Destination: Thataway!

by Hawattie

Cue drumroll

Either Unique's rock was incredibly fast or the train had taken us closer than we expected because the imposing stone edifice of Ner's castle came into view in under an hour of travel. When this is all over, I'm asking Unique to teach me how to drive one of those things.

Ner's castle was about what I expected it to be; a great big, dark, ominous construction of aged stone surrounded by a moat. The fact that the moat was currently dry and half of the towers had crumbled away meant nothing, it's the thought that counts.

Also, we weren't the only people arriving at the evil castle. Our ride ground to a screeching halt a few meters from a group of six ponies in colorful costumes. "Do my eyes deceive me?" one of the ponies, an earth pony wearing some sort of green and orange outfit, asked. "Is that the esteemed Unique Blend riding atop one of the fabled transports of the olden ponies?"

"Yes it is," a second pony confirmed. This one was a pegasus wearing blue and red tights emblazoned with a great big S on the front. "The real question is who, or more appropriately what, is riding with him?"

Fphant rolled his eyes. "Great," he mumbled, "we've got ourselves a group of racists here." Since he mentioned it, I did notice a few unsavory glances being directed towards the two non-pony members of our group. Fphant's displeasure was evident, but the Courier seemed indifferent, instead choosing to gawk at the colorful outfits. I can't really blame him, that's the sort of thing you expect to see on a comic book hero, not a real life person.

"It would appear our friend, Unique, has been busy since we saw him last," the only mare in their group stated. Compared to her companion's full-body outfits, her silver-accented red and blue attire seemed rather... skimpy. "I only hope his choice of traveling companions hasn't caused him any misfortune." Huh, I could've sworn that last comment was directed towards me and the sorceress as well as Fphant and the Courier. Does she have something against us?

"Of course they've caused him misfortune!" the unicorn in green spandex declared. "Don't you recognize the mare? And that stallion there! I can practically smell the bad luck that comes from him." I'm not entirely sure what the symbol on this guy's chest was supposed to be. A squinting eyeball? A tie fighter? A circle trapped between two parallel lines? I'll have to ask him once they stop subtly insulting me and my friends.

The pegasus dressed head-to-hoof in a red suit with yellow lightning bolt accents gasped. "Why didn't I see it before! It's the very sorceress we set out from town all those months ago to defeat!" Wait, didn't Unique mention something about a group of wannabe heroes trying to evict the sorceress? What did he say their name was?

"So the blasphemous wench finally decided to come out of hiding and face us, the almighty Justice Ponies?" the final member of their group said. Right! So I finally get to meet the so-called superheroes that Unique Blend's unique blends accidentally created. Isn't it nice how all six of them got one or two lines in sequence so i could introduce them? The last guy was dressed in black with a bat motif. I would call it "cool" if not for the fact that he was being unfriendly to my friends.

"I seem to remember a group of ninnies matching your description running from my dogs like some scared foals on nightmare night," the sorceress said, sarcasm dripping from her every syllable. "That couldn't have been you, seeing as how you're obviously the bravest and most noble..."

Unique cut her off with a cough. "Let's not antagonize the Justice Ponies," he hissed. "They may be egotistical fools with not even a teacupful of courage between the lot, but I'd rather not piss them off."

"The witch impugns our honor!" the guy with the S on his chest cried. "She is obviously asking for a beat-down of royal proportions!" So much for not antagonizing them.

"Hold on," the sorceress cried. Funny, when faced with six ponies with dubious levels of power the sorceress seemed to lose her confidence. "Can't we talk this out?"

"Of course not!" the stallion wearing orange and green cried as he pulled a trident off his back and gave it a few test swings. The other five were making similar preparations "We must abandon our current quest of defeating the evil necromancer in order to resume our old quest of defeating the evil sorceress!"

"She's not evil, you know," Fphant commented. I did a double take, some time during the conversation the rest of my friends had dismounted our rock leaving me all alone. I hurried to join them on the ground, but in my haste managed to trip over my own hooves and face-plant next to the Courier. To the man's credit he only snickered a little bit while he helped me to my hooves, unlike the Justice Ponies who all laughed uproariously.

"What would you know, shade?" the scantily-clad mare called. Judging by Fphant's reaction I would say that "shade" is some sort of derogatory term for spirits like him. I rested a hoof on his arm to prevent him from taking any rash actions. "She probably used her magic to twist your weak will into her thrall. You'll be thanking us shortly when we free you from her vile influence."

"I would never...!" the sorceress started, but the guy in green with the ambiguous symbol cut her off.

"What are you anyways," he asked the Courier, "some sort of mutant hairless diamond dog?"

I hadn't known him very long so I didn't know how the man reacted to insults. It was a pleasant surprise when, instead of blowing the stallion's brains out, the Courier glanced at me and asked, "Am I allowed to kill him?" I shook my head. The less blood shed the better.

The Justice Ponies all burst into laughter, as if the Courier had said some hilarious joke. "You kill me?" the green stallion snickered. "Do you have any idea who you're dealing with."

"Haven't the foggiest," the Courier said without missing a beat. "But that won't stop me from being the last thing you never see."

"Don't you mean 'the last thing you ever see'?" the sorceress corrected.

"No, I don't." The Courier fixed a glare onto the Justice Ponies. The group obviously hadn't taken his threat seriously, as they were now bickering over who would get the honor of killing the sorceress. "S" guy appeared to win their argument, as he approached us.

To my surprise, he walked right up to me. "You appear to command the mutant diamond dog and the shade," the pony smirked, probably recalling my faceplant earlier, "am I correct to assume you are the leader of this motley band?"

Was I the leader? I guess I sorta was. I glanced at my group. Fphant was glaring daggers at the pony, Unique gave me a look that said, "I guess so," the sorceress was inspecting her hoof in a bored manner, and the Courier simply shrugged. "You would not be incorrect to assume that," I said diplomatically

"Then to avoid unnecessary bloodshed, I challenge you to single combat!" Huh, it seems these ponies do have some sort of honor after all. "First one to surrender loses." Sounds fair. I could probably take one pony on. It's not like he's some sort of overpowered super being with oodles of strength and every superpower in the book, right?

"I accept your challenge," I said. The sound of hoof meeting face sounded from behind me. "If I win, you will agree to leave my friends and I alone for the duration of our time together." I paused, thinking of the verbal harassment the Justice Ponies had been dishing out since we'd first met. "And that includes the use of offensive verbal comments, intentional or otherwise."

"When I win, you will give us the sorceress so that she may face..." S guy paused long enough to pass me a self-righteous smirk, "justice." I get the feeling that his idea of "justice" goes along the lines of "beheading without trial". I think the sorceress came to the same conclusion since she made an outraged noise bordering between a growl and a shout.

"What are the rules of this engagement?" I asked. S guy didn't have any weapons that I could see, so it would make sense if he would prohibit me from using mine.

The pegasus eyed my axe, undoubtedly knowing my reason for asking. "Anything goes," he said, "combat will continue until one of us is either unable to fight or willingly admits defeat." It said something about his confidence that he let me use my axe. One good hit from that would probably put an end the fight.

"Shall we begin then?" I asked. He may be confident, but I had a few tricks up my metaphorical sleeve.

"Almost," S guy said. "I feel we should move our fight to someplace more open, I'd hate to cause any unnecessary property damage." He motioned to the old castle. I couldn't be certain, but I thought I saw a certain necromancer watching from the ramparts with a bag of popcorn.

I pointed towards an open field a few hundred yards away. "How about over thataway?"

Author's Note:

Betchya forgot about these guys, huh? Let this be a lesson: Anything and Everything I mention in earlier chapters can be used in this story.
Hell, that's the case with most stories. It's called foreshadowing.

Next time: Let's fight Superman!

Stay awesome. Try not to die.

Comments

[Zytharros]

And cue meteor blowing the battlefield to shreds so they're fighting on 263 platforms that can barely fit two-and-a-half ponies over a friggin' massive pit.

*ahem*

I don't know. Seems legit.

[Mystic Deadman]

3496899
So, in other words, time to get DBZ in this shit?

[Hawattie]

3499931 More or less. Let's just say that they were wise to move the fight away from the castle.

[Zytharros]

3499931
Sure.
Or FF VI.
Wait... Kefka in Equestria.
NONONONONONONONO...

[Hawattie]

3501713 Unfortunately I've never played VI. I have, however, played VII, VIII, and X, and might have plans including them...

Btw, my favorite final fantasy is VIII.

[Zytharros]

3503335
In VI, you eventually have four active party members of twelve (sixteen?) unique characters that you can swap in and out at whim. It isn't 3D... Super Nintendo could only do very rudimentary 3D, after all (Star Fox), but having played every Final Fantasy up to X, it ranks as #2, next only to IX for best story in my opinion.

[Hawattie]

3506313 So do you swap characters in VI the same way as in X or is it different?
On a semi-related note I just noticed that I have III and IV available to download onto my iPhone. I might just have to play those.

[Zytharros]

3506739
You swap characters Iin Setzer's airship. It's like your mobile hub.

Both III and IV are pretty cool.