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  • E Awaken, Scootaloo

    When Scootaloo loses hope, Princess Luna is there to help her learn to dream again.
    6,531 words · 4,820 views  ·  613  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Silent Tyrant

    Encased in stone, Discord observes the events around him and reflects on his life
    3,163 words · 6,750 views  ·  670  ·  7
  • E Apple Ninjas and Other Vital Concerns

    Big Mac shows Apple Bloom that the farm can be a blast, even when her friends are all busy for the day.
    3,725 words · 1,389 views  ·  170  ·  0
  • E Checkmates

    After finding a chess set in the library's storage closet, Twilight is eager to play a few games and turns to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Teaching the two most competitive ponies in Ponyville a new game should be a snap, right? RIGHT?!
    3,673 words · 6,299 views  ·  463  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Pliant Tyrant

    When Fluttershy finds out that Discord used to keep a mental diary while imprisoned in stone, she begs him to continue it. Grudgingly, he promises to document his thoughts about his new life among old enemies
    16,437 words · 8,138 views  ·  825  ·  14
  • T Cheerilee's Thousand

    Cheerilee goes on one thousand terrible dates.
    76,083 words · 5,241 views  ·  662  ·  11
  • E The Carrot Dog Fight

    Spike just wants to eat his delicious carrot dog, but Manehattan's birds have other ideas.
    3,570 words · 1,073 views  ·  104  ·  1
  • E Easy As Pie

    In which Pinkie Pie battles a rogue kitchen.
    7,385 words · 4,551 views  ·  240  ·  6

Blog Posts447

  • Wednesday
    Shut Up, Brain!

    It's really annoying when you have what should be a passing idea that becomes a permanent, insistent idea. I was talking with Steel Resolve the other day, and he was lamenting the dearth of Fluttershy/Rarity romance stories. Mostly joking, I told him that I'm going to write him one some day, and that it would suck, but I'd write it for him all the same.

    Strange thing is, I can't quit thinking about it!

    Now let's break down why this is ridiculous:

    1)  I don't have any freakin' time.  Seriously, I just semi-retired because I can't get three seconds together to write.

    2)  Fluttershy is not a favorite of mine.  I don't particularly care for writing her.

    3)  I've tried to write romance several times. It's never really come together, besides what I write with Steel.  I'm going to have to give him most of the credit on that one.

    4)  Every idea that I have for it is miserably sad.

    All of this points to it being a horrible idea, but my mind is fixated on it for some reason. I should probably just bang out a chapter so that I can look at it and say, "Oh, yeah. That's bad. Let's throw that in a drawer where no one will see it again."

    But it's something about challenge. I have all these great ideas that I think people will like and that I know I'll enjoy writing, but they aren't as challenging as writing a miserable romance about a character that I don't like in a genre that is my weakest. So my interest is all piqued. It crowds out all the thoughts that I need, and I find my imagination playing out scenes of a story I don't want to be working on.

    Why, brain? Why?!


    8 comments · 54 views
  • 1w, 11h
    It's My Cheeri-versary!

    26 comments · 127 views
  • 1w, 3d
    Story Recommendation #3

    Wow.  It's been a long time since I've read a story that I liked well enough to recommend.  Yeesh.

    So let's discuss Spring is Dumb by HoofbitingActionOverload.  As is the case with these things, I'm going to try to avoid spoilers, but what is below this might contain them.  Consider yourself warned!  Warned, I say!

    This is a romantic comedy, and romance really isn't my genre.  I like the idea of it, but I find most stories to be generally overwrought, and no category has more offenders in that department than romance.  And that's precisely what makes this story nice.  The romance in it felt very natural to me.

    Less natural was the comedy. Now don't get me wrong. This story is funny enough to get a couple of actual laughs out of me. I almost never actually laugh out loud. It's more of a mental registry that something is, indeed, funny. My mind makes a little mental checkmark, but it doesn't usually translate into a smile or a chuckle. This story did a time or two, and for that, I applaud it.

    However, that didn't stop it from feeling like it was clubbing me on the head with the premise from time to time. There is a certain repetition that is going on in the story for comedic effect, but there is a fine line between 'still funny' and 'getting old.' Toward the middle of the story, I was starting to get pretty tired of the schtick, but the great thing is that the story also mostly does away with it at that point, too.  Not quite quickly enough for me, but I'm prickly and easily irritated, so for most readers, it will probably be right in the sweet spot.

    One thing that I really liked here is that this is a comedy with romantic elements, and that really lets the romance at the end have greater impact. It sets up the conclusion well, then delivers because you're ready for that change of pace. I think the instinct on it was good.

    Occasionally, the narrative voicing falls off track, but it's a rare problem.  Once or twice, HBAO has Rainbow think things that are humorous, but not really something that Rainbow would think. Then he kind of has Rainbow point that out to herself, but that's a false joke in my book. You can't have someone think about how they'd never actually think like that. But like I said, it's a nit-pick, not a recurrent thing.

    I was left wondering why it was divided up into two chapters. I didn't see the need to break up the flow.

    In the end, I found myself really enjoying this one. It's not perfect, but who knows more about Not Perfect fics than me? Eh? Eh?!

    No one, that's who.

    But the comedy hit its marks quite a bit of the time, and the romance was heartwarming. That seems like a win in my book.

    2 comments · 55 views
  • 2w, 9h
    So BABSCon...

    I know it's kind of a ways off, but I was curious to know who among you are planning to go to BABSCon. I'm not very confident about the fanfic side of things this year, so I figure if we want to represent, we will probably need to get on top of things.

    Are any of you planning on trying to host a panel of some sort? Do people want to meet up in a hotel room like we did last year? Should we get a group together and go get some food? Should we stage a coup and storm the main stage, taking the Goldies for ourselves?

    It's kind of a strange thing, these cons.  Everyone is always waiting for everyone else to get on top of things. I figured I'd try and get the ball rolling. We have a lot of creative, interesting people with informed opinions. It'd be a shame if we couldn't get some great panels out of all that experience.

    18 comments · 82 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Do You Like Melodic EDM?

    Well, if you do, why not check out statoose's bandcamp page, and see if his new track is up your alley. At a single dollar, that's quite affordable for three tracks totaling over eighteen minutes.

    For those of you who don't know him, statoose is a great guy who's helped me with quite a few of my stories. He's particularly good at picking out sentences that don't work well within the context of the paragraph that contain them, and he's helped me shine up many a lackluster phrasing. There's not much I can usually do but say thanks, but this is my chance! My opportunity to make a small dent in the imbalance of our karmic scales.

    However, I wouldn't do it if I didn't also like the end product. Melodic trance/Uplifting Progressive House isn't my usual EDM choice, but this is well done, in my opinion. I could certainly mix this into a set for my more melodic friends, and I'm sure they'd love it.

    So if it's your bag, swing on over and give it a listen. Free streaming, so what do you have to lose?

    0 comments · 38 views
  • ...

Ever since the disastrous show in Ponyville, Trixie has found she has few job offers and even fewer friends.  Swallowing her pride, she's forced to take the only job she can find as a field hand on Humble Pie's rock farm.  Unfortunately for her, Pinkie's father is... odd.  Very odd.

First Published
3rd Apr 2013
Last Modified
12th Dec 2013

Hoss Angeles

I'm kinda hoping that this whole thing turns out to be an epic deadpan prank. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Well Humble Pie wouldn't be a Pie if he wasn't a bit touched in the head.

Always felt Trixie got the shafted in the MLP universe. She really didn't do anything wrong in the first episode.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Humble is best pony, yes.  :pinkiehappy:

>>2366454:twilightblush:  A pun hasn't reached it's full power until it is agonizingly bad.

>>2366729  That's what I wanted for Humble.  I wanted to make him every bit as insane as Pinkie, but with all the fun removed.

I'm of two minds with Trixie in that first episode.  She's not technically doing anything wrong, but she's breaking social laws of etiquette.  She's much more rude than she needs to be, and is lying about her background.  I don't think she needed to have her life ruined, but she did need to be taken down a peg.  I think the fault generally lies in the second episode.  In giving her the 'You Ruined My Life' story, they made her punishment from the first episode much greater than it probably should have been.

>>2367139  Humble is the most fun pony I've ever written, hands down.


What social rules did she break? She's a performer who was heckled.

As for overstated her abilities. Again part of the performance. It's not her fault that Snips and Snails are idiots who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Calling her a liar is like calling Sigmund and Roy liars.

Comment posted by Seether00 deleted at 3:10pm on the 3rd of April, 2013

>>2368049  It's going to be a matter of opinion, but I think Trixie is going out of her way in the first episode to start a fight.  Once she has achieved it, she works to humiliate, rather than just to best.  

The thing here is that it plays on what is important to people and illustrates why social justice is generally not the same as legal justice.  We can all agree that theft is generally wrong, but we can't agree on when a lie crosses the line.  Lots of people will see building your career off of a lie to be totally unacceptable (Milli Vanilli) whereas other people see it as show business, and what does it matter if you are getting the show you came for.  I can see it both ways.  I wouldn't really care about the Ursa Minor stuff if it wasn't for Trixie's general cruelty in defeating Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity.  Even that is a grey area for me, as she is a showpony, but I do think that people have a responsibility in society to be decent.  I think Trixie is over that line as soon as she hog ties Applejack and stuffs an apple into her mouth.

By the way, folks, I didn't delete that comment.  I never delete comments.  Just putting that out there.  :pinkiecrazy:

So it begins! :pinkiehappy:  (Love Hoss Angeles, by the way.)

I noticed a couple small errors, which I shall point out:

“They are probably back in Ponyville!” Dotted Line, growled.

Misplaced comma.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant to duel her or not, doll!”  Dotted Line grabbed Trixie chin and forced her head up, nailing her to her seat with his piercing gaze.

Missing a possesive.

The ball hit the wheel and it began twitching.    Trixie’s eyes watered as it wrenched her hoof painfully as it tried to roll away.

There's a huge quadruple space between these sentences.

Other than that, I greatly look forward to reading more!

>>2368436 Oh, man.  Thanks for pointing this stuff out.  I'm so bad about it.  I'll get in there and fix it pronto!  :pinkiehappy:

Emerging from the darkness, she could see rows and rows of tiny, four-poster beds no wider than her hooves.

“These are the bed rocks,” Humble murmured to her from behind a hoof.

H'oh my god. :rainbowlaugh:

“Now, just go slow, but not too slow.  Moderately slow to sub-fast-ish, I’d say.”

Lulz. I'm enjoying this story. :pinkiehappy:

>>2368665  I'm glad!  :pinkiehappy:  This is by far the most ridiculous thing I've written.  :pinkiecrazy:

Oh man. This guy. :rainbowlaugh:

I understand this mare now. Where she gets it. :pinkiehappy:

>>2371015  Man, I'm so happy to hear that!  :pinkiehappy:  That was my number one goal with this story.  I wanted to make a character that could explain Pinkie's upbringing yet reconcile her outlook on life in relation to that upbringing.  Thanks so much for reading this.  I'll have a new chapter up soon.  Probably next Tuesday.

Cute so far! Was hoping to see a little of Pinkie's sisters, but I can see it working this way too.

>>2371992  I've been back and forth over whether to put any of the rest of the family in, but their absence is really the motivation for the story.  I might bring them in at the end.  I haven't fully decided.

Thanks for reading this!  It's a labor of love, so it's great that other people are interested in reading it.  :pinkiehappy:


I suppose I'm worried that the premise might run out of steam with just Mr. Pie and Trixie as the only characters. It can work, mind you, but there'd need to be some kind of dynamic between the two of them beyond Trixie's humiliation and Mr. Pie's off-kilter stoicism.

Honestly, the reason I initially read it was to see what kind of personality you gave the sisters (as we know nothing about them in the show), but I found the idea that Mr. Pie might or might not be insane pretty charming.

>>2375912  I don't want to give too much away, but their relationship will evolve.  I certainly hope that you will like the places I'm planning on taking the story, but I assure you it won't all be just her arrogance versus his stoic insanity.

Looks entertaining. Added to Twilight's Library.

>>2377961  Thanks for reading it!  :twilightsmile:

#24 · 84w, 2d ago · 4 · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Madness! Pure madness!

>>2411896  I'm trying to walk that fine line of funny-insane, not just random-insane.    Hopefully I'm succeeding.  :twilightoops:  


What do you mean by 'might be insane' ?

Here on the farm, we shoot for about three hours a night.  It keeps dreams to a manageable minimum.
Okay, now I know he's just trolling. Ditch that wacko and get the hell out of there, Trixie!

Well, you already know I like it, but I wouldn't mind throwing my vote in to the 'hey, maybe the sisters will show up' camp too, hehe. :pinkiehappy:

My secret theory is that Humble's so fit because of his shady past as an escort before he settled down to being a, uh, respectable rock farmer.  Either that or too much head injury during his professional boxing career. :rainbowwild:

>>2412542  Humble?  Troll?!  Never!  He's the salt of the earth.  Well, the rock salt of the earth...  :pinkiecrazy:

>>2412697  I've gone back and forth on the sisters, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of Trixie being there.  I suppose they could just drop by, but honestly, I don't hear their voices the way I heard Humble's when I started this.  However, I haven't given them a lot of thought.  Maybe if I concentrated, I could hear them.

And Humble?  An escort?  Are you saying he's probably hung like a, erm, horse?  :moustache:

>>2412965 Badum-tcsch! :rainbowlaugh:

Well, I like it either way, and you da author. :twilightblush:

I hope your ready for some company, Humble.  When I get back with the cops, you’re going from the rock farm to the funny farm.


She been up for less than an hour and she was already getting a headache.

Missing a word here.

Another highly amusing chapter. Humble Pie's logic is surprisingly sound. :rainbowlaugh:

>>2416287  Crap!  Thanks for the edits.  I write too damn fast.  Actually, what really happens is that I spend too much time tinkering. I work a sentence back and forth three or four times and then the possessives and things get jacked up as I've erased and re-written them a whole bunch of times.  With how many people catch for me, it's a wonder anyone thinks I do any self editing at all!  :twilightoops:

>>2416300 Well, I'd never try to impose, but if you need an editor, I've got lots of time. :twilightsheepish:

So much madness. No wonder Trixie went crazy and went after the alicorn amulet. I wonder if Trixie will murder the Pies before leaving the farm.

Trixie has great points. Today, I showed this fic to Rocky. I'm Rocky's coach. It hardened Rocky's resolve before the race. Usually, he just gets stoned. Was about to hold up a store when I stopped him at the door, and offered to help reach the path Trixie describes. Rocky would be in the stoney lonesome if it weren't for a bit of motivation. Good writing.

Every time I think Humble can't get better, he does.

>>2457669  I think I can definitely say...maybe.

>>2457713  It's all been worth it knowing your rock trainee has found the inspiration from this story to go the extra mile.  Your rock time investment is 100% Humble Pie approved!  

>>2458080  Why, thank you!  It will be interesting to see what people think of the next chapter.  It gets into some interesting territory.  :trixieshiftleft:

I like to imagine Clyde/Humble Pie lost his damn mind in the war or he can really communicate with the rocks. :rainbowlaugh:

>>2462260  Thanks for reading this!  That reaction is perfect to me.  Either he's insane or he's legit.  The world waits to find out which it is...

:twilightsmile:Your story is fun. I'm always looking for a good Trixie tale:trixieshiftright: I will finally know why Trixie does not trust wheels:yay: It's been on my mind since the magic duel:derpytongue2:

>>2611269  Thanks for reading this and for your kind words!  I'm a few chapters from completing this, but my life has been super crazy lately.  Hopefully, I'll have a new chapter up in a week or two when things calm down.

This story has been reviewed by the Equestrian Critics Society

Title: Taking a Job for Granite


Reviewed by: Quillbit Marelor

The Great and Powerful Trixie is, without a doubt, one of the most popular side characters on the show, which eventually earned her another appearance in season three, making her the first antagonist to have a follow up episode. Though there is some controversy over her portrayal in her debut episode, that still hasn’t kept the fans from loving her. Despite her somewhat pompous attitude and rude demeanor, she still has that charisma that all entertainers should possess. In xjuggernaughtx’s story, Taking a Job for Granite, a reader will become quickly immersed in a tale full of Trixie goodness and an onslaught of hilarious, creative events.

Full Review

Score: 9.8/10

>>2625197  Wow!  Thanks for the great review!  I'm thrilled that you liked it so much!  :pinkiehappy:

I sure do love this story, ayuh. I can't wait to see more of it :pinkiehappy:

>>2626211  Thanks so much for reading it!  I should have a new chapter up pretty soon.  I'm nearly done writing the rough draft.  :twilightsmile:

#49 · 78w, 1d ago · 5 · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Wow, loved the way you portraited Tom. Such presence. Such charisma. Such insightfull thoughts!

Your storytelling rocks (uh-Oh) , keep going.

>>2626331  You would not believe the booking fee for Tom!  That's why I had to keep the scene so short.  His agent wants a ridiculous fee.

I'm very happy you are enjoying this.  I'm hoping to have a new chapter out in a week or two.  The first draft is nearly done.

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