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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice transition piece. Can't wait for the next chapter!
23620 First, er.... second?
Goodness. Very well written o////o
Poor Braeburn! Such a gentlecolt getting used for sex.
WELL.
Goodbye, Innocence
My Gods, at the end, the letter is signed "L"....... Death Note.....
Very good. I'm dissapointed that you don't have more comments. It's truely a brilliant Fan Fiction.
I don't have words to describe how good this is. I feel like Fluttershy screaming
23621 Jeebus! The last time I read this was THAT long ago?! Well! It's a good thing I'm reading it again, then!
Right, just read one more before bed xD (and some of it is partially "snippet of text" written, so it might make assumptions at times which might be incorrect.)
Anyhow, can firstly say I wish the vulva scene would have been as descriptive, with more throbs, winks, twitches and whatnot. And only sticking with "familiar" terms as "wet" is technically "safer", but eh. And see you kept the hymen part, like said all those months ago, it's very rarely a "tearing" as the hymen is a "collar" like thing, unless defunct, which Twilight's was before edit... and apparently after hehe. Still, some more "education" on the term in story would have been nice (although, the fact you partially mentioned it is great), either by her or Braeburn. Only reason I'm okay with it is due to equines actually having them as well, one of the few mammals. That, and Twi seems like a filly that didn't move as much as others. But anyhow, we've had that discussion before.
On another topic, I know I mentioned "wet" at the top before, but the erect commented reminded me of it: A nerd like Twi should be fully aware she is also erect, unless she went flaccid after the hymen stretch, which is very possible. But yeah, as said, people that doesn't know female anatomy would be surprised, possibly freaked out by the term. On a random side note, did you know female tears contain a thing that works as a sort of anti-arousal chemical? (gah, sorry, rambling again xD)
506101 OF COURSE it makes complete sense. L never died, he was a human being told what to do by Luna! genius, must be cannon.
I know a lot about killing the mood.
Until this chapter I had never seen it resuscitated.
Well done Twilight and Braeburn!
Twilight- you really should write him. He's a caring and courteous guy full of interesting stories. And apparently no slouch in the bedroom either.
Oh, that's right- one complaint. You use the word "arms" a lot in the description of the sex scene. That feels weird to me. Why not forelegs?
I looked up Wikipedia's list of apple cultivars as research for a story I'm writing.
Now I get this title.
I like it. Sneaky.
Was that consensual rape? did Braeburn just get taken advantage of? Wow. Also, Bodily fluids, Bodily Fluids everywhere!
I have to be honest... I almost entirely skipped this chapter. I much preffered the Love scene. Mare on Mare just... Makes more sense to me. Sorry, Braeburn.
You missed a massive opportunity with the Apple accent here to make a classic movie shout-out: "Why Miz Twahlight... Is you tryin' to seduce me?"
I usually never read stuff like this. A friend of mine told me to read it and I am extremely impressed! Good characterization! The present tense was weird but pleasant. Will finish the fic by the end of the week, most likely.
506101
Particularly amusing if, like me, you've read Death Note Equestria....
Also, unrelated...
In this episode, the part of Princess Luna will be voiced by Sir Alec Guinness.
Brilliant! I particularly like how you keep humor in the sex scenes so fluently. I must say that you are, hooves down, one of the best damn writers I've ever seen! Or read a story or book or whatever from. Thanks man, keep it up
when i see this, all i could think of was this video.
i laughed. a lot.
As in Portland?
How does one drop their jaw while kissing?
That was a particularly kinky little chapter. I liked it quite a bit. I especially liked Twilight's "Phase Two"
I look forward to reading about that particular adventure.
Oh, he does not even know how he wishes he had been there. And he never will.
Calm down, and keep your tail down. You don't want to get so lost in thought that you don't realize you're displaying all that to the entire town.
But I guess we can't stop you from displaying to the entire town that you either recently got laid for the first time, or recently discovered marijuana. You are so chill that I could punch you in the face, and you wouldn't be bothered.
Don't think too much about how Rarity is ashamed of what you two did last night. You'll just harsh your mellow.
As in, 180 degrees? As in, he was looking at you from behind? As in . . . well, you know what I'm thinking. I told you just a few quotes up.
I'd be wary if I were you, Twi. He's leaving tomorrow morning, so you certainly can't play this slowly. And the social implications of sleeping with a stallion you basically only know from dancing with him once are different from the social implications of sleeping with a close friend . . . I'm not saying it won't work, but I recommend treading carefully.
Don't you know that one should never ask for extra cheese when the cheese in question is Amarecan cheese? No amount of that stuff is too little.
Ordering all the cheese was not a good plan.
. . . Or stomp around like an elephant. I suppose that's technically an alternative to treading lightly.
Alright. Fine. I defer to your wisdom. Stomp around like an elephant all you want. Apparently it works perfectly well.
Just don't come crying to me if Braeburn says something (admittedly probably on accident) to AJ that confuses her and makes her ask you what he's talking about. Or, worse, if he says something that doesn't confuse AJ.
Yes. That is how sex works. You may not have the experience, but I know you know the anatomy. Don't worry too much about it; this has been getting overall positive reviews since well before recorded history.
Anyway, this was your idea. Do you want to chicken out now?
Congratulations. You just threw off the entire rhythm of the scene. That rhythm is dead now; it can never come back.
With an icepick to the head. It was pretty gruesome.
Don't encourage her. Unless you want her to take notes, of course . . . I won't judge.
Don't quote me on this, but I believe it's supposed to hurt only briefly. I don't think this is right. I think the part where all you're feeling is pain is the cue that this isn't right.
I wonder if Luna will come down to Ponyville to use healing magic to ensure that you don't end up with insensitive scar tissue in your vagina if you ask really nicely?
Just because nopony talks about failing at a basic biological function doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's just considered embarrassing.
Please don't tell me that in the weeks that have elapsed since Luna assigned your homework, it did not occur to you to learn a birth control spell. You're smarter and more organized than that.
You're definitely going over your quota for inducing amused annoyance. Who do you think you are, Rarity?
The worst thing is, I like this story, from an objective standpoint. I just don't enjoy it, subjectively speaking. And that is really annoying.
What a gentlestallion. Good on ya, Braeburn.
3314332
It's just a shame that the mare he was so nice to only slept with him so she could get into the bed of a goddess.
Great story so far, sad that I have to quit reading so I can get some sleep. Readin a story after midnight can really drain you in the morning.
God I'm tired.
ah the mind of a recently made non-virgin
such a wonderful, blissful place
Braeburn is a God among Stallions. Leave it to an Apple to be the very best kind of man.