A millennium ago, give or take, Princesses Celestia and Luna were nearly defeated by the most powerful villain that they had ever faced, Grogar, the dreaded lord of Tambelon. Thanks only to the whims of random chance, the two princesses survived that encounter, but have been forced to live in fear of the time of his inevitable return. That time is now...

...But whatever revival was intended has gone a little... wrong. Behind the wheels of Grogar's body is the spirit of a slightly extremely eccentric human. Equestria would have been lucky to survive the real Grogar, but will the ponies fare any better with this loon ruling Tambelon?

Sex Tag For Sexy Times Reasons, Gore Tag For Gorey Time Reasons.

You. Have. Been. Warned.

After the Friendship Games, Sunset feels it's time to return home.

Only when she gets there, Twilight's castle is nowhere to be found, Cadance just got her horn, and Princess Celestia is still calling the bacon-haired pony her prized student rather than a failed one. And just reliving her past isn't on the table thanks to a pair of wings Sunset seems to have sprouted upon her return to Equestria.

With Sunset being back before she's supposed to, will the world stay as harmonious and on track, or will everything go down in flames as Sunset has to deal with allegations that she's really a changeling in disguise, a nerdy stallion with blue hair that wants to be her coltfriend, a pretty pink princess in need of remedial magic lessons, and an annoying purple pre-teen pony that will absolutely not go to bed without first being read Starswirl's Complete Mystical Mysteries Compendium?

Only time will tell

To be inserted into Equestria, it's a dream come true for anybrony!

Meet the ponies!

Have super awesome magical adventures!

Use foreknowledge to avoid all those silly pratfall moments without screwing things up and causing irreparable harm to the Mane 6...uh...hopefully!

And all for the low cost of possessing Princess Luna, denying her any real freedom or the ability to move on with her life since she's in your head and you're walking around as Nightmare Moon!

Yeah...there had to be a catch in there somewhere, didn't there?

A few days after the Nightmare Moon Incident, Spike awakens to find Twilight acting a little...odd. Or odder than usual anyway. All of a sudden she's being all motherly, sure of herself in ways she's never been before, and even more outgoing.

But…it’s kind of creepy how she just seems to know everypony’s name, or their habits, and even some stuff nopony else should know.

But she's still good old Twilight...right?

Featured 5/28/2014

Twilight Sparkle has proven herself to be an exceptional practitioner of the arcane arts. So, Princess Celestia decides that it is time she learned of the applications and consequences of advanced magic.

The war pressed ever northwards, and Luna lead as the tip of that spear. Before her lay the abandoned town, Snow Vale. A safe pass through the mountains. A staging ground to strike at the Empire's very heart.

Sombra's beaten and broken slave-soldiers were retreating into the town. An oncoming blizzard darkened the horizon and within, icy demons fed to bloating by the war bay and howl. Luna narrowed her eyes. It would come too late. She would rout the enemy. She would take Snow Vale. She would claim the pass for their armies.

Half a league. Half a league. Half a league forwards.

Luna regarded her soldiers. Bright eyed, hot-breathed, ready. She smiled and gave the order.

They charged.

What happens, happens. I think that is one of the rules of Causality as stated by the late, great Douglas Adams. It is a pretty important rule and I use it to guide me through life, no matter what goes on in it. So, when I was driving to an out of town job and found myself in another world, I did my best to take everything in stride.

I would be the first to say the adjustment is not easy. Especially, when the first thing you do is make yourself a pony distrusted, disliked and defamed by some national heros. Thinking about that, I think I have to invoke another Douglas Adams quote. "Don't Panic."

--

This is the result of me getting bored one day and starting writing. Now that I got a bit of it done, I wouldn't mind honest opinions, and flame away if you feel the need. I have thick skin.

As you might notice, there are a few chapters with a box at the top. These are the ones that my editor and I went through again, and hopefully improved. I'll refrain from changing plot but spelling, grammar and flow are all up for grab. Especially for the early chapters.

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

This story is a sequel to Linguistic Walls

Artwork edited by me, original work made by nobody. Proofread by the amazing WrittenWord333.

Three months have passed since you were able to ever so cleverly deduce that Celestia had adopted you, indeed NOT trying to be your lover, and things have been absolutely terrible ever since due to nightmares that are making you question what is fantasy and what is reality. Not that mom would know, you've done a pretty good job of not letting on that anything is wrong. You two not speaking the same language makes it easier too, but you're still being kept on your toes by your aunt, Princess Luna.

Though you still have a way to go the lingual gap is closing slowly and during the process you've learned of Luna's prowess and abilities concerning dreams. Your only reprieve is that she seems to be having trouble accessing your dreams for some reason or another, but now the clock is ticking until she finds a way in.

Years of ingrained independence and the blurring line between dream and reality leaves you in a terrifying corner as even the pony you've come to care for the most may not even be real.

Featured 10/13/16, Thank you all so much!

Almost a year after what seemed to be the concluding battle in Celestia's great crusade against necromancers, something Mortem believes to be borderline discrimination, he discovers one of Celestia's armies setting up camp just outside his stronghold.

Not wanting to jump to any conclusions or risk angering the very powerful Princess, he concludes a diplomatic solution would be the best way forward. And so, he writes a letter.

Proofread by the wonderful Soren Mercer
Featured on Equestria Daily here
Audiobook versions by Illya Leonov and TheArchitect are here and here respectively
SoundCloud verion of Illya Leonov's is here