There are 100 billion stars in the Milky Way, and humanity is determined to explore every one. We send probes, probes with the blueprints to reproduce human explorers upon arrival. Uninhabited worlds the galaxy over can be colonized and populated, until after many years they too can join the vast throng of interstellar civilization. But if a probe is very, very lucky, it will land on a populated world instead. Equestria is one such world.

Even so, it's far from perfect for colonization, not with an environment lethal to human life. But each probe is resourceful and armed with the greatest machine intelligence mankind has devised. If placing a human mind into a newly manufactured human body won't work, it will just have to get a little more creative.

This book has a Hardcover! If you want to pick it up, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

This story was written at the behest of Canary In The Coal Mine, who is sponsoring it on my Patreon. As usual, cover by Zutcha. Editing by Two Bit and Sparktail.

Fantastic prereading help from: Chyre, Danger Noodle, Doctor Disco, and Doggyshakespeare (who also did the Esperanto translation). Thank you all for helping to make this story more readable and more consistent for everyone.

[Third Person]

Commissioned by Canary In The Coal Mine.

After losing his last living relative, Carter Arvil, former CIA Agent turned real estate agent, is approached by a mysterious woman who offers to sell him a magical kingdom. Assuming the woman is simply a little unstable and selling a magical pony styled theme park aimed at little girls, Carter accepts the deal. A deal which immediately takes a turn for the unexpected as the offer was exactly what it said on the tin and comes with several major strings attached.

Like having to be a pretty pink pony princess.

Cover art by https://egophiliac.deviantart.com/

Featured for a frankly astounding amount of time!

Pinkie has one month to throw a party that's out of this world. Which is exactly where she'll receive the training she needs.

Can she brave the trials of artistic integrity, heavy rainfall, an actual literal gun, and thinking too hard about why she went to Equestria in the first place?

Written as an entry for Aragon's Comedy (is Serious Business) contest.

Prereading and editing were done very graciously by Oroboro and Pearple Prose. Cover art by Lia Aqila.

Story is complete and will be updated daily!

UPDATE: Placed fourth in the contest!

Featured by the Royal Canterlot Library!

All know the story of the pirate ship, the Crimson Heart and her cursed captain, a monster forced to haunt the seven seas until the end of time. All know to steer clear of the blood red sails, lest they run into hell itself.

Few know of Neptune's Blessing, a magical item that can grant whoever holds it anything their heart desires.

Twilight Sparkle knows both tales are not fiction. Though the last place she thought she'd ever be is on the Crimson Heart looking for Neptune's Throne where the wish awaits.

Sunset Shimmer lives a nightmare every day. She's ready to shed her monstrous form, and Twilight is going to help her one way or another.

But they aren't the only ones after Neptune's Blessing. The high-speed race across the seas begins as every flag seeks to claim the wish for themselves, and be crowned King of the Seas.

Pre-read by first mate, DrakeyC!

Cover art created by the super talented iojknmiojknm!

Now featured on Equestria Daily

After what Sunset had done she never expected anyone to forgive her, but there was always someone willing to give her a second chance and accept her for what she was. Even before Twilight's friends bothered with her, there was one girl who Sunset could always rely on to be there.

The war has gone on for far too long. To end it, Celestia just has to sign the treaty.

Go read the comments. They're way more interesting than the story itself.

Now with an audio version
Now translated into Russian and with an audio version.

A month or so after the Battle of the Bands, Principal Celestia calls Sunset Shimmer and friends to her office, for a long-overdue discussion.

Edited and smoothed over with help from the ever-patient Little Jackie Papercut.

How do you kill a pegasus's soul? Put her in charge of the town's weather, then only let her schedule sunny days and gentle evening showers. Not thunderstorms, not blizzards, certainly not hail or tornadoes.

Nothing fun, in other words. Celestia forbid the weather team make some real weather, the kind Rainbow Dash dreams about. The farmers would never stand for that.

Well, screw the farmers. Screw the fashionistas and screw the library princess too if she complains. Rainbow Dash has a dream and she's going to share it with the world, whether the world wants it or not.

A story dedicated to anyone who's ever been passionate about something.

Sir Rainbow Dash wants answers about her origins. Magus Twilight Sparkle, the “Witch of the Evening”, is trying to solve a murder.
As their paths cross towards a common goal, they begin unraveling ancient secrets. And certain events get set in motion that only a select few could foresee.

Life can be challenging for humans born in Equestria, but it's especially tough for a human raised by ponies. Rainbow Dash overcame every obstacle life had thrown at her to become a hero of Equestria, the Element of Loyalty and make five of the best friends ever. Life couldn't be better, or could it? When she saves the life of an orphaned filly named Scootaloo she realizes she may have more than just awesomeness to offer others.

(Thanks to my great friend Steve for the editing and feedback on this story.)

(Cover art by the very talented Captainpudgemuffin and used with his kind permission. This picture was the inspiration for the story.)

Featured on Equestria Daily 12/29/16! Equestia Daily-Under Her Wing