When Fluttershy's house is burned to the ground and Rainbow Dash saves her, Fluttershy realizes she loves Rainbow Dash. And she does everything to try and get Dash to love her back.
Chapters (6)
Dracoliat
Joined 7th Dec, 2011 ·
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I am really starting to gain interest in this story.
I'm honestly surprised hat this hasn't gotten a bit more attention.
I part that may need to be improved is:
"Thank you all so much for your kindness, I really don't deserve such nice friends. Especially you Pinkie Pie for taking care of my friends. But are you sure you can handle it?
and...
"Of course I can handle some cute little animals, after all animals love to party, and I love to party, so we'll get along great!
There was a slight repetition in these sentences, you could possibly use synonyms to improve the sentence.
"Thank you all so much for your kindness, I really don't deserve such nice friends. Especially you Pinkie Pie for taking care of my animals/critters. But are you sure you can handle it?
I am not the best of writers (since I don't write) but this would just the sentence that little bit better.
(You may need to consider changing the wording so that the word "animals" isn't used 3 times in close proximity)
Nevertheless, this is a good fic.
Nice chapter but there were a few mistakes that bugged me. For instance...
Her lack of cooking skills disturbed Rainbow Dash. Shouldn't be that her lack of cooking skills disturbed Fluttershy?
REVALATION! lol 
Rainbow said as he shut the door softly leaving Fluttershy alone in the bland room. ...
There were a few more mistakes with other typos but they can be overlooked.
Wait shouldn't her rain boom be yellow and pink?????? cuz she is yellow and pink but rainbow is well rainbow
56721
No because, I think, it has to do with refraction of light from the water, which causes a rainbow.
Aside from a gratuitous amount of grammar mistakes, the story actually interests me.
57152
I know I have a lot of grammar mistakes.
when i finished chapter one when fluttershy said she was in love i said to my self "oh god this better not be over" im glad that was only chapter one
So sweet but getting sad
57552
If this is sad you should see the sequel, and the sequel to that is even worse!
you know, your punctuation sucks... you should read at least once through your own story
Rainbow Dash said a nervous town began to develop in her voice. wut?
59078
ed... Deal with it. 
Ya I
pretty good so far but i agree with lyn prayre those mistakes kinda bugged me but other than that good work
encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTUt4f0FT5NTezjYoSd82xVl9TAaTcY3CcrBjrHslzyIEXv3Ky- 59667
i pick A C AND B who cares about your gramer mistakes. i love this story rlv.zcache.com/me_gusta_face_text_postcard-p239986862933170582baanr_400.jpg
badbreeders.net/wp-content/images/Grammar_Nazis____The_Motivator_by_ZlayaHozyayka.jpg
59110you know what he means
660540
Dude, that comment is 24 weeks old. I still know the plot and all, but I could care less about any mistakes once made by the author. If he doesn't bother, I most certainly won't either. Replying to comments that old is rather pointless. Oh, and no, I don't know it.
Amazing, What ever you do don't change how you write! ;D
Yes.
Good.
This is brilliant!
that part tho-
Fluttershy is yellow. Do you mean pink-maned Pegasus?
i love how this story wasn't rushed