I've been following this story for a long time now.

I'm not going to say very much right now because, well, let's just say I tend to be a bit "long winded" in my reviews. And I only write reviews for "complete" stories. And from what I've seen, your story might just be nearing that "complete" status.

In other words, what could very well be the longest comment ever to be seen on this entire site is brewing, even as you sit there reading this comment. Be prepared, my friend. Be very prepared.

12469
The story appears to be complete at 16 Chapters.
SleeplessBrony said there may be a short epilogue.
There may be a spinoff with Fluttershy and Big Mac.
I will read anything SB writes though.

I can't really make any other comments here that wouldn't be copypasta of my comments on the PFA and that just isn't my style.

This is unlike anything I've ever read.
Amazing how you switched from cloppyness to...well...profound insights in life? Dat Tweest?
Especially in the earlier chapters, I felt everything was a bit over the top, not realistic. But the way you wrote it made it believable.
And with these latest couple of chapters, the realism has only increased.
And THAT, is totally amazing, considering this is a My Little Pony fic with a well deserved 'mature' tag on it.

I bow to you're might good sir, and request the honor to study under your tutelage. I am struggling with my writing, and seeing idols such as yourself inspire, but also humble my tide of emotion.

Epic show good sir...epic show...

^god you're all overreacting up there <_<
trollluna just warmed up.

at first

then I think i see where this is going

then it didnt or not sure

then the ending

ONWARD!

"I believe lil' Applebloom is playin' somewheres in the orchard with her friends." - A double space!

Another chapter without sex, that I liked But the ending... I feel so sorry for Twilight
Now I'm going to read all left chapters, and then the ones I skipped.

You know Luna was right. There are different kinds of love. But some take up more room than others.

NO WORDS, NO WORDS AT ALL!

It's amazing how this fic evolved from what seemed like a hilarious, perverted romp into, well, this.

I think Luna maybe doesn't understand what it means to be, well, mortal. She mentioned that she has all the time in the world. But Twilight certainly doesn't. And I can't decide if Luna just isn't taking Twilight seriously, or if she's taking the whole relationship thing too seriously. I mean, asking Twilight to learn more through experience may have been a bit unconventional, but it made sense, in a way. But her latest request is just a bit too much, especially after what happened with Braeburn...

You, sir, have done marvelous at making the readers feel emotion. As of now, I have two things to say.
1. Fuck. You. LUUUUUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I'm so sorry, Twilight.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljv9tvIQC81qfewofo1_500.jpg
Yes, yes you can.
:Somepony!
: Anypony!
: Help us!
: What is wrong, dearest citizens?
: We were wondering if you could help us. We're offering 1,000,000 bits for someone to slap that bitch they call Luna. She toyed with my best frineds heart. And broke it. Hard. 500,000 bits for each extra slap, and if you send her to the moon, we will become your slaves.
(Me): ^ My emotions.

I will refrain from further bitching.

I don't know if this was a goal of yours, but you did a wonderful job of making me HATE Luna.

Love is actually a very broad term for affection. It simply is the importance of which you hold to something or someone. Love varies from simple approval, how ever small, to fierce passion, devotion, and even obsession to the point where your own life and everything else you love is simply but possible tools to better protect and love that which you hold most dear. Some side effects of love are friendship, family bonds, and desire.

Opposing such is hate. Hate is the feeling that it is important something (or at least the qualities that make that object, the object of your hate) would be non-existent.

Yet even as these are, in a way, opposites, they can quite easily co-exist. You can hate just as much as you can love for it is the qualities of something that you truly hate or love. It is simply that those qualities are what make up that something so if you love something (which can mean anything from being mildly fond of something to putting so far above yourself that you are simply the instrument of it's continued existence) then it simply means that you hate all the "bad" qualities together about something/someone less than you love all the "good" qualities together. Hating something/someone (ranging from mere annoyance at it's existence to it being something you would gladly endure every torture in and out of existence and then become non-existent yourself as long as that something/someone was given with same fate) is simply hating the "bad" qualities more than you love the "good" qualities.

How much you love or hate something can be changed in a few ways; you can learn of new qualities that you may love or hate in varying degrees (like finding an animal "lovable" until you realize how undesirable it's actions or other un-obvious qualities are or hating a broken piece of glass in your foot only to find out it was an oddly shaped 24 carrot diamond that will pay for not only the trouble to get it removed but also leave enough left over to make a new "priceless" family heirloom that will eventually gain great sentimental value).

So you see, loving (and/or hating) something/someone is simple. The only thing that makes it a mysterious and complex subject is the reasons why you love/hate it. These qualities can range from a physical detail to an action something/someone can (or will) take and can have even more qualities about them specifically. In this we can easily lose ourselves as we may lose sight of what exactly caused us to have that opinion about a quality in the first place or how they relate to our goals or what we see as truly important in life. Sometimes we begin loving/hating things simply because we have done so for as long as we can clearly remember.

Now we get to my point. Luna knows that in order to truly know you love something/someone (you can still truly love something/someone but still never really know why. it's just that you will also never know why you might stop loving it/them or even how you might fix things so that that love can be felt again), you must be willing to question why; beyond that, you must answer that question with a legitimate reason (or reasons). The only problem is that Twilight might not truly love Luna and Luna, though she sees potential in Twilight, realizes that she does not yet truly know if she loves her enough to make it worth the pain of knowing Twilight intimately when Twilight dies (like every other mortal lover). It is something she holds in very high regard (you might even say that she loves the concept of love itself). She also knows that Twilight might find that Luna is not as great as Twilight once thought she was and lose her current level of love for the princess who might also find that she does love twilight deeply after getting to know her. This, in itself, would be devastating to Luna and though I find her unwillingness to take that risk a bit selfish, I understand her reasons. That kind of pain doesn't just go away without a fight and she might even find herself hating Twilight for it; especially if, as mentioned before, Luna's deep love for the concept of love itself is a reality. If Twilight denied Luna's love then Luna might end up making a decision based or her own hatred and I'm pretty sure her last punishment might have had something to do with that (Luna hating something/someone though possibly not for the same reasons implied here).

TL;DR:

Luna is trying to find out if she loves Twilight and vice versa so that she doesn't end up hurting one or both of them REALLY BAD

(honestly? Twilight can walk this one off and get over it. She wouldn't really be able to do that after years of devotion and loving the princess simply because she loves the princess. It's not a good or healthy reason. Same goes for the princess, if twilight dumped her after she had fallen madly in love with her... let's just say Luna's track record with handling emotions isn't too great. Emotional wrath is blind to reason.)

I can tell this is a lesson.

But it is the worst lesson.

Why would Celestia let Luna continue to do this when she is so cold hearted bitch? Luna would act like this for a friend, student of her sister, one who freed her, and one loves her. SHE SHOULD BE BACK ON THE BUCKING MOON!!! "follow your heart....did she know this would happen?" (not that I'm looking for an answer, before somebody come ans spoils the story for me)

599087 I counted six.
996989 Rev up those fryers

#obligatoryGorillaz:

I saw that day, lost my mind
Lord, I'll find, maybe in time
You'll want to be mine

Maybe in time
You'll want to be mine
Maybe in time
You'll want to be mine

That is rather clever of Luna, if a bit callous, how better to foster a developing relationship between two other people than to deny one of them, namely the one who loves you, the love that they crave.

"Don't go! I can try! I'll do it!" Twilight dives in front of Luna, begging her, all caution forgotten. Luna averts her eyes, like the sight of Twilight pains her.
"In your desperation, you shame yourself. Like many before you. I'm so sorry, Twilight."

Now I see it. It was a test, one that Twilight failed utterly, I mean come on, what kind of love declaration is "I'll have a relationship whit somepony else if that's what you want, just don't turn me down" thats kinda stalker-like, if not downright creepy.

Still really mean though.

I'm realy liking this so far.

I used to think Luna was best pony D:
Now, I have a deep, resonating hate for her.
Make it stop, oh PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP

Let us break bread together...
gtasamugen.webs.com/jesus_king_1.jpg
ok jesus

Just realized that this chapter still leaves the completely unimportant, but still interesting, mystery of whether Pinkie hooked up with an Apple...

ok, so I really don't usually comment on stories of a cloppy nature, but my god this makes me hate Luna.

Man that first half was REALLY teasing a Twijack scene. I was expecting it, didn't get one, was happy that I didn't,. And how you wrote the scene as a possible cocktease was FANTASTIC!
And that second half....ouch.. I think I might have to favorite this now

Even after this display of bitchiness by Luna, she is still best pony to me. I just am revoking a small part of my love for her.

so, i guess the reason luna cut it off was because when twilight said "i can't, i won't" luna knew it came straight from her heart.

I heard of tough love but damn, this is seriously messed up. Maybe it's just me with my not-so-long lifespan but damn...

In the distance, a large red pony walks out the front door of the farmhouse. The sun is already high in the sky. He's probably been working for hours. Her breath has long since caught up to her. She starts walking again.

You have mistaken... Mac is a stallion.

Wow, that seems a little cold Luna. Maybe Twilight will find her true love when she is trying to get Luna. I'm looking forward to reading on.

What's happening? What... what is... no!

All I could think...
[youtube=http://youtube/xhrBDcQq2DM]

She's walking right behind Mac, and her eyes wander on their own over his thick legs and rump, and the short, straw-like swatch of his tail.

Don't even think about it. Unless Mac expresses an interest in you fully of his own accord, 'Shy has dibs. You know this.

Stop, that is so rude! God, I never used to be this bad. Is this just how I am now?

You just noticed?

She must really feel awful.

Don't read too much into it; you saw how she was drinking last night. She's got to have quite the hangover.

"How about I brush it for you?" Twilight says.

Whoa, there, Twilight. You're just going to lead yourself into disappointment and an awkward situation. It doesn't matter how beautiful she is; you know she's not interested.
Tread lightly, for once, will you?

"Uh... well... I mean, I know you don't..." She blushes and stammers.

I wasn't... was I?

I hope you're not fooling yourself. I hope you're not that gullible.

What if I was? You know, one o' those hypotheticals. Would you ask me out?

Not if she could just skip to asking you in.
. . . I can think of several ways to interpret that, but they all lead to the same innuendo. Weird.

"Ha!" Applejack chuckles loudly. "I like to think you've been edgin' in on my girl, you hussy." She winks.

I'd just like to say, AJ: thank you for being a nine. I don't think you could play the voice of reason if you were more intimately involved with the whole debacle. And then where would we be?

Yes, she is pretty convenient. Helped me out. Kind of.

What an awful thought. That kind of thought is what got me in trouble with Braeburn.

But Dash wanted it that way.

No, she pretended to want it that way. Except when she dropped her mask on the floor. You just weren't paying attention.
But, on the other hoof, Dash is a big girl, and she can make her own choices. While it would have been nice if you had seen through Dash's motivations and aimed to behave in an optimal manner with respect to them, you are not really responsible for all that.

Yes, great. Go ahead. Sexual fantasies are the solution to every problem, you dirty filly.

They got you this far, didn't they? And isn't this where you want to be?
Oh, sorry. I forgot for a moment that sarcasm was last chapter.

Obviously she knows what Luna knows. How could I have thought otherwise? Just talk to her. Maybe she can help.

Yeah, the goddess who is practically your second mother wants to know about your sex life. No reason to be coy.

"She seems like everything I could ever want. She's perfect. Like..."

Like you?

Except more approachable, as far as sex and romance and all that goes. Basically, she's a consolation prize.

I knew she would say something like that. Why can't anypony just give me a straight answer?!

Love is complicated. It cannot be taught. It can only be learned.
Any straight answer would be a lie.

"Is it not a little past your bedtime?" she says, looking down her snout at Celestia. Celestia narrows her eyes just slightly, and her ever-present warm smile looks strained at the edges.

"Indeed it is. But I don't mind staying up for our student. I know you understand," Celestia says.

Translation:
"Stop meddling with my life. This is none of your business."
"Stop toying with my student's emotions and I'd be happy to leave you to your own devices."

"A little. She does not exactly approve of this mission I've given you, you know."

Panic floods Twilight's senses. She shoots up onto her rump, scooting back on the bed.

"What?! She doesn't... what?!" Twilight says.

Oh calm down. Tia's not angry at you. If you were playing with Winona and threw a stick into the middle of a busy intersection, would AJ blame Winona for chasing it? If Pinkie left toys and candy outside an open window, would it be Pound's fault if he flew out after them?

Luna walks slowly past Twilight, sticking one wing out so the feathers caress Twilight's side as she passes. The touch is hypnotic, mesmerizing, and Twilight melts down onto the bed. Stars glimmer in her mind. Luna snaps her wing away and Twilight shakes her head, feeling more calm.

"She might not agree with my methods..." Luna begins poking around Twilight's nightstand, carefully examining everything she finds. "But she is hardly one to talk. As I said, she will not come between us."

There have got to be perfectly good ways to defuse Twi's interest in you, though, that don't involve using your sexy alicorn magic to make her more attracted to you.
Because I'm sure you are capable of walking through a crowd without nearly making every pony you bump into orgasm. You cannot convince me otherwise.

It's like she's doing it on purpose... ugh, I can almost see her! What am I doing?

She has been the goddess of the night for longer than you can even imagine. When it comes to love, she does nothing accidentally.

It's getting harder to find complaints. I am getting acclimated. Indifferent. And I cannot find new ways to complain about indifference forever.
It's a bit depressing that I'm running out of complaints already.

2753771 Twilight, however, is not. And she's the one who was out of breath.

Whoa, awesome. That's all I can think to say.

Luna was one of my favorites. Now I kinda hate her and AJ with a burning passion...wow. You're good.

Let us break bread together...

PPPFFFAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahhohohohohohhahahahahahahehehehehahahahahahrrhaehrhshrhshdycydjwvwgsudickfhesgsyxjdownsgxh!!!!

*drops dead due to lung explosion*

Evanescence - my heart is broken. Started playing when Luna started to shoot twilight down

............................................... : sad : I feel your pain Twilight!

...And out the window goes the entirety of what I've said about any incoming plot twists...

886721 I totally agree with you.

WHAT

Dam

I haven't finished the story yet--hell, I haven't even finished this chapter-- but I need to thank you for writing Applejack's dialogue so well, and not writing it the way everyone else seems to. Which is to say, waaay too literal in the phonetic twang of her speech. The way you do it is perfect. You let diction, for the most part, get her accent across, rather than a lot of "Ah" instead of "I" (eurgh) and a bunch of apostrophes that are overused. So thank you, seriously, for writing her so well, and nawt makin' her talk laike this ever' sentence.

Also this story is an instant favorite and a shining example of good, clear, cadenced writing that could make any subject matter enjoyable. You're awesome.

Back to the goodness.

Sorry." Applejack looks mortified, a rare sight for Twilight. "Not that you aren't a great gal. And mighty purdy, to boot. But I'm pretty sure my cellar door don't swing that way."

"I have. Sort of. I don't know, I love her to bits and all. If she was a guy, I'd be up in that right away." She finds her hat and sticks it back on her still-messy mane. "But I just can't get worked up over mares. I think about doin' it with stallions, and that gets me goin', no question. It's a shame, really. Be mighty convenient if I could just do it with Rainbow Dash."

And then this happened.