Tempting Fate
Hsi Wu glanced around, examining every possible direction for threat as the group rode the 'bigger on the inside' covered wagon Uncle had chosen for this relaxing trip out to the ancient mansion with all its 'hidden treasures'. The path to the manor led through a dead wood on an old road that no one seemed to have used in decades, if not centuries. The only way across a raging river was an ancient wooden bridge that looked to be on its last legs. Clouds all but covered the moon, and lightning flashed. He could tell there would be a torrential downpour before very long.
He was not happy with the present situation. He couldn't sense anything particularly magical that could be a threat in the direction they were going...but three miles back Audrey III had removed himself from the wagon and refused to go any further, planting himself firmly in the dirt at the side of the road and digging in at least 100 feet with his roots. No matter how Apple Bloom coaxed or wheedled, he'd refused to move...and the only explanation he'd given was to sing, "Spooky Scary Skeletons" over and over again. Eventually, the group had moved on without him once he promised to wait for them there.
Tohru and Sofia sat in the front of the wagon, guiding the ox that was pulling it. Jackie and Viper lay against one side together, Uncle on the other side with a few books. Hsi Wu sat towards the back of the wagon with Jade and the fillies, constantly on the lookout for danger when he wasn't shooting a glare towards Uncle.
After a time, Uncle lifted his head. "What bothers you, demon boy?" he asked happily.
"'What could possibly go wrong'?" Hsi quoted at Uncle. "Seriously? You ask that when we're on our way to unknown ground when there's this much magic in our group? Do you want things to get crazy?"
"Yes," Uncle replied happily.
Everyone stared at him in shock. "...what?" Jackie finally managed to ask.
"Jade is newly awakened Chosen One," Uncle explained. "Hsi is Demon Sorcerer, power amplified by how high up we are. Girls have powerful magic of their own. You have Balance Breaker. Viper has magic tools. Tohru has powerful chi he has learned to channel. Sofia is a Priestess. I have my magic and books. Between all of us, there is very little we should not be able to handle easily if it happens."
"Are you trying to tempt fate?" Hsi Wu demanded in exasperation.
"Yes," Uncle replied firmly. "Either it will be something we don't know how to handle and we will learn from it and overcome, or it will be something we do know how to handle and deal with easily. Either way, fun adventure well within our abilities, without high stakes. One more thing! Will also let me negotiate steep discount with Mr. Lam if we have to fight monsters to get antiques!"
Hsi Wu stared at Uncle, completely flabbergasted. "And I thought Jade could be recklessly overconfident," he growled out irritably.
"Hey!" Jade snapped angrily, tackling Hsi to the bed of the wagon.
"It runs in the family!" Uncle called out teasingly as the fillies shared happy giggles.
"Hey!" Jackie complained.
"Oh relax," Viper offered warmly. "He's got a point...on all counts." She glanced out the front of the wagon, staring across the ancient bridge to the 'mansion' they were heading to. It stood at the top of a mountain, the path to it from the bridge winding around and around the peak, snaking back and forth until it reached the top. The mansion also more resembled an ancient Chinese castle than a rich man's retreat. "...though I'd feel better if this place looked less like a setting from a Horror movie..."
"I'd feel better if I'd actually brought Balance Breaker," Jackie grumbled under his breath.
"Look on the bright side," Kitten said from his shoulder. "That place is huge! If there is a monster in there, there are plenty of places for us to regroup to for safety."
"And plenty of places for more monsters," Tiger agreed as he cracked his knuckles. "This could be fun! No way we can keep track of every single room."
"...and plenty of places Hsi Wu and Jade could sneak off to unnoticed, especially since Hsi Wu can fly," Kitten groaned ruefully. "Especially without Audrey to track them."
"Why would Audrey stay behind, anyway?" Jackie asked curiously. "That doesn't seem like him."
"I don't know," Hsi growled out from under Jade, where she had him pinned with one arm twisted behind his back. "That's what worries me."
Jade glanced out at the area, pressing Hsi's face into the bed of the wagon as she did so. "Yeah, can't imagine why he'd want to miss this place!" she declared happily. "It looks like Chinese Transylvania! So cool!"
"You have seen too many movies, Jade," Jackie chided indulgently.
"If yer talkin' about movies from the old timeline," Apple Bloom began, "a lot o' those movie monsters probably do exist in this new one, and are real dangers."
"Do you really expect me to believe Audrey would be afraid to cross a vampire?" Jackie demanded playfully. "Pretty sure he's got both holly and garlic as part of his plant makeup."
"Some vampires feed on magic rather than blood, though," Sweetie Belle pointed out. "Remember what happened after the fusion to fight the fake-Cthulhu? If Audrey runs out of magic, he might revert to an ordinary plant...which in terms of his personality, is dying."
"Magic eating vampires, huh?" Jade asked thoughtfully, glancing at her shoulder significantly.
"Too many possibilities," Emeraude pointed out flatly. "Assuming there is one - or more - there, we'd need to know what kind to figure out how to prepare or deal with it. Besides, some of them are friendly, and there'd be no reason to antagonize them."
As they came to a halt at last at the entrance to the mansion, two men awaited them. One was an elderly man with Asian features, wearing all black with a black and gold cap on his bald crown. The other was a short man dressed in green and brown with a full head of hair and beard in brown, squatting somewhat under a load of antiques in his arms. The taller man stepped forward. "Greetings," he called out. "I am Mr. Lam. You are here for the antiques?"
"Hello, Mr. Lam," Uncle greeted warmly. "Before we settle on a final price, I wish to examine the antiques here before they are transported."
Mr. Lam frowned thoughtfully. "That will take some time," he pointed out. "And it is getting very late. There is much magic in this area, and it is not completely safe come the midnight hour if one is not properly prepared."
Uncle frowned briefly, but smoothed his features. "I believe we can look after ourselves."
"...very well," Mr. Lam allowed. "Feel free to stay the night. My associate and I will return in the morning to discuss the final price." Turning, he led the way off as his companion set down his load of antiques.
As Uncle and the group made their way into the mansion, Mr. Lam's companion turned to him. "...do you think we should have warned them about the squatters?" he asked in a whisper.
"No," Mr. Lam insisted firmly. "If we had, he would never have come to make an offer, and I'd never wash my hands of this place! Besides, Uncle is clever and talented. If anyone can deal with a pair of beasts like are sealed here, it is him and his group. Now let's get across the river before the storm worsens."
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. . . A tiny nostalgic part of me wants to believe that the squatters are, in fact, Shaggy and Scooby. Anywho, YAY STORY! Thanks for writing!
Bad... night?
And the readership...
...is incredibly confused. I thought you weren't reckless Uncle!
Not reckless then, just overconfident. Still not a very "Uncle" stance to take, Uncle. And explaining WHY that's not reckless is increasing the chance of everything going horribly wrong! The only reason *I* know it won't is... is...
Did Uncle somehow figure out that this is a fanfic?! It sounds ridiculous, but every time I find a reason WHY, it's immediately revoked by "Pinkie shouldn't know by that logic either", to the point I'd have to narrow down how she DOES do it, and we all know that way lies madness...
Guess Audrey III is quite rooted with fear of this particular mansion.
Appears our seller is on the Lam from the oncoming storm for that mansion.
Clearly these two folks doesn't want Uncle and friends to know squat about certain things.
See? Even the characters are lampshading it -
- saywhatnow?
...So it's not that he went temporarily Genre Blind at the end of last chapter... he's just deliberately tempting fate in order to get a steep discount since he knows they're basically OP.
...
IAMNOTWORTHY! *bows before Uncle*
Last chapter had pages and pages of comments from viewers shaking their metaphorical fingers at Uncle for recklessness
. And Tats' response
?
....
A whole chapter. With Uncle, fully in character and using sound logic, flipping off fate and nearly every commenter from last chapter.
Bravo, Tats. Bravo
.
Huh. He's actually got a point. And with all the firepower they have, there really isn't much in the way of threat.
hugelolcdn.com/i/82417.jpg
...wait, squatters? Plural?
Zoinks.
.... this chapter was well worth all the delays life gave you Tatsu,
so i got 3-1 odds on the 'canon' chi vampire, 2-1 on another Hellsing reference.
Uncle... did you take something else beside your daily medication this morning?
Is it weird that I want them to encounter Bunnicula?
8840698 If he did I'm thinking it was Likely Somewhat Diluted.
Oh if only you knew, Mr. Lam, if only you knew about Uncle and his whole "if we fight through monsters we can negotiate for a discount" attitude.
Considering Uncle and the Dog talisman, Jackie is the odd one out in the family being as responsible as he is. But way to play fate, Uncle. It's like Vegeta and the zentai boost on Namek. Test Fate. It will either give you a fun time for the family, or bonus XP!
A pair of beasts, huh? We might be looking at another crossover arc!
Tatsu is one of the few Authors where I actually look forward to the crossover lore from other series as part of the expanded world building!
UNIVERSE: "I know he doesn't, this is Uncle after all, but the chi-Vampire is already ordered."
UNIVERSE: "…what?"
UNIVERSE: "Upgrading to Nazi Chi-Vampire."
UNIVERSE: "Millennium Nazi Chi-Vampire."
UNIVERSE: "Adding inciting incident for a simple war."
UNIVERSE: "Upgrade simple war to sequel Millennium has been waiting for."
UNIVERSE: "ANDERSON!"
UNIVERSE: "Now you're getting the Police Girl…"
UNIVERSE: "…and the **** vampire who goes on very enthusiastic moonlit midnight walks."
UNIVERSE: "I hope you're ready to die, Uncle. For it's time for you to party, party, party. Have fun."
8840762
Universe: "ENOUGH! CONGRATULATIONS, UNCLE. YOU WON THE "SPECIAL TREATMENT"!
GUYS!!!"
i.imgur.com/PjP3UP2.gif
I can already see how this will end. After dealing with the squatters in one fashion or another, Uncle will ask for a discount on the artifacts. Mr. Lam will mention having already known of the squatters, and the initial price stands. Then one of the group will point out that, by failing to mention the squatters, Mr. Lam knowingly withheld vital information about this journey, ergo his reputation is in jeopardy. But, the group is a fair sort, so they'd be more than happy to sweep the incident under the rug and forget it... in exchange for a reduction in the price of the artifacts. A sizeable reduction.
8840830
I have a vision that one of those squatters might become a familiar with one of the group - or just maybe tag along back to San Francisco.
8840830
I have a gut feeling those two squatters are Alucard and Seras. Those two are more than likely there under orders from Sir Integra to investigate the vampire rumors surrounding the building. I wouldn’t be surprised if they showed up 6 months to 1 year ago, and have been thoroughly checking every single spec of dust in the place as a means to go on vacation.
As for the Chi-vampire… i’m Pretty sure they have no idea it’s actually there.
A... PAIR of beasts?
Oh dear... Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
Wait... pair? So not the single chi vampire it was in canon. Oh boy.
8840629
GROAN.
Eh if it's squatters Uncle can call in a favour from Terminus.
Why do I keep seeing this same fic on the featured list over and over again?
...Who is this person and what has he done with Uncle?
Honestly, the thing that worries me the most is how terrified Audrey is. If he's scared, you know something is gonna go down.
Chapter One Hundred Seventy-Eight
"Bad Day"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 43
"I'm not his Mistress!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 8
8840927 When a story gets featured, every time it updates it gets featured again in one of the three bottom slots. Besides, it's worthy enough to keep coming back to the box anyway.
8840927
I guess it's just THAT good.
8840694
Put me down for a hundred bits on it being the chi vampire with upgrades from the Nazi group Millennium, also another hundred bits on Alucard, Seras, and Anderson showing up with Alucard and Anderson going after Hsi Wu which leads to a three way fight.
Well, that's one way to plan for an exciting vacation, Uncle.
Shaggy and Scooby?
From the song Audrey III is mentioned to have sung, I get feeling we might be having a crossover cameo from a pair of beings who share their names with type fonts.
I beseech of thou Lord Tats, find some glorious way to incorporate this brilliance>>8840762( You obviously don't have to, this is but the musings of a humble( or am I?
) reader)
...Why did that bit from Shaman King where the Red and Blue oni are captured by Anna popped into my head?
Chapter One Hundred Seventy Eight
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 49
"One More Thing!"
\
Chapter Count: 1
Total Count: 85
8840805
Love that song.
I hope the Scooby Gang shows up. I can see Velma being a top researcher and Scooby being Shaggy’s familiar. Daphney having a curse that attracts danger with Fred being a mechanic/magical tech savant. These guys showing up would be kinda funny.
Also glad to see Hsi Wu having caught Uncle’s word choice and it has his gaurd way up.
8840607
Why them specifically?
8841267
Wouldn't it be more fitting if say the Goblin King was Shaggy's Familiar and Scooby still being his pet and best friend? With that kind of protection I'd say Mystery INC is safe from most monster threats cause many monsters with half a brain are afraid of the guy, heck just saying his name freaks them all out like every man for him self out. XD
8841135
8840762
would love to see that
8841300
It would kind of ruin the whole Scooby mythos. They only once encountered a real monster and they lost the proof. They bring to light fake monsters and hauntings. Besides we need to explain why Scooby can talk without going the drugs route. He could be a very special dog.
8841282
Because I have fond memories of Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School. Also because I like being occasionally silly!
8841139
Considering its a vampire plot...I'd like to think its Hsien-Ko and Mei-Ling,from Dark Stalkers.
8841325
Well technically they did encounter a few real monsters from time to time. I doubt anyone is gonna forget what happened on that Zombie Island, in that Salem like place with the Witch's Ghost. Nor is Shaggy and Scooby gonna forget the time they took down a monster witch while couching a monster girl class, the time Shaggy got turned into a werewolf and had to win a race to be turned back cause Dracula needed a replacement for his annual race or the time they all met the Boo Brothers and took down the 13 Ghosts from the chest and the evil Owl who tried to kill them all with a god of evil or whatever.
Well considering that many people actually ask did that dog just talk or just shrugged it off and not question it, I'd say talking animals might be uncommon but still somewhat known since if even KISS and the WWE don't bat an eye at a talking dog something must being up there.
8841328
True, great movie too, I'm surprised they haven't had a reunion yet. I would laugh if Voltra tried to kill them again only to wet herself once she learns they are under the Goblin King's protection, and tried to make amends in a comical way if only to not get punished by him, and judging by how many monsters reacted just from his name, I'd say he's not someone to screw with.
8841325
You need to research your Scooby....He has a large mess of cousins in the older series, and..ugh..we all know his abominable nephew scrappy.
They also have run into many real monsters over the years...
Zombie Island,The Ghoul School they taught at, Sarah Ravencroft,aka the Witches Ghost, The Virus(Cyberchase), actual aliens(Alien Invaders) , and finally...Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated had them fight a Dark God in the finale,who was their equivalent of BILL CYPHER MEETS CTHULU.....seriously,that season was dark but so awesome.
http://scoobydoo.wikia.com/wiki/Scoobypedia
Ps,if you havnt seen The Hex Girls,dear gods man,watch em....
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0QsWUa7lnbo
And this next one,I'm putting in video box form because anyone that likes crossovers...WILL LOVE THIS.
https://m.8841354
8841383
Zombie Island is the only one of the movies I have seen and the only time that I was aware of that the monsters where real. As for Scooby’s family I thought they were in the same category as Scrappy, non canon. The big problem is the negative continuity the series has so it simply becomes whatever you want. Then again if everything is canon that means the Addams Family is in this universe as is Batman.
8840607
...You know, the Scooby Gang have crossed over with Supernatural, palled around with KISS, and got saved from a Giant Boulder by John Cena. So meeting Our Heroes would be totally normal for them, ponies and all.
OH and one time they nearly got killed by werecats in a swamp. Good old Zombie Island, my very first 'scary movie.'
Clever old goat.
8841408
Far as I've seen ALOT is in the Scooby universe...
Batman...the far lighter version.
Blue Falcon and Dinomutt
Speed Buggy
Johnny Quest(which means Venture Brothers is half a century later...)
Then good grief how many guests appear in the series....KISS among that number...
Ah,and as above...Supernatural...Ps,if you look close that's literally connected to an episode from the old series....lol
Out of curiosity..which do you consider Canon? Because if you think about it...Mystery Incorporated "reset the universe by killing a dark god finale" was genius...before the reset the world was littered with supernatural mysteries...afterword the world is a lot less supernatural,but according to the letter sent to them well...its less common,but it's still there.the world still has mysteries to be solved.
Sidenote...the guy who sends them that message even notes 'this isn't the first time that the timeline has changed and it probally won't be the last" meaning every version of Scooby could be Canon,with some lining up in their own timelines.... @.@