mom's side of the family. What do you think Fluttershy?"

"Well', she says hesitantly, "It does explain where you got your um... flair, from.”

"You think so?" he responds querulously, "I never noticed.”

"Speaking of flair" Rarity interjects, "Your... mother... that just sounds so odd to say, well her wings are simply divine! Her fashion sense could use a little polish of course, but I must say, she really is quite ravishing!"

"Why thank you my dear. People used to say my sister inherited her looks, while I got her personality. I always thought I took more after my Dad to be honest.”

At that Twilight assumes a cynical expression. "Um, I don't quite see the resemblance."

"Yes yes, pony, Draconicus, I see where you are going. We'll get to that later. Let me just fast forward a bit..." And with that Discord speeds up the rate of images as they appear.

The ponies witness the clearing up of the misunderstanding that had brought Justice and Summergale together, as well as the timely rescue of Boots by Icarus as he flew off the deck, into the cold ocean to help get her to shore. Boots was instantly smitten with her brave and handsome rescuer, and over the course of the voyage to come, pursued him mightily. The ponies see Discord's future parents as they come to know each other over King Justice's tour. Icarus was the first to fall victim to cupids’ arrow, and the charms of the first mate. Stonewall’s glares of disapproval served only to goad him on, yet every time Icarus turned away, he failed to see a smile of satisfaction on Stonewall's face.

Justice and Summergale's courtship was slower. Despite what was obvious to every other pony present, Justice treated Summergale like a delicate flower, and showed her all of the courtesy due to a queen. Summergale, who had never had any pony treat her so well, could not bring herself to treat Justice as she did every other pony that crossed her path. The fact that he was the most handsome pony she had ever seen didn't hurt matters either. The longer the voyage went on, the more excuses the both of them found to be alone together. They spent their time telling each other stories of their pasts. Summergale couldn't hide her amusement at the way the ponies at court behaved. And Justice would laugh uproariously at the bawdy tales of trouble that Summergale and Boots got up to.

Justice took to visiting the captain during her shifts manning the helm. He would sit beside her under a sky filled with stars, sometimes neither pony would even speak, and just gaze at the panorama before them.

“Look yonder, yer kingship,” she said one cloudless night, the moon full before them. “See where the sea meets the sky?”

“I-I can’t actually tell.” Justice responds. “The reflections of the stars on the sea, match the sky.”

“Aye, that’s what I mean. On nights like this it’s like we be sailin thru the sky itself. Like meself and me ship have somehow left the sea and be sailin thru the heavens. Yarr, this is what it’s all about yer highness, this right here.

Between the realm of earth and sky,

before the light of morning comes,

the soothing night, with stars alight,

a waking dream that’s just begun,

The moon a watchman in the sky,

he casts his light upon us all,

the land, the sea, and mountains heights,

wherever shrouded darkness falls,

Days bright chaos burns the eye,

and forces sweat upon our brows,

but cool darkness, gives surcease,

and that for me’s enough for now,

Come sail with me into the night,

the moon so full, the stars so bright,

no sorrow here, no cause fro fright,

The endless sky, tis pure delight...”

Justice looked at the captain as if seeing her for the first time. Wordlessly he moves to stand before her at the wheel. He gently turns her face to his, and kisses her. Summergale, pulls away after a moment. And locks the wheel in place with lanyards. Then she pulls Justice close to her, and kisses him in return... A somewhat uncomfortable Discord, increases the playing speed.

The rest of the voyage passed as if it were a dream to Justice. To both he and Icarus the ports of call passed by like a blur, the only moments lingering were the ones they spent with Summergale and Boots. But all too soon the voyage was over. Much to the relief of the dignitaries. Many of whom vowed to never leave their rooms at the castle again except for meals. Discord resumes normal playing speed.

"You know your highness, there are other provinces that we haven't visited" Icarus begins hesitantly, "I'm sure they would appreciate a visit from their King.”

"Other coastal provinces you mean?" the king responds. "No Icarus, we both know I have to go back. I, more than anyone else, cannot abandon my duties... no matter how I am tempted to do so.”

"What will you tell her?" Icarus asks.

"What will YOU tell Boots?” the king responds. "You could stay here you know... Sign on with the ship. Sign on with her.”

"Don't think I haven't thought about it,” Icarus says in a dejected tone, "I'd sign on with her in a hoof beat, but really Justice, what would you do without me? No don't answer that, I'll tell you. You'd sit in your room in the palace, look out at the garden, sigh wistfully, and... LET THE WHOLE BLOODY KINGDOM FALL APART!" he explodes.

Justice let's out a snort of laughter. "Icarus, you know me too well. To be honest, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you both. Thank you.”

"Oh Gods, you've been around her far too much. You both have gotten all soft and mushy. I'm starting to think going back is for the best."

"Really?" says Justice,

"NO!" Icarus replies. At this point captain Summergale joins them on the deck.

"Icarus. Boots asked me ta tell ye she be wantin to speak with ye in her cabin before ye go.”

"Of course captain, thank you.” He replies as he trots off somewhat dejectedly.

"I'd be for havin a few words with ye as well. In me own cabin o' course.”

"Of course,” Justice replies as they trot off together to her cabin.

No more than two hours later, the last of the baggage had been taken off the ship, all of the various members of King Justice's staff had already disembarked long before. That left on Icarus, Stonewall, and King Justice himself. Justice and Icarus stood on the gangplank, facing Boots and Captain Summergale. None of the four spoke, none of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye. The looks that passed between them were one's of dejected resignation. After several minutes’ Stonewall spoke.

"Shore leave.” He said in leaden tones.

"What?" Justice responds, having been lost in his own thoughts.

"Shore leave.” Stonewall repeats. " We've been over half a year at sea. Surely the crew of the Maiden's Fancy are due for shore leave?" at this he looks fixedly at Captain Summergale. "And I would THINK, that after giving such excellent service to the crown, that the KING,” at this he stares pointedly at Justice, “would be obliged to offer the captain and her crew accommodations in Equinity as part of their bonus, to enjoy the aforementioned shore leave. Wouldn't you agree your Highness?" Silence passes amongst them for a moment, then they all begin talking at once.

"Of course!”

"Aye, a nice long EXTENDED shore leave!"

Icarus looks incredulously at Stonewall. "I don't know which surprises me more. The fact that you are about to set this unruly crew of almost pirates free to roam the streets of Equinity, or the fact that you just spoke more than one sentence at a time.”

"In the first place,” Stonewall responds, "I think they will liven the place up a bit. In the second place..." and with that Stonewall not too gently smacks Icarus up the backside of his head.

"Sooo,” Luna inquires slyly, as Discord prepares his remote for the next scene. "What exactly did Justice and Captain Summergale "discuss' in their cabin? I'll bet it was the same thing Icarus and Boots were 'talking' about in hers.” At this several other ponies in the room perk their ears up.

"Ladies PLEASE! That's my PARENTS we are talking about!" Discord responds, a note of strangled hysteria in his voice. "I'm sure they were just saying goodbye. Moving on... " He says struggling to regain his composure.

"For nearly two hours?" Twilight interjects. "Must've been one looooong goodbye!" At that several ponies begin to giggle.

"MOVING ON!" Discord's voice rises again, as he frantically begins stabbing at the remote.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

5336413 Who is the guy in your avatar?

[Starlight Nova]

Why were chapters three and four published so late? Shouldn't they have been added at the beginning?

[Princess LightningChaser]

"Must've been one looooong goodbye!" At that several ponies begin to giggle.
"MOVING ON!" Discord's voice rises again, as he frantically begins stabbing at the remote.

can't stop laughing, its too funny! gngfhrfjrjdegedhdjudegrsf

[HeartfireFirebrand]

6844359
Agreed hahahahahahhaa

[HeartfireFirebrand]

"A thousand apologies my good captain. I'm sure Icarus meant no insult. But if I may make any reparation in his stead, please allow me to do so.” And with that the King bows deeply. At this point Summergale isn't the only pony in the room that is shocked speechless by his actions.

Discord pauses the remote once again. "And that my dear ponies, is how Pappa met Momma. They always said I take after Mom's side of the family. What do you think Fluttershy?"

"Well', she says hesitantly, "It does explain where you got your um... flair, from.”

"You think so?" he responds querulously, "I never noticed.”

"Speaking of flair" Rarity interjects, "Your... mother... that just sounds so odd to say, well her wings are simply divine! Her fashion sense could use a little polish of course, but I must say, she really is quite ravishing!"

Explains why he is such a wild soul