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  • E Awaken, Scootaloo

    When Scootaloo loses hope, Princess Luna is there to help her learn to dream again.
    6,531 words · 4,619 views  ·  597  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Silent Tyrant

    Encased in stone, Discord observes the events around him and reflects on his life
    3,162 words · 6,636 views  ·  661  ·  7
  • E Apple Ninjas and Other Vital Concerns

    Big Mac shows Apple Bloom that the farm can be a blast, even when her friends are all busy for the day.
    3,725 words · 1,276 views  ·  170  ·  0
  • E Checkmates

    After finding a chess set in the library's storage closet, Twilight is eager to play a few games and turns to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Teaching the two most competitive ponies in Ponyville a new game should be a snap, right? RIGHT?!
    3,673 words · 6,216 views  ·  461  ·  5
  • E Diary of a Pliant Tyrant

    When Fluttershy finds out that Discord used to keep a mental diary while imprisoned in stone, she begs him to continue it. Grudgingly, he promises to document his thoughts about his new life among old enemies
    16,437 words · 8,025 views  ·  821  ·  13
  • E Cheerilee's Thousand

    Cheerilee goes on one thousand terrible dates.
    70,161 words · 5,005 views  ·  627  ·  9
  • E A Door Jam

    Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy end up on an adventure when Pinkie develops a strange obsession with Sugarcube Corner's back door.
    10,904 words · 3,972 views  ·  262  ·  6
  • E Easy As Pie

    In which Pinkie Pie battles a rogue kitchen.
    7,385 words · 4,490 views  ·  234  ·  5

Blog Posts439

  • Saturday
    Update and Errata

    So the new story is coming right along.  It's about a third of the way through an editing pass, and so far only one or two major things have come up.  I have gotten from just about everyone that it's pretty dark, though, and that's disheartening.  The Dark tag is the kiss of death, in my opinion, but I don't want to lie to readers.  If it's dark, then it is.  I'll just have to live with that lower view rate.

    This is the hardest time for me as an author.  I love writing.  I love publishing.  I really, really hate editing.  You take this thing that you think is really great and give it to other people, who then tell you why it's not so great.  I find it to be demoralizing.  And then I get angry at myself for being childish, but it's a process.  I get feedback, then I enter into a small depression for a couple of days.  After that, I'll use the feedback to hopefully make the story better.  It's always helped in the past.  My stories have always come out better and stronger, yet I sit here and feel down about the whole thing for a few days.  That drives me up the wall.  I hope to one day be past that.

    I got the art back for the story, and I'm fairly pleased with it.  The artist screwed a few minor details up, but it's still pretty nice.

    Also, I'm not sure why I'm a sucker for stories with ridiculous sounding premises, but I am in the worst sense of that word.  I always look at these stories and think, "Wow, that sounds shallow/unworkable/like a terrible idea. There's no way an author would do that unless he or she had some way to really make that work in a way that's fresh and original."  It never is.

    Not true!  Skywriter's Shipping Sickness is a great example of a stupid premise that was awesomely done, but it's the rare exception, it seems.  This is probably news to no one but me.

    4 comments · 59 views
  • 1w, 2d
    Cute

    3 comments · 91 views
  • 1w, 2d
    The Tsunami

    Gah! So much to do! I have too many stories to write!

    I've just finished one, and I'm staring down the barrel of at least ten more. I don't know where they all came from. Luckily, I'm feeling pretty energized. I really like how my new story came out, and that will probably evaporate once my editor gets back to me with a thousand items, but for now, I'm feelin' fine. I'm already thinking about a sequel to that story, but we'll see how it's received first. I love it, so it'll probably fall flat on its face.

    I'm still struggling to find art, but I sent out some new requests that I've got high hopes for. The story won't be ready for public consumption for probably another month or so anyway, so I've got some time.

    But the next order of business is definitely going to be updating Cheerilee's Thousand and Taking a Job for Granite. I've sat on that stuff for too long while I worked on this new Big Mac story and First Steps. Then we will see about some collabs people have been asking for.

    And speaking of collabs, The Album 2 is seriously lagging. My Pinkie Pie chapter will never be seen! This is where I'd put the bawling Rarity emoticon, but we don't have it in the blogs, I guess.

    And how about this snazzy update? I'm liking it overall, though I'm still struggling to understand some of the choices. I can't see the lifetime performance of my story anymore? Just a monthly breakdown?  Uh, okay...

    8 comments · 74 views
  • 1w, 6d
    New Story Rough Is Done

    Ah, that 'Just finished a story' afterglow.  There's nothing quite like it.

    So I've finished my story about Big Mac being a boxer, and boy did it go off in a direction I didn't anticipate at the beginning.  I'm pretty pleased with it, though.  I had a good time writing it.  For the next few days, I'll probably be doing some editing, but does anyone want to pre-read it?  I'm always interested in hearing opinions on how a story is coming together.

    Now if I could just get the art settled.  WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO GET ARTISTS TO RESPOND?!  I've never understood this about artists.  I tried for several years to get comic books together, and I'd meet with these artist who were totally on board.  Then they'd suddenly disappear. Six months later I get an email apologizing and telling me that they'd still like to work on the thing if it's still available.  Then they disappear again.  It's so frustrating. I'm trying to give them money to do the thing they like to do! Why is this such a complicated arrangement?

    Sigh.  Well, I'm going to contact another artist tomorrow, probably.

    0 comments · 42 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Sisyphus Triumphs (Kinda long and self indulgent)

    So a little over two years ago, I was in the full-on throes of brony madness.  My wife and I watched the show constantly, and I could never get enough pony.  The characters ran through my mind all the time, and I needed something to do with them.  It was in this time that I had this strong mental image of the girls on a door, sliding down a snowy mountain, and then looking disgruntled as they stood on it while traveling down a river.

    This was how A Door Jam was born, though I didn't use any of the scenes I'd originally thought of.  The 'door down the mountain' thing did end up as a chapter of Cheerilee's Thousand, though.

    I'd never written anything really, but I loved these characters, and I wanted more.  The idea of them with this door for some reason just kept coming back to me.  So I spent a quite a few hours writing it up, and you know what?  By the end, I was really liking it.  I was proud of my little story, and even more proud when I uploaded it here and it made quite a little splash for someone that no one had ever heard of.  

    Obviously, I was a savant, and the masses needed more.  A Door Jam was EQD bound.

    But a funny thing happened on the way to the community hub.  My story got rejected.  It was a really interesting wake up call to get that response saying, "Uh, nice little story, but you could learn a lot about story-telling, not to mention grammar."  I mean, they didn't say it like that, but that was the thrust of it.

    One strike for me, and I'm afraid I'll have to admit that I was pissed off.  I mean, just look at the response my story had received!  It was great.  Nuts to those guys!  I'd spiff up my story and resubmit.  No way were they going to defeat me!  It became my number one goal to have that story on EQD.

    Strike two, and I started sweating.  Maybe I wasn't quite the savant I thought I was.  Plus, I'd released Out of Fashion to almost no response.  Yikes.  So I really started boning up at that point.  I started reading grammar textbooks and asking for help.  I backburnered A Door Jam so that I could work on my skills.

    Fast forward about a year, and I'd had something like three stories on EQD.  I was really getting this writing thing, and I thought it might be about time to accomplish my number one goal.  I went back to the drawing board and completely re-wrote A Door Jam, taking it from six thousand words to ten thousand, adding description, eliminating telling, revamping dialogue.  It got a massive tune-up, and I loved the hell out of it.

    And no third strike!  It wasn't accepted, but it was sent back without a strike with a note to fix five things and it would be ship-shape.  I was over the moon!  I corrected those errors and resubmitted.

    Third strike.  The reviewer basically hated the story and pointed out several errors no one else had caught.  Now my story was done and I'd never achieve my number one goal.

    I was super mad.  I can't even express how angry I was about this.  I was pissed off at that review, but I was even more angry at myself.  I'd wasted two strikes when I was very inexperienced, and I hadn't caught these typos before I'd sent it back for the all-important third chance.  I'd failed, and I had a large portion of that to deal with.  Not all of it.  I still feel like I was screwed somewhat in that exchange, but there's no denying that it was my job to make sure the story was square before I sent it in, and I didn't do that.

    So I swallowed it, vowing to use that angry and sadness as a tool for motivation and learning.  It was still a pretty good story, even if EQD didn't accept it, and I'd learned a lot writing it.  I closed the book on it and wrote about Trixie and Discord.

    Then, one fine day, everything changed.

    EQD decided to get rid of the strikes.  Stories could be resubmitted until they passes, and all permanently rejected stories were given new life.  I could still achieve my dream, and I got back to work.

    Strike four.

    This was actually a good thing.  I got a response back full of "Hey, here are a bunch of typos, oh,  and you might want to think about these particular problems.  They are systemic in your writing."  This was great for me.  I got to view the story in a whole new light, and thus, all of my stories.  This is why I like working with a multitude of different editors.  I learn a little something new from each one.  This time, it was about my overuse of participle phrases and my tendency to shift needlessly into multiple character perspectives to the detriment of the story.  

    So I got to work again, and that's what I've been doing for the past few weeks.  Going over A Door Jam over and over and over.

    I sent it back in yesterday.  Today, it was accepted.

    I can't properly express how delighted I am.  I mean, you can probably see by the length of this post what it means to me, but I thought I'd never have a chance at getting my story up there, and somehow it happened, and it happened because I worked incredibly hard at it.  I happened because I had a lot of help from a lot of really great people, and if you are reading this, chances are you were part of that learning process in some way.  I've had a tremendous amount of support from all of you, and I'd like to personally thank everything who has taken the time to help me learn or to give me feedback.  It's the most valuable thing we have on this site.

    EQD is not the place it once was.  My stories there rarely get thousands of views the way they once did.  A Door Jam probably won't really benefit all that much from being there.  But, to me, it means the world.  It means that I fought and fought and fought, and at the end, I actually won.  At the end of the day, the boulder reached the top of the mountain, and I can finally rest if I so choose.

    I'm not sure where this leaves me as an author here.  I have no plans for quitting, but I don't really have that many goals left.  I've always been a goal-oriented person, and it's hard for me to just write for the joy of it.  I really do like it, but I'm generally doing it because I want to achieve something.  Maybe it's time to really re-evaluate that stance and learn to just create for the fun of creation.  Is that a new goal?  Probably.

    28 comments · 135 views
  • ...
 220
 2,145

Ever since the disastrous show in Ponyville, Trixie has found she has few job offers and even fewer friends.  Swallowing her pride, she's forced to take the only job she can find as a field hand on Humble Pie's rock farm.  Unfortunately for her, Pinkie's father is... odd.  Very odd.


First Published
3rd Apr 2013
Last Modified
12th Dec 2013
#1 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Hitting Rock Bottom ·

Hoss Angeles
:facehoof:

#2 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

I'm kinda hoping that this whole thing turns out to be an epic deadpan prank. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

#3 · 80w, 5d ago · 1 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

Well Humble Pie wouldn't be a Pie if he wasn't a bit touched in the head.

Always felt Trixie got the shafted in the MLP universe. She really didn't do anything wrong in the first episode.

#4 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Humble is best pony, yes.  :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2366454:twilightblush:  A pun hasn't reached it's full power until it is agonizingly bad.

#6 · 80w, 5d ago · 1 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2366729  That's what I wanted for Humble.  I wanted to make him every bit as insane as Pinkie, but with all the fun removed.

I'm of two minds with Trixie in that first episode.  She's not technically doing anything wrong, but she's breaking social laws of etiquette.  She's much more rude than she needs to be, and is lying about her background.  I don't think she needed to have her life ruined, but she did need to be taken down a peg.  I think the fault generally lies in the second episode.  In giving her the 'You Ruined My Life' story, they made her punishment from the first episode much greater than it probably should have been.

#7 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2367139  Humble is the most fun pony I've ever written, hands down.

#8 · 80w, 5d ago · 3 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2368025

What social rules did she break? She's a performer who was heckled.

As for overstated her abilities. Again part of the performance. It's not her fault that Snips and Snails are idiots who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Calling her a liar is like calling Sigmund and Roy liars.

Comment posted by Seether00 deleted at 3:10pm on the 3rd of April, 2013
#10 · 80w, 5d ago · 2 · 1 · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2368049  It's going to be a matter of opinion, but I think Trixie is going out of her way in the first episode to start a fight.  Once she has achieved it, she works to humiliate, rather than just to best.  

The thing here is that it plays on what is important to people and illustrates why social justice is generally not the same as legal justice.  We can all agree that theft is generally wrong, but we can't agree on when a lie crosses the line.  Lots of people will see building your career off of a lie to be totally unacceptable (Milli Vanilli) whereas other people see it as show business, and what does it matter if you are getting the show you came for.  I can see it both ways.  I wouldn't really care about the Ursa Minor stuff if it wasn't for Trixie's general cruelty in defeating Applejack, Rainbow, and Rarity.  Even that is a grey area for me, as she is a showpony, but I do think that people have a responsibility in society to be decent.  I think Trixie is over that line as soon as she hog ties Applejack and stuffs an apple into her mouth.

#11 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

By the way, folks, I didn't delete that comment.  I never delete comments.  Just putting that out there.  :pinkiecrazy:

#12 · 80w, 5d ago · 1 · · Hitting Rock Bottom ·

So it begins! :pinkiehappy:  (Love Hoss Angeles, by the way.)

I noticed a couple small errors, which I shall point out:

“They are probably back in Ponyville!” Dotted Line, growled.

Misplaced comma.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant to duel her or not, doll!”  Dotted Line grabbed Trixie chin and forced her head up, nailing her to her seat with his piercing gaze.

Missing a possesive.

The ball hit the wheel and it began twitching.    Trixie’s eyes watered as it wrenched her hoof painfully as it tried to roll away.

There's a huge quadruple space between these sentences.

Other than that, I greatly look forward to reading more!

#13 · 80w, 5d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2368436 Oh, man.  Thanks for pointing this stuff out.  I'm so bad about it.  I'll get in there and fix it pronto!  :pinkiehappy:

#14 · 80w, 4d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

Emerging from the darkness, she could see rows and rows of tiny, four-poster beds no wider than her hooves.

“These are the bed rocks,” Humble murmured to her from behind a hoof.

H'oh my god. :rainbowlaugh:

“Now, just go slow, but not too slow.  Moderately slow to sub-fast-ish, I’d say.”

Lulz. I'm enjoying this story. :pinkiehappy:

#15 · 80w, 4d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2368665  I'm glad!  :pinkiehappy:  This is by far the most ridiculous thing I've written.  :pinkiecrazy:

#16 · 80w, 4d ago · 5 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

Oh man. This guy. :rainbowlaugh:

I understand this mare now. Where she gets it. :pinkiehappy:

#17 · 80w, 4d ago · 1 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2371015  Man, I'm so happy to hear that!  :pinkiehappy:  That was my number one goal with this story.  I wanted to make a character that could explain Pinkie's upbringing yet reconcile her outlook on life in relation to that upbringing.  Thanks so much for reading this.  I'll have a new chapter up soon.  Probably next Tuesday.

#18 · 80w, 4d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

Cute so far! Was hoping to see a little of Pinkie's sisters, but I can see it working this way too.

#19 · 80w, 4d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2371992  I've been back and forth over whether to put any of the rest of the family in, but their absence is really the motivation for the story.  I might bring them in at the end.  I haven't fully decided.

Thanks for reading this!  It's a labor of love, so it's great that other people are interested in reading it.  :pinkiehappy:

#20 · 80w, 3d ago · 1 · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2373224

I suppose I'm worried that the premise might run out of steam with just Mr. Pie and Trixie as the only characters. It can work, mind you, but there'd need to be some kind of dynamic between the two of them beyond Trixie's humiliation and Mr. Pie's off-kilter stoicism.

Honestly, the reason I initially read it was to see what kind of personality you gave the sisters (as we know nothing about them in the show), but I found the idea that Mr. Pie might or might not be insane pretty charming.

#21 · 80w, 3d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2375912  I don't want to give too much away, but their relationship will evolve.  I certainly hope that you will like the places I'm planning on taking the story, but I assure you it won't all be just her arrogance versus his stoic insanity.

#22 · 80w, 3d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

Looks entertaining. Added to Twilight's Library.

#23 · 80w, 2d ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

>>2377961  Thanks for reading it!  :twilightsmile:

#24 · 79w, 3d ago · 4 · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Madness! Pure madness!

#25 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2411896  I'm trying to walk that fine line of funny-insane, not just random-insane.    Hopefully I'm succeeding.  :twilightoops:  

#26 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2375912

What do you mean by 'might be insane' ?

#27 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Here on the farm, we shoot for about three hours a night.  It keeps dreams to a manageable minimum.
Okay, now I know he's just trolling. Ditch that wacko and get the hell out of there, Trixie!

#28 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Well, you already know I like it, but I wouldn't mind throwing my vote in to the 'hey, maybe the sisters will show up' camp too, hehe. :pinkiehappy:

My secret theory is that Humble's so fit because of his shady past as an escort before he settled down to being a, uh, respectable rock farmer.  Either that or too much head injury during his professional boxing career. :rainbowwild:

#29 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2412542  Humble?  Troll?!  Never!  He's the salt of the earth.  Well, the rock salt of the earth...  :pinkiecrazy:

#30 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2412697  I've gone back and forth on the sisters, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of Trixie being there.  I suppose they could just drop by, but honestly, I don't hear their voices the way I heard Humble's when I started this.  However, I haven't given them a lot of thought.  Maybe if I concentrated, I could hear them.

And Humble?  An escort?  Are you saying he's probably hung like a, erm, horse?  :moustache:

#31 · 79w, 3d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2412965 Badum-tcsch! :rainbowlaugh:

Well, I like it either way, and you da author. :twilightblush:

#32 · 79w, 2d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

I hope your ready for some company, Humble.  When I get back with the cops, you’re going from the rock farm to the funny farm.

Whoops.

She been up for less than an hour and she was already getting a headache.

Missing a word here.

Another highly amusing chapter. Humble Pie's logic is surprisingly sound. :rainbowlaugh:

#33 · 79w, 2d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2416287  Crap!  Thanks for the edits.  I write too damn fast.  Actually, what really happens is that I spend too much time tinkering. I work a sentence back and forth three or four times and then the possessives and things get jacked up as I've erased and re-written them a whole bunch of times.  With how many people catch for me, it's a wonder anyone thinks I do any self editing at all!  :twilightoops:

#34 · 79w, 2d ago · · · Rock Hard Abs ·

>>2416300 Well, I'd never try to impose, but if you need an editor, I've got lots of time. :twilightsheepish:

#35 · 78w, 1d ago · 5 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

So much madness. No wonder Trixie went crazy and went after the alicorn amulet. I wonder if Trixie will murder the Pies before leaving the farm.

#36 · 78w, 1d ago · 3 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

Trixie has great points. Today, I showed this fic to Rocky. I'm Rocky's coach. It hardened Rocky's resolve before the race. Usually, he just gets stoned. Was about to hold up a store when I stopped him at the door, and offered to help reach the path Trixie describes. Rocky would be in the stoney lonesome if it weren't for a bit of motivation. Good writing.

#37 · 78w, 1d ago · 5 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

Every time I think Humble can't get better, he does.

#38 · 78w, 1d ago · 1 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2457669  I think I can definitely say...maybe.

#39 · 78w, 1d ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2457713  It's all been worth it knowing your rock trainee has found the inspiration from this story to go the extra mile.  Your rock time investment is 100% Humble Pie approved!  

#40 · 78w, 1d ago · 1 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2458080  Why, thank you!  It will be interesting to see what people think of the next chapter.  It gets into some interesting territory.  :trixieshiftleft:

#41 · 78w, 20h ago · · · Sleeping Like a Rock ·

I like to imagine Clyde/Humble Pie lost his damn mind in the war or he can really communicate with the rocks. :rainbowlaugh:

#42 · 78w, 20h ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2462260  Thanks for reading this!  That reaction is perfect to me.  Either he's insane or he's legit.  The world waits to find out which it is...

#43 · 73w, 5d ago · 2 · · Hitting Rock Bottom ·

:twilightsmile:Your story is fun. I'm always looking for a good Trixie tale:trixieshiftright: I will finally know why Trixie does not trust wheels:yay: It's been on my mind since the magic duel:derpytongue2:

#44 · 73w, 5d ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2611269  Thanks for reading this and for your kind words!  I'm a few chapters from completing this, but my life has been super crazy lately.  Hopefully, I'll have a new chapter up in a week or two when things calm down.

#45 · 73w, 2d ago · 2 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

This story has been reviewed by the Equestrian Critics Society

Title: Taking a Job for Granite

Author:xjuggernaughtx

Reviewed by: Quillbit Marelor

The Great and Powerful Trixie is, without a doubt, one of the most popular side characters on the show, which eventually earned her another appearance in season three, making her the first antagonist to have a follow up episode. Though there is some controversy over her portrayal in her debut episode, that still hasn’t kept the fans from loving her. Despite her somewhat pompous attitude and rude demeanor, she still has that charisma that all entertainers should possess. In xjuggernaughtx’s story, Taking a Job for Granite, a reader will become quickly immersed in a tale full of Trixie goodness and an onslaught of hilarious, creative events.

Full Review

Score: 9.8/10

#46 · 73w, 2d ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2625197  Wow!  Thanks for the great review!  I'm thrilled that you liked it so much!  :pinkiehappy:

#47 · 73w, 2d ago · 1 · · School of Hard Rocks ·

I sure do love this story, ayuh. I can't wait to see more of it :pinkiehappy:

#48 · 73w, 2d ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2626211  Thanks so much for reading it!  I should have a new chapter up pretty soon.  I'm nearly done writing the rough draft.  :twilightsmile:

#49 · 73w, 2d ago · 5 · · Rock Hard Abs ·

Wow, loved the way you portraited Tom. Such presence. Such charisma. Such insightfull thoughts!

Your storytelling rocks (uh-Oh) , keep going.

#50 · 73w, 2d ago · · · School of Hard Rocks ·

>>2626331  You would not believe the booking fee for Tom!  That's why I had to keep the scene so short.  His agent wants a ridiculous fee.

I'm very happy you are enjoying this.  I'm hoping to have a new chapter out in a week or two.  The first draft is nearly done.

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