Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.5: The Comeback!

by trahzo

Ch.42:And Blood Brandy Thought I'd Really Leave These Girls Out!

"Next is...Garbledina's Gang, and this is a sequel to the Garbledina chapter."

"Really?" Asked Trixie with no amusement.

"Yeah, I mean if the Prim Hemline chapter is a sequel to the Harshwhinny Chapter in another volume, and Deezutra's story is the sequel to the Pinkie Pie chapter in another previous chapter, Then R63 Spot & Fido are gonna become the sequel to the Spike x Rova story, and since the Fluffle Puff chapter in this volume is getting a sequel, why not?" Said Luna while making a jontron face.

"Wow, that is weird." Said Brak. "Begin now."

---

After what went down in the wrestling cave's bathroom, Garbledina wanted her friends to get a piece of Spike as well. So now, Spike's life in the castle, is a life with concubines. Though for Twilight, she thinks she can manipulate Spike's swag to gather an army of dragons, one day Twilight received a letter from Princess Celestia for a big week long meeting regarding something that includes the deliberation of all the leaders of Equestria plus Cherry Jubilee, yeah wasn't that strange in Equestria Games? I mean, how did Cherry Jubilee, the owner of a cherry orchard get her own VIP seat, yet the Elements of Harmony don't? Betcha she was filling in for the real leader of Dodge Junction. Anyways, Twilight felt she may need some muscle, and what muscle is better than a dragon? So she & Garbledina head off to this meeting while Spike & the other 5: Beff(R63 Baff), Pat(R63 Clump), Dart(R63 Spear), Fizzelle(R63 Fizzle), and Vixen(R63 Vex) stayed behind. Spike didn't really enjoy that idea, because...well after watching Rosario + Vampire, he's realized that soon he has to make a choice on who he'll marry.

"(Why did I have to get a harem? I was hoping I'd get one girl but no!)" He thought while in the bath.

"What's wrong Spike?" Asked Pat, the Brown dragoness.

"Whoa! Hey Patty, what are you doing here?"

"I felt like joining you in the bath."

"No, I'm fine."

She didn't listen and got in the huge bathtub, and her...girth caused the water to come out of the tub.

"And there goes my rubber ducky & Toy boat." Said Spike.

"Don't worry kid, we can 'play' in the tub for a whole 7 hours." Pat said seductively.

What? Fat chicks need love also you know, umm....hey Quagmire, could you come over here?

"Hey, what do you need?" Asked Glenn Quagmire walking over.

Could you explain to them why fat chicks need love as well?

"Yeah, it's true. You can whore yourself out for 1000's of fat & really fat chicks, they need the love you know."

Is that why you were with that fat chick in 'And then there were fewer'?

"Shut-up, shut the fucking hell up! I don't want anyone to mention her again!"

"Hey Quagmire, your fatty girlfriend had flowers on her undies!" Peter called out.

"PETEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!" Then Quagmire began chasing after Peter & Brian.

Wow, that was weird. After Spike's 7 hour bubble bath, what they hell? Why 7 hours? Does lots of filth really get stuck in between those scales? Any who, Spike then walked down Ponyville with a shopping list in one claw, and Vixen's claw, in the other. Vixen was the purple dragoness with the big lower jaw.

"Mommy, I want to meet the dragon girls." Asked a filly.

"Maybe, but only if you mind your manners." The Mom replied.

"Wow, you think these girls wanna be friends?" Asked a Stallion.

"I guess so if they're with Spike." Replied his brother.

"Hey, this isn't lasagna you idiot!" Yelled an angry Stallion to a store clerk.

"They're staring at us." Said Vixen.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure Pinkie will throw you girls a party for being new citizens of the town, everypony will welcome you soon, don't worry about it." Spike assure her.

" *Smooch* Thanks Spike."

"No problem, anything for you and the girls." He said with a tsundere face.

"Dang, get some Spike!" commented Featherweight.

"Shut-up please."

Later that night...

Spike & Dart, the purple dragoness with blonde hair covering her eyes were listening to Vinyl & Octavia's concert. Banging heads to the music.

"Woo! Great that you & I came, this is amazing!" Spike said.

"Yeah, a fusion of Cello & Dubstep, who knew it'd be this awesome?" Replied Dart.

"Exactly, what other fusions do you think music can do?"

"Well, Trahzo the author is hoping for a fusion of Heavy Metal & Videogame Music."

"Oh, I hope that actually happens!" Spike said, while everyone was fist pumping. " *Gasp*Look at that dude!"

Then they saw their faces on the jumbotron.

"Why are our faces on the..." Then it turned into a kiss cam. "What the? I thought only baseball had kiss cams!"

"That is very weird man." Said Dart.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" The audience chanted.

"Guess we better give 'em what they want." Then Spike took Dart by her cheeks & then kissed her.

Then everyone went d'aww, then they began running away in fear when it was time for Dethklok to begin their concert.

The Next day...

"I love the feeling of lava on my scales in the afternoon." Said Beff.

"It feels so warm." Spike said. "Shouldn't we tell some pony about the volcano in the outskirts of Apploosa?"

"Don't worry, I've been to this volcano for years, this volcano has never erupted, if it wont now, then it wont for years." Beff assured Spike.

"Well, if you say so." Spike then went to an edge, then cannon balled into the lava, making a splash, which got in Beff's face. Then Beff gave Spike a 10 out of Deez Nuts, okay fine, Ben10 outta Kevin11! Okay, okay, okay, 10 out of lasagna.

"Author, would you quit the shtick and just say 10 outta 10?"

*Slap!* Get lost Pinkie Pie!

"Nice one Spike."

"Thanks Beff." Then Spike swan towards Beff and was around one of her arms. "*sigh* I love you for bringing me here, it was very fun."

*Rumble!*

"Umm...what was that?"

"Nothing." She said.

The next day...

Now, for my favorite of the R63 dragons, Fizzelle! Oh yeah! Fizzelle had the best body outta her friends, a little on the shy side, she managed to help Fluttershy destroy her fear of dragons because of their similar shy status. She was in fact the Marie Kanker of the group, the only hot one!

"Hey!" The other 5 wined.

H-how did they know I was here................PINKIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!

"No, It was me! Peter Griffin! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

Okay, anyways. Spike was being carried by Fizzelle, and Spike really liked it. Spike nuzzled her even.

"*Giggle* A little friendly, aren't we Spike?"

"Sorry, it's just that, you're so beautiful!" Spike then embraced her, squishing her huge chest to his face. "Hmph, Hmph, I love your body, so sexy!"

"Heh, oh stop, I'm not that sexy."

"Hey, some of the girls got the ass, then some got the tits, but you Fizzelle, you've got both!" Spike then began fondling her chest.

"Oh, Spike! Not now, not until we get to your bedroom." She said.

"Sorry, I just wanna get into you right now!"

"Well, the others wont be back until later...guess we can get kinky in the hallway, if you're fine with it, I guess I'm okay with it also."

"Yes!"

Then Fizzelle got on her knees to begin the foreplay, in the hallway, hey that rhymes.

The Next Day...

Spike was walking down the hallway thinking about all that had happened in this week. Could he choose just one of them? Why can't he be greedy and claim them all? It's not like it's illegal in the dragon community, I mean it is hoarding right? Wife hoarding that is...Spike entered the media room where the girls were watching a romance anime.

"Spike!" They all said with smiles.

"Hey girls." Spike said with a caring smile.

All the girls flew to Spike, picked him up, and hugged him.

"(Hmm...maybe I should hoard them...yes, for now on, these girls, will be my hoard.)"

---

"*Sniff!* *Sniff!*"

"What's wrong Brak?"

"It's just that, the author's annoying Step-Grandparents are coming home from their vacation!"

"Dammit! Now his Step-Granny shall nag him to no end about being on the TV, Videogames, and Computer all day again, driving him to cut his own back hand with a sharpened pencil! He doesn't want to give the 3DS during the school week! He doesn't want to be yelled at, he doesn't give 2 shits if he's only a little deaf! He hates the constant yelling, and nagging!!! That's not even the end of the shit he has when they're at home, he now has to share a room with his step-brother again, meaning that the WIIU on his TV will be replaced by XBOX, which he really really hates! You know something else? A lot of times during meals, she'll FUCKING Nag as well, which makes the author so angry that he speed eats, causing him to burn his mouth & get fat, you should see what he's like right now! He gets so annoyed at her that it makes him punch the wall of his bedroom real hard during the night!HE DOESN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU EXPLAIN HOW IT'S DONE!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO MOTHERFUCKING HEAR IT!!!" Luna explained

"Dammit, our author's freedom is now limited by reality's idiots!" Trixie said.

"Hey knows the world doesn't revolve around him, but please shut up bitch! He wishes he could say that! He even plans on flipping his family off one day as he drives his moving van!"

"On the bright side his suffering is coming to an end because he's going to attend community college, so after college, he can move out, and finally be away from them."

"Didn't his step-mom say to get married 1st?"

"He will not listen to that!"

Author's Note:

Love Calculator:
Beff: 72%
Fizzelle: 15%
Dart: 58%
Vixen: 15%
Pat: 58%
Total: 218%

I apologize of this was a rushed one. Also yeah, that is my domestic life, a life of annoyance! I hate it so fucking much! I feel so free whenever they go on their many months long vacations TO THE PHILIPPINES!!! I HATE MY STEP GRANDMA SO GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING MUCH!!! YOU WONT UNDERSTAND MY PAIN BECAUSE YOU AREN'T ME!!! MY ONLY FREEDOM IS WHEN I AM AT WORK AND AT SCHOOL!!! IF I COULD TONE THINGS DOWN, THEN I'D HAVE A BETTER TIME BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SHITTING DO THAT!!! Yeah, you can tell right away that I'm more of a friend person than a family man. If you're gonna tell me the importance of family, I'll listen once I start my own, for now no! MY STEP GRANDMA IS THE FUCKING WORST!!!