An alcoholic gives up on his 25th birthday and turns into a pony. Now she's just trying to get home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was quite the chapter, so much just heartfelt content and development. Three chapters a week? That’s insane! Excited to see more regardless!
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I'll be honest, I have no idea if that's a lot or not. I'm basing this off what I was able to do and what I think I can do.
Either way, I'll do my best!
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I mean, compared to my writing that’s a lot. Multiple other writer friends too. If you can do it more power to you then, always happy for more pony words!
I think the issue I the fact that it's beef. Need i bring up the sandwich?
Zephyr fans are beside themselves right about now.
I gotta have it to the dealer for taking the high road and being nice. When Nathan says he's fucking a pony, the first assumption the dealer makes is Nathan must be talking about an imaginary friend based on the toy line. That's probably not most people's first assumption, but this dealer isn't like that. He has class.
Your descriptions continue to be incredibly poignant. For instance, the change of tone in the way Berry describes the Jameson when she was eager for a drink, and then how the same alcohol is described in this chapter in the context of an alcoholic's regret:
It's sad to read, but eloquently written.
Overall, that is a spicy chapter and quite the cliffhanger. I can tell things are going to move on quickly, but there's a lot to mull over about the current setting and characters. The reader (and Berry) can simultaneously feel sorry for Nathan, as well as despise him. I suppose that is somewhat the theme of this arc, with the last chapter having Berry be both voluntarily willing, but also weak and exploited. The same two sides of the coin are present in this chapter as well, and it leaves Berry, as well as the reader, feeling uncomfortable and concerned with where things are heading.
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Hehe. Yup, I had channeled a bit of Zephyr's Tale into that. It seemed like something a pony might do subconsciously to 'force' a happier expression, not unlike making yourself smile bigger when meeting someone.
I was a little worried after your comparison last chapter of Nathan to your Nurse character as an "exploiter". In the original draft for this story he was that but as I wrote the chapters with him in it and ended up "spending time with him" and "got to know him better", I realized where his flaws were coming from and thought he was a more sympathetic character than what I was expecting.
I was going to comment on your prose, but Twisted kinda said all that better than I would've, so I'll mention Nathan! Who I really like. He's a wonderfully sad, realistic person, who's good in the way that real people are good, or that Quentin Coldwater is good. And wow do I know the motivated-to-clean-up-your-shit-because-you-might-get-physical-contact feeling.
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Thank you for the lovely comments! I had different plans with Nathan then I got to 'know' him as I wrote these chapters. He really surprised me.
And there are references to other fics! A lot more later too! They gradually become... less subtle. I hope you stick it out throughout and see!
I would have done a spit take if I was drinking.
Nathan is really screwing Berry over here and not in a good way