• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

FanOfMostEverything


Forget not that I am a derp.

E

A chill in the air. Snow on the ground. A glow of tenderness and togetherness in ponies’ hearts. All signs of the season.

Trixie reading everything she can get her hooves on? That seems more like a sign of the apocalypse.

Written for AndwhatIseeisme for Jinglemas 2022.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 40 )

Trixie goes big or doesn't do it at all.

Trixie is such a fascinating character. She's the wildcard of the show, able to switch from antagonist, to hero, to lovable dummy, to wise mentor, all in the space of a single scene. And she sells it with gusto!

My favorite part was the scene with Cadence. There's a lot of key character points being addressed.

This was cute and also a bit telling of Trixie's past (both worlds). She's wronged a lot of people in her life and now it's coming to bite her when she wants to do something for someone else for a change. Perhaps a few more years of being a councilor will finally give her the (good) attention she craves.

Thanks for sharing!

"what exactly did you think the term ‘lifetime ban’ meant?”

"It's good to see the kids are still keeping the traditions alive."

That was a lovely story, thank you for it. Trixie may be a glorious dumpster fire of a pony but that dumpster fire burns with the power of love.

Apropos of nothing but Trixie, it was not until after the show ended that I realized that her VA, Kathleen Barr, also voices Chrysalis. Great and powerful indeed.

This also made me take another look at Point of No Return, which I hadn't watched in years. Not only does it have a Starswirl the Bearded plushie, it also has Twilight quoting "Abandon all hope ye who enter here", which means Equestria has an equivalent to the Divine Comedy and that is an entire unexplored universe unto itself.

.Maybe Trixie might be willing to ask Twilight for help with this little legal matter.

Just what was Trixie accused of to get herself banned from the Canterlot Archive?

Thanks for sharing this great.

Wow, thank you so much for the lovely Jinglemas gift. This was a really great read, I absolutely adored Trixie's characterization, and everypony else's as well. Just an absolute joy to read from beginning to end.

Expecting cram, got lembas.

The right route through the wrong aisles was said to lead beyond space, time, and the Dewdrop Decimal System; beyond lay a realm of innumerable books smelling faintly of bananas, where there still wasn’t enough shelf space.

Discworld references, because it's still you.

No idea how she learned how break a full nelson

She's had a thousand years to get bored and yours isn't the only portal mirror. :trollestia:

a signed permission slip from the headmare

Which Trixie could absolutely forge at this point if she needed to. Just saying that this doesn't really work as an excuse.

Cadence-knew-what.

Trixie turned to Princess Cadence, who hopefully knew what.

When your gods are so down-to-earth that it's not odd to meet them in a local fast food place, this is the sort of gag that becomes inevitable.

Cadence shrugged her wings. "I've never been able to explain it properly to another creature, not even changelings."

The only way replacing the bride at the Wedding makes any sense is if Celestia has changeling detection spells that give a false positive for that one pony. Risking the queen on that gambit is just said queen being an idiot, of course.

Possibly even her mother depending on one's fanon and taste for timey-wimey shenanigans.

If you handwave away the comics showing how they first met, you don't even have to invoke time travel. I know I've seen a fan-comic that uses it as a punchline after the "mare and colt" thing in the wedding.

Beautifully written from start to finish.

Great work!

Really enjoyed this story, you're great at packing all sorts of fun details in just a few words; really great read.

EPIC!
Merry Belated Christmas! 🎄

inscrutable as the Pink One.

:rainbowlaugh:

Trixie remembered that this was the more who'd married

I think you mean 'mare'.

"You have this... strawberry luminescence to you, with warm, crunchy flashes in a major chord around the edges."

This immediately made me think of that cornflake-type cereal with the real strawberries in it. Which one was it? Special K?

All in all, awesome!

LOve the joke about shaking the book to try and make the text more readable.

I wonder how Trixie would react to Radiant Hope's explanation of how, "And that's why my Sombra has to fight back against the crystal ponies' persecution of him. And nobody tried to redeem him no matter how many times I brought him back from the dead. After you redeem Discord, they really have no excuse!"

Cadence smiled in a way that made Trixie immediately want to like and trust her. Trixie hated that

Trixie has issues.

the more who'd married Sparkle's brother,
the mare who'd married Sparkle's brother,

Another wing-shrug. "One that used to be a pegasus.
*BANG!* Now let's drag that little badly written piece of lore behind the shed shall we?

Nice return of the Namepending joke.
Trixie seems to have bad luck and bad karma following her. You think saving Equestria would have worked it off.

'Princess Amore.'"

Radiant Hope, "She kept Sombra's true birth heritage from him and she banished the original natives of this land into a dark prison."

"Good. He made me promise to stop after I almost leveled Sire's Hollow when I was seven."

BWAHAH!

The only books in the caravan were a ledger, a few cookbooks, last year's nationwide weather schedule, and a saddle-ripper in a hidden compartment that Trixie would deny owning to her dying breath.

I take it that saddle-ripper is pony term for a book with lewd content? :D

A for effort there Trixie.

C- for having a fully fleshed out plan.

That was fun.

11463912

Yeah, some use Bridle, others use Saddle. Interestingly, my first result for Saddle on a site-wide search literally got someone explaining.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/61802/8/foal-necromancer/i-see-youre-insane

“What's a Saddle-Ripper?” I ask dreading the question.

“Badly written romance stories that appeal to mares who pine for an impossibly perfect lover.” Sound-Practice says before anyone else can say a thing.

------

On this story, had to download it twice before I noticed the Romance tag, then spent the most time wondering who was the other party! Nice story!

So much worldbuilding by books! Black Powder's book reminds me of https://www.amazon.com/Ignition-informal-history-liquid-propellants/dp/0813507251 - Mainly because it's awesome?

11463945

Thanks, Malandy. :)

11463875

*BANG!* Now let's drag that little badly written piece of lore behind the shed shall we?

FoME tries to work as much of canon into his stories as possible even when he's writing an AU, so there's no chance of that.

11463912
It's a ponification of "bodice-ripper", which is somewhat more specific but ultimately not far off from your guess.

11463969
Every day I learn new English idioms/phrases, it seems. Thanks. :)

11463916 It's more planning than Trixie gives anything aside from a show program.

I was kinda on the fence at first, but that ending did it for me. :rainbowlaugh:

It takes a special balancing act to make Trixie as much of an egotistical alpha-bitch as she should be, and yet also make her an absolute marshmallow like this.

Her still not quite being okay with Twilight made me grin. Her getting her butt kicked at Canterlot High did more so. I don't think I've ever seen her interact with Cadance before, but that one definitely has potential as something to develop.

Absolutely delightful, adorable bit of fluff. You are as always a pleasure to read, FoME.

Great story. Also, I now want some empathy cocoa.

I am surprised that a story with this name is rated E. :trollestia:

Besides, the scorch marks added character and a lovely bit of nostalgia.

:pinkiehappy:

That was great. Thanks, FoME.

This was suitably adorable.

11463675
Trixie trying to cross burnt bridges was definitely one of the themes I was going for here. (Or, in the case of the first scene, actively incinerating one.) As with Twilight and the other Twilikes, Trixie is her own worst enemy, even when she isn't literally grappling with the consequences of her counterpart's actions. Of course, as far as Trixie is concerned, nopony else is worthy of the role. :trixieshiftright:

And yeah, exploring how she might interact with Cadence was a very fun exercise. I always enjoy putting two characters who barely spoke to each other in canon (if that) in the same room and seeing what happens. Glad you enjoyed this!

11463684

"It's good to see the kids are still keeping the traditions alive."

There is something to be said for making those who would get the most out of arcane lore do the most work to access it. Though most of that something is unprintable.

Equestria has an equivalent to the Divine Comedy and that is an entire unexplored universe unto itself.

Donkey Allegory was an earth stallion whose name was far less problematic when he was alive. He was also very imaginative, very vindictive, and never came within fifty miles of Tartarus for his entire life, just in case he got anything right.

11463688

Just what was Trixie accused of to get herself banned from the Canterlot Archive?

Consider how she's basically reading the wizardly answer to The Anarchist's Cookbook. And is Trixie.

11463728
Very glad to hear you enjoyed it! This is always a fun pairing to work with, especially when Trixie tries to express emotional vulnerability.

11463753
... Thank you? :rainbowhuh: I'm pretty sure elf bread compares favorably to centuries-old canned pork.

11463760

Discworld references, because it's still you.

Naturally. :derpytongue2:

She's had a thousand years to get bored and yours isn't the only portal mirror. :trollestia:

"By God, that's Celestia's music!"

Just saying that this doesn't really work as an excuse.

Even Trixie can see that forging Starlight's signature while making a present for her is a case of one step forward, two steps back.

11463801
Equestria is already full of little side details that make it feel like a world and not just the setting for a given story. I'm happy to contribute a few more.

11463875
Polite reminder that your headcanon does not apply to all of horsefiction.

11463916
As Kris noted, that's well above her average for forethought.

11463945
Black Powder's treatise was a few centuries too early for the Equestrian space program. It's possible that Trixie will be the one who writes the local equivalent of Ignition!.

11464273
Thanks for giving the story a fair shake all the way through. Glad it worked out in the end. :twilightsmile:

11464404
Writing Trixie is a very delicate balance of paper and tiger. She knows she's full of it. Many other ponies know she's full of it. But the real trick is convincing the world at large that she has some idea of what she's doing. Trixie's is the art of lying to reality and getting away with it. Sometimes she even manages the second part.

11466424
No, no, you're thinking of the sequel after Trixie gets thirty days in the Ponyville penitentiary and Starlight comes for a conjugal visit. Possibly bringing Sunburst depending on your headcanon. :raritywink:

11466440
Every bit of char tells a story, many of which were authored by Trixie.

11467640 Cram is also what they call Laketown/Esgaroth's waybread. In The Hobbit, it's described along the lines of, "the only entertainment it provides is as a chewing exercise." It's also mentioned the first time lembas comes up in Fellowship, on the departure from Lothlorien.

11464404 And this comment now has me contemplating writing a story in which Trixie is sent out by the others to deal with a pony-Karen.

Let the alpha-bitch follies commence. In the end there can be only one...

11467646
As Trixie would say, it was only a suggestion.

11467640
Donkey Allegory is way better than anything I could think of. But I suggest he should actually be a donkey, and given that Cranky also spent his life wandering and having remarkable experiences while searching for his lost love he might be a descendant.

The sweetness of this is almost tailor made for me, seeing as I feel the need to propose to my wife of several years at least a few times a month. It gets a fav just for that reason.

I just need you to know:

And the love of Trixie's life said, “Trixie, we’ve been married for two years.”

Is a great punchline. Great story. :rainbowlaugh:

“Trixie will have you know that she is a close, personal adversary of Princess Twilight, and she—”

I love lines like this, and Trixie is so good for them.

Whaitaminute...
TRIXIE HAS ACCESS TO THE MIRROR...?????
Oh, my Luna...

You mean to tell me, a Unicorn with questionable and extremely fluid understandings such as, "The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks that this should be okay..."

Has access to another world where EXPLOSIVES have been raised to the pinnicale of pyrotechnical arts...?????

Sovereign Twilight Sparkle, you have doomed two worlds. All that is left is for the "Mission Impossible" fuse to be lit on the Illudium QU-36 Explosive Space Modulator...

11505819
Trixie already sells back-alley fireworks in canon, just saying.

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