Bad Luck Catty
Jade groaned as she began to regain consciousness. Her head throbbed and it hurt to open her eyes, but her nose twitched as it went into overdrive. She picked up several scents she instantly recognized: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Hsi Wu in human form, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk. She wasn't sure how she recognized them by scent so readily, until she caught the unmistakable feline musk bound up in every scent but Hsi Wu's. Right, I've gone catty, she thought to herself. Well, let's see what other scents I can pick up until the rest of my senses are ready... She took a few more sniffs, trying to get an idea of her surroundings.
She smelled old blood, a great many Egyptian herbs, a lot of feline musk, burning torches, some form of paint, and dark holy magic. She frowned at identifying that last scent until she recalled the talk about how even Gods - who were all holy - ran the gamut from light to dark. So that means...
"Yeah, we've been captured by a cult," Adagio told her calmly as Jade's eyes started to open. "Did you make a lot of use of the Monkey Talisman or something? You're adapting to animal instincts a lot better than I expected for a human."
"I'm full of surprises," Jade groaned as she shifted her limbs. It took barely a moment for her to discover she was bound too tight to break free, and with ropes enchanted specifically to react with the magic she was under to weaken her. "A well prepared cult, apparently. Any idea who?"
"I think it's called 'Makhalib Sayukhimat', whatever that means-"
"The Claws of Sekhmet," Sweetie Belle translated immediately. "Egyptian. From the sound of it, it's a cult that worships the Cat Goddess Sekhmet, a warrior goddess of healing."
"That's an odd combination," Aria observed dryly.
"It also explains what's going on," Hsi Wu groaned as he shifted where he was bound, his ropes glowing with holy power.
"Hsi!" Jade gasped out in relief. "You're alright!"
"As alright as can be expected, Mistress," Hsi muttered playfully.
"I'm not your Mistress!" Jade snapped out angrily.
"Technically, you are," Adagio pointed out. "Uncle is your familiar, after all-"
"I mean the other kind!" Jade snapped with a blush.
"You're not even 12," Aria pointed out flatly. "Why the heck do you even know about the other kind to be upset about it?"
"A really strange mishap adventure with the Book of Ages," Scootaloo offered teasingly.
"Okay, someday we need to sit down and hear the whole story from you lot," Adagio decided firmly. "It sounds fun!"
"What were ya sayin' about it makin' sense, Hsi?" Apple Bloom inquired, wanting answers.
"A few hundred years ago, Sekhmet lost her place on the Jade Council for...well, I don't want to go into details," Hsi explained. "Let's just say it was half political, half social, and half booze."
"I've been to a few parties like that," Adagio observed, her voice dripping with amusement.
"Anyway, there are a few ways former members of the Council can get their seats back, generally involving actions on the part of their followers," Hsi continued. "It sounds like this cult is dedicated to getting her back on the Council, and the transformations caused by the Cat of Khartoum is key to it somehow."
"Is that why they dressed me up in a skimpy white robe and strapped me down on my back to a stone altar in the middle of a runic circle covered in hieroglyphics?" Sonata called out from across the room, where the magic in the chamber was focused. "That's a relief. I thought it was for a weird Halloween themed orgy, and Adagio would hold a grudge for a century because they picked me and not her."
"Remind me not to ask about your stories when we do sit down to discuss," Jade spoke up nervously. "I get the feeling I'll never be old enough for them."
"They're going to sacrifice you, idiot!" Aria snapped at Sonata. "They're gonna stick a knife in your chest and carve out your organs and spill out all your fluids!"
"Oh." Sonata thought about that for a time. "Is it going to take long? I need to go to the bathroom!"
"So is that 'she's really that stupid', or 'you lot are immortal'?" Scootaloo asked curiously.
Adagio sighed ruefully. "Little of column A, little of column B, little of column C..."
"Is column C 'an ace up your sleeve'?" Hsi asked hopefully.
"Yeah, but one I hope I don't have to play," Adagio replied ruefully. "Well...to be honest I don't want to play either of them, but I will if I have to..."
"Guess we gotta hope Uncle Jackie and Aunt Viper save us," Apple Bloom declared firmly. "The whole structure's surrounded by a species specific barrier, and only somethin' part feline can get in."
"I got in," Hsi Wu pointed out.
"You got scratched too, even if you didn't change," Scootaloo countered.
At that moment, a door at the far end of the building burst open, illuminating Jackie and Viper as they braced themselves for battle. "Girls!" Jackie roared out.
"Jackie!" the three fillies and Jade called out.
"Me~ow!" Adagio purred at the sight of him.
"You might want to reign yourself in so his obvious mate is more interested in rescuing us than staking a claim," Hsi Wu countered flatly.
Numerous robed figures blocked Jackie and Viper's path. Viper braced herself. "You should move-" she began.
The robed figures discarded their robes as their bodies expanded, revealing an entire squadron of felinoid warriors as their fur finished growing and fangs protruded, fingers flexing to extend claws.
"...kitty litter," Viper growled, shifting to a defensive stance. "Werecats."
"Isn't that what we are?" Jackie asked in confusion.
"No," Viper corrected. "We've undergone a transmogrification into a felinoid form. Comes with some enhancements to physical abilities and stronger instincts. These guys are full fledged felithropes. We might be able to match a few of them each in combat for a time, but they'll hit a lot harder than us, a lot faster, and they'll take a lot more punishment before they stay down."
"...well that's not very fair," Jackie growled as he began to plan a different form of attack.
"And since when has a cat been interrrrested in fairrrrrness?" a female voice purred.
A female felinoid figure stepped into the circle of light surrounding the altar Sonata was strapped to. She stood taller than nearly everyone else present, slimly built and wearing an oddly configured crimson robe that seemed to reconfigure itself to her whim. A golden headdress with a lion symbol on the front sat upon her head, the two colors contrasting against her dark grey fur and pitch black mane. Her solid green eyes gleamed in the light.
"Mirage," Hsi Wu spoke up as he caught sight of her. "Leading a cult, are you? Quite a step down from the power you used to wield, isn't it?"
Mirage's eyes widened as she heard him speak. "You!" she hissed viciously. "And you would know why my power has been so reduced, wouldn't you? From an Incarnate down to a High Priestess...how delicious that I'll be able to make you pay for it now..."
"Old rival?" Jade asked Hsi Wu curiously.
"Not...exactly," Hsi Wu explained carefully.
"Ex fuck-buddy?" Adagio inquired.
Hsi Wu's human cheeks blushed as he looked away from Jade. "Something like that..."
"Is that all you thought of me?" Mirage snarled. "I turned from one who adored me to walk dark paths for you!"
"I never asked you to," Hsi Wu countered. "And to be perfectly frank, fangirls were boring me centuries before I met you."
Mirage let out an enraged howl. "You will regret your actions, demon! Those who have been changed by my creation shall now be the blood sacrifices needed to grant Sekhmet the power to reclaim her Jade Throne, and take a greater share of the power there! And when she does, my power as an Incarnate will be restored...and with the death of your Mistress-"
"Not his Mistress," Jade mumbled automatically.
"-you will be banished back to the netherworld!" Mirage concluded dramatically. "And there is nothing anyone here can do to stop me!"
Adagio sighed. "Well, might as well play the first ace now. I suggest anyone with a delicate stomach close their eyes."
Aria promptly squeezed her eyes shut tight, much to the girls' confusion.
"Oh?" Mirage demanded curiously. "You can do something?"
"Not me," Adagio corrected. "Her." She jerked her head towards Sonata.
"What can she do from the altar?" Mirage demanded cruelly. "It drains her magic even as it binds her!"
"Well, she was trained by someone more evil than you could ever hope to be," Adagio pointed out. "She learned so well that, to keep her herself, that teacher sealed most of what he'd taught her behind a mental partition...one he gave me the key to. Just two of his favorite words, and that partition comes down..."
"And just what words are those?" Mirage demanded coldly, plainly intending to call a bluff.
Adagio grinned, then shut her eyes. "PECKING ORDER!" she shouted to Sonata.
Mirage's eyes went wide. "Oh crap..."
On the altar, Sonata's pupils slowly shrank to pinpricks, the iris widening as the sclera turned black. A wide grin spread across her face, and she began to chuckle under breath...and then she vanished in black mist.
"What?" Mirage gasped out. "But...but the altar was draining the magic of her pendant!"
"Her teacher taught her how to feed another way..." Adagio murmured as darkness descended. "Now...she feeds on your fear..."
An eerily creepy high pitched voice began to sing. "Welcome to the shoooo~oowww..."
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pecking order? oh crap! not HIM?!
Hears the words PECKING ORDER.
"Internal thoughts" F#ck that sh$t I'm out.
Oh.....oh no........well the bad guys are screwed...
...... of course, it just had to be Mr. Popo... poor stupid buggers
Yup Mirage knows how screwed she is. Let's see why it had to be sealed away.
first rule of Sonata's training Mirage
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HIM!!! And we do not mean the guy with the lobster claws and fur trim.
(sees the end of the chapter) ...well Mirage, any last words?
😊 ah: that will do nicely
sad to say i don't know that quote
8620179
Wait, WHAT!?
Explanation please.
We need an interlude here. Just for Sonata's training to become....this Popo-jin.
Nothing sacred will remain. Not even the innocence of children.
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Yeah...not touching that.
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welp, Mirage is screwed....anyone care to take bets on how long shes gonna last? i got two rubies that its less than a minute...
8620209
trust me...u DONT wanna know... <shudders>
8620209
It comes from DBZ abridged. Mr. Popo has a pecking order. The Pecking order is as follows:
You, the dirt, the worms in the dirt, (censored), Kami, and popo. Look up the details at your own peril. (though I personally think it's more hilarious than anything else).
Keep in mind that the "you" is directed at the z-fighters of all people. Sans WISHES he could give you as much of a bad time as Mr Popo does just to TRAIN these people.
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Literally had to look up what you were talking about before I got the reference... but I don't fear the Mr. Popo, here was my reaction:
Holy sweet Jesus on roller skates on a tight rope hanging over Hell!
*watches Mr. Popo*
That explains why she is suddenly psycho...
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I'll take that bet. Half ton of gold says 0.000000001 seconds, AND she gets so mentally messed up she thinks up tastes like the number purple q.
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And here's the Pecking Order post Sonata's training.
"You, the dirt, the worms in the dirt, (censored), Kami, the blue girl, and Popo"
Kami: Why is the blue girl ahead of me?
Popo: Because you never joined in when I threw a...party.
Kami: I don't have sexual organs.
Popo: And?
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I'll take that bet. 2 turns if she goes first. First turn finish if Sonata gets the starting turn.
Surprised you didn't use Catrina from g1 as the priestess.
*does an epic spit-take without taking a drink, then chokes on air and dies*
...NOPE! *soul promptly gets up and floats out the door*
8620224 Be reasonable! ...Five seconds, tops.
...Well shit
8620262 That was my first thought. This is the next best thing, though.
Well (literal) shit.😱😱😱😱😱😱💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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I'll add a custom forged Fluttershy themed Captain America shield betting the fight will last 0.1x10^99999999999999999999999 nanoseconds
fuck
Jackie: That's a relief...
Viper: Jackie, that's not the right way to shield her from the truth of the World.
Hsi: Especially one that populated by numerous entities of every ratings imaginable.
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...I thought he was nice.
"Welcome to the shoooo~oowww...Please come inside" - Saliva
...At least, that's where my mind went.
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The abridged version is different from the one in the original. He's something of an eldritch horror.
Will Mirage and the other cat people go in the way of Garlic Jr.?
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Still terrifying.
First post this chapter and....this seems appropriate for how things are about to turn...
https://m.Oh good lord. Honestly, I only watched a few early episodes of DBZA, but given the Popo references, I guess I'm gonna have to watch the rest. Either way, I keep loving Sonata more and more. And how the transformations of practically everyone is causing a whole new storyline (well, guess it's not the only cause. Tats—'nuff said) is becoming so much more fun.
One more thing!
Red robe and black mane? Mirage is clearly a bad OC.
Chapter One Hundred Sixty-Five
"Bad Day"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 42
"He's Not My Boyfriend!"/"I'm not his Mistress!"
//
Chapter Count: 0/2
Total Count: 46/5
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DBZA gets much better in quality past about episode 5, and then just keeps skyrocketing in quality and enjoyability once it gets past episode 10.
So... how does Pecking Order cause... well, that? I get the reference, just not how it turned Sonata into Abridged Alucard's wet dream.
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Because it's the result of training by Abridged Mr. Popo.
8620363 half surprised that you also didn't count when she mentioned 'the other kind' to Adagio. Then again, that skirts technicality doesn't it?
Hold on tight folks, Sonata is going to leave us mistified.
So this is werecats go to these days, to worship a cult.
Man, to be able to smell all that and tell them apart Jade must have a magic nose or something.
Well, shit.
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Yeah, that was my take—skirts technicality too much. And the first isn't the 'bad' kind of mistress, so I'm only counting when she refers to the other kind.
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Were you even reading the chapter?
Well Sonata has this sorted, Viper is free to kick Adagios arse for sizing up her man.
FIRST RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING! YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT POPO'S TRAINING!
SECOND RULE OF POPO'S TRAINING-
Pecking order ... Well they are completely screwed.
Mirage... Wasn't she a villain from the Alladin tv series?
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Yes yes she was. Now excuse me as I make noises the dogs in the neighborhood whine in pain from how high pitched it will be.
The cat girl has a point. That IS odd.
*makes a high pitched squeal of delight that has the dogs howling*
MIRAGE IS IN THE CHAPTER AND OH MY GOD THE CONNECTION TO HSI WITH THOSE CREATURES THAT ONLY APPEARED AT SPECIFIC TIMES THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF! They looked so much like him. Excellent connection. *keeps squealing* Oh please oh please don't ruin it for me with spoilers if you bring in Circe from Hercules for later episodes.
*resumes normal voice*
Sonata going for a walk as it were? Now, this is getting even better. I can't wait to see how this ends up and how lord Chaos would take to his protege being consumed. Probably entertained.
To take a page from a certain AdventureQuest monster (#DukeofHa-Zard)
"And it was right about then that Mirage" (Nice Aladdin reference btw) "And her minions knew they was in a whole heap o' trouble."
Screw it, dropping the formalities. SONATA! ...Go for a walk~