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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So far, this story is really playing out well, although I do wish Rayne had a bit more screen time and less fanservice, I definitely can understand it. Also the fact there is a lesbian couple I appreciate. Still hate Magnus and I think he's faking it. If he isn't... well then he deserves some respect for showing that. Also Fleetfoot, if your partner says stop you stop, don't continue. Also what is with the S lisp? It's put of character for her.. other than that, great chapter! It's one of, if not the best, chapters you ever done!
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Oh don't worry, Rayne will. This story has always been one to highlight the fan service and right now I'm just trying to make sure other characters get their due screentime as well. I don't want to disrespect them by calling these filler chapters because everything is either important or leads up to something else that is. But coming up soon the story that will be very heavy on Rayne's perspective soon so I'm just covering all the other characters view points now. Lastly, I was pretty sure at the time that I started this story that it's cannon that Fleetfoot has a lisp. And even if that's wrong, it's a part of my story and is just too cute for me to change now. Also I try to make it not so troublesome to read. With any chapter she's in I'll show off her lisp a bit in the beginning and then start cutting it back, trusting that the reader can carry her voice through on their own. If it bothers you then I'm sorry, but at least she's not a main character in my story.
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Thanks for the reply! Glad to see you addressed it. I'll keep a better eye out from now on then.