An alcoholic gives up on his 25th birthday and turns into a pony. Now she's just trying to get home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm honestly really happy to see someone writing in the 5s/4 universe again. It's been my favorite series since 2014.
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I loved the series but encountered it pretty late in its life. By the time I got into it and finished the main story there were some pretty limited options on Completed/updating stories. It was the series that broke me and got me to read Incomplete fics that had no hope of finishing. I wanted to finish this story entirely before posting it but my life got in the way.
There's actually a bunch of tiny references to abandoned stories in this one (not a ton so far) that will be way more blatant later on. Mostly names. I went out of my way to try and not step on any stories and steal characters away unless I felt like I could give the character more spotlight. Chances are if I namedrop a pony who was used in another fanfic, i'm probably referencing that fanfic. There are few (one?) exceptions to this rule.
The moonshine strawberries in chapter 1 were originally grapes and were a reference to Ponies Anonymous (the abandoned 5s/4 Berry Punch story). But in my experience grapes absorb poorly. So I wanted to "do it right", metaphorically.
I hope you keep reading! I have some fun things planned!
*Then
Good story
10222316
Fixed!
Also thank you! It's really encouraging to see people are liking this. i keep worrying my writing 'style' is too weird.
But at the end of the day you just gotta "do" it and let it be weird or bad. Gotta learn by doing, right?
You know, after so many chapters with clever puns and plays on words, I can't help but feel an ominous sense of dread with the sudden change to the single word chapter title.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Go on Berry, good luck out there today!
Let me get this straight. You were just kicked out of your home. You're an extremely vulnerable mare that is helpless on their own. You are known to get blackout drunk on the regular. You are currently desperate for shelter (and for alcohol). You found a loner who is also a brony.
....
....
....Well it's a bold strategy Berry, let's see if it pays off.
I take it back. Nathan has already proven himself to be the most sane human I've ever seen across the entirety of FimFiction.
What an outstanding role model. If you ever have an crazed spirit, ghost, demon, devil, fey, vampire, or pony that just randomly and inexplicably shows up at your door, do what our role model Nathan does here and just calmly close the door. Don't invite them in. Just ignore them and refuse their siren's calls. You will remain safe within the threshold of your home, but only as long as you don't invite them into your life.
Ah, we almost dodged the bullet.
Welp, this will all end in tears.
Berry, you are too kind on them. If you ever see someone poisoning the green fairy with Pepsi... I'm pretty sure you are legally and morally obligated to euthanize them on the spot.
Oh come on! It's not that simple! You don't "dilute it with sugar water", its a whole process! If you want to louche it properly you need to first place a sugar cube on a fork or a spoon, and then letting the spirit—
...Actually, come to think of it, there is no way Berry doesn't already know this. And to anyone else reading this... uh, go drink a White Claw or something.
Take note gents. Also...
Honestly, the American education system really needs to do a better job teaching these things.
All snark and kidding aside, that was one hell of a chapter. You captured the whole concept of "creep with a fetish exploits a vulnerable character" far more believable than I ever did with 'Nurse Jessica' in the original fic.
The veil between "fetish coercion" and "grim exploitation" can seem thin at first glance, but this chapter is a brilliant example of just how sickening the latter is. The former is more enjoyably to write and to read, but experiencing the latter through the eyes of a protagonist is far more impactful. Props for having the stones to write such a chapter, and to not shy away from scenes that you know will make the audience uncomfortable.
Two things. First, amazing awkward sex writing. The sex scenes in the original Five Score are really hot, but it's also a lot of fun to just see... realistic levels of endearingly hilarious nonsense.
Secondly, I love how many references to other stories there are in this! I've read probably two-thirds of the works in this universe, and I honestly can't remember where most of the references are from, but I can tell they're there. It lends a wonderful depth to the story.
The test is incomplete since Berry didn't try to imagine pony females and if they seem attractive
This whole chapter... damn. This was fucked.
Let us count the ways, shall we? First, staying under the roof of an only sorta-friend who you know is a brony and you have no idea how he might react to your new form? Ultra questionable decision there! Getting liquored up while emotionally distressed? Par for the course for Brian, but maybe not the best thing to do at a stranger's house. And then... saying yes to sex.
While drunk and emotionally unstable.
... I love this story. It shows the protagonist as a lonely man stumbling through a series of events he cannot control, and losing sense of what is right and wrong. This chapter epitomizes that perfectly. We know hardly anything about Nathan, but in the span of a single chapter, he invited Berry in, got her liquored up, propositioned her, kissed her without consent, and had sex with her. And Brian is too drunk and worn out to care. Hell, he even admits later that he was using him!
Is it possible that everything was consensual? Maybe, but there are several reasons why it's common practice to never sleep with someone who is drunk or emotionally vulnerable, and Nathan seems to have crossed several lines, they both have.
TLDR: This chapter put this story among my Favorites for how hollow, wrong and human it feels. Outstanding work!
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I've never drank absinthe before (I'm more of a scotch guy, and a lightweight at that), but even I know about that process!
... sure I found out about it in the film version of From Hell, but it still counts!