14.
Wow.
Just wow.
After careful consideration and new evidence, I had reversed my stance on hooves and massages entirely. I would of never guessed in a thousand lifetimes that hooves could work a kink out of a muscle so well, but my recent experience has shown me otherwise. I was still in a zen-like state of relaxation and staring out the window to enjoy the scenery while Rarity squared up the tab . With the sun bright in the sky, and everypony going about their day so happily, it would seem that all was right with the world and I wou-
“Scriber? Are you quite alright?” the elegant mare asked as if she already repeated the question several times. I was back in the spa's front room. I gave her a quick glance in return, and put on my best smile. Of course, I hoped I would not have a repeat of thinking about rivulets of water trickling over their wonderfully sculpted flaaaaa.... Not going there again! Nice try, libido.
“Uh, yeah! I am great! Thank you,” I stammered as I returned to my senses and reality in general. It was still strange that this was my reality now, but I was coping with that. As a plus, it seemed much easier to keep down those “odd” thoughts now that the two mares were dry from their time in the spa. “That was much better than I thought it could be, I must admit.”
She grinned knowingly at me. “The twins are very good at what they do. I'm so very glad they decided to stay here, rather than move on to Canterlot.” Her yellow friend just gave me a quick glance and then averted her eyes from me once more. “Anyways, shall we be going?”
I would of gone with the two to hash our differences out already, but the prospect of a free meal was getting to be more and more of a draw too. The answer was obvious. “Of course. Where to?”
“Oh, just a little place we know that is not far from here. I am sure you'll enjoy it. They have the most marvellous lunches in all of Ponyville,” she stated with happy confidence. It sounded good enough for me, so I pushed the door open to the street and the pair made their way out. “Thank you, Scriber.”
Fluttershy barely looked at me as she made her way through the door. Not only that, she shrank right to the opposite corner of the door from me, leaving me with the distinct impression that I would need to address the root of our issues sooner than later, but the yellow pegasus was quick to put Rarity between herself and I. “You're welcome,” I returned as we began our way down the street, though conversation did not come as easily as I would hope and so, I fell back on one of the classic standards of conversation. “Nice day out, eh?”
“Oh yes. The weather team really outdid themselves today,” Rarity agreed quickly with a quick glance up to confirm it. I nearly forgot about the whole 'manufactured weather' thing. Oh well. “They really do take pride in their work though. How about you? What is it that you do?”
“Me? Oh, I bash tin,” I answered without thinking. If you were in the trades, the reply would make sense, but the laypony, it was merely jargon.
“Bash... Tin?”
“Oh. I work sheet metal and do stuff like venting and duct-work. It's noisy work, but honest and well, I find it quite fun too. Much better than being stuck behind a desk all day. You got to enjoy what you do, after all.” I clarified, “How about you two?” By returning the question to the pair, maybe I could get the quiet one to speak.
Of course, Rarity went first and puffed herself up. “Oh, I am one of the premier fashion designers of all of Equestria,” she answered with no lack of pride. “Ever since the royal wedding I designed for, I have become a mare to know for all in the industry.”
Fluttershy's reply was much less audible. She squeaked something then looked away from me yet again. This was getting ridiculous but I really didn't want to force the issue because I didn't want to make her less comfortable than she already appeared to be. At least her friend spoke up for her.
“Fluttershy is the unofficial veterinarian of Ponyville and does quite spectacularly at it,” she stated with pride on the yellow pegasus' behalf. “She even took care of a phoenix for Princess Celestia.” Looking how embarrassed Fluttershy looked at the mention of that, I suspected there was much more to the story, but again, I reserved myself.
“You both must be quite gifted,” I replied. Of course, it must help that they were already national heroes, but fame only goes so far. At least I hoped it did. Back home, there was enough celebrities that did little more than coast on their fame and a prodigious ability to ignore their own lack of talents and skills.
They both gave me a thankful smile though only Rarity's seemed to last. “Oh! We are here,” she stated before she nodded her head to the a little bistro called literally, “That Little Bistro”. This place had a knack for being literal. Either way, we made our way in. The skinny, grey stallion with a candy-pink mane in amongst the bright black and white restaurant looked positively elated to see the two.
“Good day! How are my favourite marefriends?” he said in a slightly nasal voice before giving the two a chaste, but very friendly and familiar hug before he glanced at me and gave me a rather introspective look over before he got a sly smile on his face, “And where did you find this rugged-looking stallion your with?”
Well. He was flaming.
“I am Scriber,” I replied back with a proper introduction, but I was feeling vaguely uncomfortable with how he was looking at me. “And we met at the spa.”
“Yes. He had been there by chance and we needed to speak business, so do you think we can get a private table, Hot Dish?” Rarity fibbed a bit there, but she fluttered her eyelashes to sell the story. I wouldn't mind a bit of space for what would need to be said anyways, but, from the knowing look the stallion gave me, I think he was taking that entirely in a different way.
He even winked at me. “Got it!” He then motioned for us to follow along with the three to a table that was nicely isolated from the rest in the corner.
“Don't worry about Hot Dish, Scriber. He thinks every stallion is... That way,” she said knowingly. It took me a moment to piece together what was meant by that, but when I did, I chuckled in relief.
“I suppose I should be flattered then, eh?” There were worse things, I suppose, as I settled into place across from the two. Fluttershy looked marginally more comfortable with a table and a nice flower arrangement between myself and her. And I found out then that a flower vase was the pony equivalent of a bread basket as Rarity lifted one of the flowers with her magic and daintily began to nibble at it. Even Fluttershy helped herself to one, but that was a bit much for me. Instead, I took in the simple ambiance of the place. It was clean, and well-kept. I was beginning to think that holes-in-the-wall did not exist here at all, which is a shame, because they really did have the best food in my opinion.
Speaking of home, Rarity spoke up. “As you can tell, Fluttershy is a little frightened of you. Maybe if you tell us a little more about yourself, she will relax.” She then nudged the mare's side to keep her attention. “And you must simply try one of these daisies, Scriber. They are practically as good as the meal rest of the meal.”
Not having fingers came into play, because the only way I could get one of the flowers from the pot was to commit wholesale to the act. When in Equestria, as the saying goes, and I tried one. It tasted about what I thought it would, but at least chewing the taste of grass down went quickly. “Well, for one, where I am from, we don't eat flowers.”
“Wh-where are you from where they don't eat flowers?” came a weak voice, and we both looked to Fluttershy a little shocked. She had been so quiet and only speaking when prompted, to hear her speak was a surprise. There was no simple way to answer the question, so I hummed and hawed. At least Rarity filled the air by expanding on the question.
“Yes. Please tell us, Scriber. Both Princesses were so very vague about the details of where you are from, but with that accent and that vehicle you were in, you must be from quite the distance away,” Rarity added with a lean towards me. She wanted to know too.
“Well, I can't tell you much. Royal decree and all. You understand, eh? It's really a long ways away from here though. So far, I don't know my way back.” I answered while dodging the question. “But, at the same time, this place is not as different as I would expect in someways and totally different in others.”
I would of said more but Hot Dish popped in beside us like he warped space-time to get there. “What can I get you guys?” he asked with a over-wide grin on his face.
“I think I would like some sparkling wine,” Rarity declared, in her proper sort of way.
“Green tea. If you have any that is,” Fluttershy ordered with a little more confidence than she showed with me.
I was left looking at the menu. I suspected that a diet coke was not on the menu. “Coffee, as black as my soul,” I answered in my usual joking way I would give back home. The three ponies all stared at me. Right. Ponies don't share my sense of humour. I coughed into a hoof. “Tough crowd. And a glass of water.”
Hot Dish recovered quicker than the rest. “Anything for an appetizer then?” he said, moving on in the routine.
“I think we are good,” Rarity answered for the table. She was buying so her word was law. Hot Dish made the mental notes and smiled before taking off. “Does that joke normally go better than that?”
“Well, no. But it usually doesn't get stares either. But anyways, anything else you'd like to know?”
“If you can't tell us where you are from, why don't you tell us how it was like there?” Rarity suggested. It wasn't a bad one either and both mares looked at me expectantly again.
“It was, in a word, busier. At least, busier than it is here. In both good and bad ways. More was happening. More to do and more places to go. And a lot more ponies were there too. Likely a thousand times more in the city I was from,” I replied as I tapped my chin with a hoof. They looked confused about the true scale of difference I was describing. “If you're not careful and keep moving, it was pretty easy to get ground under the gears of the world. But don't take that in a bad way. It's a good incentive to keep moving.
“As for me, I was pretty comfortable back home. I have a good mare to live with, a job I like, a nice house and even a cat that I can tolerate. Though, I would much rather get a pair of rats or rabbits,” I mused, reflecting on what I was missing, “I miss it a lot, and it's going to be a while before I can get back there.”
I am not sure how they really took all that, but Rarity was predictably the first to speak up. “It sounds like you were a pretty average stallion where you were from. I do love the accent though.” I chuckled at that. It would have to be the french one to comment first on that. “And you're taking this all so marvellously well. I know if I was away from my boutique and Opal like you, I would be in fits!”
I opened my mouth to reply when a thought smacked me in the front lobe. Why wasn't I panicking? I know I could keep composure in the moment of crisis, but normally, I would be losing it right about now. I should be ripping through the library or consulting experts, but instead, I had a bath and am now sitting down to tea. And didn't I accept the whole premise of magic using, cute-looking, pastel ponies a little quicker than I should of? This was so easy to settle into. I would of milled those thoughts more but an interruption arrived. Our drinks were set down on the table with an ease that you wouldn't expect from an earth pony.
“Your drinks, ladies and gentlecolts. Now, how about your meals?” our waiter declared with all the expected flare.
“We will have our usual,” Rarity said, and Fluttershy confirmed it with a quick little nod.
“Do you have a spinach salad? I would love one with some almonds with some olive oil and vinegar,” I tried. Believe it or not, that was my lunch more days than not anyways.
It would seem they did, because Hot Dish nodded. “Of course! We can't call ourselves a proper bistro without that on the menu, honey.” Then, he vanished in the same manner he arrived before I could question the apparent use of a pet name.
“What an odd pony,” I commented after he was gone, looking in the direction I suspected he went.
“What was that thing you came in?” came the meeker of the two mares, giving me conversational whiplash.
“Pardon?”
“That big, metal, noisy thing with the loud screaming. It was in pain,” she said softly to me, but I could see the accusation hidden under the gentle tones. She thought I was hurting my truck and wanted me to answer for it.
I leaned across the table a bit. “It's called a 'truck'. A Ford Ranger if you really want to get specific, but it's just a machine to help me carry loads and myself over long distances. As for the screaming, I think that was my music playing. The stuff I like gets loud and screamy. The style of music is called 'metal'.”
She listened and thought about that, and Rarity let her have the time too. When she continued, she sounded less shy towards me. She even stopped hiding behind her mane so much. “So, you weren't hurting it.”
“Only when I am late on an oil change. But I swear I wasn't hurting it. It's not even alive,” I promised while rearing back to cross my heart with a hoof. “But that said, the crash damaged it pretty badly. I have been scared to try and even move it.”
Fluttershy smiled at that, finally looking at ease with me. “I hope you can find help with getting it fixed then. I am afraid I am not really good at those things.”
“No worries. I am sure I can find a mechanic. Or heck, I have three months to figure it out myself,” I said before I thought about how I was committing myself to stay here at least that long. Much like other developments, it was very easy to settle into.
Rarity then spoke up. “Oh! I know this is out of the blue, but what were you wearing when you first came here? You were absolutely covered in the most dreadful clothing I have ever seen. They didn't even seem to fit you correctly. I am sure I could make the necessary alterations, if you would like.”
I recalled the misfitting clothes that were still sized for my old body. As much as I would like to have a set of work clothes I could wear here, the shape of them would be a clear give away to a seamstress that they weren't made for a pony. “Oh? Those old things were a hoof-me-down from a while back. It was about time I just got rid of them and looked for something that fit me right, but there is no rush to do that yet. Besides, I don't really have the cash for it and I really can't let myself accept anymore generosity from you. It's a bad habit to get into.”
She looked at me appraising for a moment and her horn glowed. “Oh. Of course, Scriber. Of course,” she said while obviously distracted while both Fluttershy and I looked on. I could swear I felt something disturb the fuzz on my sides all at once then, sending me into a giggling fit. It was done quickly at least, but I have never been ticklish before I got here. So that is what I had inflicted on my girl back home. I'll apologize when I get home.
“D-did you just take my measurements?” I gasped as I recovered from the magical tickling.
“Yes. Yes, I did,” she said smugly before she sipped her wine with a look of satisfaction on her face.
“No way I am getting out of getting something more from you, eh?” I replied to her in amazement.
“She's the Element of Generosity for a reason, Scriber. She wouldn't be her if she didn't do things like this,” her friend explained and Rarity gave a solemn nod to confirm that. Now that Fluttershy knew I wasn't torturing anything in my truck, she seemed much more at ease with me. There was another slight pause before she dipped her head back down. “S-sorry for using the Stare on you. I was just worried you weren't a good pony, and Twilight was hurt enough already.”
The admission and apology came out of nowhere, but it was good to hear. “It's alright. Really. If someone hit my best friend back home, and then walked into his hospital ward, I'd likely try and give him a word or two at the least. But, I am no worse for wear, and Twilight is on the mend. Things will be alright.”
“Tell me about it. I kind of miss that mare and her dragon,” Hot Dish said as he set down several dishes around the table. Once again, he had used ancient waiter tactics and skills to sneak up on their patrons and interrupted with perfect timing. “I spent all that time learning how to make sapphire and ruby cupcakes and now there is nopony coming in to eat them!” He spoke with all the urgency and passion of a true drama-queen.
“I can bring him here tomorrow. I am sure he needs a day away from the library and it would be nice,” she offered to the dramatic stallion.
He hugged her again. “Oh, see you in more than once a week too! That would be wonderful!”
While he and the mare hugged it out. I looked my salad over. It had little yellow flower heads mixed in with the familiar almonds and spinach. I carefully flicked them out to the side of the bowl. I might be a pony right now, and I might of dove in head first into the new situation, but I had to draw a line somewhere. No more eating of flowers on my watch.
The stallion switched mares, and hugged Rarity too. “So. What are his measurements?” he asked her and all three of us blushed brightly. He took that as his cue to leave the table. “I mean, enjoy the meal!” He practically pranced away in mischievous glee.
“I forgot there is a reason why I don't bring my dates here,” Rarity muttered in a perturbed annoyance at the antics she just was exposed to.
I hooked my coffee in my hoof, and raised it. “Let's not let that get in the way of a good meal, eh?” I said before I thought of a proper toast, “To Twilight's health, to our health and better times ahead.” It was a toast that was happily accepted by the two, and we sat down a surprisingly good meal together, but between the lulls of conversations, I went back to mulling about how easy this world was for me to accept.