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zyr1987 912150

Joined September 2012
51 followers

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    zyr1987's Stories (9)

    • Gimme Shelter
      Fleur de lis is thrown out of her coltfriend's home and caught up in the rain, when a helpful stallion offfers her a bed for the night

      1,110 words · 489 views · 63 likes · 2 dislikes
    • The Model Caretaker
      Fleur de Lis moves to Ponyville, after finding Fancypants cheated on her, then got her shunned by the Canterlot elite, and slowly becomes infatuated with a certain yellow pegasus. However, she seems to have come down with hoof in mouth disease
      25,843 words · 1,238 views · 95 likes · 11 dislikes
    • Rainbow Dash discovers "The Stare"
      After RD pushes Fluttershy too far, their friendship is nearly ruined.
      1,941 words · 782 views · 32 likes · 3 dislikes
    • Luna Looks for Love
      Luna calls on the mane six to help her find her soulmate.
      9,894 words · 378 views · 27 likes · 3 dislikes
    • The Storm
      2,415 words · 650 views · 25 likes · 6 dislikes
    • Luna's Power and Rainbow's love
      16,054 words · 664 views · 38 likes · 14 dislikes
    • The Story of "The Stare"
      1,858 words · 264 views · 9 likes · 1 dislikes
    • Fifty foot Applejack
      1,246 words · 625 views · 15 likes · 13 dislikes
    • Breaking through the ice
      1,231 words · 203 views · 3 likes · 2 dislikes
    6

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    Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are caught in a powerful storm near the Everfree Forest. They run to take cover in Fluttershy's cottage, but, during the trip, a large branch nearly kills Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash, despite being badly injured herself, takes it upon herself to get Fluttershy to safety and care for her until the storm passes.

    First Published
    7th Oct 2012
    Last Modified
    7th Oct 2012

    Comments ( 10 )

    #1 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Although, there are a few grammar mistakes, but yeah...

    #2 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Nice simple story. But I would get rid of the authors comment you made in brackets early on in the fic. You could still fit the info in, just try and do it in a way that flows with the story.

    :yay::heart::rainbowkiss:FTW!

    #3 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Yeah, you're right about the brackets. I'll fix that up when I've had a bit more sleep. Writing a fanfic while half asleep does tend to have odd effects like that

    #4 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    First comment summarizes my feelings.

    #5 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Pretty good! I feel it repetitive a few times but overall it is actually nice.

    I only have to critisize just a little something: Fluttershy's opinion over Rainbow, did she change her thoughts of her friend so quickly? Because personally I think she does it out of pity.

    But I could be wrong! It's just my opinion. (or it's maybe because I'm a little over FlutterDash shipping? Oh who cares?)

    It was pretty nice, I say it again. I'll give you a few cheers for this!

    #6 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1398542 It was more because she wanted to thank Rainbow Dash for taking care of her in some way, and when she was asked, she realized that giving a relationship with Dash a chance was a good way to thank her. I'll try to work that in, when I go back in and fix things up some more

    #7 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1398582

    That's good that's good, I was just telling you my point of view.

    #8 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Definite read later.

    Description looks alright.

    #9 · 32w, 3d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Tornado Of Souls - Megadeth

    #10 · 32w, 2d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    After hearing a loud snapping sound, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy turned to see one of the giant tree branches flying towards them, but they couldn't do anything about it, as the branch was too close and they were both grounded. It slammed into Fluttershy's side and Rainbow's wing, knocking both ponies off their feet, and causing Rainbow to see stars for a second.

    Feet?

    Feet?!

    FEET?!?!

    Try 'hooves'

    ~Wolf

    Long Vive, Lupus Imperii!

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