Paul's Thursday Reviews CXXXVI · 8:48pm Oct 25th, 2018
No reviews next week folks. Break time.
If there’s anything I didn’t expect, it was for Drops of Jupiter to be in the Feature Box for a few days. I’m not complaining or anything, but it does make me wonder; have I reached that point where anything I write will end up being featured thanks to my burgeoning follower count? Granted, it took me five-and-a-half years of work to reach this point, so it’s certainly rewarding if that’s the case. At the same time, it severely lessens the ‘wow’ factor of being featured. I mean, that’s my 18th feature, and my 4th one in a row.
But y’know, just this morning I got an IM from a new user. They were anxious and wanted me to review their only story so far. It was interesting, as I recall the time when I was that anxious new user nobody had heard of trying to make my mark. If the parasprite hadn’t noticed me and done her part to introduce and promote me to people, would I be here with ~1,250 followers, a long-running review blog and 18 features under my belt? I’m not sure. Perhaps. I’ve done plenty of my own party wagon pulling.
I don’t know, I’m just rambling. But this morning did give me a sudden appreciation for all those people who have helped me get here, be they editors, critics, or even simple fans who keep coming back to prop me up. Some of them I’ve come to consider friends, even if my horrible social skills means I only talk to them occasionally. So let me just take this moment to thank you. Yes, you. All of you. Yes, even you, Mr. Downvote-As-Soon-As-Paul-Releases-A-New-Story (don’t think I don’t see you there). You’re all awesome and I’m grateful to have had you all in my life, even if it’s only in a peripheral, hit-the-follow-button-and-disappear kind of way. You people helped make me what I am today, and I like what I am today.
Now if I can translate all that success into regular publication…
Enough of this! *best Sulky Aria impression* To the reviews.
Stories for This Week:
Together Forever by Snake Staff
Forever and Again and Again by Titanium Dragon
The Mysterious Misadventures of Sassaflash by Desavlos
“Cumin,” Sighed Rainbow Dash by GroaningGreyAgony
The Hanging Hat by Snowybee
Precious Gem by OleGrayMane
Closing Time by MalWinters
A Change of Seasons by Portmeirion
Hearth by Tramper
She's Shimmering by ellie_
Total Word Count: 68,209
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 6
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
Together Forever
38,307 Words
By Snake Staff
It’s been centuries since the events of the show, and CadanceCadence is still Princess of the Crystal Empire. Curiously, Shining Armor is still her Prince-Consort. How, you might ask? Basically, CadanceCadence discovered a spell of dark magic and, with Twilight’s assistance, used it to seal Shining’s soul in a crystal golem. Sure, he can’t feel, smell, eat, or reproduce, but he’s still able to perform his royal duties and be a husband. Yet CadanceCadence has a plan, one which will hopefully allow Shining to escape his heartless prison and become a full-fledged stallion again. She just made the mistake of not telling Celestia…
This may be one of the most interesting ‘immortality sucks’ stories I’ve ever read. We get to witness CadanceCadence’s apparent love-induced madness as she works tirelessly to save her understandably depressed husband from the fate she arranged for him. At the same time, we see the loathing her ponies have for Shining’s physical form and the constant, if quiet, calls for her to do away with him. And poor Shining Armor, living in a constant state of misery due to the nature of his existence, is tragic to watch.
Then things get thrown for a loop when Snake Snaff drops the second bomb of this story: Tyrant Celestia, and a surprisingly believable one at that. The Celestia we meet here is elitist, superpowered, and a supreme chessmaster who will do anything to protect mortals, even if it means crushing them – or Family – like bugs under her gold-shod hoof.
This is a story full of emotion, vicious schemes, questions of morality, and a tense climax. It takes long-established and oft-disdained tropes of the fandom and makes them fresh and interesting again. It’s as fun as it is worrying, with each chapter gradually raising the stakes and the intensity to a conclusion that left me wanting more.
Oh, look, is that a sequel I see? 
Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed this. It may be one of the best CadanceCadence-centric stories I’ve ever read, and I’m looking forward to more. Give it a go and be patient; it may seem slow at first, but when it gains steam you may have trouble looking away.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Djinni's Tale — Pretty Good
Three Goddesses, the Apple, and the Stallion — Pretty Good
Forever and Again and Again
4,384 Words
By Titanium Dragon
Titanium Dragon turns the ‘Immortality Sucks’ trope against itself in this brief story in which newly-coronated Princess Twilight comes upon Celestia’s private collection of stained glass windows. In one she sees a pony from six hundred years ago who looks startlingly familiar.
This was a pleasant little one-on-one between two princesses, one of whom has been harboring a secret for quite some time. It takes an interesting approach, having Celestia look upon the subject of immortality and death with a playful air. In a way, I think the entire story is designed to subvert the common trope by making light of a subject usually resorting to somber misery – but without taking away from the seriousness of the subject. Which is impressive.
About the only complaint I have, and one which I consider subjective, is that I can’t tell if Twilight gets what Celestia is saying or remains in the dark by the end despite the copious hints dropped. I’d like to think that she got the implications, but TD remains subtle on the subject. I don’t think that bit of mystery takes away from the story at all, it’s just something I wish I knew.
Overall, I am quite pleased with this. It takes one of the oldest concepts in the history of storytelling and makes it something fresh and interesting, with additional bits of history and pleasant look at Celestia as an individual. Not a bad story at all, if I do say so.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Famous Last Words — Pretty Good
Mistletrapped — Pretty Good
The Butterfly's Burden — Pretty Good
The Mysterious Misadventures of Sassaflash
4,132 Words
By Desavlos
As all true Otaku know (or former Otaku in my case), the magical place Pinkie Pie pulls all her random stuff from is known as Hammerspace. Sassaflash, Ponyville’s local sarsaparilla brewer and provider for Pinkie Parties, does not know this, but she is very curious. So when an opportunity falls into her lap to ask about it, she takes it. What she doesn’t expect is for Pinkie to directly show her the place, or for Pinkie to come along for the ride, or for Pinkie to have no idea how to get back out. It’s gonna be a long night.
Powered by an ever-witty (sometimes too witty) narrative, this is a silly story designed for the sole purpose of revealing where the heck Pinkie stores all her stuff all the time. There’s not much to it aside from the usual Pinkie Pie antics and a brief moment of genuine danger. Oh, and a Cheese Sandwich cameo, but really, that was inevitable. I’m perfectly okay with all of this. The constant stream of narrative playfulness kept me smiling (well, except for the spheres rhyme, that one just confused).
Nothing to complain about here, folks. Give it a read if you feel like having a little Pinkie-related fun.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
EDIT: But wait! Spike can do this too! Sequel fuel?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Pinkie Pie's Foray into Absent-Minded Treason — Worth It
“Cumin,” Sighed Rainbow Dash
1,065 Words
By GroaningGreyAgony
Well. That was… spectacularly pointless.
Okay, so there’s a lot of innuendo in there. Okay, so it’s all a big prank against the reader. Okay, so I have no idea how any of this is supposed to be funny. Throwing a dozen potentially misunderstood statements with absolutely zero indication that this is going to be that kind of story isn’t funny, it sure as heck didn’t trick me into thinking anything was going to happen, and the innuendo was altogether pretty boring. I mean, I know what cumin is and how it’s pronounced, so no, I was not confused by the title. Yes, yes, I saw all those other references not at all related to the title.
Unless there’s some deeper prank I’ve totally missed (and I’ll grant that’s a possibility), I found this dumb at the very best. It appears most people who read this enjoy it. Clearly I’m in the minority, so take this as you will.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Riverdream at Sunset: a Manuscript — WHYRTY?
The Hanging Hat
6,069 Words
By Snowybee
If Snowybee likes anything, it’s being indirect. So it’s no surprise that in this story we find Applejack on her deathbed and facing the Pale Horse, whose intentions are nothing but a mystery. The story acts as a review of the most important moments of AJ’s life, from the death of her parents to her relationship with her wife, Rainbow Dash.
Ironically, I’d say this is the most direct story by Snowybee I’ve ever read. The purpose is clear, the conclusion solid. There’s still a little mystery and strangeness in the overarching style, but in this case it serves to act as flavoring to the atmosphere rather than a bout of confusing “what the heck just happened?” We get to know Applejack, we learn a bit about the nature of Equestria’s afterlife – though much remains shrouded in mystery – and we have a pleasing final moment.
This story is atmospheric, which I’ve come to expect and appreciate from this author. But it is also easy to follow, which is not what I’ve come to expect. It’s clear to me that Snowybee is refining her characteristic and quirky writing style, and I am so very happy to see it so. This story – heck, this author – deserves a lot more attention.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
From the Flames in the Firelight — WHYRTY?
Violet Blues — WHYRTY?
Precious Gem
3,938 Words
By OleGrayMane
Going into this one, I expected it to be another ‘immortality sucks’ story. Instead, it ended up a review of the life of Rarity and her relationship with Spike as he grew older and much, much bigger.
This was an emotional and heavily atmospheric piece, avoiding direct names and dialogue in favor of maintaining a constant aura of shifting moods, nostalgia, and sadness. The vast majority of it involves Spike recalling all the little, important moments of their relationship. It is notable that it does all of this in a format that would send your average writer scrambling to use exposition but never really touches it. That might confuse people. Some might suggest that the entire story is a giant piece of exposition.
I would disagree. Exposition requires giving long, boring details. OleGreyMane does none of that, only feeds us a steady stream of visuals and scenes that the we must interpret for ourselves. And for handling the story in this way, I thoroughly approve.
This story is a number of things. An exploration of Spike’s adult life. A celebration of Rarity’s. A sad look at the race of ponies and their xenophobia. While the entire story has a sad atmosphere hovering over it, it felt altogether bittersweet. Heck, I’d go so far as to call the ending hopeful.
All in all, a great addition to my bookshelves. This is a great story in a great many ways, and I happily encourage you all to read it.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Pioneer — WHYRTY?
Lost — Pretty Good
Closing Time
4,719 Words
By MalWinters
Recommended by Pascoite
When Pinkie Pie hoodwinked Roma into letting Fluttershy have a tomato for cheap in Putting Your Hoof Down, she unintentionally set in motion a chain of events leading poor Roma to the road of homelessness. Too stubborn to accept the charity of others and facing inevitable defeat, Roma has no idea that her fellow market ponies are out to solve her problem for her. And that starts with confronting the party pony who started this mess to begin with…
This little tale of wish fulfillment does a surprisingly good job relating Roma to the reader despite the very short wordcount available to do so. In fact, I think that may be what I most like about this story; it goes through all the right steps in a compact manner without sacrificing anything or making the story feel rushed. I felt for Roma. I appreciated her relationship, mixed though it was, with her fellow market ponies. I watched as Pinkie got involved and helped solve the problem. And it all flowed with a remarkable smoothness. The one and only thing missing in all of this is a lack of closure for the Raindrops issue, but if that’s it then I’m still impressed.
If I had anything resembling a proper complaint, it’s that the solution MalWinters devises for the situation is impossible to believe. You mean Roma’s been in business here for long enough to be recognized as a regular member of the market and nobody knew about her product? Is there some competition we don’t know about? If so, why is everyone abandoning said competition at the drop of a hat (or card, in this case)? Was she just crappy at advertising? If her tomatoes are that good, shouldn’t the customers she did have and their families have spread the word? Yeah, this solution makes no sense whatsoever.
But ignoring that, this is a pleasant little story about one mare getting help from unexpected sources in unexpected ways. It’s a fantastically paced, character-driven slice-of-life. Of course, it is a slice-of-life, so bear that in mind. I’d love to see what this author could do with another genre.
Bookshelf: Prettty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
A Change of Seasons
2,234 Words (Incomplete)
By Portmeirion
Recommended by paul
I was a little miffed that paul recommended an incomplete story to me. We all know I’m not fond of those. But it’s clear that the author has no intention of finishing it (indeed, it appears they’ve abandoned the site altogether), so why not? Then I read the tory and…
I think it’s safe to say that it being incomplete is of no consequence whatsoever. We end up with a very short story starring the fillies Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash one Hearth’s Warming Eve as they share an unexpected but very welcome moment of friendship. It works so well that the lone chapter easily holds its own as a standalone story. Which makes sense; I get the feeling this was intended to be an anthology rather than a single long-running piece.
This is a pleasant but bittersweet short featuring a filly desperate for some kind of affection and another who is willing to grant it. It’s a touching little piece, even if it takes a little too long to get to its point, and definitely something worth reading for the ten minutes it takes. If not for one little detail it would even hold up to modern canon (darn you, canon!). By all means, sacrifice a little time and give it a go.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
During a winter’s day of heavy snow, Fluttershy sits with Angel Bunny by her fireplace and ponders the nature of her life.
This feels very much like a sister story to A Small Moment, with Fluttershy as the focus instead of Rarity. I also liked it a lot more, perhaps because I think Tramper caught Shy’s personality much better than they did Rarity’s. It’s still got some depressing elements to it and still ends the scene with a pleasant note. In fact, I’d say it’s structurally identical. Which, of course, leads to the catch that this isn’t really a story so much as it is a random scene with little purpose other than to listen in on Fluttershy’s random thoughts.
An improved character study, but still little more than that. Even so, an improvement’s an improvement, and I’m pleased with the story overall. Maybe it’s a bias thing. Maybe it’s because I don’t agree with the prior story’s interpretation of Rarity, but am okay with this one’s interpretation of Fluttershy. Would that be considered subjective? Perhaps. Regardless, I came away from this one a little happier, and so will rate it accordingly.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Substance — Pretty Good
You Got Me —Pretty Good
A Small Moment — Needs Work
Making My Mark — Needs Work
She's Shimmering
1,187 Words
By ellie_
Sequel to She's Dazzling
Here we return to ellie_’s (untagged) AU in which the Dazzlings do tours and Sunset is a raving Adagio fan. This story returns to the same concert as its predecessor, retelling the events from Adagio’s perspective to reveal that she’s just as much a fan of Sunset as Sunset is of her. Acknowledging she doesn’t understand her own feelings and refusing to give any outward sign that they exist, Adagio nonetheless longs for the fan who appears at every. Single. Show.
This one doesn’t have quite the evocative power of its predecessor, but it’s still a strong piece overall. Less a story and more a scene built on atmosphere, it does a delightful job of bringing out Adagio’s sensual, predatory nature that I’m a big fan of. The story lacks the same aura of She’s Dazzling, though, perhaps because Adagio’s delivering the moment instead of receiving it. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one.
Regardless, I still thoroughly enjoyed this, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the sequel will bring.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
She's Dazzling — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Week:
Prince Blueblood vs. the World by Exilo
Fine Tuning by Tayman
Beatrix, Harbinger of Annoyance by TheBrianJ
A Fitting End by anonpencil
Lost in Paradise by NaiadSagaIotaOar
AND THEN! by KorenCZ11
Daily by LimeAttack
Paper Boats by Enter Madness
Another Day in Ponyville by AnOrdinaryWriter
Habits of the Equestrian Phoenix by Novel-Idea
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I never would have pegged you as a former otaku.
Damn, you found some real good ones this time! :D
4957997
Yeah, he's totally still otaku material, isn't he?4957997
My sister was big into anime and sorta dragged me into it. I never hit her level of fangasming, but I saw tons of anime. Heck, my very first fanfic was for Fushigi Yugi. Once she stopped being a constant influence on my life, anime and Japanese culture also faded, so that now it’s mostly just a fond memory. Nowadays anime is still among my favorite style of art, but I only ever watch an anime if someone (usually my sister) strongly recommends it to me. I think the most recent one I’ve seen is the original Madoka Magica.
Highlight of that age in my life: seeing T.M. Revolution performing live at Otakon in 2003.
4958012
Indeed I did!
4958016
Excellent stuff with some very lovely art! If that's your usual taste in anime, and you don't mind manga, I'd recommend Oyasumi Punpun for more in the vein of dark themes, lovely art, and vibrant characters. While there's no fantasy setting, you might enjoy the surreal elements to it, and the prominent symbolism.
Okay, there are at least a couple here for the RiL list. Damn you, I'm trying to get that down! The Cadance (hah) one is a definite, and I might join you in compromising on my "Complete fics only" stance for the FlutterDash friendshipping one.
Though I think it's even harder for new writers now, simply because we're long past the peak of the fandom. I think it's safe to say that, short of something truly exceptional happening, nobody who joined Fimfiction in the last year or two will ever have a four-figure follower count, no matter how brilliant and prolific a writer they are. Those days are gone. This applies to the wider fandom as well, of course: how many people have gone from little-known to well-known in the course of this year? I can think of precisely one: Round Trip, the guy who does the "...in a Nutshell" videos. That's it.
Only one I've read is the one I recommended, and yeah, my main hang-up with it was how oblivious everyone was to the concept of advertising. Other than that, it was a cute story.
Oh, and... it's not that significant to make the feature box anymore. For some reason, that was something I never cared to keep track of, so I have no idea how many of my stories have made it, and the group that's supposed to automatically include those doesn't seem to work that well. But anybody with at least decent-sized following or an unusual story idea/good cover art, and who posts at one of the better times to get readers can reliably make it in there.
Most of all, it is really, really, really old. Technically, it’s the second piece of fiction I ever wrote.
Thank you: it was meant to be.
Lastly, besides thank you for reading this chestnut, ain’t Smells Like Beer’s art fantastic? Honestly, I don’t think he’s alive, but the work left behind on DA is amazing.
Thanks for the review; I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I was definitely trying to do something different with the subject matter, and it was in part a general response to the general "immortality sucks" tropes, as well as what I thought an immortal like Celestia (who is a generally cheerful and positive person) would think of such things. I'm glad you approved of what I was doing with it. I like more positive stories about immortality.
Though my immediate inspiration was "Forever and Again"; I basically came up with the core idea of this story when I read that one and thought that it would be fun if that story wasn't "our" Twilight, and then decided that hey, it's the world of fanfiction, I can write it.
I need to get back into the swing of FIMFiction; I've been gone for far too long.
4958025
I haven't read much manga, even back when I was big into anime. That said, I really enjoyed the NaNa series. I'll look your suggestion up.
4958039
I feel your pain. I've been actively avoiding throwing stories on my own RiL, even if they look interesting, just for the sake of winding down my overall number. It's been going... slowly.
I don't know, I think it's still possible to hit that magic 1-oh-oh-oh. It'll just take a lot longer and require a lot more dedication. Which means it probably won't happen because, let's face it, who has enough of that? It is a shame, though. This is also one of the reasons I'm seriously considering branching out into reviewing original fiction in addition to fanfiction (another reason to start winding down my RiL is preparation for that).
4958079
Well I never worry about 'when' I post in the day, but I at least try to do well with the other elements. I imagine having less overall competition is another important aspect of that.
4958097
Only your second fic 'ever'? If that's true then paint me impressed. Acrylic paints, if you please.
I didn't realize the cover artist had a DA page. I will have to investigate. I also didn't notice what appears to be Canterlot in the background until I blew the image up slightly for this blog, which in turn made me take a much closer look at the dragon. I honestly thought before hand that it was just a random fantasy image, rather than pony-related. Unless I'm reading too much into the apparent similarities, of course.
4958217
I suppose I'll have to read Forever and Again at some point just to know what's going on there, although I think I get the idea just from casual conversation.
And yes, you should stick around. Nobody should ever fully abandon FIMFiction, lest the pony mafia come after them with loaded pies.
4958275
That’s Spike; that’s Canterlot. Just click on the image to take you to “Can You Still Remember Me”: https://www.deviantart.com/smellslikebeer/art/Can-You-Still-Remember-Me-328110861 He’s got a whole series of MLP related artworks in that style. And no, the art didn’t inspire the story: a Schleich dragon, a blind bag Rarity, and the wiki on the Japanese bone picking ceremony did that.
But back to SLB: he was in desperate states, mentally, financially. I emailed several times asking about that work in particular, if the original existed and if I could help him out by buying it and others. I never got a reply. Some of his last posts (now deleted) were about living in a car and a suicide attempt. The final one opened up commissions—then silence.
4958270
I think that's why it won't happen. G4 just doesn't have enough time left. Assuming Hasbro doesn't do a 180, all the signs are that S9 will be the end of FiM and G5 will follow in fairly short order. Combine that with the fact that story submission numbers here on Fimfiction are much lower than they once were (except for M-rated stories...) and I don't think 1,000 is realistic any more.
4958039
From a cursory glance, there are at least two Accounts from the past 2 years-or-so with more than 1k subscribers: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/291894/Some+Leech (Joined 2017) and https://www.fimfiction.net/user/265130/Queen+Sanguine+Dreams (Joined 2016). There are probably others, so I still think that there is some space for new-comers to get decent sized audiences.
I think it is interesting that neither of those, or many of the 1k+ followers accounts in that regard, are writers I ever heard about. This tells me that there is a probably a huge gulf between certain segments of the fandom, and what I would broadly call the "write-off adjacent" group. Bad Horse did some statistical analysis of follower groups quite a while ago, and I wonder what we would see if we did something similar nowadays.
4959821
Probably a silly question, but how did you find that out? I have a vague recollection that there used to be a list of "Most-followed members" or something, but I can't find it now.
Some Leach seems to write exclusively clop, and M-rated stories haven't had the same decline in submissions that E- and T-rated ones have. That being so, I'm not entirely surprised they'd be the author to prove me wrong. Queen Sanguine Dreams has had a year longer, but with their more varied output I'd say they were the more interesting example of the two. Must investigate!
Oh, undoubtedly, and not just in fanfic. At UK PonyCon the other week, there was a panel about pony toys and such by three young women named MLP Fever, AliceLPS and MLPstopmotion. I'd barely heard of any of them, but their combined YouTube subscriber count is well over half a million. They're a big deal, just not in the same areas I take much of an interest in.
4959912
4959821
I'm interested in knowing this too, if only for curiosity's sake.
4959935
4959912
1-) Do an empty search for users
2-) On the right hand side, you can change your ordering from the default "Relevance" to "Followers"
After that, I just went down the list of most followed clicking on names I didn't recognize and found those two. Actually found a bunch of other names from 2014 and 2015 which I had never heard about as well, including this guy from 2015, who has an incredibly popular HiE self-insert series which, again, I had never even heard about.
4959970
Thanks! I did't even realise you could do that.
4959970
4959983
Dang, that's a lot of names I've never heard of before. I may have to add a few stories to my lists...