"You want me to what?"
Captain Flowers winced at Private Church's intensity, though this wasn't visible through his helmet. "It's a good, workable idea, Private," Flowers explained gently. "It means there won't be any casualties on either side, and will be excellent combat training for everyone involved."
"That's my daughter you're talking about putting up as a prize!" Church snapped back angrily. "And she's barely old enough to talk! And you want to just make her a prize for whoever wins a fight, while she watches us shoot at each other? Are you insane?"
And it's you who's asking, Flowers thought to himself. "Private, before we go any further, I'd like to approach this in a different way. At the moment, it's just a suggestion and a plan, so your refusal is just a disagreement. Now what if it were an order?"
"Then I'd kill you where you stand," Church countered flatly.
Flowers actually took a step back from the sheer intensity of Church's words, and from the completely emotionless way he said it. Had he sounded more feminine, I'd have thought it was Texas...or Carolina, he thought to himself. It must run in the family. "I honestly believe you," Flowers responded readily. "And I honestly believe you'd be capable of it...which is why it's a good thing it's not going to be an order, since I'd hate to have you brought up on mutiny and murder charges. That would hardly be good for Maud."
Seeing Church glance down at that, he knew the tack he would have to approach things from. "But let's look at things from that perspective, shall we?" he pressed. "You are plainly effective in combat, especially when you think or feel her safety is on the line...but just as plainly you don't take care of yourself in the process." He looked pointedly at Church's cybernetic arm. "We're all out of replacement limbs, after all. How long of that, protecting her alone, would you last?"
"I..." Church began, unsure what to say.
"As you said, she's barely old enough to speak," Flowers confirmed. "She needs to have her Father around a lot longer than that. Which means she needs more protectors than just you, especially with how reckless you are with yourself."
"I...I guess you're right," Church allowed worriedly. "But...who can I ask?"
"Well I count five potential helpers right here in this canyon," Flowers offered warmly.
"Five?" Church asked in confusion. "But there's only the three of us."
"And the three Reds," Flowers confirmed. "And that's the beauty of this plan. Not only does it keep all of us in peak condition and skill to protect Maud, it gives the Reds a chance to get to know her and become as charmed by her as you have...and that after less than a week." More proof to my theory of parental affection being the one 'fragment' still inside you, he added silently. He then continued aloud, "And it would be easy enough to convince Sarge to agree that the Reds will work with us to protect Maud from any threat that isn't Red that comes after her for as long as she needs protection...which will be agreed as when you feel she's ready for guns."
"Well...I guess that all makes sense," Church allowed reluctantly. "But how do we know they'll keep their word?"
"Because according to Sarge, all three of them are abjectly terrified that Maud will play jump rope with their intestines if they break their word," Flowers answered readily. "She's already trying to 'be like Mommy' as far as beating people to death with their own skulls, after all." He glanced around nervously. "Where is she, anyway?"
"With Doc," Church responded readily. "He's trying to figure out what pink means on his medical scanner."
"Well, there you have it," Flowers allowed. "I'd count him as a protector, but he's a strict pacifist. So what do you say?"
"Well...I'll talk to her," Church allowed. "No guarantees."
"All I can ask," Flowers allowed happily. "Let me know what she says."
Maud stared up at her father curiously. He'd taken her aside for a private chat, but hadn't said anything yet. So far, he'd just knelt before her looking like he was struggling with something. "Dad?" she asked worriedly.
"Maud...what do you think of the Reds?" he asked finally.
Maud tilted her head in confusion. "Why?"
"It's...it's important."
Maud thought about the three she'd met who were dubbed 'Red'. One was loud, one was squeaky, and one was heavy set. None had been helpful when she had wound up in Red Base without meaning to, but they had made funny noises when she'd made her demands. They were scared of her. "Is Mom scary?"
"Tex?" Church asked in surprise. "Oh yeah, she's terrifying when she wants to be! But why-"
"The Reds are scared of me," Maud explained simply. "I like that."
Church managed a chuckle. "Well, how would you like it if you could go anywhere you wanted in the canyon?"
"Yes," Maud agreed firmly. She would like that very much.
"Well, there's a way to do that," Church explained. "Would you like to see us using guns?"
"Dad...hurt?" Maud asked, her eyes quivering slightly as she frowned.
"Nope, none of us will get hurt. That's a guarantee."
Maud thought about that for a time. "...I get gun?"
"When you're old enough," Church allowed.
Maud thought some more. "Explain?"
"The Red leader really likes you," Church explained. "He'd like an opportunity to convince you to like him, and the best way he thinks to do that would be a situation where you agreed to spend time in Red Base. But being him, he wants to earn it. So we're going to have a mock battle once a week where nobody dies, and you stay at the Base of the winner until the next battle. If you agree."
"Dad?" Maud demanded insistently.
"I'll make sure it's agreed that we can always see each other," Church promised. "You can make more friends. Besides, as gorgeous as you are now, you might as well get used to guys fighting over you. You're going to have plenty of that when you're growing up."
Maud looked up at him for a time...and a small smile graced her face.
"...yup, just like Tex..." Church murmured idly.
.............................Okay, I can see this causing several things off the top of my head.
1) The weekly mock battles will SERIOUSLY help Church's/Alpha's hand eye coordination so he will probably be a PHENOMENAL sniper compared to his canon self.
2) I can also see the Reds having MORE reasons to be scared of Church than what they saw already. And possibly respect him for it.
3) If Tucker ever did one of his crass jokes around Maud, if Maud doesn't kick Tucker, EVERYONE else would gang up and beat him up worse than "Fluffy" when he saw Tucker with the alien energy sword.
Something tells me that the Maud/Fluttershy interactions will be quite interesting once "PWNY THE CROSSOVER" comes along... perhaps as much as the Trixie/Twilight ones! Too bad I'm not good at alt-scripts, or I'd give an example... perhaps one of the more experienced readers?
When it comes time for the big reunion, if Tirek’s nuts aren’t atomized by the shier kick-ass that will be present he is either a.) a god or b.) that stupid. My vote is B.
Very nice chapter, can't wait to see the mock battles and how they change when Donut and Caboose arrive.
.....Oh those poor freelancers, AIs, people of chorus, Locus, Felix and the Blues and reds.....she's going have them so wrapped around her hooves and in some cases in a very literal sense.
also just some early bird speculation. the reason Maud ended up in Gulch in the first place either has to do with one of following people (Not counting Discord as he's ultimately responible) Gamma, Caboose, Loco, or Santa though likely a combination of them I'm hedging on all of the above.
...Okay, now I'm scared.
Is it just me, or is Church taking to Maud a little too quickly here? Seriously, barely knew the girl an hour and he already lost his arm over her. Papa Wolf or not, things do feel to be moving a little too quickly.
8431523
Oh good I thought it was just me.
8431523
IF only the Director had that kind of vibe, then the plot for the series would have taken a completely different course.
It means she is a member of Pie family!
Does that mean an Apple like mine will be red?
8431507
I looked at Santa in this comment, and thought, "Wait, did he mean- Oh. Right, the AI Caboose named."
8431541
Not really, as my reasoning for not being surprised is a major spoiler, im going to use the spoiler tag.
given that project freelance is, at it's core, the Director's attempt to reserect his dead Wife Allison, or as most fans of RVB Know her Texas, it is completely plausible....
Dealing with Freelancers Washington and Carolina later in the series will be fun.
Seems that so long as our Maud A-OK's it, this whole event is ready to go.
When PWNY becomes a thing, I do REALLY want to see how the Scout from FortressShy reacts to this version on Maud.
He'll probably be way past turned on.
8431504
Command better have that shortcut ready!
Ctl + F + U
Speaking of, when will she make an appearance?
8431700
Probably around the start of Season 1, after Michael and Franklin arrive.
When she smiles
8431686
Oh yeah, I forgot they were dating in that story
Maude: "Yes suitors. Die for my hoof."
C: "Okay might be going over board"
T: "Nah, that's almost verbatim what I said when guys ending up fighting for the chance to take me to prom...."
8431442 Okay, I know there's the whole "every universe" theory, but let's not get crazy here. Church, a good shot? Never.
8431507
For some reason, I can picture her shattering Locus's self-imposed illusion about being a soldier with only a couple of sentences.
To some extent, probably.
Holy shit, Church! Thing is, the guy may have the shittiest aim this side of fiction, but if he wants something done, NOTHING will stand in his way.
Flowers, you Magnificent Bastard.
Considering who her sister is, she could probably find a way to do that.
You would be.
Yep. And that both amuses, and terrifies me.
8431442
Or, she tells him to use a gun he's actually competent with. Remember, he missed an enemy at point blank range with a pistol.
8431446
Fluttershy: This is Angel. *pats her minigun*
Maud: I want one.
8431464
Tirek? Chrysalis is the big problem!
8431507
*looks at Pinkie Pie*
8431826
With protecting Maud as his motivation to improve? I wouldn't put it past him. The same goes with Griff and getting into shape in order to better protect her/win the weekly CTF match once she has him wrapped around her hoof and is properly scared sless of her instead of only existentially scared sless like the reds are right now.
8431949
Hmmm... I wonder which would be more effective on a purely baseline mechanical standpoint; Fluttershy's magically augmented weapons from the TF2-verse 2000's or Maud's UNSC ONI Special Forces issue weapons from the 2500's...?
8432021
Answer, whichever one Twilight gets her hooves on first.
Hm... I wonder how Caboose will lose his sanity in this universe... I mean, he started out relatively normal, if not particularly bright... Then, Omega took over him, when he, Tex, and Church left Caboose's brain, ended up doing a number to his grasp of reality...
8431507
I think the most likely explanation is Discord accidentally threw her into that wormhole at the Grand Galloping Gala.
Pink means fourth wall breaker, I think...
8431949
I think they're talking about PWNY Tirek, who is probably going to be from Warhammer 40K or Exalted or something. Something absolutely gamebreaking for a magic eater, at the least.
Do you think Maud can convince Griff to do whatever she wnats for the promise of her special Home Made “Rock Candy”.
8433072
I can see this happening. Maud is on his shoulders with a piece of rock candy dangling from a string on a stick in front of Grif as he sprints through the canyon.
8432589
You have just made me very concerned. I don’t want to see Tirek from...... The 4 Gods of Chaos from 40k raising Tirek..... No.....
Although to Tats. I love continue to love this story, I can wait to see where it goes. My only issue is that I have to wait for chapters to come out.
8432425
Both.
*realizes what happens near the end of red vs blue* oh dear god Maud is gonna make SMILE HD Pinkie look like a puppy dog when that happens
Place your bets readers;
When Tex arrives, how many chapters will it be until the inevitable mother-daughter team-attack on Grif's balls?
8436978
I'd say within the same chapter, but these chapters are short enough to make me wonder how much of a typical episode of RvB each would cover. I'm gonna say no more than 5, though
Oo~ Are we doing this? FortressShy The Nine Fathers situation?
OOO~ I BELIEVE WE MAY BE DOIN THIS!
MAIN DAD
CRAZY DAD
DADDY DAD
LAZY DAD
NERD DAD
GAY DAD
GUNS DAD
ROBO DAD
MY BODY IS READY!!!
8445468
Here we go again.
LET'S PARTY!!!
8436978
I'm all out of bits...can I bet yen? GIve me 5'000 on as soon as he opens his mouth around ei-oh wait that's tucker, cancel that bet.
The second the mock battle happens, I'm playing the sim battle music (the one with Tex fighting Wyoming, Meta/Maine, and York); I also wonder how the other soon new members to come will do in the mock battle. I feel Caboose will either shoot Church of himself in the foot... but with real or the gum bullets, while Donut will throw nades full of the gum stuff, if that's possible, with Tex just recking everyone no matter what team she's on