Destination: Thataway!

by Hawattie

Needs Wittier Chapter Titles

The interior of Ner'Ghalad's temporary fortress was tastefully decorated with lush carpets, intricate tile mosaics, and two lawn flamingos scattered about the entrance hall. The three or four recently dismembered zombies did little to detract from the decor. I made an offhand comment complimenting Ner's style and, surprise surprise, Ner's disembodied voice responded.

"I like it too," he said. "It was all on the recommendation of that fashionista mare from Ponyville who's renovating my main castle. You should have heard her," Ner's voice took on an affected upper-class accent and a higher pitch, "'Bare stone and rusty chains?! What is this, the dark ages? No, no, no darling, you simply must allow me to throw a little bit of glamour into this place. Even if it is only going to be housing your operations temporarily.'"

"She sounds like an interesting character," Aquapony said. The four of us spread out and started sweeping the foyer - why an evil fortress had a foyer was beyond me - for both loot and a way forward. I saw the Courier pocket at least seven different seemingly worthless items, including the flamingos. If I thought really hard about it I probably could have figured out how he fit them into a pants pocket, but I was distracted by Ner continuing the conversation.

"Quite so, quite so. You really should see the work she's doing in my old castle some time. It's really quite the transformation." Fphant found a hallway leading deeper into the fortress. Our party set off down it casually dispatching the few errant undead minions that crossed our path.

"How did you-" A loud gunshot from right behind me cut me off mid-sentence. I shot a glare at the Courier who just shrugged and shouldered his gun. A very fat zombie worm that had until recently been about to eat Aquapony's face off shuddered as it re-died due to bullet-itis. "How did you manage to convince someone from Ponyville of all places to work with you?" I asked. "Isn't that like, right next to Canterlot?"

"I was just as surprised as you were when she responded to the advert I put in the paper. I never imagined one of Celestia's little ponies would be willing to work with one of her most hated nemesis. She didn't question the dark and imposing unicorn who is literally on fire contracting her for interior decorating. She just took one look at my old run-down castle before taking the job. And get this, it turns out she's some sort of national hero who's personal friends with Celestia herself! Once she's done remodeling my castle I'm definitely going to need to enslave her and use her as bait and/or a bargaining chip against Celestia. Oh, but listen to us chatting like old friends. You're assaulting my fortress and I need to prepare myself for our inevitable showdown. Farewell for now!"

I returned his goodbye, though none of my friends did. A comfortable silence fell over us as we continued down the deceptively long hallway.

Finally, after about half an hour and a few small rooms filled with trash mobs the hallway spat us out onto a narrow ledge facing a bottomless chasm. To our left was a narrow stone bridge less than a foot and a half wide leading thirty feet across the chasm where half a dozen skeletons were busy aiming bows at Aquapony, who was leading our little party. I expected our local ranged expert, the Courier to dispatch them with his usual brutal efficiency so I was very surprised when several arrows impacted various parts of Aquapony's body with wet, meaty noises and a distinct lack of booming gunshots.

The Courier, as per usual, was the first to react. "Get down!" he shouted at Fphant and I as he dragged Aquapony back into the hallway. Of course, neither of us followed his order. I sort of just stood there like an idiot until he yanked me back into the hallway too while the mirage did his illusiony thing, making a fake copy of himself which drew the steady hail of arrows away from the rest of us.

Once he was reasonably assured of his immediate safety, the Courier started doing medic stuff to save Aquapony's life. "I didn't see what shot at us," he said calmly while he worked. "If they've got a sniper nest of some sort set up we may have to find another way around."

I waved a hoof dismissively. "Nah, there's just a few archers on the other side of that chasm, you can shoot them no prob once your done being an awesome medic."

"There was nothing on the other side of that..." the Courier's "you're a moron look" melted into one of dawning realization. "They were invisible, weren't they? Why didn't you warn us?"

I shrugged. "I can't tell the difference between visible and invisible things, I just see them all. I expected you to shoot them like you normally do so I didn't bother saying anything."

Apparently satisfied that Aquapony was stable, the Courier stood and peeked into the room. "I don't see anything," he said, "not even a shimmer. I can't shoot what I can't see at that range."

I shimmied up next to him and peeked in myself. One of the skeletons met my eyes and flipped me off. "Rude," I muttered, then in a more audible voice I whispered to the Courier, "Hand me a gun and I think I can pick them off from here."

The Courier reached partway for one of his smaller guns before pausing. "How would you even use a gun with hooves?" he asked. "And for that matter, can't you fire goddamn lasers out of your hooves?"

"Oh yeah." I grinned sheepishly. I had honestly forgotten I possessed that ability, what with the whole dying and being resurrected only to find out I'd killed two of my friends thing.

I stepped out into the open to get a better shot; not that it helped, more than three fourths of my lasers missed horribly. As soon as they could see me the skeletons started firing wildly at me. By the time the last skeleton was a smoldering pile I resembled a pincushion. Thankfully due to my ridiculously overpowered healing factor my being arrow-riddled wasn't nearly as detrimental as it was for Aquapony.

Fphant helped Aquapony to his hooves and thankfully the stallion appeared to be fine, if a little shaken. The Courier glanced at the previously invisible skeletons, like the ones outside these skeletons became visible when they died, and remarked something about Nightkin. I confidently led the way across the narrow stone bridge.

My friends were slow to follow. For some unfathomable reasons they were rather nervous about crossing the unstable bridge. My weight only caused it to grind in protest and crack threateningly at three different places! "That doesn't look safe," Fphant said.

"Oh come on, it's perfectly safe!" I exclaimed from the other side. To prove my point I jumped up and down on my end of the bridge. "See, perfectly-" A grinding noise as loud as a gunshot cut me off mid-sentence. Cracks spiderwebbed out from below my hooves all the way across the bridge. "...safe" I ended lamely as the entire structure collapsed into the yawning dark chasm below.

Several seconds passed where my friends and I gazed at each other from opposite sides of an impenetrable obstacle. "Well," Fphantom broke the silence, "looks like we're gonna have to find another way around after all. You should keep heading further in, we'll meet up with you thataway."

Author's Note:

I just realized I didn't really give Ner'Ghalad much of a description besides "Tall, dark, wears dark robes, has surprisingly normal voice and teeth, and is on fire." Oh, and he uses a magical crossbow as his weapon of choice.

I also realized I don't really remember some of the earlier parts of this story. Specifically I didn't remember how much I had cussed, if any, when writing the scene where Aquapony gets shot. In order to rectify this I'm going to go read through all the earlier chapters and correct any grammatical/spelling mistakes I see along the way and maybe smooth out any consistency errors. By the time I get back to this point I'll hopefully be motivated enough to write another chapter! But in all likelihood I'll get bored and play WoW instead.

Still a months long wait, but at least two months is better than four-five months.

Stay awesome. Try not to die.

Comments

[Legion222]

Freaking invisible archers, man. OP.

Write on,
Legion