Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Jade sat together in a tent in the bamboo forests of China. It was yet another archaeological expedition, this time to find the lost Lotus Temple. The only others along for the trip were Jackie and an old monk who'd volunteered as their guide. The four girls were having a bit of difficulty as just before the expedition, they'd goaded themselves into watching a scary movie about a monster in the woods that attacked campers. While Jade had long considered herself tough enough to handle mere movie monsters and thought her dealing with actual demons would make it even easier. She'd overlooked how much more realistic and terrifying movie monsters could be made with the normalization of magic, as the only limit to the shaping of the monsters was the imagination of the illusion mage on the special effects crew...and illusion magic came more easily to those with more active imaginations. This was why Audrey hung amongst the bamboo in an exceptionally large form, with instructions to eat anything that came too close to the camp unless it was a mortal animal (like a panda) or a person.
Which is why all four jumped up with a scream when Jackie pulled the tent flap back to look in on them.
"WAUGH!" Jackie cried as he leapt back, patting his chest to calm his fast heart. "What are you girls doing? I thought I said for someone to gather firewood."
"And go out into the bamboo grove alone where the slavering maw awaits to devour lost little girls?" Jade asked fearfully. "With its thousand tongues and gnashing teeth and countless hands and-"
"The only 'slavering maw' out there is Audrey," Jackie pointed out flatly. "And he's on our side."
"But what if there's another Audrey out there?" Scootaloo squeaked out worriedly.
"Then Apple Bloom will make it behave itself," Jackie chided calmly, rolling his eyes.
"What if it feeds on Dark Magic and eats good kids!" Apple Bloom asked in terror.
"Then sic Audrey on it," Jackie instructed tiredly. "There are no monsters out there."
"But there are tons of monsters out in the world!" Sweetie Belle squeaked out, holding up 'The Monster Book of Monsters', a complete tome of all magical creatures known to exist throughout the world.
"I checked before we came here," Jackie countered flatly. "The only creatures of a size or strength to even conceivably be considered threatening are pandas and Qi Lin."
"We're Qi Lin!" Sweetie squeaked out fearfully. "What if the locals are territorial?"
"I checked the rules," Jackie continued. "They won't hurt you, even if they do judge you as Qi Lin from another herd, since you're all children and virgins." He raised an eyebrow. "Or at least you'd better be."
All four girls' eyes widened before squinting shut as they let out a concerted, "EWWWW!"
Jackie managed a chuckle. "Anyway, even if you do come across a local Qi Lin, they'll simply lead you back to camp."
"But what if Valmont's released a Demon with control over plants to attack us?" Jade asked hurriedly.
"One, we know all eight Demon Sorcerers, and none of them are plants," Jackie pointed out. "Two, even if one was, they wouldn't dare enter a Qi Lin range. Three, go get the firewood."
Groaning, all four girls got up to move.
"It only takes one of you," Jackie pointed out.
"If you think we're going out into a potentially monster infested forest without proper backup, you're crazy!" Scootaloo declared intensely.
"But I just said-" Jackie groaned, rolling his eyes. "Fine. If you all encounter a dangerous monster and get eaten, feel free to tell me 'I told you so'."
Nodding firmly, the four girls marched out into the bamboo.
"Stay in sight of the camp!" Jackie called out before sitting on a log seat, turning to roast a hot dog over the fire. "Kids."
"Ancient wisdom," the old monk offered. "The young cats often bite off more than they can chew. The watchful alpha does not let them wander."
Jackie frowned thoughtfully, only to become distracted as a sudden pop of the bamboo in the campfire resulted in his hot dog becoming so much charcoal.
The four girls stayed very close together as they made their way through the bamboo grove, gathering up the fallen, dried stalks for use as firewood. "So...one of us still has a bead on the camp, right?" Jade asked nervously.
"I...I thought you still had an eye on it," Scootaloo whimpered.
"Apple Bloom, can Audrey guide us?" Sweetie squeaked nervously.
Apple Bloom glanced around as a cloud shifted aside, the full moon shining its light down. "I think-no!" The last word came out in a fearful gasp. "There's a surge o' magic here! I lost track of him!"
"Look!" Scootaloo screamed out, pointing to a large temple that had literally appeared before her eyes, fading in in place of the bamboo as the moonlight shone down.
"...is that the Lotus Temple?" Jade asked hopefully.
"Must be," Sweetie pointed out nervously. "There aren't any other temples in the area."
"But where did it come from?" Scootaloo demanded. "It...it just appeared in the moonlight!"
"That...actually makes sense," Apple Bloom offered thoughtfully. "Ah mean, ah hadn't given it much thought...but the Lotus is the symbol of He Xiangu, and she's the one that sealed Tso Lan. Maybe this is her temple, built ta respond to the phases of the moon to keep watch against a return o' his magic? We are here lookin' for magic ta use against the Demon Sorcerers, after all."
"In that case, what are we waiting for?" Jade offered eagerly. "Let's go!" She quickly raced for the stairs up to the Temple.
"Jade, wait!" Sweetie called out as she raced after her. "There might be dangerous magical booby traps! Let me go first so I can read them!"
And here comes the fun of the Lotus Temple.
I'm honestly surprised that 'Ancient Wisdom' didn't become a meme. Maybe being from a filler episode hurt it?
Guess the girls aren't moonlighting their firewood job.
I'd make a sex joke but I think this is the first time I'll say no.
At least Jackie said they wouldn't be punished in the name of the moon.
There's a Weird Al song Nature Trail to Hell
Wow. Even when they try to avoid these things, the girls wind up on adventures.
I wonder if they'll be covered in tree sap by the end of this...
8148433 I'm going to say that is a distinct possibility... err, strike that, probability.
8148433 I'm more surprised they haven't in chapter yet.
8148446
8148442
8148396 when they banished /kill Sindhu there was the scent of tree sap in the air
But yes no actual tree sap yet
Edit stupid text to speech i ment Shendu
Horror movies sound like something that are directed by Cthulhu now, and we all know horrible that is because he'll probably put Chrysalis and Deadpool in all of his movies. Also...
me
8148481
Who's Sindhu?
There are worse things they could find among the bamboo in rural China.
Like a certain valley of natural springs...
At least it's not a corn field...
To anyone who got that I'm sorry, my dad made a bet with me and I lost last October and the chapter left it open.
I am certain the local would avoid the nortorious CMCs at all cost.
Uncle: Jackie! That is not the way to talk to your own niece!
I need to watch this episode again, I seem to remember that the monk isn't all that trust worthy
Okay, now I have to got to look up a Qi Lin just to understand what the reference means... (Rubs hands eagerly in excitement. Time to do RESEARCH!)
8148612
"No more palm blasting!" - Jackie Chan
Well, I hope to see an actual qillin now.
Isn't this the the temple that had the girl cursed to turn into a monster to defend it...the one they let go see her parents after ...what...60 years?...yeah,that was super irresponsible of Jackie to not catch that part.
8148515 With all the changes that would fit perfectly in this world. See now I want that crossover with Jackie somehow getting thrown into pretty much every spring at one point or another in the fight (thinking it would turn out like the fight in The Emperor's new Groove)
Oh, do I remember this episode
8148898 Let us see how Tatsu makes the episode better.
8148503 stupid text to speech i ment Shendu
8148433
8148442
it' a certainty,... just like the earth's sky is blue and that Pinkie Pie still resents Discord for the chocolate rain without rarity sweets...
8148515 NO! BAD MOTH! We've suppressed all memoirs of that hellhole of a forsaken place for a reason...!
8148556 Uncle: One More Thing! You Fool For Letting Young Girls Go Explore Alone In Mission!
8149072
How are you using text to speech to type?
8149372 if you're on a computer open the Google search page and use that but how I did it is I'm on my phone reading this and I use my phone's text to speech thing to help me get things to be spelled right. won't help with grammar or wrong word spelled right
(I am horrible at spelling things so Google's search engine page is my friend while I write papers for school)
8148427 Lol, the very first thing I thought of when I read the chapter title was the "In the name of the moon" thing.
8149439
Don't you mean speech to text dictation?
8148898
Five years, not 60.
Chapter One Hundred Twelve
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 46
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 80
8148898 According to the JCA wiki (dash of salt), it's actually only been five years.
8149587
Rewatched the episode to write this segment. Xu Lin specifically says five years.
8149499 yes i do the google one can do text to speech and speech to text so i tend to use the use the phrase "text to speech" in ether location
Ha, not often he manages to get one over on them, well done!
Jackie really should have listened to the monk....
8151318
That's insane! That's evil! You monster! I love it!
8148907
please make this happen at some point
I could reference the DeadPool joke "Hehe... You said 'trap'!" But isn't trap, too, a sexual word?
Wait did she stroke the spine before opening?