Captain Flowers stared through a pair of binoculars at Red Base across the canyon. Much as he expected, nothing was happening there. That was the plan, of course. The personalities of both Teams in Blood Gulch had been carefully selected to ensure a permanent stalemate with no one getting killed, because this Simulation wasn't about learning anything. Something was hidden here, something that needed to be kept safe. That was Captain Flowers real job, and he did it by keeping everything as vague as possible.
The Red Team Sergeant was so focused on a twisted ideal of military behavior that it was practically counter-productive all on its own. Combine that with a brown-noser second in command who was better with computers than guns - when the Sergeant would be lucky to use a computer as anything but a blunt instrument - and a lazy trooper who was constantly shirking duty, and Red Team spent more time on 'punishment drills' than actually trying to do anything to Blue Team. Captain Flowers, meanwhile, led Blue Team in such a way to ensure no one ever tried to fight. Private Tucker seemed perfectly fine with this, as he preferred to laze about reveling in his perceived greatness even as he kept himself in shape. Private Church, on the other hand, was a good soldier who obeyed orders...and that was all he was ever supposed to be. That's why Blood Gulch existed in the first place.
Still, as relaxed as Captain Flowers acted, he wouldn't have been selected for this assignment if he were the sort to take it easy on something so important. As such, he was keeping careful track of every soldier in the Canyon, both with his direct uplink to VIC at 'Command' for GPS location - which activated for a predetermined amount of time based on a voice-recognition command - and with visual confirmation through the binoculars. "Let's see where everyone is today," he murmured softly as he swept over the canyon. "Sarge is...yelling at Simmons for losing track of Grif. Grif is...at the top of the cliff with more than half of Red Base's rations. That ought to hold them all a few hours, depending on how long Grif's able to sleep after eating without snoring. Let's see about my men."
He swept the binoculars back towards his own base. "Tucker is...looking at pictures of naked women. Oh that rascal...huh, I think I know that one." Deciding that didn't really matter at the moment, he searched for his primary charge. "And Church is..." He fell silent as he caught sight of Church, near the center of the canyon...too close to the area the Red Team considered theirs for his comfort. "Okay, that is not good...and what is that he's playing with?" He lifted his hand to his radio, the aqua of his armor glittering slightly in the day's light as it passed his visor. "Private Church, what are you doing so far from Blue Base? Did you go for a walk and get lost? You really should get back here. It'd be just terrible if anything happened to you..."
Private Church knelt in his cobalt armor, carefully examining the small creature he'd come across. He'd felt something odd somewhere in his mind, a sensation he couldn't accurately describe, that had compelled him out here this day. He'd wanted to talk with Captain Flowers about the odd feeling, but he'd found himself following it instead. And then he'd seen this odd creature sitting there as though waiting for him, and any other thought had left his mind.
The creature was about the size of a large kitten or a small house cat, but was definitely equine in shape. It had a stone grey coat, a pale purple mane and tail, and the biggest pale blue-green eyes he had ever seen on a living creature...relative to the size of its head anyway, which seemed large for its body. It was looking straight at him with those eyes, its mouth in a very neutral expression as it she took in his appearance.
She? How did he know the creature was female? ...still, somehow he did know that, and the tiny filly seemed to be waiting for him to do something. Setting his gun down, he held out a hand for her to sniff, hoping the scent of armor wouldn't upset her.
The little filly leaned forward and examined his hand carefully...then reached between his fingers and seized a rock that had gotten stuck between the joints that he'd barely noticed. Sitting back on her haunches, she dropped the rock into her fore hooves, carefully examining it in wide eyed fascination.
"So you like rocks, huh?" Church asked in a friendly tone. To his surprise, the filly looked up at him and nodded. "You understand what I'm saying?" Another nod. "Wow. That's just...amazing," he marveled. "I've never seen anything like you before!"
The little filly nodded firmly.
Church turned that over in his mind a few times, then burst into laughter. "Well, whatever you are, you've got a good head on your shoulders. I'm Church. What's your name?" He wondered if she'd even be able to answer, since she hadn't spoken at all yet-
"Maud," the tiny filly responded in a very quiet voice, slightly high pitched but with a flat monotone.
"Maud, huh?" Church marveled. "Well, you speak the language, and you know your name. Wonder how much you've taken in? Can you say Church?" He pointed to himself.
"Dad," Maud replied firmly.
Church waved his arms defensively. "Hey now, I'm just a private! I'm not ready to be a parent, and this place is the absolute worst for kids-"
Maud threw herself forward, wrapping all four legs around Church's right arm. "Dad," she repeated firmly as she nuzzled his elbow.
"Oh what the hell?" Church groaned in frustration.
"Hell," Maud repeated dutifully.
"...yeah, I'm definitely not cut out for being a parent," Church concluded. Right at that moment, his communicator sparked with Captain Flowers message. He immediately opened communications. "Sorry Captain! I didn't realize how far I'd gone. I just...felt I had to come out here."
"Oh?" Captain Flowers asked in surprise. "And what did you find following that feeling?"
"A tiny pony," Church replied firmly.
Captain Flowers was silent for a time, surprising Church. He hadn't thought the easygoing Captain could be rendered speechless. "Say again, Private Church?" Flowers pressed. "You found...what?"
"A tiny pony," Church repeated. "She says her name is Maud, and seems to think I'm her father. ...kinda cute, I have to admit, but really freaking me out now."
"You found an unknown alien sapient in the middle of Blood Gulch?" Flowers clarified. "Hmm...doesn't sound familiar..."
"Familiar?" Church asked, confused.
"Never mind, Church," Captain Flowers responded warmly. "Why don't you and your little pony get back here to Blue Base before someone at Red Team decides she makes good target practice?"
Church's hand immediately, instinctively, went for his gun. He was only snapped out of firing on Red Base - and anything red he could see - because that was the arm Maud was clinging to and she protested the sudden movement by gripping the arm so tightly the armor shrieked in protest even as it warped. What was it about a little girl calling him 'Dad' that had caused him to get so fiercely protective? He wasn't a parent, so why did he have such strong parenting instincts? Questions for Captain Flowers, certainly. "Be right there, Captain," he stated over the communicator. "Come on, Maud. Let's go home."
"...home," Maud murmured thoughtfully before climbing up Church's body before settling on his head.
Church carefully moved his arm, wincing at the protests of the armor. "And Captain, I'm going to need a replacement arm for my armor. Maud kind of crushed it."
"...she did what now?"
Ah, here we go. Ignore my previous comment.
yes that is all
Is this supposed to be area?
Looking forward to another RvB story, if you can capture everyone as well as you did Caboose with your other story we are in for a treat.
Disappointed but laughing my head off...
8369383
Why disappointed?
8369384
RvB (Rooster Teeth work in general) is something I have not, nor feel like I have to see... DBZ (even abridged) on the other hoof...
What season will this go up to?
8369392
13 minimum.
8369396
Thank you for telling me
Huh, wonder if Flowers is gonna survive in this one. Might be fun how he also has an impact on the story.
I’m definitely tracking this. This gonna get real good, real fast.
Blarg?
imcalmimcalmimcalmimcalmimcalmimcalmimcalm
I think I love where this is going
And here we go with the shenanigans. I do wonder if you'll be doing the PSAs RT did between episodes.
AH!!!!!
I never thought you would even TOUCH Red vs Blue!!!!
Oh, I haven't read one of your stories in a while...
This is gonna be GREAT!!!!
I would normally think that Church would be less nurturing to Maud, then again cute ponies defy logic...
Also:
That's true! XD
I mean this in the most possibly polite way, but is Maud going to dry fk the fourth wall? She is a Pie.
I saw the one where Fluttershy was raised in the world of TF2. I wonder how Maud adapts to the insanity of the Reds and Blues? Would she be able to melt Sarge's heart? Or will she get armored made for her?
Caboose is going to lose his mind.
*Reads title whist skiming the featured box. Instantly knows its a RvB crossover. Clicks.
*Sees that the author is Tats... Does somthing between a fangirl squee and a chuckle.
*Reads the first chapter, Favs, Follows, and likes.
*Posts this review.
To the guy/girl who disliked.
It's the other button buddy.
Best horse + RvB= The best story ever! Whoop!
But seriously, I want to see just how Maud will react (via deadpans and vocal inflections) with equally unemotional beings watching over her (the helmets)... Uuuuuunless they take their helmets off.
Let's go!
Wow. Straight to the top and firmly stuck there... and I haven't even started reading it yet.
Honestly, I'm kinda scared to consider how long My Little PWNY is gonna hold the top spot when it eventually gets posted.
WHOO! ...That is all.
Accurate.
One F, my dude.
Maud Pie.
Adorable!
Less than you know.
She crushed his armor with her superhuman strength.
I cannot wait to see where this goes.
...... Okay, considering what Church's armour is made out of.... Damn, Maud... is.. Stong, And thats when she's still a filly...
I bet she's gonna be near One Punch Man levels of strong when she gets older..
I'd like to see the Meta stand up to a hit from her.
Just be aware, there will be a special place in hell for you if this story does not continue...right alongside people that talk in the theater.
I'm wondering where in the series this starts off at.
This is going to be so much fun.
Is this a PWNY story? I'm only asking because I don't remember Maud being on the list...?
Still good though.
8369860
Superequine?
8370120
Both work.
So, this might be weird, but a few months ago, I dreamt/imagined you doing a story like this, but with Starlight Glimmer instead of Maud. Weird, huh.
Yes, all of my yes
8370078
Before episode one. Specifically, before Captain Flowers 'mysteriously' dies.
8370100
It is.
0_0 wow. ...... wonder how tex will react to church being a dad?
(spit-take) MAUD!? With the Reds and Blues...
Makes sense. Put the pony that shows little emotion with the simulation troops that do/not care about everyone else.
What sub crossovers will join this...
8370182
So like around the end of season 10 and the start of season 13, then.
When he gets picked to drop out to look after the Alpha and picks the Reds and Blues out for Blood Gulch.
8370317
Yup.
And eventually moving into Season One.
Interesting. I wonder what shenanigans Maud will get into.
i wonder how much CGtMFWMG's Caboose personality will transfer over to this story's caboose
This is the best thing evar!
Wait, why is this rated 'Everyone'? Isn't Red vs Blue filled with funny F-bombs and hilarious sex jokes? I mean, I love Maud, but the rating doesn't make sense with these characters.
8370800
And you don't think being around a little kid from the start won't lead them to thinking of comedic ways around that just to keep from teaching her more bad things?
Honestly, I might change the rating to Teen, depending on what happens.
I love it already.
I can't wait to see how the Reds, Blues, and others react to Maud. I can totally see Flowers and Curch locking up all of Tucker's porn so she can't find it. Oh, the fun Donut will have with her! I can totally see the two of them having an arm wrestling competition. Now how will Tex react to her???
8370916
I won't deny that...but Church's personality is mainly a rude and grumpy character. And there's Tucker, who is pervert central. Eh, I was just wondering.
8370047
This is a Tatsurou story. There's no point saying things like that. Tats doesn't seem to be able to stop.
8369974
Provided he either isn't charmed by her, what with Theta being in there, and Sigma getting confused.
However, in the likely chance that they fight, I feel that she may actually scare O'Malley when she lands a blow. Which actually makes me wonder what Delta's assessment of her would be.
And yeah, something tells me that maybe the case, if she isn't already like that with her monotone personality.
8370329
I am going to enjoy waiting for the additional crossovers for this.
If any of the Spartan IIs, IIIs, or IVs show up, people are gonna freak!