hyreia
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Happy Five Scores/4 Weekend! Looking forward to reading this!
10213500
Thank You! Happy Five Score/4 Weekend!
You'll be happy to know there's plenty more coming!
I'm surprised the 5 score thing is still going
10213763
It's sort of not, to be honest. The sidefics that have come out in the last few years have been pretty intermittent and I think unfinished? There might be a few that are ongoing (the Nightlight and Twilight Velvet one?) But the special day mentioned in the fic was coming up! So I knew I wanted to share the one that I came up with.
As the title suggests (other than alcohol) it's sort of a send off.
I'm honestly really happy to see someone writing in the 5s/4 universe again. It's been my favorite series since 2014.
10221371
I loved the series but encountered it pretty late in its life. By the time I got into it and finished the main story there were some pretty limited options on Completed/updating stories. It was the series that broke me and got me to read Incomplete fics that had no hope of finishing. I wanted to finish this story entirely before posting it but my life got in the way.
There's actually a bunch of tiny references to abandoned stories in this one (not a ton so far) that will be way more blatant later on. Mostly names. I went out of my way to try and not step on any stories and steal characters away unless I felt like I could give the character more spotlight. Chances are if I namedrop a pony who was used in another fanfic, i'm probably referencing that fanfic. There are few (one?) exceptions to this rule.
The moonshine strawberries in chapter 1 were originally grapes and were a reference to Ponies Anonymous (the abandoned 5s/4 Berry Punch story). But in my experience grapes absorb poorly. So I wanted to "do it right", metaphorically.
I hope you keep reading! I have some fun things planned!
*Then
Good story
10222316
Fixed!
Also thank you! It's really encouraging to see people are liking this. i keep worrying my writing 'style' is too weird.
But at the end of the day you just gotta "do" it and let it be weird or bad. Gotta learn by doing, right?
This is going dark places.
Prepare for trouble!
This was quite the chapter, so much just heartfelt content and development. Three chapters a week? That’s insane! Excited to see more regardless!
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I'll be honest, I have no idea if that's a lot or not. I'm basing this off what I was able to do and what I think I can do.
Either way, I'll do my best!
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I mean, compared to my writing that’s a lot. Multiple other writer friends too. If you can do it more power to you then, always happy for more pony words!
i have to wonder if discord is genuinely sadistic or was just in such a desperate state not to care all that much about how badly things would play out when the curse started breaking down, then again if my understanding of the situation is right there wasnt much choice by the time he managed to break free
10232549
I've seen a few interpretations: He could just be that sadistic and lack empathy, he could care but think it's "worth it" for whatever reason or he might not fully consider his actions beyond "oh that sounds fun".
To some degree, the Discord in this alt universe is, by nature what he's done in the plot of the original story, more malevolent than what we ended up with in later seasons of the show.
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i dont think it was ever directly stated but in either the main story or one of the closely linked side ones it was heavily hinted that he did it because equestria and earth were spiraling toward destruction in opposite ways and this was a solution, but given his tricky nature its no wonder that its impossible to be sure and even if its true that doesn't mean he isn't enjoying every bit of this. i certainly recall him enjoying the uncertainty over his motive
10232638
This was definitely Dust on the Wind and very possibly a few more.
As far as I recall, the mane six weren't sure if Discord even knew what world was on the other side of his spell. The main fic seemed to leave motive for some of his actions open to interpretation (by other writers?)
Wow...this chapter was definitely something. An emotional roller coaster for all involved. Poor Berry, but Nathan crossed a very real line that shouldn't have been crossed, no matter how guilty they felt, but still...Geez. Curious about what's to come next, if a little anxious...
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I'm glad this was emotional for you! And I almost feel sorry about putting others through this. I hope this didn't turn too many people away.
I can promise there are plenty of good feelings coming in this story as well! I promise it's not just a series of terrible things happening to the protagonist.
10234552
Snugs! Just rough to get through, but it'll just make their happiness and success that much more potent!
Well, this story is definitely shaping up to be among of the best Five Score sidefics I've read!
It can be delicate to follow a character, especially a protagonist, who keeps making 'bad' choices. But Berry is just so relatable, and her difficulties dealing with her issues so understandable, that it makes it all the more heart-wrenching and dramatic rather than potentially frustrating. It certainly helps that she's conscious of her own failings, and that she's still a good pony where it counts. Even if the path to recovery is long and arduous, I'm rooting for her!
Oh and this situation of having two characters being just as 'Mom' as the other in Ruby's eyes is so very fascinating. Like the shift from brother-sister to mother-daughter, it's always interesting to see how personal relationships are forced to transform and adapt.
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Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback and you honor me because I've read a lot of these stories. To know that it's looking like my addition will be with the good ones is really inspiring! I'm excited to share the rest of the story with everyone and I hope it can live up to the expectations I've seem to have set for you!
10234552
woof that was rough, it was well done enough that I had some real nasty response to it as well (Special Place in the pit of my soul for hatred for those types)
I'd say it's good but I don't know if I personally would be able to take anything darker than that. Long as you have some peak to go with the trough it'll all be fine. Excited to see where you go from here.
would like to say that I feel for Nathan, it's really easy to fall to those bad influences with social disorders and such. But at some point he's gotta pick and I'd say he's crossed that line. Sucks for him, and perhaps Berry shouldn't have asked permission to bring him, instead just showing up with him. Mighta been good for the poor dude.
Well, this sounds like the ideal place for a bunch of ponies to hide from the world as long as necessary! And that distillery could prove both a challenge and an opportunity for Berry to find the thin line between her addiction and whatever her cutie mark's about...
As for the revelation, maybe it was processed a little quickly here, but clearly it's not received the same way by everypony, and I'm curious to see how this new knowledge will impact the characters down the line.
10247168
Hmm. Perhaps it was a bit fast? I appreciate that, I really do. I think her crying foal caused a bit of a reaction out of her. There also seems to be plenty of time now to reflect on things that have happened in this new light...
Edit: Yeah I reread this. I definitely rushed that a bit. Damn.
Also it just now occurred to me that you're Alsey! I haven't gotten to reading A Prench Tale yet but I was meaning too! I see now you're still working on it. That's good. I was really excited to see a new one come out this year. I gave me hope there was still interest in mine! The length of the chapters and the uncertainty of its completion status made me hesitate to start on it. But I see now you're quite active still. Definitely going on the To Read list then!
Huzzah! A new chapter! Carrots certainly seems interesting, though it’s always a wonder how long their sanctuary will last. Also! Earth ponies really do seem to get the short end of the stick in the show. Some of us just have “alternative” headcanon about it to keep it even. Regular writing can be a challenge. Glad to see you’re keeping at it!
10247226
I wouldn't say it's rushed per se. After all it's logical that being faced with all the facts, especially the poem itself, would make it all click. And it's understandable that Ruby's reaction would impact her so strongly, and quickly processing the reality of the situation is definitely coherent with this! It may be fast, but it's both logical and in character.
You've done a really great job so far, so I'm quite confident you'll explore the meaningful consequences of that revelation for Berry's bunch!
I didn't like the original five score story so I was a little skeptical, but damn... I'm glad I gave this a read, because this was really good. The writing is high-quality, the dialogue feels very natural, and the characters are pretty believable and interesting. I think the chapters with Nathan was particularly good, the entire thing was uncomfortable and awkward in a really good way and you did a good job in setting up what was going to happen. This really deserves more attention
10319193
Thank you! This means a lot for me to hear!
I'm so glad to hear people are liking Berry Punch's story so far!
I feared writing this my dialogue was too slow and awkward, because dialogue in stories always seem snappier and more to the point. But people don't talk like that, do they?
I'm really surprised just how well people took to Nathan despite everything. Or even because of everything.
Thank you for giving it a chance despite what it had going against it. I promise there's more coming! I have outlines and plot points and resolutions and all that fun stuff. And a few great surprises left, I think!
More important, essential, and interesting discussions! Our ponies are getting to know themselves, see what's changed, what remains... Ruby is still Berry's rock (or is that gem?), and it's certainly through their mutual love that the mare will eventually get better. It's sad to see how indifferent she is to herself, how little self-esteem and self-love she has, but it's understandable considering all she went through in (probably) both lives. Berry already took the first little hoofsteps in the right direction, I hope she'll find the strength in herself and others to keep on going! Sooner or later, like Carrot suggested, her friends may need her to stand strong for them all... I worry that Minuette's smiling façade may start to crumble even further, depending on how things go between her and her human relatives.
Great new chapter for a great story, and I can't wait to see more!
Berry sure is having a rough go of it...but it’s good to see them working through this properly this time with friends. I’m excited to see this story going again and being able to see how all the characters grow. Always so heartwarming to have a mother daughter relationship playing out so cutely.
Ah, finally got to read this one, and it was another very nice chapter! I really liked your take on the workings of Equestrian magic, it's quite logical and opens fun possibilities!
I just wanted to say I really love your story! I just recently dove into the five score universe and your writing is so real. Keep going!
As someone who took AP music theory there is a lot of potential with frequencies being a function of magic. Lots of cute this chapter, keep up the awesome work!
but berry doesnt have a horn? or is this discord?
Oh we don’t need bombs to do that...
Frick berrys mom Ruby deserves better
I like this. Please don't stop!
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I'm glad you like it!
I promise I'll give it my all! I have no intentions of stopping. I know my updates looked fervent early on and they got slower but I promise that's not a warning sign. We're doing it. Equestria or Bust!
Ah, such wholesome slice-of-life bits! I loved all the little details you poured into this chapter, really gives things a feel of realness.
And we got some news from the wider world, too – a good way to check how far along we are in relation to other stories in the universe, as well as replace this story in its greater context!
Lots of happy little details, just waiting to see how Berry gets along with things. My foreshadowing senses are telling me something is going to happen with this "little excursion." Love that little alliteration at the end ;). Excited to see what's coming next!
As always thanks for your continued horse words!
I am loving each chapter. You do havr knack to writing i teresting stories. I'm just as intriged with the show bible steeling, thinking it may have been Twilight. I'll have to go back and read what Discord did with the princesses, and if Twilight was with them.
Anyway, it is easy to get engrossed with thus story, loving the direction the llit is going.
Well that was properly heartwrenching; don't know how I could comment with anything other than '
'. A very effective chapter, then, with a most chilling end..!
Well, this took quite a deep and dark turn into the cycle of abuse and addiction. That ending certainly doesn’t bode well in the least. Did berry just get alcohol poisoning?! And the talk of adoption just hurts way to much... ;-; geez this is getting heart wrenching.
Are you going to finish the story
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Of course. Equestria or bust!
I'm sorry the updates are so sporadic looking. I could give the usual excuses people give but no one wants to hear those.
This story is important to me: I'm more emotionally invested into it than anyone else. It's pretty well planned. One way or another this will be marked Complete eventually. When?
My goal is to finish by New Years. Wordcount wise, I know it doesn't seem like it, but it's nearly 2/3rds of the way done. Story wise we're near the halfway mark. You'll know it when you see it. Lots of fun things happen and there's a lot of payoff coming! I'm so excited I'm writing this next part now. I'll start updating more often soon.
... What an incredible rollercoaster of a chapter!
It was quite interesting to have a look into Carrot's thoughts; some things we could guess, but others really help in recontextualizing her words and behaviors.
And then we get to the events that'll change everything..!
The stress, the action, so much tension! I was on the edge of my seat the whole way 'til the end, going from the heartwrenching to glorious hope then back to horror at what our poor ponies are going through! The later scenes were hard to read, just as they were hard to watch for Carrot, but the payoff was so worth it!
They're still far from being out of the woods, so many things left uncertain... And I can't wait to see what will happen next!
Talk about a heart wrenching chapter! From Berry poisoning herself, to their violent capture and very nearly killing someone with a shotgun. Carrot being a hard carry for the pair, then to see Berry seem to fall into a rut then to break out of it only to be poisoned with gas again then not being able to run away... just my poor heart can’t take this! Excited as always for the next chapter, looking for how they get back from this.
I like that we get to see Carrot Top's piint of view, and I see why you did it this way. Very good writing. I felt the humiliatuon and hoplessness of being caged abd leashed. Add to that muzzled. These are not dumb animals, but sentient beings. I wanted to punch the ponynappers somewhere painful. Maybe even mutiple places
I hope we get Berry back. As much as I liked Carrot Top's POV, Berry is the protagonist. I could see the story dhifting to Ruby's POV, and may be Commet Tail's and Minuett's But that may be a little convoluted. I don't know. You are a good writer, and I'm sure you can work it out.
Waiting to see what's going to happen next.
He's right. He might not know it yet, but he's right.