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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Eager for more,
Twilight writing Fanfiction or reading it huh
I need moar
For a second I thought this was another story but then I was like oh! Great chapter dude! Keep it up! Oh and first! Can't wait for some more "edgier" scenes if you know what I mean
Well, that was pretty chilling.
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Thanks for catching that - there's lots of stuff like that kicking around. I've got a re-done version in the works that addresses this, and many other issues. Coming soon!
Not to say you shouldn't leave more comments when you find stuff - everyone should. I've been correcting stuff pointed out in comments, even if I haven't responded to all of them. I'll be taking one last run through the comments to make sure I got everything pretty soon, so get them in there!
When the kid Got decapitated... this was all I could do
This was amazing, great way to do "Twilight is reading" in an interesting and exciting way.
Great way of mixing styles too. And I do wonder how Celestia will react to the book!
483537
Same here, I switched back to the last chapter to see if it ended way different than I remembered.
The imagery of Celestia and Nightmare Moon fighting, wielding so much magic that they take on literal forms of their aspects. Fire against Void. Beautiful.
If I could write worth a damn I'd steal the idea.
Oh god this was fantastic.
I have to ask, what is the point of these alternate additions? From your blog it sounds like there will only be one more chapter. I feel this is starting to turn into another story arc all in itself. Too much potential to be wasted on three hypothetical "what it's."
Do you regret the "canon" ending? Are you going to rewrite the whole thing to include this? Keep it going for a bit longer? If so, I think I prefer the original ending. Too many sad fics floating around these days.
As always excellent writing.
That was a thing of beauty. Thanks for these alt-chapters, they're astoundingly good.
At first I thought you updated the wrong story, then I figured someone was dreaming, then I realized Twilight was reading.
You know... You could make a pretty damn good re-enactment of those events as a fic on its own with those scenes. =3
This was very impressive. A great change of pace, and a clear indicator of your range. I loved it!
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What's the point? There were plot bunnies in my head. I felt like writing them. That's about it, really.
I also prefer the original ending, by the way, and the sequel will branch off from there. This new stuff is just for fun.
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Alright then thanks for replying.
Honestly I thought you had some kind of glorious master plan that would ensnare your readers into another emotional masterpiece.
But just for fun is cool too!
Never stop writing you, you're one of the best.
...Wow, that was rather intense.
Now this is different, eh?
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Thanks. Took me a while to remember the scene but as soon as I did, I burst out laughing
I didn't see this as Romance Reports, not without the brief interludes and ending with Twilight reading it. This really felt like its own story, and it's one kick-ass story.
I can just see Tia's face when she reads what Twi is reading
Damnit I wanna hear the rest of the story!!! I feel like Rainbow when she was kicked out of the hospital
Very well done, this is my first FanFiction story and I am in awe. I love these more mature characters, even though i'm no furry. Very nice job, the characters were so believable I couldn't stop reading and looking forward to see if there's any more coming up. Of the two alternative endings, I have to say i love Twilight and Cheerilee together as a couple. Very well done, bravo sir.
517716 You might have some marret if this story wasn't a clop about pastel colored ponies. You want my advice? Read real fiction books. Copying and pasting trashy romance cliches does not make a good story. And the point of my alternative idea was to keep in the spirit of the show, but since this story is so far from the original source, it might as well feature "original characters."
I understand with taking creative liberties, but when you have to break the characters to fit your "story" better and just make up shit that holds no baring to the source, you might as well just write a story with that's has nothing to do with the show (but then, no one would read it, right?).
I like MLP, but it's basically a little girls' series. I don't get why people try to make it deeper than it is. It doesn't work.
521546
Rarity was referring to the whole Sonic Rainboom incident.
536501 derp. Also great story, on Climax
Sooooo goooood! I used to think Twinkie-pie was the best ship. Then I discovered TwiLuna. Now, I can see just how plausible CheeriLight could be. They really are meant for each other. A teacher and a professional student? That's like... peas and carrots (please excuse the Gump-ism). And now I find you're making a sequel to the original ending? ::swoons:: (they need to make a Rarity :swoon: emoticon) Your writing is very professional, your characterizations are spot on, even Fluttershy, whom writers seem to not know what to do with. I eagerly await your next story/chapter/whatever.
By the way,, excellent job on the bait-and-switch :P
This is unbelievably good. I don't know how you did it, but somehow you turned fan fiction written about a show made for small girls into an absolute masterpiece, a work of art. You seamlessly wove engaging sex scenes with a meaningful plot, realistic characterizations, and most impressively, used the story to explore what relationships and love really means. The use of the present tense is absolutely excellent, and the way the story plays out is both believable and satisfying (something that isn't easy to do even for professional writers). Overall, I've never seen a more excellent fan fiction on any site in any canon, and this even surpasses the vast majority of actual novels I've read.
Bravo, and it would make my life to see another story of this magnitude from you.
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Responses? Why, yes, I think I might!
a. This was written back before season two, so yeah. Got me there. I love what the show did with Luna when she did finally come back, though. I've tried to do her a bit more justice in the alt ending.
b. I had similar thoughts, but I decided to lean towards the theme stuff instead. But I definitely see your point. Although I never thought to give a section over to her perspective - the Rainbow Dash flashback was supposed to be the only break from Twilight's point of view. The lack of her around was partially because Cheerilee, being a background character, doesn't have a ton of characterization, and I was treading lightly at first.
Typography: Haha, yes, the dialogue grammar is brutal to read, isn't it? I actually have a fixed and edited version in the works, coming soon. I can hardly stand reading the old version now. I'm sticking with present tense, though - I know it creeps out some people, but it is my most beloved crutch.
Glad you liked it, though. Thanks for the critique.
565427
Gah, forgive me. It must seem a bit pointless for me to comment on your story's relation to Season 2's Luna when it was written in advance of it. I keep forgetting to check dates! Still, even scratching that point, I think there's some merit to the critique; your Luna is explicitly *very* old; most stories in the fanon seem to put the Royals at a couple thousand at best. I'm just not certain that a millionogenarian character who's loved and lost and loved again and kept "harems" (as noted later) and identifies herself as being a goddess of at least *some* kind of interpersonal relationship (even though she self-consciously self-identifies as "sex" to Celly's "love") would have gone all Nightmare Moon a thousand years ago at having her night be rejected by mortals. And it's fine if you want to go off on your own with that but we as fan-readers need to be primed when the backstory differs. On a related note, in re: treading lightly, if you're going to be making a personality for someone who doesn't have one, I think it behooves (pun unintentional) you to be courageous and just jump right in with both feet. That way, at least your own story will have a strong and consistent voice. Anyway, yes, a basically good story; thanks for writing and sharing.
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Not pointless at all, it's good to hear it. When I was writing Luna - and let me qualify this immediately by just saying this is just one of my head canons, and I'm not saying it's the word and the law or anything - I didn't see a conflict between the idea of her as old and jaded, but also desperate to be loved and accepted. She would deny it, of course, and probably did, right up until the day she snapped and went all NMM. But it's still there - when she got angry in the chapter "Climax", I was never sure myself how much of that was real and how much wasn't. She strikes me, even now, as a character that used to arrogantly demand love and adoration, expecting it as her royal due. When it didn't come her way, well... how dare those foolish mortals? Who do they think they are? Existing in her sister's shadow, seeing how easily she was worshiped, definitely didn't help. That was what I was going for, anyway.
I see your point, though, even if I don't totally agree. One of the reasons I'm writing the alt ending was that scene with Luna and Twilight talking - pulling back the veil she wore in the rest of RR, seeing her with her guard down a bit. All that desperate need to be loved as much as her sister comes out, usually hidden behind haughty, icy airs of aloofness. It was something I wanted to include in RR but couldn't really think of a way to do it well at the time. But then Nightmare Night happened and it really came together in my head, and I had to do it.
I gave up on giving her a total overhaul when I went back to touch up RR - it was just too big a task, and I'm not really all that unsatisfied with RR as it is. But I'd like to do an unrelated TwiLuna story sometime in the future, probably with a more canon Luna. If I ever get around to it.
Oh yes, and Cheerilee. I think it goes without saying that I did end up just diving in with both feet. Maybe you're right that I should've done so earlier. I don't know, I like it how it is but I have been wrong before.
Anyway, thanks for calling me out. Definitely things I'll keep in mind moving forward.
I still have to re-read RR hehe xP
But anyhow as for the alternate ending, I am liking it so far. Has some interesting parts to it.
Can just add a thing. When it comes to cropses: For all I know, it takes quite a while for a body to go cold... perhaps much faster if the blood inside is removed, but still. Like ex: About any food with a "layer" and "insides", it takes several minutes for it to go cold, sometimes long. Likewise a body.
And I personally see Resurrection magic/rituals and whatnot as a possibility. Just random headcanon xP It's at least more likely than necromany, demonology and all the other commonly occurring schools in the fandom Always find the "It shouldn't be that easy" or whatnot as an amusing excuse, no-one said it'd be easy. Plus, Celestia is a goddess, I really facehoof in a fic where someone got stabbed moderately, and the wound was "beyond her ability". While any unicorn found this evil book of evil could raise a undead horde within minutes of study of it's content. Erh, anyhow, trailed off a bit heh. But yeah, while I see it as a possility, it do require more skilled writing than "and then they all died, the end." to evoke emotion.
Oh cool, I'm the 1000th like. Awesome. This story is great.
its good...
Quite the bloody ordeal.
Oh my god.
And to think I just left a comment on the previous chapter talking about how on edge I was.
That was an incredible read. Not only was I on the edge of my seat, I actually had to close my laptop and set it down once just because it got too intense and I needed to cool off. I mean, Jesus, man that was crazy. Even before the fighting started, it was just... so intense. You are a very skilled writer sir! I'll certainly be following you and reading anything else you have to offer, regardless of my interests or pairing preferences.
Absolutely astonishing read. You must write this sort of thing more often!
Gilda x Rainbow Dash - all the way
Wow, now that was an intense little chapter. I don't know why, but I figured that something bad as hell was going to happen to Skyblaze. I don't know why, but when that happened I felt a bit of moisture at the edge of my eyes. It always pains me to read stuff like that, even though I enjoy reading it.
The battle between the two sisters in this story is just like the one in this song. [youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yGEf_YxBxZI]
Any one else see it?
I'm going to rewrite " The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny " to be about the epic fight of the two princesses.
Give it a minute, I'm sure it'll trickle through your sleepy brain.
Ah, is this where we are.
But to whom?
Poor kid. I hope that enough records survive what is to come that they can identify him.
Though there shall be many to fall before morning comes, he shall be the first of the battle.
The world has never in its life owned a different. And it never will.
I'm disappointed in your slander.
The stupid questions we ask when surprised . . .
And what would you have had yourself do? The very goddesses do battle. There is naught to do but stay out of it or die.
What's so civil about war, anyway?
I'm guessing this is nonfiction that Twi is reading? An unpleasant time, to be sure. Nasty, brutish, and hopefully short.
And I cannot help but think of The Immortal Game. For surely, many of NMM's forces fight out of fear, not conviction. And for that, they deserve mercy. Yet that mercy cannot be delivered.
Death is significant; killing is even more so.