Wandering Sunrise remembers Equestria as it once was: a land of harmony, broken by strife. She was sealed in a Stable-Tec stasis pod the day the Megaspells hit... and she wakes up in a pool of water, surrounded by strangers.
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nice, that was an awesome read, got me a little hot under the collar as well ;)
couple of points
“I've dealt with this every night since you said yes, I can't lie to you. I want to so badly, but I will never coherence or push"
coherence - coerce
“Than you, Nyota. You're almost too perfect for words, you truly are a wonderful gentlecolt.”
Than - Thank
9163139
Fixed Both!
yes
I love reading this book
*Horse Noises*
Also I thought they were red and green, not red and blue?
9162934
O ok ,
It is hard to tell some times if Nyota playing Sunrise or means it. Make for a fun story. ;)
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One is named Sapphire and the other Ruby you do the math.
9164749
:) glad we think alike.
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I'm glad you enjoy it, hopefully we'll get out new chapters faster.
9164794
Oh wow, harsh! I thought it was clear, my mistake.
How can I fix that?
Congratulations on having your stories featured , also i am looking forward to your warhammer 40k spacecraft analysis .
9165350
*BLUSH!*
"to the kitchen"
Great work as always! What more can I say?
9165911
Seems we did a good job then?
Well ..... some interesting things happened in this chapter ....
9167457
Such as?
9167529
Even the best editors can have a bad day. I try not to judge.
As for viscous, I figure you were going for like, thick fluid? Yeah. Vicious is like, brutal or cruel. Like a vicious dog.
9167565
That's fair but on the chapters he went back over, we are constantly having little issues here and there that were not caught.
One bad day is fine, 6 entire chapters over 2 months bad days; I begin to question.
9167524
Some nsfw Zebra action .
And finding out that the ministry of Morale agents that are after Sunrise probably have black boxes .
9168391
Oh we skipped the line for NSFW as close as possible.
*pokes leg*
See what?
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See being more box pone.
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I am not complaining , but i do suggest adding the appropriate nsfw tags if you intend on adding similar scenes in the future , in order to insure you don't have trouble with the fimfiction website .
9170681
We checked it with the admins on this one to make sure we were okay.
9171255
O... ok
Well, this got interesting fast this chapter. Still waiting for Her reactions to what comes out of Quickstitch soon.
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What part got interesting for you?
9175490
Well, after the love poison, and the awkward conversing between Sunrise and Nyota all things considered.
9176147
That's fair; yall miss a lot by not looking at stream and the story ;) Sorry the story is behind.
9176149
Well the layers of this story and the weekly streams is a lot to digest, I did miss some things by missing earlier streams
;)
Well that’s not how I saw this chapter going. I can’t wait to get to this part in the stream. Knowing moon I should have this coming. Pun intended.
That and sunrise has immortal determinator agents after her. I’m guessing she might have some form of immortality if she keeps dying and coming back. Not sure how it works though. I’m guessing it has side effects of memory loss or stable tech keeps recapturing here and wreaking the memories of here escapes. More necromancy that’s always trouble. I have a image in my head from project horizons that rarity is probably responsible for the immortal filly scouts. We know she had the black book full of necromancy and dark magic. And in project horizons which I know isn’t canon to this she indirectly made rampage. So she was really into these immortality experiments in that. So I’m guessing she was here to.
9265926
oh boy! The rollercoaster you are in for! You're so close! yet so far away. You are right on the cusp of it.
That Art perk is a Genius and hilarious idea from you. And her Armor reminds me of a Pilot Uniform.
Admiting their love to each other is a wonderful Moment.
Also, i Think we can Both agree that quick Stich can be Lucky Not to Cross ways with calamity
So Sunrise has more questions to find answers to courtesy of an old friend...all sorts of fun to be had. Loved that scene with Sunrise giving Nyota a bit of a show for him with the gift he gave her. And dang! He got some distance!
Sweet ending to an interesting chapter. Can't wait to read on.
I have never seen someone walk the line between explicit and suggestive so well! You may not leave a lot to the readers imagination, but boy howdy do you know just how far to push it, I tip my hat to you.
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Thank you? We worked extremely hard with this and started with a purely explicit chapter then worked our way backwards.
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do you still have the explicit chapter
10913621
I do but it is not released here or anywhere.
Only 1 person has it, and they took it as payment for working on our audiobook.
they drank the snu-snu juice. time 2 fuk lol
One thing that has been bothering me, both here and in other stories is when the main character has some kind of entity in their head- like Pink -and others aren't bothered that their private conversations with the main character always have an audience. Most of the time, when there are some private scenes, the author just ignores the entity. A shame it is the same way here. It would be interesting to see how the scene would play out when both of them know that Pink is always watching. There is no guarantee for Sunrise to shut off her. Even if she Pinkie-promises to not look, how would Sunrise be sure of it.
In this case Nyota has heard of Pink. He knows so little of her, and yet he is not bothered. She is a complete stranger to him living in his partner's head.
It was a little out of the blue that Nyota came in with some cheap drinks. Not everything requires a ton of setup, but the better the book is written, the more its mistakes seem. The story has been riding a good high for a few chapters now. If this kind of writing would show up earlier, I wouldn't even have noticed. You've raised the bar, and with it, my expectations. It's just a complicated way of saying 'good job'.
The bed scene has been praised enough, so I'll just add that I approve of how it is, not NSFW. This way it's better, less distracting of what is more important - the characters.
I'm surprised on the character of Coffee Stained. It is welcome to see a character like this. There is no telling how deep does she go, her motives, their shared past with Sunrise. I'd expect her to act like a very close friend, but she doesn't. The warning from Pink, if not for that, neither Wandering nor I would be so cautious on judging Coffee. Very interesting.
11723439
When the entity in your head and you have similar values the entity tends to be silent.
You will also notice that certain emotional states in movies and other media tend to shut that entity up or cause the voices to calm down.
A really good series that does this incredibly well is Moon Knight, I hate to give Disney credit.
Further; You have to remember that after Ten Hours, Pink and Sunrise are actual friends and friends know when the hell to shut up. If not for that chapter, you're right, this scene would not have been possible because Pink would interrupt it.