• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 31st, 2020

zyr1987


I'm Zyr1987 (Rhymes with sir) and I'm currently the only person to write stories about Fleur de Lis to any great extent. I also ship extensively and have been taking to combining the two in my stories

T
Source

After Fancypants cheats on her, and discredits her in the eyes of the Canterlot nobility, Fleur de Lis moves to Ponyville to get a new start. While there, she meets a shy yellow pegasus who she remembers seeing on the modeling circuit, and slowly becomes infatuated with her.

Now, if she could just stop putting her hoof in her mouth every time she speaks to her.

Flutter de Lis shipfic loosely inspired by the only other one I could find on this site, the sadly never completed Kindness in Dancing.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 44 )

Wait... a fic that has Fancy not being the nice stallion we think he is?

1858602 Well, I can't just go with the flow all the time. It's fun to change things up occasionally

Well I've read the story... well... it's not bad, but not the best I've read. Though I will still fave this to see what will happen. The only issue I would have is Fancy and the Elite, but I do recognize that is needed for the plot to even work.

Sib

As much as I really like the pairing idea, I think that the issue with the Canterlot elite and Fancy could have gone about in a different fashion. We know that Fancy is a relatively nice guy, but what if Fleur wanted out the relationship just because she couldn't take more societal expectations? And for being completely ostracized by her husband and social friends, she seems pretty accepting of the whole situation.

Secondly, in what way would the elite be 'conservative'? I'd imagine that pony ideals would be different than our own, and in a land like Equestria that seems to promote tolerance, their close-mindedness doesn't make much sense in the long run. That's just me rambling though, you do what you want. I'm actually surprised that I haven't seen this couple yet. It's pretty clever matchmaking. :pinkiehappy:

1858676 I meant for Fleur to have a bit lot more venom towards Fancy and the elite, but that got lost along the way, apparently, and I admit, I didn't think of just making her get tired of the social pressures, but that's just me being a bit dumb.

As for the conservativeness, they didn't seem to be too tolerant of Rarity or her friends until Fancy took a liking to them, and I made some odd extrapolations from there, for plot convenience.

Unique pairing, good writing. I'll be tracking this. :twilightsheepish:

This sounds like an amusing interaction.:derpytongue2:
Consider it read.

If you do decide to update this i will return, It sounds pretty interesting! ^^ :yay:

ugh, i dislike when ppl just reglessly blurt bad stuff out about things they have no clue :fluttershyouch: only read the first chap btw :)

I like it. A unique pairing, characterisation that can't be found in every single other fic (If I read one more fic about party animal Vinyl and stuck-up Octavia, I will gag) and, joy of joys, it's a shipfic that understands that bisexuality exists. It may be a little selfish of me, but I always rather enjoy that.

My only beef is that you make Fleur almost sound like some freakishly tall monstrosity compared to other ponies. She was barely Fancy Pant's height the one time we saw her. Not tall enough to have to duck through doorways...

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Not Quite the Right Hoof
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 6
Pros
A ship idea that hasn't been done before, or not done often so therefore original and quite interesting. Also a different take on fancy pants
Fluttershy... seems in character as is Rarity and Fleur is mostly in character.
Cons (list three cons)
Some minor/major grammar/spelling mistake aka "din't" when you were supposed to write "don't"
Fleur... she shouldn't use the slang "bi" if she is a high class mare as she purports to be. Might recommend changing this.
I'm kind of worried about Flutters falling in love with Fleur off the bat, but you do show her restraint... do develop her affection for Fleur and you should be fine
Notes Section:
Well. I'll be watching this story for this idea is just sucking me in. If you develop the two's affections well so that they appreciate each other much more, I'm sure you'll be fine. Also, do sort out the grammar and spelling issues and do add dialogue tags to all your dialogue that ends in a comma. Only if the same character is speaking do you not use a dialogue tag. And if it ends in a period, do try to indicate who is speaking with some show. Eg: Rarity nodded, "It's true."
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story: Canterlot: Her Creation and Her Architects (You do not have to read the whole thing)

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Not Quite the Right Hoof

Grammar score: 7.5

Pros: It's a nice idea to explore Fleur's character and a romantic relationship between her and some of the other characters. Rarity and Fluttershy certainly stay in character.

Cons: There's a little clean up needed with the grammar, like a couple of misspelled words and such. Fleur's dialogue doesn't suggest that she speaks with an accent, though you mention that she has one.

Notes: There isn't much I can go into given that this is just one short chapter, but it does the job of setting up the premise fairly well. Fluttershy seems to leave on a bad note, begging the question of how anything romantic between herself and Fleur will come about now. Someone else brought this up as well, but Fleur isn't as tall as you make her sound - I don't know if this is meant to act as some sense of awkwardness that she and Fluttershy can have in common or not (Fleur is too tall, could be seen as ungraceful for a unicorn, while Fluttershy is known for not wanting to fly too high off the ground, something that is laughable for a pegasus). Overall the story sounds interesting and I'll read more if you post a second chapter.

Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story/ this story: Friendship has a Generous Heart

Oh, and I'm sure you've noticed the new cover art. There's quite the tale behind it, and it deserves to be told juist so you know how amazing it is that I go it at all. Back when I was working on the final chapter or two of Luna's Power and Rainbow's Love, on Equestria Forums we had a secret Santa. Everyone who participated was to make one thing based on three things of someopne else's choosing. I did so (the three words I was to use were Derpy, Vinyl, and Rainbow Dash, mine were Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy Pink Floyd (alternatively camping)).

In the end, seven people including me delivered gifts but did not get gifts of their own, so Dashell (our wonderful quirky admin), AbraKadbra, and another user who's name escapes me at the moment all agreed to make gifts for tose who gave but not recieve, with Abra taking on five of the seven themself. Since I could, I asked for three different things (Fluttershy, Fleur de Lis, Ponyville (aternatively: love)), and when mine was done, as the last one (I ain't complaining) that was the result. I love it.

If I have one major criticism of this so far, it's that you spend a lot of time telling the audience things rather than showing them.

For example: '“Can you tell me a little bit about them?” Fleur asked, realizing that talking about animals would probably be a good way to get Fluttershy to start opening up.'

You didn't need to tell me that Fleur realised that the topic would make Fluttershy open up. You could have showed me that by having Fluttershy get enthusiastic about animals, and by having Fleur be happy when she saw this enthusiasm.

Nice to finally see an update:raritywink:
Fleur still isn't as tall as you make her sound. I mean, Big Mac gets around just fine:rainbowwild:

I've never seen this pairing before! Interesting!

Well...I've heared of less likely pairings...full speed ahead captain!

god i hate people like pearl i find it to be the epitome of idiocy to be a hyporite, and who the hell cares who some one loves i personally am heterosexual and yet i have no quarrel with any homosexual people

Just started the story and I like it. Only real problems in it is the almost jarring time skips between chapters. But beside that, this is the first fanfiction I read with Fluer as a main character. Continue onward my good author so that everybody who reads this may know how it ends.

I found a small mistake:

Spike transformed back when he realized he who was holding

>.>

Read the first three chapters at EQF and have been patiently watching the thread for updates, then I run across it here and it's almost done... hrmm.

Great chapter... really enjoyed it. Some minor grammatical errors here and there and some confusion as to who is speaking to whom in some spots (well, confusing to me at any rate) but otherwise really good. I can't wait for more :twilightsmile:

---

“Check on Twilight Sparkle's mental health and take necessary precautions to avoid a repeat of the 'Smartypants incident.' I don't get it. What was the 'Smartypants incident'?”

Checking on Twilight's mental health is a national concern?

SEEMS LEGIT :pinkiehappy:

Well it's about time!

I hope to see one more.:raritywink:

Fortunately, she had only been banned from the Gala for that stunt

can't understand that bit, as the Mixing up of the Gala was definitely Celestia approved (and she hosted the Gala, non?), so why ban her?

anyways, good story, nice finish. And Sequel in making, that's very promising

see you around.

mfg Nordic

Please pardon the faux pas
farm3.static.flickr.com/2082/1577506262_03177b0e0f.jpg
... Get it, fox paws?...
I'm sorry, that was stupid :rainbowlaugh:

Whoosh! Greased Lightning! I feel like I missed a chapter here. Apparently it's just me, but I think this whole thing just started out way too fast. There wasn't any/enough setup for the fic so I felt like I was just dropped in the middle. I love the idea but I feel like I just experienced a hit and run by a shipfic and only saw through the back seat window.

I would have liked to see what happened in the future or maybe a flash forward... but it ended on a good note and its one of the few mare ship stories I do enjoy :D

A good story, but it feels incomplete to me. The end feels more like the end of a chapter than an end to the story and i wish it had continued..

Added by contributor recommendation to Twilight's Library.

This story has more than the maximum number of grammar errors, so I can't include it in the Good Grammar Directory at this time. However, if you fix the following errors, I will be able to post it.

Fluttershy walked in, and deposited the basket in her mouth at Rarity's hooves

No comma is needed in that sentence.

but instead making herself seem even more guilty.

The correct word is "guiltier."

“Yes. I remember pony who looked like you

you are missing the word "a" in-between remember and pony.

. Fluttershy quit, because the whole thing made her miserable

No comma is needed after "quit."

“Oh, that's too bad. your style of modeling

"Your" should be capitalized.

Fleur explained before Rarity had the opportunity to. "Fancypants, my

There should be a comma after the word to, not a period.

I noticed "couldsdale" In one of fleurs sentences.

So good. Any hope of a sequel?

Seems a bit like you threw Fancy Pants under the bus unnecessarily, as his exact relationship with Fleur is never clarified in canon. All we know is she spends time around him and compulsively poses. Given that he appears to be a fairly nice guy in his appearances, casting him as the villain seems a bit of a stretch and, as I said, unnecessary as you could just as easily cast someone else in that role and have Fancy Pants just be a friend or relative.

I know this is a bit late but I just want to say,
the ending is a bit abrupt.

I love this! Keep it up!:pinkiehappy::heart: Oh, and I love how you made Pearl. She's the bitchy character you want to hate.:flutterrage:

Caracolant a Cheval

My translator isn't the best, but is this supposed to be 'Prancing Pony' or something to that effect?

how about flutterfleur or fleurshy

Great fic, though the ending is a tab bit abrupt. A short epilogue chapter would have been nice.

Sometimes I read an old story and find something I just can't help but comment about...

have you broken any homes up lately

Was this by chance a Pink Floyd reference? When reading it the exact same words from "The Trial" popped into my head and now I can't read it any other way, but it's an easy enough combination of words that it could just be a coincidence.

8833303
Just five minutes Worm, your honor, him, me, alone.

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