As Earth and Equestria are drawn closer together, Gatekeepers connecting to their other-world counterpart start to appear. This is the story of Rex, bound to Chrysalis as a Gatekeeper, and his quest for survival as a changeling on Earth.
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My name is William. Chrysalis is my waifu. I haven't started reading this yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna like this story.
3687439
Trust me, you are.
why would you reference that ghastly vampire tale!? *sigh* to each their own i suppose.
Wait, Is this like the last chapter or is this the chronologically next part of the story?
3687513
Chronologically the next part. I thought about splitting it up into two stories, but decided against it. There are more chapters to come.
3687498
It is a horrible story that somehow got made into a movie, ergo, a flesh eating monster that wants to get in your pants can be made into an enjoyable character.
3687674
but the acting and the plot were so amazingly stupid and boring! how can anyone call that "entertainment"
I got my wisdom teeth out a while ago. I know what you are going through. (Isn't Hydrocodone great?)
Here is a pic of them:
i.imgur.com/jyChzMo.jpg
On topic:
I do believe that this chapter was quite good.
You should make moar .-.
Not a fan of time skips at all... but I wonder where are you taking this story now.
3687656 Okay. It is just that two years is a BIIIIIG jump, so I was wondering if we would see any of the in-between stuff that might have been a little interesting...
Anyway, 1:17 AM and in need of sleep, i shall let my brain deal with it in the afternoon when I get up.
he seems kinda reckless. Like two years of success and then sudden recklessness? wierd
fucking beast mode yeah kill rip kill
Im sorry dave.... LOL, that was a great one, more over if you didn't plan it
3687698
>Implying that I can do better.
3687796
I think mine looked weirder.
3687960
Don't worry, I have a plan!
3687963
You are going to see some of it, but not much. I have other things I want to show you.
3688004
Chryssy has called him out on it before. He's not a very good changeling (2 years thinking like a ling, 18 years thinking like a human? Yeah, not good.) Also, remember in the bar scene, he got punched twice in the head, fractured his jaw, got knocked over the bar, and has broken glass fragments embedded in his back. You try thinking strait like that, let alone holding on to enough concentration to maintain the transformation spell (my head-canon is that pain/impacts force the disguise to revert).
3688936 my point wasn't that he was reckless. Its that you skipped 2 years implying nothing but success, and then making him act absurdly reckless all of a sudden. Like if hes that bad at being a changeling, how has his cover not been blown in that 2 years
3688938
Don't worry, I know what I am doing. The impact of that time-skip shall be explored over the next plot arc. That wasn't a fire-and-forget plot device.
3688952 i was not doubting you, just commenting on an observation
3688953
Either way, pointing issues/observations out to me helps me ensure that I have covered everything that I need to and don't forget important details. So, thanks !
And:
That's something I don't like about your story, you make it way too easy for him to do what he wants; like just controlling somebody per hypnosis in seconds or severing his hand per teleportation. With that logic, any magic user would be a one-man-army...
I mean, the hypnosis part is highly possible, but just severing his hand in a split second? We have never seen in the show that teleportation is that dangerous, we have only seen others getting slight burns or stings from it.
At the moment Rex and the rest of his changelings are just Rofl-stomping every non-magic user...
You put knee; instead of kneel but other than that really cool chapter
3689400
Fixed
3689040
Rex and the hive are effectively out-of-context antagonists to the humans. Magic doesn't exist on Earth outside the hive. Think about invasive species in real life. When taken from their normal home, they can do far better because of their natural advantages or lack of predators.
Also, I can't help but think that normal unicorns would be incredibly dangerous in the MLP universe if they wanted to be. Unicorns (in my head-canon) have a larger magic reserve and faster recovery than changelings. A single unicorn, using the traditional fighting style shown on-screen, could probably magically out-duel a changeling any time (Example: Twilight Sparkle). However, Rex's changelings are precise and use spells in unconventional ways (teleporting parts of objects). Also, Equestrians have ways of dealing with rogue magic users (Sombra V. Shining Armor), while Humans do not. Go find me any story where, if you gave those same supernatural powers/advanced tech to anybody who is less than 80% good, they would not abuse those powers for personal gain. Humans have a long history of abusing any tool that they come across for their own gain. I cite fire for real life and Death Note as a fictional extreme.
Now, consider the flip-side. Any human can still be just as dangerous as a changeling. Give him a gun, a knife, poison, or any other lethal implement and they can kill a changeling, especially if they have the element of surprise. FYI, bullets fly faster than your reaction time; a changeling will be shot before they can cast any spell if they don't know when the trigger will be pulled.
As for the getting away with it thing, if you were a shape-shifter and no one knew that you were, wouldn't it be easy to just go into a restroom after doing something and come out as someone else? 'Zed' is just one of many of Rex's personas, meaning that he could become anyone else at the drop of a hat. The whole reason like 90% of this plot even happened was that William Ross became Alvarium Rex and got the power to 'Get away with it.'
Do you know what William would have done if he hadn't met Chrysalis? He would have gone to college and worked part-time flipping burgers while he earned is business degree. How is that for a MLP fanfic?
Sorry if it sound's like I'm ranting.
That's immersion-breaking for me. Did you know that, for a lot of technologies, only one or two countries have the knowledge to actually make them without years of experimentation to turn theory into practice? (Because the details needed are trade secrets and the only employees or ex-employees who could be bribed into sharing the knowledge live in those countries because of how thoroughly we've outsourced the industry in question.)
For example, I could be mis-remembering the details, but I think it was only certain asian companies that know how they solved the various problems with the lithium-ion polymer technology used in batteries for modern electronics.
I don't believe you covered this. What about the fact all the humans there saw Rex become a 'demon' what is being done about that?
3688936 Okay.
3691383
Though I never really thought about it, they either A) captured/cocooned and impersonated all of the humans, b) converted the humans, or c) they did what they did in this Harry Potter fanfic.
3690170
Why, didn't you know? A skilled hacker in fiction land can hack into anything and download the entire internet. Why, he could even hack into your toaster an make it toast pictures of Jesus on your bread. (Sorry, I don't care enough to stick to reality for this. While I normally make my stories really realistic, I just don't care on this.)
3691641
I think memory spells or conversion. But in the amount of time, prolly conversion.
3692110
I've been thinking on this scene since you brought it up and I think I know how to address it in the next chapter. I'm just afraid that it will seem like a bit of an ass-pull.
3693712
I was thinking 'why not just add something saying to do what we talked about?' But you really left no openings to do so. Welp at least you are giving some explanation now instead of later when it could really mess you up.
Yay update
Does not include: Sanity, a new body available in case of death, a nose for that new body
3699037
Hahaha! Funny!
Though, now that I think about it, it almost acts more like an extreme healing factor than a horcrux.
3699351 In that case:
WOLVERINE CHANGELING!!!
DEADPOOL CHANGELING!!!
T-1000 CHANGELING!!!
What else?
ALEX MERCER CHANGELING!!!
Uuuhhh... I'm outta ideas.
So I read your thing about Greenfyre Inc, and just wanted to say that there's an apartment/condo building in Seattle galled Greenfire.
I just want to say this but there are some humans out there that can beat the 1:324 odds of willpower.
3699469 super-man changeling batman changeling hulk changeling