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A phone call from Captain Black brought Jackie an unexpected surprise the following day. "I'm sorry, Captain, could you repeat that?" Jackie asked carefully.
"Valmont is in Hollywood," Captain Black explained simply. "Unfortunately, there is nothing criminal about his actions that we can see or prove, so we can't send in our own agents or call on more magical authorities. The red tape in that regard is just as thick as I expected it to be."
"So we can't expect any official backup in this case," Jackie groaned as he rubbed his forehead. "At least tell me we'll still get transportation?"
"You'll have to make your own way there too, I'm afraid," Augustus admitted. "I have a few contacts down there who can help you get a few resources, but that's about it."
"Well, that's something," Jackie grumbled under his breath. "We're certain this is demon related?"
Captain Black was silent for a time. "Actually...we aren't. All we know for certain is that Valmont's in Hollywood with an unknown young lady, and his usual Enforcers are close at hand. To all appearances...it almost seems like a vacation. Still, my instincts say something's off."
"And you want us to check it out, just in case he's releasing another demon," Jackie concluded. "We still have no idea where he's squirreled away Bai Tza..."
"Exactly," Augustus agreed. "So I can count on you?"
"We'll be there!" Jackie confirmed, hanging up the phone.
"So where will we be, exactly?" Jade asked hopefully as she came down the stairs.
"Hollywood," Jackie explained. "And yes, I do mean all of us. With everything Valmont has at his disposal, if there is going to be a confrontation, we need everything we can bring to bear. And if it's not, any accidental confrontation could be smoothed over if it's a 'family trip'."
"And there's that event for the big star Jade's so fond of," Viper added as she came down the stairs. "What was his name? Raphaelo Di'Capizzio, or something like that?"
"That's him! That's him!" Jade cried out, bouncing eagerly. "And he's only the biggest star of anything since...ever!" She gestured to a couple posters she had hung up. "And it's not just any event! He's getting his footprints in cement at the Chinese Theater!"
"So does anyone else think that'd be the perfect place in Hollywood for a portal to release a Chinese Demon to be hidden?" Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as they went over their lesson plan for Jade's magical training.
"Makes sense," Scootaloo confirmed.
"Ah'd put money that way," Apple Bloom agreed.
Uncle chuckled over the fuss Jade was making. "Greatest ever, eh? Then I guess you have never heard of John Wayne?"
Tohru sighed nostalgically. "The Duke..." He lifted one hand as though lifting a cowboy hat. "Saddle up, pilgrim," he continued, feigning a Western accent.
Viper shrugged. "I dunno. I was always more a fan of Bruce Lee."
"What?" Jackie demanded, finding himself offended for some reason. "What's so great about him?"
Viper shrugged coyly. "What can I say?" she asked teasingly, smirking at Jackie. "I've always liked a real fighter."
Jackie blushed, chuckling nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Hey, maybe we could find a producer down there and turn Jackie into a movie star!" Jade suggested eagerly.
"And when's he gonna have time ta be a star between huntin' demons, archaeology, helpin' raise us, and Viper?" Apple Bloom asked playfully.
"Yeah, I guess his schedule's kinda full," Jade admitted. "Especially that last part."
"Wait, what?" Jackie demanded in confusion as Viper joined in with the girls in giggling at his expense.
Valmont smiled to himself as the limo drove his group down into Hollywood. Finn, Ratso, and Chao were here as his bodyguards, looking forward to enjoying themselves while they were down here. Bai Tza sat behind him, silently marveling at how advanced human machines had become since she last walked the Earth. Given their cover story this time around, she had traded her more revealing garb for a shimmering blue dress that hung down from her right shoulder to just past her knees and seemed to flow in the air as though it was made of water. Much to Valmont's insanity, despite having gotten just such a dress made for her, Bai Tza insisted on actually wearing one made of water...one specifically held together by her power and concentration. She had teasingly suggested to him what might happen if said concentration were to...slip...
She loves to drive me wild, doesn't she? he thought to himself, not for the first time. Thinking back to the revelation he'd received from Xiao Fung earlier, he reminded himself, But that's not all she loves... Smiling, he moved to rest his hand on hers.
To his surprise, she turned to stare at him wide eyed, only to look down in a vain attempt to hide a blush.
He smiled to himself. Well, it seems the balance of power here isn't as entirely one sided as I'd thought. ...good. That makes it more fun. Seeing the sudden smirk that crossed her features, he realized he wasn't the only one to come to that realization.
As the limo pulled to a halt, Valmont waited for the door to be opened before stepping out, turning back to chivalrously help Bai Tza out. This was going to be a nice little vacation...and releasing another of Bai Tza's siblings, to boot.
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I think this loving couple is cute
Well now I'm curious about who these contacts Captain Black has spoken of could be...
I'm just going to say this:
Two couple, one fanfic
I'm sure Bai Tza had a fluid thought process on deciding her dress.
This Hollywood trip is probably gonna be cemented as one of Jade's best experiences ever.
We all know Jackie can't fight Viper's logic at that point.
And for that you get two bonus points at once!
Damn females and their mind games!!!
*eye twitches*
Ahem
*stand and go to wall to bang head against it*
I will not spend all my money to have suggestive art made.
I will not spend all my money to have suggestive art made.
I will not spend all my money to have suggestive art made.
8070600
This made me laugh.
8070600
You will spend money to have suggestive art made.
You will spend money to have suggestive art made.
You might want to ask someone if you can spend money on him to have suggestive art made.
Greatest ever?
Comedy Marx Brothers
Action Clint Eastwood (acting) Chuck Norris (action side of action)
Musical Elvis (Hey, when he had a decent script to work with. Look at King Creole, for instance)
Straight up actor Paul Newman (The Hustler, The Stuntman, Cool Hand Luke)
Overall Barbara Streisand. Hey, you got someone that can't sing & made it as a singer. You got someone with a big nose, flat chest & mildly cross eyed who made it as a sex symbol, & can't act who made it as an actress . THAT takes talent!
I have a feeling that this is going to end up with the demon seal being on a movie set with the climax of the movie being produced involving Good Chi Warrior Jackie vs. Demon Sorceror Bruce Lee, with the fight being postponed as Valemont gets away and the sequel promising the fight.
And Uncle for the correct answer!
For Comedy: Red Skelton
But when it all comes down to it, NONE of the present batch of actors are capable of holding their own against the past actors of Hollywood. They are of a whole other class of people
A few things first. I see something happening to Bai Tza's dress, she has to concentrate to keep it and we have the CMC within a mile of her. Next I suspect that Jackie either thinks he is better or Chuck Norris, given his reaction I am going with him. I see this going sideways very fast for both groups for some reason.
Anyone else think it would have been kind of hilarious if Apple Bloom was a fan of John Wayne movies to. I mean her sister is a cowboy by all accounts and with Uncle being a huge fan I'm amazed he didn't show the girls the movies from time to time.
Also nice work with the Bruce Lee line there, people some times forgot that in one of his early movies Bruce actually fought Jackie who was acting as a henchman and promptly kicked his ass. Guess Jackie is still sore about it.
it would be fun to see Bai Tza being able to make viper and jackie feel like virgins without really trying, to the point that the crusader cant help but admire her, and i really hope that there isnt a catfight between viper and Bai Tza she has more than enough experience to deal with her just using psychology
Is this going to be their next real confrontation? I look forwards to it! Have some Micheal Bay explosions in the background followed by slow motion action sequences set to romantic music and doves flying in the background.
...now I really want to see Viper vs. Bae while Jackie and Vdog watch. Buy I'm really not sure what a fight between those two would look like. Maybe a game of cat and mouse? With plenty of banter being shouted back and forth as they hunted?
I'd laugh really hard if they each tried to seduce the other's man.
Vdog: "You are an incredibly attractive woman, and if I didn't have the literal demon sorceress queen of the sirens as my partner, I'd probably be much more willing to give in. But as it stands...well, you'll have to stick with your oblivious martial arts master." Gestures to other side of room where Jackie is fighting Bae. Bae is dodging and weaving like water through all of Jackie's strikes while constantly making less-than-subtle offers and innuendos. All of which Jackie takes literally, preferring to continue their fight in their current room, rather than the bedroom, and positing that he would rather stay dry, as fighting while wet is uncomfortable.
Somehow I can think that Velmont could schedule a "inspection" in Uncle antique shop, to distract Jackie, or maybe have someone to arrest Jackie for something, enough time to have them distracted and release some brothers
So, will it be 103, 104, or 105 parts done in one year?
FYI: the first part of this was posted 4 days after Jackie Chan's birthday (April 7)
This story just gets more intriguing every chapter. Pretty funny with the Bruce Lee reference.
Also, to the author of this story, based on some of the comments I've read, do you actually mind if people make art based on this story?
8071522 there are old comics about Flutter "Not the Momma" Shy in DeviantArt
8070610 t' was phunny
8071522
I love seeing art based on my stories!
8071561
Oh ok, since this story is so good, I'll try and see about finding someone to commission art for this story, since I can't draw for myself. I think a pic of Valmont and the human version of Bai Tza would be an excellent sort of pic to see. I can't promise that I'll actually find someone, but if I do, I'll let you know. You're doing a great job with getting us invested in the characters, especially the villains.
It's weird how when Valmont had the demons agree to become human, it actually means 'becoming human' in a more literal sense AND a metaphorical one. If that was intentional, I applaud it.
8070600 When your resolve fails, be sure to provide us a link
"Oh, hello Chans. You just activated my trap card..."
"Like what you see, Chan?"
Bad day...?
8071588
Looking forward to it! And I'm glad you enjoy it so much.
Chapter One Hundred Two
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 45
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 80
8071390
It's fully intentional. I've been doing it in all my comments for a while. Vdog and Bae OTP.
dose any one see the street fighter actor making a cameo in here? or even rose?
8071772 I'm hoping for Johnny Cage.
I just realized the bad guy bonded to the dragon is dating the biggest nymphomaniac in existence
why do I have a feeling that a "third" party will broker a peace treaty when all of the demons are free.... balance must be equal between light and dark......
8070902 Bruce Lee's better at the "pure" martial arts; Jackie's specialty is taking advantage of the environment. Lee played his fights straight; Chan plays them as slapstick comedy.
Bruce Lee would kick Jackie Chan's butt all over the dojo a regulation match; in a less regulated setting, it'd go the other way. Of course, on screen, the script decided it, and a rematch today would involve a time machine...
8072243 That is adorable... though I can see her turning to the Crusaders if her new pet needs some special needs or something just to get their advice. I can also picture Valmont and Bai Tza having to come to a Parent Teacher Conference for Adagio... only to find she's been fighting with Jade or the Crusaders when Jackie and Viper are there also and the two adult couples have to be civil to one another in front of the principal or teacher. Though I can see Bai and Viper sitting back and letting the men talk discipline while trading date stories, "Jackie took me to (Insert place here)!" "Well Valmont took me shopping in Paris!" back and forth.
Can't go wrong with John Wayne.
There are many other classic icons, like Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire.
Very nice chapter, can't wait to see if everyone thinks the whole thing is special effects despite knowing about magic. I like Uncle and Tohru saying John Wayne is the best.
So since they're in Holywood, can we hear the favorite movies of the Dark Hand as they try to convince Bai Tza what she should watch???
I hope they make a reboot of this series. It was actually non cringey for me to watch again.
8071684
I, uh, meant from the show itself. Can't remember if he did.
But I like the effect it had on baby scoots here, so whatever.
orig12.deviantart.net/b686/f/2013/346/0/e/derpy_whatever_vector_by_lpsfreak-d6xm3ye.png
Is the John Wayne thing also a reference to Shanghai Noon? I'm a little confused on Captain Black, last I checked Valmont is one of the worlds most wanted criminals so even if he's not doing anything illegal at the moment they should still sending agents to arrest his ass. I bet it will be hard for Bai Tza to not blow her cover by getting into a fight and even more embarrassing for her to act like a defenseless woman running away from the action and will have to rely on Valmont to 'save' her. The fact this is taking place in Hollywood is even more delicious.
What if scenario: after many public appearances of Valmont and Bai Tza being together to confirm them being a couple, she goes to the authorities after 'finding out' Valmont's criminal life which gets inside Section 13 for protection as she snoops for whatever she was sent to find while giving away false information to the Chans sending them on wild goose chases and traps.
8073146
He may be most wanted, but that's because nobody has enough evidence to arrest him. If Section 13 officially went after him when there's no sign of illegality, he could press charges of harassment against them, which would seriously hobble future attempts to pursue him. Whereas if another family of civilians just happens to be in the city at the same time for a valid reason and happen to hit all the same places he does...well, that's just a coincidence.
8073150
I'm pretty sure Section 13 has plenty of evidence of Valmont's criminal activities including all the things he did back in season one.
8073158
In canon, the inability to pin anything on him is why he was always at large.
8073160
What about the time he rob the New York City Bank and Fort Knox or the whole freeing Shendu thing? Now that magic is common knowledge it shouldn't be an issue to prove that.
8073168
No security cameras captured him actually robbing those places...and as for Shendu, he has an iron clad alibi in the form of no less than 100 'upstanding citizens' swearing he was nowhere near the place when Shendu broke free.
Valmont is basically the modern day Al Capone, but with too many lawyers to be gotten for tax evasion.
Also, Daolong Wong's presence works against proving Valmont's involvement now, because any actual sighting of him at a criminal event could easily be 'an illusion cast by a rogue Dark Wizard to confuse things', while he has his iron clad alibis set in stone before the event even takes place.
8073172
OBJECTION! Rewatch the episode, when Valmont broke into the NYC bank he was caught on camera.
8073182
Yes. Camera footage that can no longer be recovered because said cameras were destroyed, and Valmont had his alibi of being somewhere else.
In the non-magic timeline, his escape via the Shadow Realm caused everything to be brushed under the rug because no one wanted to admit they saw something impossible.
In the magic timeline, Valmont has officially never involved himself in magic, and thus anything magical happening around him must be someone trying to discredit him, especially since he was plainly elsewhere at the time, as said 100 upstanding citizens will attest.
8073184
Even if the cameras were destroyed, the footage still exists and Section 13 has footage of that robbery. Video footage proof trumps so called witness testimony since they can't prove it.