Water You Waiting For
As Uncle and the Crusaders began their training of Tohru and Jade respectively, they were interrupted by the sound of jet engines descending towards the shop. "Jackie!" Uncle roared out. "Find out who is making all that noise!"
Groaning, Jackie descended the stairs to the front of the shop, feeling rather self conscious in bright pink yoga pants and a muscle shirt. Admittedly, Viper's choice of relaxation activities - leading him through some yoga exercises - hadn't been what he expected, but it had done the trick. He was feeling much better and ready for whatever the world could throw at him. Confident in this, he opened the door.
An SR-71 Blackbird was parked on the street in front of the shop, gremlins visibly racing around inside of it. A young man who Jackie could have sworn had wings instead of arms - until he blinked - saluted. "Jet's ready to go, got the gourd, spellbook, and ingredients loaded up. Here to pick up warriors and chi wizards for demon hunting."
"...what?" Jackie asked, confused.
"We're from Veil Liaison Offices," the young man explained. "Valmont and his goons were seen in Rome, which means he's gunning to free Bai Tsa. Everybody load up!" Turning, the young man leapt into the open cockpit of the jet, settling into the front seat.
"...I was not ready..." Jackie murmured softly.
Valmont glanced around worriedly as he, Ratso, Finn, Chao, and Daolong Wong entered the Roman Colosseum, certain it wouldn't be long before Jackie Chan and his extended family showed up to attack. Whatever he did here, it would have to be fast. Thankfully, he'd brought a few backup plans...but he always liked having an extra edge. "Shendu," he asked suddenly, "can you still generate Talisman magic without the Talismans? And can you call on the Shadowkhan without your body?"
"The Shadowkhan are always at my command," Shendu hissed in response. "As for the Talismans...other than dragon fire, the rest will greatly drain my strength if overused, and yours as well."
"How big a drain for five seconds of Rabbit speed in my arms?" Valmont inquired.
"...negligible," Shendu responded, though his tone was plainly curious. He had begun to respect Valmont's cunning, and was genuinely intrigued by his mind. He wondered what sort of plan he had.
"Ratso, find the portal and open it," Valmont instructed. "And everyone, make sure you have your thermoses."
Shendu's confusion increased as Daolong Wong's Dark Warriors brought out a table and each of the Enforcers set down a thermos glowing with Dark Chi. Ratso, meanwhile, brought the box over to a lion carving at one end of the arena. The Box shot a beam of light at the carving, transforming it into a diamond pattern with a hole for Bai Tza's trigram. The Box floated out of Ratso's hand and embedded itself in the keyhole. The outer side irised open, revealing the green core before sending a beam of chi into the ground, opening a green gateway that swirled with red and yellow within.
A torrent of water swarmed up out of the portal, taking the shape of a blue skinned, fish-faced mermaid with blue tentacles for hair, white and blue armor garbing her form. "At last...freedom!" Bai Tza cried happily as the portal closed behind her and she hovered in the air. "You are most efficient, Valmont," she purred softly, giving the young man bedroom eyes.
"As much as I would love to speak with you at length, especially when such a lovely creature is paying me compliments..." Valmont smiled to himself as he saw Bai Tza actually giggle at the compliment. "I'm afraid we must make haste. The Chans have more resources at their disposal than anticipated, and the best way to avoid conflict is to make them believe we haven't achieved our objective here yet. How soon can you assume human form?"
Bai Tza frowned as she glanced around. "Unfortunately, my powers derive entirely from my Element," she explained. "Near or within my domain, I can do anything I can visualize my powers accomplishing. Outside it, I am...far more limited."
"So you must be immersed in water before you're able to take a human form," Valmont concluded. "Inconvenient, but I was prepared for this eventuality. Was your departure from the portal magical effect alone, or can you assume pure water form at will?"
"That power is readily at my disposal," Bai Tza confirmed.
Valmont pulled out a thermos marked with Dark Chi runes and popped it open. "Then as undignified as it is, I am afraid I must ask you to do so and enter here. It will be an uncomfortable trip, but it is roomier than it seems."
Bai Tza's frown deepened. "You ask a great deal-"
"I fear to lose your regard, dear lady, but I'm afraid I'm not asking," Valmont interrupted. "It's either this or fight the fully prepared Chans!"
Bai Tza blinked in surprise at being told off...and smiled. Her body softened, and in liquid form she dove into the thermos, the small bottle somehow completely containing her. Valmont instantly capped the thermos and screwed it shut. "How close are the Chans?" he demanded of Daolong Wong.
"Close enough to have seen that," the dark wizard reported, his eyes glowing yellow as he looked through his Dark Warriors as they kept watch.
"Plan B it is," Valmont concluded as he walked over to the table, standing behind it as the Chans arrived in a high speed buggy.
"Jackie!" Uncle proclaimed as they all poured out of the vehicle. "Thermos is protected by powerful dark spell! Banishment spell will not reach demon through it!"
"Then we'll just have to get it open!" Jackie declared as the group gathered.
"Which one?" Valmont asked curiously. "This one?" He held up the thermos that had Bai Tsa inside. Rabbit power now, Shendu!
Shendu immediately put the power of super speed into Valmont's arms...and watched in amazement as he blurred them over the thermoses, rapidly switching them around until the naked eye couldn't track which one was which. Shendu now understood Valmont's plan, as all four thermoses had identical spells on them and were visually identical.
"Or this one?" Valmont asked, holding one of the thermoses up. "Or maybe this one?" he asked, setting that one down and picking up another.
"Then we'll just have to grab 'em all!" Jade shouted out, her and the fillies charging for the table.
Flame! Valmont snapped in his mind, taking a deep breath. Shendu provided, and a blast of fire shot over the heads of the youngsters, making them duck. Tohru grabbed Uncle, Jackie, and Viper and pulled them aside...and the blast of flame reached its true target, destroying the Chans' vehicle. "Scatter!" he ordered his troops as he tossed a thermos to each of them. Daolong Wong, Finn, and Chao each caught one, while Daolong Wong sent Ratso - who still held the Pan'ku Box - directly back to their base.
"Dark Wizard warping spell not strong enough to carry demon!" Uncle called out. "Get thermoses!"
Valmont grinned as the group split up to pursue. As he'd expected, the arid environment that had been of such great discomfort for Bai Tza also limited Audrey's ability to act and Apple Bloom's resources, meaning the biggest concern was Scootaloo on Cumulo. The rest could run, but not quite fast enough. To his surprise, the Chans played even more into his plans since Jackie pursued him while Uncle - on Tohru's shoulder - pursued Daolong Wong, Viper chasing Finn and the fillies on Cumulo chasing Chao.
He kept up his run until he reached the alleyways he'd been looking for. Shendu, can you give me command of one Shadowkahn?
You have it, Shendu replied immediately, afire with curiosity.
Feeling the tug of darkness, Valmont visualized what he wanted...and a blue-skinned hand wrapped in black cloth extended out of a shadow portal. Tossing his cane lightly into the air, Valmont reached into his jacket and pulled out a fifth thermos - the one that held Bai Tsa, which he'd slipped in there while dazzling the Chans with the shell game - and placed it in the hand. As he'd hoped, the summoned ninja pulled the thermos through the Shadow Realm, and he felt it deposited safely on his desk.
Now all that was left was for each of the group to be cornered. Daolong Wong would warp himself away as soon as he was cornered for the thermos, and each of the others - Valmont included - would open theirs. As soon as each thermos opened, it would release a prepared warp spell that Daolong Wong had bottled at Valmont's instruction, warping them back to base.
While the least pleasant plan - especially for Bai Tsa, who would have to endure travel through the Shadow Realm while in sensory deprivation - it had gone off without a hitch.
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YOU MAGNIFICANT BASTARD VALMONT!!! NOW THIS IS AN AWESOME VILLAIN!!!
I love a good competent villain, especially since he could have immolated Jade and the Crusaders but aimed for the car instead. I really want his relationship with Bai Tsa to endure and the two of them to end up together. Heck, if she lost her powers and was stuck as a human I bet he'd still like her and would support her.
I am REALLY linking this Valmont.
Definitely saying it isn't such a stretch that most of us assumed Viper had another activity that might've coiled Jackie up. But hey, at least he's tickled pink otherwise.
Really, seems that the demons can't wait on Romeing free.
Plan B for Valmont might as well have been a warm up with those thermoses.
Why does Valmont seem more and more competent as this fic goes on? I'm beginning to wonder if HE'LL end up ruling the world instead of the demons!
8017812
It has been theorized that since the time travel episode was skipped, Valmont's Villainy Decay has been averted. He is still the competent schemer that he was at the start of the series, rather than the comic relief that he devolved into in canon.
8017837 I'm aware of that idea, and actually supported it... up until now, when he instead seems to getting MORE competent as time goes on. I wouldn't expect "start of fic" Valmont to be THIS cunning, it's essentially a complete reversal of the Canon trend, rather than a negation.
8017812
8017837
I think the answer is ponies. They change things for the heroes and the world around them, so why not make certain villains more competent?
I hope Valmont moved his headquarters because I would have someone waiting for him in case he did slip away...of course since that time travel thing was taken care of he is although I would be tracking his movements and using known intel to track him down.
This is why I love your Valmont. This is what an international crime boss should be like. I mean, damn. Plans within plans and contingencies, knowing when to pull back from a futile battle, and exploiting your resources. This just keeps getting more awesome.
Well I will admit that yoga can be relaxing, I feel the need to point out to Tatsurou that, as a martial artist myself, I feel like Jackie would probably prefer meditation over yoga as meditation is a active part in many martial arts practices.
Also, Valmont you clever bastered.
Calling it now: some, if not all, of Shendu's siblings may just hang around and enjoy the modern world. This includes Bai Tsa.
Too bad the Chan does not have anyone that can complete with Valmont's shrewdness.
8017925
Oh, he does ... but said person is technically too busy being shell-shocked by "Magic is now normal, and now there is stuff in my organization I have no clue about"
In short, if Captain Augustus Black were up to snuff on his regulations, protocols and such in the new world, he'd be able to help them plan to and counter Valmont, to a degree ... not much of a counter to him being able to use Shendu's powers at HIS will, though ...
This just keeps getting better and better and better and better and better and better.
Valmont I do love you so in this fic, you are getting right up there with Command and Conquer's magnificent bastard Kane.
Well done well done so far, I am happy that even with the ponies around. Valmont is able to tip the scales back in his favor by just being a tricky clever bastard, if you can't win in a straight fight...trickery and clever tactics sure will help make up the difference.~
8017842
...so instead of dwindling resources leading to villain decay, Valmont is using these experiences as an opportunity to learn and improve. Makes sense to me that he's getting more effective rather then less.
You know, 20+ years ago I watched the show but ICR Uncle's name (if it WAS ever mentioned?). It occurs to me, if Dao was in school with Uncle, he must know. Him, Toru's mother, & the taxman -a closely held secret. It must be something pretty embarrassing.
It occurs to me Too Much Occurs To Me -I need to get a life (maybe on E-bay?)
8017789
Yes, this...all of this!! If there was ever a time I felt validated for liking a villain and his swagger, it's now!! In all seriousness, this is the most pulse-pounding and well thought out adventure I've seen yet!! I don't know how you do it, but you got Valmont at the top of his game, and it shows!! I can't wait to see what comes next!!
8017999
Well said. I hated how Valmont suffered the most egregious case of villain decay ever in the original serie. The way he is earning the respect of Shendu and his siblings says a lot.
damn your Valmont's actually useful and intelligent. That's a scary combination for a villain. the Chans are gunna need to be extra careful from here on out
Screw Shendu, Daolong Wong, or any of the other demons, Valmont is the true big bad here!
Now that I think of it, there was a recent movie regarding Jackie Chan that may or may not be of relevance to this chapter.
Valmont is running one hell of a Xanatos gambit here...I love it!
Okay, this Valmont is getting respect from even Shendu at this point, and the hot evil lady of water likes him as well. If only they had more help to deal with this!
… did Valmont get those thermoses from FentonWorks?
8018192 I know the portal quest goes to Boston at one point. Did it ever go to NYC? Which in this world that knows of magic might have a certain wealthy businessman who has interesting dealings with magical beings and a detective of the NYPD?
Oh, and speaking of Boston, Jackie Chan shares his birthday (April 7) with a famous member of the Boston Red Sox: Bobby Doerr.
One out, many left...
Wow. That was amazing.
Holy shit! This Valmon is BRILLIANT!! Like the amount of strategy and careful attention to detail that he has is astounding.
II also love the Yoga scene, because you made us all think that Viper was going to seduce Jackie instead. Though I'm still shipping it HARD!! >=)
8017733 is there anything that stumps you, oh master of the pun?
Is it bad that I'm actually rooting for Valmont (not necessarily the demons) in this fic?
8017812 ... Would that really be that bad?
Because he's competent enough to provide good care for his minions under his care.
Now imagine the world under his care.
Probably would take care of it.
You fuckin, tricky little tease.
That is worth some applause sir
I hope things go better for Valmont.
It's a shame that in the end he was reduced to driving tourists around to just get by...and then ran off when Jackie recognized him.
This basically sums up the chapter:
While I like how competent Valmont is in this story, I feel like it got a bit out of hand in this chapter. It just felt like he had too many assets in place too quickly and guessed right about too many things for it to be really believable. I think this would have worked a lot better if you had mentioned a strategy session with Bai Tsa and Daolong Wong happening prior to the actual showdown to get all the details worked out and then a few days of prep time making the bottles to make it clear that this was the result of hard work rather than perfect knowledge and assets out of nowhere because as is it really pushes the limits of plausibility.
you realise your overusing the whole 'karma out of balance' thing right? yes a new evil needs to replace shendu but you've replaced him with several, if good doesn't receive a stupidly powerful boost soon you lose the vindication there.
8018496
Clearly, this Valmont has read the Evil Overlord List. And it's extensions. A few times.
ok. who the heck was Jackie talking to at first? because I have no idea who.
Chapter Ninety Six
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 45
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 79
8018064
It was never mentioned in the show. Everyone called him Uncle. Even his shop was "Uncle's Rare Finds".
8018600
Except these assets aren't out of nowhere. Here were Valmont's plans.
Plan A: If Bai Tza can immediately turn into a human, he has Daolong Wong cast a disguise spell on himself (Valmont), then run away from the Dark Warriors as soon as the Chans were in sight (thus being mistaken for terrified civilians). While Daolong Wong, Enforcers, and Dark Warriors keep the Chans busy, Valmont and Bai Tza make their way to the ocean, where Bai uses her power to take them back to base through the ocean. Daolong Wong warps himself and Ratso away, while the others use the prepared 'warp in a bottle'.
Plan B: Assuming Bai can't transform to human immediately but can turn to water, put her in the thermos. If Chans didn't see it happen, act like they're still looking for the portal. If they did see, confuse them as to who has the real thermos (original plan involved huddling up before turning to show everyone had one), then scatter. While running, hand the thermos off to the Shadowkahn, either by telling Shendu to summon one and what to order them, or do it himself with Shendu's cooperation. (The Rabbit Talisman shell game was a sudden impulse on Valmont's part out of a flair for the dramatic). If Shadowkahn can't take the thermos alone, have them take him through while holding the thermos.
Plan C: if Bai Tza can't transform to water, summon the Shadowkahn in force. While the majority hold the Chans back, have a handful escort Bai Tza to the nearest water source (a fountain they'd already located with a drain that connected to larger sources, and eventually the ocean) so she can use her powers to a greater extent, or through the Shadow Realm to the base, whichever works better.
And the thermoses were made on the plane ride to Rome. All that takes is the right ingredients (which it's been established Valmont provides Daolong Wong already) and an investment of magical energy (which Daolong Wong has plenty of).
A shell game to hide Bai Tsa from the Chans and crew? This is why you don't underestimate - or depreciate - a proper British villain. I've always like Valmont, and this story has done nothing but reaffirm that. Keep it up, Tatsurou!
Moon demon and Wind demon
One is in Space the other one is in a prison how you going to make that one work?
8018712 I still say that we hail our pony overlords though.
8018348 The portal hunt never went to NYC, just the initial Talisman hunt - it's where Viper's originally based.
As for Mr. Xanatos, well...there's no certainty that he'd be willing to act as a consultant to Section 13 and the Chan Clan, but if we was, well, he would be an asset.
8018897 It still would have made much more sense to talk with Bai Tza (and Shendu for that matter) ahead of time to have plans that don't hinge on unknown abilities. Showing that the planning was happening (literally one line where he asks to speak with Bai Tza to plan her release) also would have significantly helped things by making it clear that this was carefully coordinated and build on an understanding of everyone's abilities ahead of time, not him guessing right because the plot demands it which is what it kind of feels like as is.
I'm torn between awe and shock for the plans and how the story changes completely overhauled the series. I love it.