Male. Young adult. Brony. Favorite pony, Luna. Favorite villian, Discord.
Page generated in 0.306 seconds
Total duration
619 users online
1,005,266 hits today, 2,328,677 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Yikes.
This is sort of relevant to my interests. Also, I prefer Twilight unvivisected This is based on the Clop Bin chapter, right?
-edit- only noticed the reference to the Clop Bin just now
Twilight is a changeling. Made by ShadowStalker. This is gonna be good.
I'll keep an eye on this I guess. A little too much dialogue for me and still needs a once over for simple things like "Princess, i need to send six letters. I need my friends here."
And Rainbow Dash is two words.
Also, loosed means to release. You were looking for loosened. This sentenceShe loosed her grip before quietly letting go.' effectively says "She released her grip before quietly releasing her grip."
And it's a little difficult to follow her memories when Celestia is reading them. Maybe put them in italics or something. I dunno.
Sorry for so much criticism, but I like contributing some how. Even if it's terrible contributions. I'm withholding my thumb for now, but if your second chapter is just a touch more polished, you'll get a thumb up from me. Favoriting so I know when to check. Good luck!
well i liked the story personally please continue with this story... it is... interesting
Nice take on a classic Faves liked and am watching intently.
Also Daaaw explosion
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m121w0OURn1qm02wmo1_400.gif
cheezburger.com/6848482304
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/208/183/90298%20-%20animated%20artist%253Atomdantherock%20artist%253Avalcron%20celestia%20filly%20gif%20luna%20spinning.gif?1322379782
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/22/yrf5IBYtdUm8rMAH8IAevg2.gif
s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/175/676/59938%20-%20applejack%20artist%253AEternal-Equilibrium%20cute%20fluttershy%20mane_cast%20mane_six%20pinkie_pie%20rainbow_dash%20rarity%20twilight_sparkle.jpg?1316398013
applejack.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134919105269.png
google.com/imgres?hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=vkf&sa=X&tbo=d&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1760&bih=924&tbm=isch&tbnid=jFyNvk4YB-tJEM:&imgrefurl=http://beavernator.deviantart.com/art/I-Boop-Your-Nose-299774364&docid=diIh9CwmxqG8UM&imgurl=http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/124/8/a/i_boop_your_nose_by_beavernator-d4yh7do.png&w=800&h=1000&ei=gcGpUO2tBcfc2AWu8YH4Aw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=532&vpy=280&dur=245&hovh=251&hovw=201&tx=132&ty=142&sig=107461383840504121338&page=1&tbnh=132&tbnw=106&start=0&ndsp=46&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:0,i:112
1772861
Meant to add this one just got it to work
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/12/5/b7hTzuUdkU6NzA0RygsgKw2.jpg
thank you for writing this. As much as i love loyal2-1's stories, the ending of that particular one was really, really dark, and this is much better.
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkhn0zwAsJ1qhejp9o1_500.png
That's pretty dark. Eh, I'll put it in read later.
1772861Guh...dwah.....GAHH!!!!!!!! *head violently explodes*
Twilight gets raped.........okay, sure.....LETS READ THIS!!
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/011/113/killyourselves.png
@ Creed Miles
Thank you
@ Creed Miles
Thank you
Btw how do I continue to down vote?
YAY!! Update!
of course rainbow would be that one to attack her. im honestly not sure why i didnt see that one coming. probably reading too many dash fics where shes secretly a softy. also
that was hilarious!
She did it . . .
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc9gqci3Ix1qivlnqo1_400.gif
what story is this related to?
1778497 Loyal's clop bin, the Test subject chapter. He gave me permission to continue on that.
1778504
so, i should read that first?
1778525 Probably, it would help clear some details up.
1778536
ill do that then, changeling twi non-oneshot stories are rare, which is a bit sad since i love them so much.
She's so brave ...
1778536 hey im not complaining or any thing on the contrary i love your stories but it does seem that you are downplaying the twilight gets raped aspect. Now i realize that this is your story and a good one at that but my personal recommendation would be to show the pain that comes from this event. once again just a suggestion that has no bearing on how much i love your story (which is a lot).
good opening. a little rushed with some of the reactions though
golden (nice to see spike taking twi's transformation in strides for once)
i have to say, the reactions of shining and RD are a little extreme considering the circumstances.
shining armor brandishing his sword and attacking pretty much immediately after she transformed right in front of him might have been a little much as a first reaction. being defensive and not believing her i can understand.
RD was a little too thick-headed in my opinion. i mean; she just filtered out everything that was told to her before the revelation as well as whom was backing twi up, and proceeded with attacking her on the spot.
both of them seem like they have some automatic mind-switch to attack changelings on sight.
JUST ALL MY YES!
i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000028287991-gkbzqx-crop.jpg?04ad178
Anyway how frequent you update?
Well ... that's an interesting way to create new changelings.
Ah, Science. Justifying creepy-ass shit since the beginning of time.
You need a pre-reader to advise you on some key points with pacing and the like. Also, you gotta know when to give us a line break or something to notify us of a perspective change or a change in scenery that is followed by events that detail on what happened after teleportation, or arriving at a new destination.
I'd like to volunteer for the role if you can't find yourself one. Toss a PM my way if you feel interested in my minuscule offer.
1779185 I am in the next chapter.
1780815 nuff said
1780999 Exactly.
OHMYGODANUPDATEMUSTREADNOWWW
Nice work with the mental trauma Can't wait to see what happens next
Now that was the kind of reaction (or overreaction) that I would expect twilight to have! Good show!
YES! ALL OF MY YES!
: Here you go, all of Flashy's Yes'es *hand out all 128 yes*
Flash Drive: Pinkie! It's a figure of speech thingy!
great chapter! i would have expected twilight to be afraid of the changeling that raped her, but going berserk on him is most certainly an alternative!
DAM
SHE
SCARY!!!!
Can't say I'm a fan of the OC character
1795820 Hes only here once.
why was most of this chapter in that scribbly writing :P
i want more twilight killing changelings
1795923 That was Twilight thinking... you'll have to wait for a while before she kills any changelings.
Well... so far... this seems to have some pacing issues, but nothing that turns me off. But is this a contiuation of something? Cause the first chapter just dropped me into this.
cool
everything is stuck in italic
1795961
Half the chapter is in italics. Go back and make sure you closed all your tags.
1795830 oh thats good, he was a little OP.
good chapter anyways
1796260 Not everything! Most of it... Its Twilight's thoughts. A lot of them are important to her character as the story goes along. Just go with it.
I don't mind the OC, although he sounds kind of Mary Sueish.
1796322 Never read of her. Heard yes, read no.
1796332
A Mary Sue character tends to mean that the character is 'over powered'. So if you had a story, and then include some infinity powerful alicorn who just crushes whoever opposes him/her, then you would call that alicorn a 'Mary sue'. A Mary Sue isn't just a Mary sue because they are powerful though, it could also be that they are too smart, or generally have a feature that allows them to best everything else.
This is a pretty bad explanation, I'm pretty sure Wanderer D has a Blog post explaining Mary Sue's better than me.