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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dude. I can't tell you enough how amazing this story is. Bravo Sir.
probably the best sex/shipping story I have read
"WOW…that was ridiculous!" never thought I'd here that in a clopfic!
I'm getting closer to the end, and I'm still not completely sure what lies ahead! You, sir/ma'am, are a paragon. A prodigy. I bow down and submit to your amazing epicness. ALL HAIL!
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ALL HAIL!
you know what comes into my mind now?
cheerilee is like the 3rd oldest pony in ponyville - and twi is the youngest of the mane 6. this is a lil bit... derp'd?
Woah there nelly!
You're nearly heading into obscene territory there...
Smoking hot obscenity that is.
But I sense that there is something...
Some thing is not right, not where it should be...
I guess I should read onward and find out.
Man, after reading Fine wine, I can't re-read this chapter without that nostalgic sadness, Y U SUCH GOOD WRITER?!
Screw Pinkie Pie. Now Cheerlie is best earth pony.
“Hello, everypony. My name is Cheerilee and I am a closet nerd.”
kpopchan.com/gmu/src/13131135875.jpg
Well, I was hoping to read another chapter, but im dead tired.
Back to trying to read one chapter a night.
I laughed for far too long. The absurdity of what I was reading was just too much.
In a good way, of course. Wonderful, hilarious story so far.
"Spike always cracks joke about it." -
Daaayuuummm Cheerilee, you're insatiable! I see Twilight's going to have to learn how to brew up mana potions.
dam, kinda wished twilight could go for another round!
"
This is perfect.
It is. It really, really is.
"
Why do I feel like you're building for something horrible, here?
No, no, I shouldn't think that of you. You would never do that to us, right?
Right?
Another chapter down. Can say I don't recall this scene having as much nice female arousal description, but that's just great Can say it could have been a bit more "horny" though. While I find the terms used rather "smooth" and romance like, it could've been a bit more "I'm horny" touch to it. Oh, and as said, like the increased sensitivity EP thing, even if it as well as the UP and PP conflicts with logic a bit.
And second thing I recall is how odd I found the "magical penetration" scene (and not mainly because the whole "horngasm" thing, but it is in there.) but because of the "I'm going to have sex with a mare now, could you have sex with me like you were a stallion?" which in hindsight seems rather odd way to go on about it. I can understand it from a "it's all she know's" perspective, but that still rules out oral, which would be unisex. Anyhow, just saying it's a tad bit weird. Even if I find the concept rather neat. Would think she'd more be excited to try out new things, like giving a mare oral or scissoring or whatnot, but I guess it can be explained character wise or such, somehow. It's just a bit like a bi male characters first time with a female, and first thing he'd go for would be giving anal and taking a strap-on? Erh, trailing off again, my bad :P I know it's already written ages ago and such, but just speaking my mind after I've had some time to contemplate. It does cause a really neat mental pondering for Twi later, (and technically somewhat "out of setting" stereotype) but as said, might could have been used later instead, then again, I know what a pain it can be to write, but still haha. (in either case, Cheerilee is rather confirmed for having above average vaginal sensitivity, if I recall and note correctly. Dunno if this was done before or after the anatomy education, if we ever had that one, I can't remember heh. The screaming is also a "rare" thing heh)
Also, nice to see you put the pink in the vagina, not the vulva. Where it should be (although, the part where she calls Cheerilee pink feels a bit... odd, she's more purplish). Pinkie on the other hoof is pink enough to have a pink package xP Oh, and then there's the whole "god" thing, where it technically should be "goddess", but that's also one of those things. (like "fingers", mentioned in telekinesis) And while her magical grasp is never really described in size, would personally have found it neat with a "a little smaller?", but as said, no real size was indicated, so it could have been a bit small. Despite size not mattering much in theory... that, and it's fun to clench around xP
Pancakes for breakfast? ah america, where pancakes for dessert isn't weird.
"I don't love you, I only like you!"
"Okay! Let's go to my house and have sex!"
"Okay!"
I started reading this story. At first I was all like then I was alldl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowderp_flip.png but then I was all dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png until luna was all dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png which made me go dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Soarin_dayum.png but I just keep reading and wind up like
Okay, so... at this point I want you to have somepony explain what the deal is with Big Macintosh and Applejack's parents' deaths, and then work through whatever issues that brings up, and then just stop. Happy ending achieved.
I particularly enjoyed the bit about the comfortable silence- two people doing separate things but just feeling better about it because they're together. I never understood that part of relationships until I had it, and it is awesome.
As someone who has never had a relationship before, I instantly fell in love with the whole Cheerilight idea. It just seems so.......... Perfect. Although, like I said before, I'm stil a huge fan of
arrr i curse thy for crafting an magnificent piece of writing started at 8PM its now 2AM i need sleep but there are more chapters
43947 ALL HAIL!!!!!
You ended a clop scene despite the fact that you had more material to go off of. And it was good.
The climax (sigh, yes pun intended) had already come in that part. But the story made sense with more sex. But you didn't just write more clop. You inserted lines that made the story keep its flow. And in that, my good sir, you have officially made this the work of an Author. Not merely a good story, but a story written by an Author who knows how to make a story flow. Bravo.
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i understand you so much
I would be studying for a test and here I am
Man that was probably the hottest sex I've ever read Twilight having.
But dammit if it wasn't writing so damn good that I'll try toconvince myself I didn't get turned on by it.
That said: I think it went to over the top. I mean, maybe it's cause I'm not the kind of guy that fucks on the first date, but I find it odd that they would have sex this soon. Rarity, I understand. Braeburn, I understand. Rainbow: eeh, i don't know.
But Cheerilee? The one she went to after Luna unceremoniously dumped her? I see it becoming more lustful than actually romantic. And the next chapter, kind of proves that.
You know what? I'm reading this again after all this time has passed... And it's still one of the best shipping fics out there. I applaud you, Sleepless. You magnificent bastard you :)
I have to say. I am very, very, very much liking this story..... Like a lot.
1933157awesome profile pic, and its curse thee, not thy.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/054/9/6/blarity___nigel_thornberry_and_rarity__mlp__by_kotakotakota-d4qqazc.png
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Oh my, that exactly what I thought of when I read that line. You made my day by posting up that picture.
This chapter was pretty darn awesome, but, all good things must come to an end. But how will it come to an end? I'll just keep reading to find out.
Was Spike warned that you might be out all night?
Why are you cheating on it with Cheerilee, then?
They're quite the uncivilized brutes.
How is this a 22-chapter story? She likes her, she likes her, they're together; can you really get another eight-and-whatever-fraction chapters out of this?
Yeah, well, that was just sex. Writing is much more personal. You can tell because the phrase "one-night stand" exists, whereas there is no phrase for sharing an unfinished story with a stranger.
. . . Kind of casts a strange light on writing essays for English class, though.
Divine intervention.
National heroes don't stay on the market for long. And you're young, attractive, and smart. You're a catch well worth bragging about.
You had sex last night, for pony's sake. You can scrub her back.
Did you remember to lock the door?
Are you sure you do actually have any interest in mares? Maybe you're just attracted to the idea of dating a national hero.
Don't be silly. That's too long, and not Latin enough. "Instanti Sexum Confusionem" is the proper name.
She got the awesome sex she was looking for, and now she's getting out before you get even more attached. You didn't think she actually liked you, did you?
Yeah, I'm definitely getting tired of suspending my disbelief about all the amazing sex that seems to keep going on.
I don't belong here, remember? I don't need to play by the unwritten rules.
Oh man, I like where this ends.
Watching Twilight now grow into her own as a sexual being is pretty great. The gender identity stuff was surprising, and also great. And there was something else I was going to comment on, but I kind of forgot what it was because this is some of the best pony sex I've ever read, and I'm not a person who reads pony sex to enjoy it.
This is the calm before the storm, innit?
i would just like to state that every time i think this story is coming to an end there is yet another chapter god dam it there have be numerous time this story could of ended and i would have been satisfide but it just keeps going not that that is a bad thing i enjoy a story that goes beyond the first encounter and thats it, its refreshing and yes this story is amazing even though its not a favorite shipping pair of mine
Go Twilight! Get dat Cheerilee booty! :Derpface:
Question is... What happens when Luna comes back into frame?
...'Cause we all know that's going to happen at some point...
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...Does that make us readers voyeurs? That's kinda trippy.
I find it particularly telling of your style that you chose to "end the night" here. If we would look at this story as though it were a mere clopfic, none would think different had you continue to write out the night. Since you didn't, there has to be a reason why. All of the sexy scenes so far served a purpose. For instance, the scene in this chapter was needed as a writeup, or lead, to the deep intimacy of Twilight and Cheerilee. After their mutual confession of seriousness it would seem only natural for the two to continue to make sweet, sweet love. However, writing this out would not lead to a point. We can fill in the blanks. The previous sexy scene was superb, if i might say so. The next scene probably wouldn't have been as impressive. Leaving it for our imagination was the best call, i recon'.
The end of this chapter was well rounded. Kudos. I do feel, as does Twilight, at peace at the end of the chapter. No considerable or urgent conflicts have been neglected. The story could, hypothetically, end here. Im both glad and weary it doesnt. The first is easy to explain: more chapters = more better. However, since no conflict is left open ended, new ones need to be introduced. I fear of Luna.
To the next chapter!
~stjonal
1677224 what was thou thinking?
Absolutly perfect!
Silly Twilight. Maybe next time you'll use a spell to keep all the noise from leaking out of your room.
Poor Twilight can't keep up with that Earth pony stamina.
Wonder how Big Mac would feel to know that Twilight Sparkle fucks better than him
Or maybe Cheerliee is so drunk on afterglow she can't even remember.