• Member Since 29th May, 2012

Hay Omelette


Comrade Pinkie is always right.

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There are certain responsibilities which come with being a Princess, and Twilight's still learning about most of them. She's slowly adjusting to meeting diplomats, attending ceremonies, and hosting functions. However, being on the receiving end of the scheduled, contractually-obligated kidnapping came as something of a surprise. And she really doesn't understand why she's supposed to cooperate with it.

Her kidnapper's starting to become a little frustrated.



(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (5)
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My roommate's name is Octavia, or "Tavi" for short. She likes vintage red wine, soft pillows, and long walks on the beach. But, more than anything, she loves music. She loves it with a passion that radiates with every burning color of the spectrum.

Each day I spend with her... or without her, I learn a little bit more about life, about the sick beat to which we all dance, whether we know it or not. I hope you don't mind if I say a few things about her. Just a few things. One can learn a lot from Tavi.

After all, she saved my life.


Cover Art by Eztp

Playlist - Because Even Original Things Aren't Original

Chapters (200)
T

Wanted: Porter, assistant, jack-of-all-trades, minion. Applicants should be strong, loyal, pain tolerant, cold tolerant, unambitious. Must be capable of following simple instructions. Ideal applicant should be of low to average intelligence and mildly deformed, but exceptions will be made for extraordinary candidates, with extraordinariness to be determined by employer. Must be willing to begin work immediately.

Remuneration will be in the form of room, board, and insight into the true nature of the cosmos. Extremely generous bonuses up to and including subcontinents may be awarded if merited and if circumstances permit. Interviews for the position to be conducted at 108 Haybale lane at 10:00 AM sharp on 4/7. Applicants are expected to be punctual.

—The Dark Lord Sassaflash

Editing and indispensable writer-prodding by The Masked Ferret

Chapters (22)
E

Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns is the center of magical research in Equestria. Since Apple Bloom developed a love of potion making and an interest in the theory behind magic, she recognizes what an honor it would be to study there. But that would also mean being the only non-unicorn student to ever attend, leaving her friends and family, and moving to a strange city... and that's if she can pass an entrance exam designed to select the most magically gifted unicorns.

Spike has never wanted more than to be Twilight's number one assistant. But when Twilight points out that there's a pony right in front of him who needs an experienced assistant even more than she does, it means considering a life where he's making the most of his talents... but one without Twilight by his side.

For both of them, facing hard decisions are just part of growing up.

Second place winner for the April Writeoff Association prompt "Great Expectations."

Chapters (3)
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Ant Mill is a college student, stuck in a dead-end internship she took just to fulfill her requirements. All she does is doodle and wish she was somewhere else, but when she has a chance encounter with the Princess of Friendship herself, she gains a new perspective.

Written for the Title Drop writeoff event. Edited by the illustrious Cold in Gardez.

Now with a reading by Dr. Wolf!

Chapters (1)
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Scootaloo will do anything to be like her idol and mentor, Rainbow Dash. Her conviction is put to the test when, one day, Rainbow Dash shows Scootaloo something that can take her training to the next level. It's something Rainbow Dash has been using for a long time for that extra edge. It's something grown-up ponies don't talk about, except to tell the youngsters to avoid.

Will the young filly stick to what her parents and teachers had taught her and stay clean — or will she follow in the hoofsteps of her surrogate big sister?

Cover image by OTfor2.

Chapters (1)
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Brief stories about Equestria as it might have been—or, you may suspect in darker hours, already is.

25. Necessary Evil: Lord Tirek will return to wreak havoc on Equestria... but not before he's needed.

24. Queen of Foals (Fausticorn):
I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—"Four vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies alone..."

23. The Mechanical Donkey (Cranky Doodle alt-universe): A colt working for the school paper uncovers an old donkey's secret.

22. The Element of Audacity (Twilight, Dash, Cthulhu): It would take a very brave, very stupid pony to defy the Eater.

21. The Gentle People (dark): The gryphon tribe that tried to follow a pony goddess.

20. It's a Trap! And Twilight knows it. But her opponent knows that she knows it. But she knows that Twilight knows that she knows that Twilight knows it...

19. Fraud!: Trixie is accused of cheating at cards.

18. Celerity: Rarity wonders what Celestia sees in her.

17. Worth It: Fluttershy teaches Twilight about the cost of love.

16. Self Image (Twilight, Rarity): Is beauty really only skin deep?

15. The Quiet One (Luna): Some ponies express emotions differently.

14. Special: Discord teaches Pound Cake an important lesson.

13. Twenty-one! (Pinkie Pie, Twilight; comedy, horror?): Twilight discovers the danger of asking Pinkie "why?"

12. Changeling Dream: You may think the cost of living on emotions is too high. But we know the cost.

11. Loyalty (Rainbow, Applejack): The job of an Element of Harmony is simple, and sometimes impossible.

10. [revoked]

9. Sombra's Curse (comedy): The terrible curse Sombra unleashed that made him king, and stole his soul!

8. Game of Immortals (Celestia, Discord; dark comedy): Celestia likes to win—no matter which side she plays.

7. The Pony Side (comedy): Darth Vader has more important things to share with Luke than who his father is.

6. No Regrets (sad): Looking back on her life, Twilight remembers how she treated Derpy, and faces some unpleasant truths about herself.

5. Shipping Costs (comedy): If you knew you were about to meet Celestia in the next life, you might ask yourself: Did you leave the world a better place? Did your friends know you loved them? Should you have written thirty-nine chapters of Celestia clop-fiction?

4. The Green Hills of Equestria (tragedy): Vincent's big-game hunting trip was a success ... almost.

3. Mare of the Rings (Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash; comedy, LotR): The greatest could not be trusted with the Ring. So Gandalf sought out the humblest. Maybe too humble....

2. Happy Thoughts (horror): Her sun, happy to be in its place in the sky, wrapped the land in its warm embrace, and flowers bloomed in her hoofprints. Celestia smiled. It was going to be another perfect day in Equestria. And all she had to do was think happy thoughts. Again.

1. The Pony: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I clicked weak and weary,
Thru many a vile and bilious image on slash-b of yore...

Original cover art by ModeratelyDeviant@DeviantArt

Chapters (21)
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Twilight Sparkle has been living a lie. Everypony told her what a beautiful and accomplished mare she was. Everypony thought she was a responsible adult. They were wrong. She was still just a filly trying to stumble her way through life.

Chapters (1)
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A couple of (hopefully) silly and/or touching stories set around or after the events of Rainbow Rocks.

Adventures of the Royal Equestrian Courier Service
How Sunset's letter-book came to lie on top of Twilight's cart, and how it was not even nearly lost to highway robbery. Featuring the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Music in our Hearts
During a break in band practice, Sunset Shimmer is asked how she learnt to play the guitar.

Chapters (3)
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Rainbow Dash asks her friends what they might want carved on their tombstones. Her friends tell her.

Based on the August 2014 prompt from The Writeoff Association, "Famous Last Words."

Chapters (1)