While Captain Flowers got to work fixing up Tucker's ankle, Maud turned to Church. "Caves?" she requested, a spark of hope in her eyes.
While most might have thought she was only mildly interested, Church was beginning to realize that Maud - like Tex - did not show much emotion, so the little bit she showed tended to speak volumes. The slight hint of a hopeful expression meant she was eagerly yearning to explore the caves she spotted on the way back to the base. "Say Captain, Maud spotted some caves earlier," he spoke up. "Think we could explore them? They...might provide a good assault vector against the Reds? Or maybe just a good picnic spot?" He didn't know which motivation would work better with Captain Flowers. He was an odd one for the military.
"I don't think you should be taking anyone as little as her into any caves," Flowers cautioned gently. "There's all sorts of danger in caves, after all...like snakes or bats. She might get hurt or scared."
"She crushed the arm of my armor," Church pointed out.
"And shattered my ankle!" Tucker wailed out. "Oh my poor foot!"
"And can you imagine what would happen with that strength if a bat spooked her and she kicked out at the wall underground?" Flowers pointed out. "Church, you seem to have good parenting instincts. When you'd trust her to be able to handle a gun, then you can take her into the natural caves of the canyon. Not before."
"Sir?" Church asked thoughtfully. "She has hooves. Not hands. How is she supposed to hold a gun?"
"I'm sure you'll think of something," Flowers allowed confidently. "You're a clever soldier, Church."
Noticing Maud glancing down at the ground, Church tried to press his case. "Captain, she really wants to see the caves. She...really likes rocks. I think she wants to look at all the different kinds around - and under - the canyon."
"In that case, why not take her up to the clifftops?" Flowers suggested. "Plenty of interesting rocks up there, and the views of the canyon are great! You can even see Red Base from up there."
Seeing that perked Maud up, Church nodded. "Alright. Permission to take her on an excursion to the clifftops?"
"Permission granted, Church," Flowers offered warmly. "Go have fun with your little pony."
Nodding, Church scooped Maud up in his arms before turning to leave the base. He found it odd that he naturally clutched Maud in his hands in the same way he would if he were holding a handgun or any other weapon, but it felt natural and she seemed to like it.
Church followed the cliffs around until he found a spot Maud seemed to like, with a wide ledge right about equidistant between Red Base and Blue Base. He didn't like that it was so close to what was considered Red territory, but it was the only cliff that gave a panoramic view of the entire canyon, and Maud had been quite insistent on it. Setting Maud down, he glanced out at the canyon. "So this is home, Maud," he spoke up softly. "Blood Gulch. For the next...I don't know how many years, we're going to be here, endlessly fighting with three guys in armor that isn't Blue over this meaningless canyon, because someone higher up the chain in Blue Command said to. That's our lives-" His meandering monologue was interrupted by what sounded like a jackhammer digging through concrete, muted but echoing from the clifftop right behind him. Turning, he found Maud rapidly driving her hooves into the rock wall, digging out a depression as she went. She'd already managed to get a foot deep, ten feet wide, and just under two feet high. "What are you doing?" he managed to shout loud enough for her to hear.
Maud looked up at him, her eyes soft. "Cave."
Church blinked in surprise. "So...because Captain Flowers said you couldn't go into the natural caves of the canyon...you're making an artificial one of your own for us?"
Maud nodded. "Up?" She rose up on her hind legs, showing she simply couldn't reach high enough to dig out the cave any higher than she already had on her own.
Chuckling softly, Church bent down and scooped her up, holding her at varying heights to the rocky wall. He watched in idle amusement as her hooves flew rapidly, chewing through the stone like a drill...except when she caught the occasional fragment in her teeth and chewed it like candy. She seemed especially happy - for her - whenever she found a fragment this way that contained unusual minerals, and would say so. Church simply let himself enjoy her enjoyment.
"Freeze, you damn dirty Blue!"
Church went stiff as he heard that voice. Even Maud stopping her pounding to look up at him and quietly ask, "Damn?" didn't stop the terror. He'd managed to let a Red sneak up on him. He was dead meat, and Maud probably wasn't much better off. He recognized the Red's voice from Captain Flowers' briefing. This was Sarge...and he was crazy.
"I knew you Blues were up to something when I caught sight of you at the edge of our territory when I was giving Simmons a tongue lashing for losing track of Grif!" Sarge declared intensely. "But I never would have guessed you were scouting out a place to create a hidden ammunition dump for a two-pronged assault on Red Base! Fiendishly clever of you, especially using such a quiet drill to carve it out! But I knew you'd be back, and I was waiting...waiting to strike! Now turn around slowly, and keep that mining tool pointed down so you can't use it against me."
Church turned slowly, coming face to face with the bright Red armor and the shotgun pointed right at his face now. This was not how he expected to die...and he definitely didn't want Maud to see it. She was too young for that...
Sarge glanced down and caught sight of Maud. "...that is the most adorable mining tool I've ever seen," he declared softly.
"Thanks," Maud responded blandly.
"It talks!" Sarge screamed, his shotgun sweeping down towards Maud...only to be caught by Church's unarmored hand.
"Point that thing at me all you want!" he declared intensely, knowing he didn't have the strength or leverage to actually struggle for the weapon without risking Maud getting shot. "But don't you dare point it at my daughter!"
Sarge was silent for a time before slowly lifting the gun back to point at Church's face. "Your...daughter?" he asked, plainly surprised.
"That's right," Church confirmed. "And she's a living, thinking being, not a mining tool..." He paused as Maud picked a piece of rock out of her mane, found gem fragments within it, and split it open to the gem vein with her bare hooves before licking them out like candy before crunching on the two halves. "...however effective she is as one..."
"Did...did she just eat a rock?" Sarge asked, plainly stunned.
"Yeah, I was pretty surprised by that, too," Church confirmed.
"That is so badaaaaaaaples," Sarge announced, stretching his voice out to try and hide what he actually was going to say.
"Damn?" Maud asked him curiously.
"Why didn't you tell me there was a minor with you before I started cussing you out, dam dirty Blue?" Sarge shouted angrily. He glanced down at Maud. "Dam as in the construction used to block a river, which is what I'm going to use the bodies of my Blue enemies to build, which is why it applies!" he explained firmly, as though that made perfect sense.
"If you're going to kill me...could you not do it while I'm holding her?" Church asked hopefully. "She doesn't need the memory of my blood spattering her..."
"Put her down slowly, Blue," Sarge instructed firmly.
Church carefully knelt down to put Maud on the ground before slowly standing upright, holding a stick in her place to show his unarmed status. "And...not in front of her?"
"Maud, you go on back to Blue Base now," Sarge ordered firmly. "You don't want to see what I'm about to do."
"No," Maud stated flatly.
"WHAT?" Sarge gasped in shock. "I gave you an order! This is mutiny!"
"I'm not Red," Maud pointed out logically.
"Oh...right..." Sarge 'hrrrm'ed under his breath for a time, glancing between Church, Maud, and the half dug cave behind them. Finally, he lowered his shotgun. "Nope, I just can't do it. It wouldn't be right to kill a parent right in front of their child. Not only is it cruel to the child, if they aren't destroyed emotionally by it they dedicate themselves to vengeance! And I'm pretty sure she could absolutely destroy me right now! As much as I'd love to see what that kind of natural power and talent would do if shaped over years of training with the goal of making a single individual suffer as much as humanely possible at the hooves of adorable vengeance...not if that individual is me! Do you think you two could stay right here while I go find Grif and make him kill you-"
Maud promptly punched Sarge just above his heel.
"OH MY ACHILLES!" Sarge screamed out as his leg flew out from under him and he fell to his back, clutching at the damaged armor and injury on his leg.
Maud stared at him impassively. Church watched in awe.
"...is that a no?" Sarge asked through a whimper of pain.
"Correct," Maud stated flatly. "I pulled my punch. You did not break."
"Wait...on 'Uncle Tucker' you punch full force, but you pull it on an enemy Red trying to kill me?" Church demanded in shock.
"Family should know better," Maud stated flatly.
Church groaned, shaking his head. "You are so like her..."
Is this right?
68.media.tumblr.com/cdbf90da285da404bb322441b1eda130/tumblr_oab6qxGj681s6dcs3o1_1280.jpg
He makes an excellent point.
Clever girl.
Completely off his rocker.
I love your brand of humor, I really do.
Certainly protective.
It certainly is.
... The worst part is it ALMOST makes sense.
Nope, you're blueish grey.
Even when he has a soft spot, he's freaking insane.
Eh, your Achilles is right above your heel, Sarge.
It's scary to tell the truth.
8383076
That's actually a plot device. A commentor on previous chapters already caught why.
8383067
Oops. Fixing that.
8383078
Fix what?
8383079
Achilles tendon. I got the wrong spot.
8383082
Right. I figured it was intended. Sarge is not the smartest guy.
8383084
But he does know all the best places to injure someone.
8383089
Fair enough.
Did you just use the RvB gun gag? I don't know why, but my life is complete because of that.
So Sarge has designated Maud as a minor miner.
I can't wait to see further interactions with the rest of the BG crew. Though I can see Sarge trying to make her punch Griff and Griff unable to decide if Maud or Tex is scarier. Simmons will go into denial about her strength and try to run tests, but honestly he's the only one I'd trust to do that kind of thing.
I can't wait until TeX shows up. "You replaced me, with a pony?!".
From what I've watched so far, this makes total sense now. And I'm already loving the censorship.
Just one thing: how did Sarge know Maud's name already? Did he overhear the one time Church said it out loud? I would've thought he wouldn't have been close enough yet to hear that (could be wrong, obviously). Or is there some kind of obvious fourth-wall breaking thing going on in RvB that's still going over my head?
Tex is going to end up being her mother. Fact.
8383139
Oh no. I did not need the image of Simmons going through Twilight's experience in Feeling Pinkie Keen! There is so many more lethal accidents that can occur!
8383145
That will be Tex's initial reaction, but after seeing what Maud is capable of, she'll be fine with it.
8383186
for those who seen RvB. Maybe getting to be the mother of Maud will break Tex's Critical flaw.
8383170
oblivious Four wall breaking, is more like it.
My guess is that at some point the Red and Blue team are going to start asking questions why they are in Blood Gulch and with Maud being there, they are likely to join forces at some point as well
Nice! Maud is going to fit right in. But I kind of feel like the Dazzlings would have been a better fit for the Blue Team. Well if they are based off Justice2442's depiction.
Even in written fiction, the machinima seems to have limitations based around the game's mechanics and engine, apparently.
...
...
...
I LOVE IT!!!!!
It is honestly rather surprising, seeing Church not so impatient and with a very short fuse.
Then again, he likely worsened after Flowers' Canonical death.
Except emotions like PISSED and EXTREMELY ANNOYED!
Also, I pictured Sarge slipping into his lower tone of voice when he said 'adorable vengeance'.
8383060
The heel of the left pam would almost be touching the right fingers, held flat under her belly for stability, and she'd leave her forelegs dangling, probably letting them sway to and fro as Church moved her around.
8383139
I'd say Maud.
Tex doesn't have the added factor of adorableness.
IT'S A PONY OF CUDDLY DOOM!!!!!
8383170
Sarge has always been somehow aware of things he shouldn't be. I attribute it to being part of the trait he has of where he'll SOMETIMES be able to understand Lopez perfectly, like in the Relocated miniseries, while others he'll just pretend Lopez is saying something he likes or agrees with.
8383186
You DO know that means Maud is technically going to be Carolina's little sister, right?
8383314
And won't that be amusing.
Anyway, I'm not actually sure. After all, Epsilon considers himself Carolina's brother despite having Alpha's memories.
8383216
Actually, Tex isn't even in Blood Gulch yet, so you can't really replace her. She only said they replaced her when she came back to Blood Gulch to find Sister on Blue Team.
You know what I feel that Maud will change the least in her personality but she will change the Reds and the Blues immensely.
8383060
I can't help but Imagine Maud going "Bang. Bang-bang-bang. Bang bang."
Figured Maud would like Rocky Road if I had to guess. Not sure if she'll be disappointed or add something extra in it.
Just let me go grab Grif and make him kill you
When is Texas coming in the picture?
8383346
North and York did say the fragments called Alpha 'Creator' or 'Father'. So, yes, that still works out.
Oh, now I definitely want Maud to see Tex. I'll bet Caboose will remind Maud of Pinkie Pie...
8383371 That is as funny as it is adorable.
Knowing Grif, I highly doubt he would care or even try. And even if he did, I'm pretty sure Maud would end up punching his balls.
8383077
Which chapter? Skimming the comments on chapter 2, my best guess is Jimmy the full body organ doner. Please note that I have never sat down and watched the series, so wild mass guessing is in full effect.
Just a suggestion/recommendation, but if you're going to give Maud her own custom loadout, perhaps give her a Needler? I even know how she could get it, she's looking for interesting rocks, and she finds the crystals it uses for ammo, which lead to finding the needler.
PS. Are you doing the Death Battle episode? Please say yes.
8383216 its not Pinkie Sense, its Super Strength. Caboose is super strong to, Simmons just needs to figure out if Maud has weight limits to how much she can lift, how fast she can break through rock, and how she can eat rocks.
8383186
Maud: "Mum."
Tex: "No."
Maud: "Yes."
Tex: "No."
Tucker: "How long have the girls been at it?" he asks, visibly groaning as he tried not to use his catchphrase near Maud
Church: "I dunno, dozed off for a bit. Their monotone is surprisingly soothing."
Donut is gonna "squee" like a gradeschool girl when he joins the canyon.
How does that work? He'd have no grip on her like that and it would be uncomfortable and painful.
Suck it red.
8383893
One hand under her barrel, one hand under her rump and legs, gently gripping and holding her out the way they do a Magnum in the series.
8383772
that I see happening. jest so much.
8383772
I just rewatched the Death Battle episode, so let me see if I have this correct. Church is the memory imprint of Project Freelancer's original AI, being rehabilitation into full AI status, while Texas is an AI based off of Carolina's mother, and Carolina will eventually get a disembodied Church as her AI partner.
...part of me wants to cry inverted digital Oedipus Complex, with a dash of biological Daddy Issues. The rest of me is contemplating taking up drinking to drown the first part of me out.
8384079
Let me explain it completely.
The director of project Freelancer took one smart AI and used his own mind as the blueprint for it. To get more Smart AIs to use for the Freelancer Project, he forced the AI to fragment itself. Alpha (Church) is what's left after all the fragments were removed. Epsilon (the Church with Carolina) is the fragment representing Memory, which is why he can call up echoes of the other fragments to help him in various situations. Texas was the first Fragment to appear, dubbed Beta, and represents the memory of Allison.
8384089
I just re-rewatched the Death Battle, and now I get it. I blame DB's narrow focus. That said, you mentioned that Tex was Beta, and the episode lists Beta as one of The Meta's captured AI. I am sad now.
8384192
That detail is actually incorrect.