21.
“I’d much rather deal with Discord over Hexadecimal any day of the week.”
Okay. That was a statement that cut right through the din that comes with the lunch rush at a busy cafe and brought my attention right onto Berry in full. Over the last few weeks, we had gone through Reboot’s entire run and she even started to pick up enough english from the experience that she was able to understand simple phrases. However, that was an absurd statement to make for so many reasons that I couldn’t let stand.
I lifted my head up from the half eaten sandwich, and swallowed hard. “Are you kidding? Discord is way more powerful than Hexadecimal according to everything I have read,” I reply right back to Berry and her non-sequitur.
“Yeah, but he’s not as outright cruel like her. I mean, when he came back, he was more of an massive inconvenience. A really big, reality twisting one, but he didn’t kill anypony. Hex tried to turn everything to stone and only backed off because she thought it’d be boring to actually win,” she explained then grinned at me, “Surrender to my superior reasoning.”
An actual nerd debate. And, for extra credit, she had a valid point! Be still my beating heart!
“As much as it fills me with distaste to do so, I suppose I have to concede that Hex is more evil than Discord. Point to you, but suppose we could get the Joker into the mix,” I replied with a rub of my chin.
“Don’t mention him. He’s just scary,” she said flatly with her ears pinned back. And, the poor mare just had been introduced to the animated version of the villain, and not the one from the Dark Knight. I couldn’t guess what her reaction to the “disappearing pencil” trick would be.
“That he is,” I replied before I took another bite of my sandwich. I never knew you could make an entirely vegan club sandwich before I got here, but now, it was a staple of mine, even if it did mean I had to take a little flirting from Hot Dish. After I swallowed, I continued. “But, he’s nowhere as scary as this. Got my first mail today! Two whole letters, and let me tell you, that there was very important news!”
She blinked and leaned over the table, balancing on her hooves. “What sort of news?” she asked as if it was a dire thing I was about to reveal.
“Believe it or not, but I might already be a winner in the-” I was cut off by a napkin hitting my face and with both shared a good laugh. “Alright, alright. It was a tie between ad spam and a bill. Turns out literally coming out of nowhere prevents neither from finding you.”
Berry laughed sweetly and gave a shrug. “That’s the way things go. If there is one thing that every other pony wants, its your bits.”
“It’s just a multi-universal truth,” I replied. Since Berry and I started spending more time together, we’ve realised that nopony even pays attention to what you’re saying unless you’re trying to say it in secret. I could easily hide my origin in plain sight.
“What’s the bill for anyways?” she asked before she finally took a slurp of her drink.
“It’s for some material I needed bent up for the next job I’m going to do. The stuff that I brought with me is running out, but I found this shop in Canterlot that will ship the stuff to me on the next train,” I replied, “It’s pricey though. I should just set up a shop here.”
“You should,” she quickly chimed in, with her eyes lighting up with hope, before I realised what I implied.
“You know why I can’t though, right?” I said and that light dimmed just as quickly as it came to her face. Every time it seemed I was making long term plans for myself in Equestria, she’d always get this way. Letting her down hurt the both of us every time, but we both knew the truth of the situation.
“I know,” she muttered in an attempt to resume the normal conversation, “But, it’s nice while it lasts. What do you think of it, anyways?”
“Think of what?”
“Ponyville in general. You’ve been here a month. What do you think of it here?” she clarified.
Wait. Had it been that long? I quickly tallied up the dates in my head and blinked several times as all the evidence agreed with her. It had been four weeks since I crashed through on the highway, but it still felt like yesterday to me. How did the time get away from me like that? Well, I suspect it went so fast because I was always busy over on this side of the highway with work, or spending time with new friends. “Well, I guess normal,” I answered with a half shrug before I glanced out the window.
“What is she doing?” Berry asked, as she followed my eyes to the sight. As if on cue to quash all normality, Pinkamena was making her way through town, but that wasn’t too unusual. The large desk she was pushing along, and the large black bird on her back was what was strange, even for her.
“Maybe, normal is a little too strong of a word,” I said to correct my previous statement.
“That’s just Pinkie; she doesn’t count,” retorted Berry.
“Even so, I think comfortable is a better way of putting it, now that I think about it,” I continued after the pink mare stopped being a distraction, and turned my attention back to my lunch for another bite.
She smiled at me. “Well, comfortable isn’t a bad thing.”
“That said, I’m thinking about changing things up, and getting rid of my truck. It’s broke as hell, out of gas and battery and I’m a sheet metal worker, not a mechanic. I’d still be hitchhiking when I got home at this point, and I doubt the insurance company would cover an interdimensional accident at this point. Knowing them, they likely have a rider to null the policy just incase that happens. And, the last nail is that it’s getting colder at night now. If I can get a few more jobs to work out, I could easily afford rent and have a place with a flush toilet and heated water,” I said, trying to move on from the previous subject.
“Get rid of it? Who’d even be able to use it?” she asked, looking outright surprised at that, with her eyes wide. Something told me that the gears in her head were already turning though.
“I was thinking of donating to one of Celestia’s science academies, to be honest. Just in thanks for what they are doing for me. Even in its current state, I’m thinking it’s valuable for technology to reverse engineer. You know, for the good of ponykind, and all that jazz, as token of good will from humanity,” I replied with gravatas. I think I was laying it on thick and Berry wasn’t one to care about that sort of thing in the first place.
“Well, if you did do that, you know you don’t have to rent anything. You should save your bits, and come live at my place. There’s plenty of space and it’d save me a lot of time walking,” she finally suggested and then looked up with her best innocent face she could put on.
Up until this point, we spent most of our time together at my truck or in town, mostly because I didn’t want to impose too much on anypony. Even Berry, who had tried to get me over there several times over the last few weeks, but the offer did have merit. “Tell you what. I’ll take a look at it, and if I can fit in without changing your lifestyle too much, I’ll consider it,” I finally conceded.
“Sounds great, Scri-bear,” she chimed right back with no effort to hide how pleased she was with that answer. Apparently, she was so happy with that, it warranted a new nickname for me. Now, that would not stand. I already had two names, and a third one would just make things confusing.
“I didn’t realise we were on a ‘nickname’ basis,” I replied as nonchalantly as I could, but I couldn’t hide the red in my cheeks.
“Well, I like it. You look warm and snuggly like a big teddy, hon,” Hot Dish suddenly added into the conversation as he filled our glasses and cleared any dish we weren’t using, and before we registered his arrival, he used his apparent “waiter teleportation” to vanish into the background once more.
“How does he do that?” I muttered after the stallion, only to notice he was gone. I even looked around the bustling restaurant for the stallion, but it was a fool’s errand. A waiter cannot be found until they’re ready to be found.
“I wouldn’t say it like that, but I agree with the mysterious stranger completely,” Berry said.
My eyes rolled. “I’d rather just be just Scriber,” I stated, but Berry was already upping the ante with her greatest weapons; puppy-eyes and pouty-lips. Of course I looked away Come on, will power, you can survive this.
“Pleeeeeeeeease be my Scri-bear?” she whined. I glanced back and she had her head on the table, looking plaintively up at me.
Okay, I can see that this wasn’t I fight I was about to win, so it’s time to do the civilized thing and negotiate. “Fine. But I get to give you a nickname as well.”
“Deal!” she chimed without a moment’s pause.
“Alright then. Let me think,” I replied with a tap of a hoof to my chin. There was so many possibilities and they all bounced around my head until one play on her name just fit perfectly. Even if I was home, It was one heck of an obscure reference to make, which was perfect. I liked the obscure with a passion.
“Do your worst,” she stated confidently.
“I’ll think I’ll do my best instead, Jude,” I replied to her then shot a cocky smirk. She didn’t get the joke, but that’s alright for me, because I did and that’s all that mattered. Infact, I suspected I’d be one of the very few anywhere that would get the reference.
“Jude? Is that a gryphon name? What does that mean?” she asked with her brow furrowing up rather cutely. I had no intention of enlightening her.
“Hey Jude, don’t make it bad,” I started saying, but even doing that made my voice pick up a bit of melody. Hey, I might like metal, but there was no excuse for not knowing this song.
“What are you doing?” was her deadpanned reply in the slight pause. I didn’t stop to answer her, but just found myself going from speaking in rhythm to actually singing. It was as surprising to myself as it was for her, so I was trying to keep it between us. But my voice much deeper, and it carried quite well.
Take a sad song, and make it better
Remember to let him into your heart
Then you can start to make it better
She was blinking at me at that point, and unsure how to react. “Scriber? Stop,” she squeaked out, as if she was desperately afraid of attracting the attention of the surrounding tables. I didn’t. Infact, I started tapping the beat on the table and picked up a bit more volume and several neighboring tables looked over to ours.
Hey, Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get him
The minute you let him under your skin
Then, you begin to make it better.
Sure, I made a little tweak to the lyrics, so it would fit better to the one that I was singing for, but I don’t think she would notice. Instead, the mare across from me was too busy going going from her usual grape colour to an outright red. She also couldn’t hide her amusement from the spontaneous song.
And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
Well, don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
The tapping of my hooves fell into tapping out the stronger drum line, while I found I had several neighboring ponies humming along with me. Even in a different world, The Beatles could be infectious.
Hey, Jude! Don't let me down
You have found him, now go and get him
Remember, to let him into your heart
Then, you can start to make it better.
Berry was just looking at me with this inscrutable expression that was somewhere between enamoured and totally mortified. So, I did the only logical thing and picked up the volume and stood up to properly deliver the next verse. The fact we became the center of attention at that point didn’t mean anything to me as much as getting a reaction from my friend.
So let it out and let it in, hey, Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude,
You'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder
I didn’t even notice I had several other ponies singing with me, filling in the other members of the band, and there wasn’t a single pony that wasn’t paying attention to the act.
Hey, Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let him under your skin,
Then you'll begin to make it better, better, better, better, better, better, oh!
Then came the part that everypony seemed to be waiting for, but how did they know it was coming? Magic apparently, but that wasn’t here nor there because everypony joined into the refrain now, filling the room with happy voices.
Na na na na na, na na na. Hey Jude!
I couldn’t tell you what Berry was feeling, but her eyes shimmered as they filled up with tears. For a moment, I thought I actually upset and humiliated her, then she reached out over the table and touched her hooves to mine, and we both found ourselves leaning to each other, while the rest sang. I knew I would regret this, but, this felt like an once in a lifetime moment and anything less would be wasting it. Then we-
*TWEEEEEEET!*
The shrill blast of a policepony’s whistle cut right through the voices, and broke the moment for everypony in the place. The music died instantly when those singing the chorus looked around for the source of the distraction, and we pulled apart quickly, much to my simultaneous dismay and relief, to join them in the search.
“That’s enough. Calm down, everypony. Go back to your business,” Officer Cuffs loudly ordered while he made his way over to our table.
Crap. Him again? He had been leaving me alone ever since the Princesses reminded him to leave me alone, but here he was again. I took a deep, long breath and put on my best forced smile. “Good afternoon, Officer. What can I do for you?” I said in a tone that dripped with false sincerity. In the back of my head, I envisioned delivering a blow that totally shattered the red pegasus’s nose. That should help me keep smiling.
“Well, for one, you could stop with the clear noise violation,” he said dryly back at me. “But, I think this is a little worse than just that. Maybe, criminal mischief should be the charge.”
I stared at the pony with bewildered comprehension, and Berry’s just looked livid to the point of trembling. “Know what? Whatever. Just write me a ticket and get on with being miserable somewhere else,” I finally sighed. It’s a shame because I was having such a nice time up until twenty seconds ago.
“No, Scriber, don’t just say that! He’s been harassing you since you got here, and it’s not fair! You’re a good stallion and don’t let Cuffs tell you any different!” she snapped at the both of us.
“Now, now Berry. I’m just looking out for everypony’s best interests here, just like how I’d make sure you didn’t end up sleeping outside all of those times. I could’ve been charging you with vagrancy all those times instead,” he said calmly, and that one reminder cut into her. She even whimpered and that is not something I’ll stand for. “So, what I’d like to do is get you to-”
“Yeah, I going to stop you there,” I interjected sharply, “I’m going to tell you no to whatever you’re about to say. You’re not going to write me a ticket. You’re not going to haul my flank back to the station to satisfy your delusions, and I’m not going to sit here and listen to you anymore. I’m going to do what I should of done as soon as I got here.”
He actually looked dumbfounded to see me actually standing up for myself, but I think I was standing up more for Berry. If there was one thing I could say for certain since my arrival here is that she didn’t deserve to be hurt. “Threatening an officer is crime,” he replied coolly after his composure returned to him.
“What are you talking about? I’m going to write a letter to whoever is your boss and he can sort you out. Especially since I’m pretty sure that the princesses told you to back off of me!” I spat right back at him. Once again, we were the center of attention, but this time the crowd didn’t like what they were seeing. I huffed once. “Come on Berry. Let’s get going.”
“Excuse me,” said another pony calmly. I think we all heard him, but chose to ignore the plea.
“You’re not leaving here, Scriber!” the officer barked at me as he spread a wing to block the door.
“Excuse me,” repeated the voice.
“I’d like to see you stop me!” I taunted back as I moved to go around the stallion. Berry was already getting up to join me in leaving the place, and she didn’t look any happier.
“Excuse me, Gentlecolts!” the pony yelled and we both looked over to see Hot Dish standing there, looking quite displeased with the whole situation. “Thank you! Now, this is my restaurant, and I’m not having a fight here! Scriber wasn’t being any sort of a problem. In fact, there wasn’t any sort of issues until you showed up and if this is what you been doing to him, I’ve got half a mind to file a complaint about you myself! Now get out!”
The sentiment began going through the crowd at that point with murmured agreements while, much to my amazement, everypony here started turning against him. Without the support of the crowd, the officer’s expression moved into frustrated anger and with nothing more than a snort, he turned tail and left. As soon as he passed the door, he took to wing and flew off. It was very tempting to snipe him on the way out with, but I just sighed and let myself relax as much as I could. That brief encounter made swung my mood entirely around.
“Good riddance!” called Hot Dish after the stallion.
“You okay, Scriber?” Berry asked, as she touched my shoulder.
“I’m fine. He shouldn’t of brought you into our fight,” I replied, still looking at the door, “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Standing up for me? Or, are you apologizing for being something than a doormat?” she said as she canted her head to the side. She was honestly confused that I was apologizing. Didn’t she see me making the whole situation worse just a few seconds ago? Cuffs was being his usual self, but I should’ve kept my mouth shut and not escalate the whole thing.
“I’m not sorry either of those things,” I muttered, before I adjusted my hat. “I just don’t want to see you hurt because of my situation here.”
Other than a sad, worried smile, she didn’t have anything to say to that, so our host chimed in. “You know, cutie. You’re welcome here anytime, but I don’t bring that jerk next time,” Hot Dish said, putting a slip of paper on the table while he spoke.
“Wasn’t exactly our idea to have him show up,” Berry answered for me, before she flicked over the slip. Her attention turned to me, “Do you want me to get this one?”
I patted my vest where I kept my bits, and there was a notable lack of coins jangling against one another. I wasn’t broke, but closer than I’d like to be. “That might be for the best, but I’ll get you back, alright?”
“Wasn’t your game last night? Usually, you’ve got cash the day after,” she said, without a hint of annoyance in her voice. She just went into her little bag and casually started setting aside the payment and tip on the table.
I huffed because I did feel disgraced to admit what happened. “Turns out that that the gang learns a little quicker than I’d like. At least I got to see Big Mac in the stupidest-looking balaclava and sunglasses I’ve ever seen, but it’s Inspector Lyra that is holding the current championship. She stares right into your soul and misses nothing at all. It’s kind of creepy.”
“And, what did you expect? For them to keep letting you take their money? Turnabout is fair play, Scriber,” she laughed as she finished building that little stack of coins. She never seemed to lack them, though she never treated them frivolously, she always spent them with ease.
“It’d be nice if they let me keep taking their money,” I muttered, and all I got back was a little giggle from the mare. One would think she didn’t really care about my plight.
Hot Dish did his trick of appearing where he was needed once more to take the payment. “I’d hope that this didn’t put you off of my diner,” he said to the both of us in the most apologetic sort of way.
“Nah. You can’t be blamed for that moron. He’s just got a bit of a hard-on for getting on my case,” I said with a shrug, and a moment later, I noticed the idiom failed totally to translate to the stallion, leaving him with a furrowed brow.
“What he means is that Officer Cuffs and him don’t exactly get along,” Berry explained.
“Well, in that case, I hope to see you back soon, cutie,” Hot Dish replied with his usual chipper attitude returning to him. I sighed at the compliment, and got up. Berry did too, and we both made our way to the door.
“So, when’s the wedding?” she teased as soon as she was sure the waiter was out of earshot. Her grin was very bright.
“Har, har,” I deadpanned right back at her, “You’re just jealous.”
“Of him? Nah. You’re coming home with me,” she pointed out as she stepped out ahead to lead the way to her home.
I had to give her that point, and began to follow her along. We filled the air with chatter about human fiction and history, the legends of Equestria and how they differed and matched up. The walk was getting to be much longer than I expected, but I only realised that as we passed the sign that marked the town. The only thing ahead of us looked like a manor that was complete with a wrought iron-gate and a stone wall. She was too down to earth to live there, but then why were we heading in that direction, then? I glanced at her, then back to the house. She must have noticed my surprise because she stopped in her tracks and looked like she was near a panic attack. Her eyes were filled with worries that weren’t there moments ago and all of it was directed towards me.
“You got to promise that that this isn’t going to change anything between us, Scriber,” she said with
“That’s your house?” I incredulously asked.
“Scriber. N-nothing’s changed. I’m still just Berry, right? I just don’t like ponies thinking about me as that “spoiled rich mare” and you’re the only one that didn’t do that,” she pleaded with me with her eyes down and her ears pinned back.
“I know nothing’s changed, but I didn’t expect this. I mean, you said a couple of things here and there, but you’ve got to be pretty well off to afford that house. Why didn’t you want to meet there? It looks so much nicer than my truck,” I said with a point of my hoof in the direction of the building.
“It was something different for me! Before you came along, I was either home or at the bar,” she snapped right back at me.
I blinked at her reaction. I must of touched a nerve but I had no idea what. “Easy Berry! I’m not trying to pick a fight, but you should be proud of all that. You must-”
“It’s not mine. It was my parents’,” she interrupted before she took a deep breath that was shakily let out. “I’m sorry, Scriber. I’m just worried that you’ll see me like everypony else.”
The road to her home was deserted and so, I sat on my haunches. This needed to be dealt with right now. “Well, talk to me. I’m not going to see you any different just because you’ve got some money, but you think I will.”
“Well, yes. I mean, no,” she said in a fluster, before I put a hoof on her side. The touch silenced her.
“Relax. I’m here. Just talk.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “I didn’t think you’d look at me different, but so many other ponies did, and when you started looking at that house like that, I got scared. It’s been like that for years.”
If there was one thing that confused me about Berry, it was why she was so isolated from the rest of the ponies of the town, but I stayed quiet as she continued to talk.
It looked hard for her to even be speaking, because she had to take another deep breath for every sentence. “It started when my parents died a few years back. I was just out of school and well, they were old.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said softly, unsure how to react to that.
“It’s alright. It was just their time. Dad went first, and a couple weeks later, mom went too. They just left me alone, but my dad thought of everything. He took his company and set it up so I wouldn’t want for anything while it ran itself. I didn’t need to do anything other than sign the occasional paper, and that was a good thing, I guess. I didn’t need anything and no other ponies wanted anything from me. I got lonely, so I started partying. Big, wild affairs that’d make Pinkie jealous,” she said, without once looking up from the ground.
“Didn’t that help?” I asked.
“At first, I thought it did,” she scoffed. “That wasn’t true though. They were just coming for the party. Most of them didn’t even know who I was or anything. By Tartarus, if they didn’t care, why invite them? I was sitting alone in a corner drinking already, so why not just keep on doing that without spending the bits to get them all there. I stopped throwing the parties, and ponies stopped caring about what I was doing. After all, I’ve got all I want over here, right? That’s what they think. I’ve got everything. Just not a pony that needs me, or wants me around.”
I didn’t know how to react to that. “Berry, if you’re worried that I’ll stop spending time with you just because I found out you have money, get that out of your head. Between, you Merlot and Twilight, I’ve got no other ponies around that I can talk freely with. And, Twilight treats me like a science experiment and Merlot sees me as a client.”
“So, I’m like your last resort?” she muttered.
“What I’m saying is that you’re unique, and, while I’m here, I need you. You’re the one that’s keeping me sane. You let me vent, and keep me company and you’ve been nicer than you had to be. If things turn out badly, you make me feel like there’s a future for me here,” I said. There was more I wanted to say, but to say it wasn’t fair to her or myself, so I did my best to keep those thoughts down.
She finally lifted her gaze from that spot on the ground and to me. “It’s just nice to be needed for once. I don’t want to mess it up” she said softly.
“Don’t worry about that. You won’t. It’s all alright,” I replied, as I wrapped a hoof around her and hugged her. It didn’t matter that we were at the side of the road; we could help each other here.