Fine Crime has been chosen by Celestia personally to undertake a job he has never wanted. Yet obvious curses can be hidden blessings, for Fine realizes his job is more than just to serve Celestia. He must find a way... to end her.
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I actually think it works good here. The suddenly fast pacing in time with these short pieces makes it feel as reader that we are running out of time. As if we ourselves are in the race now. Whether intended or not good work sir.
If this keeps up, Gulfstream will be a ball of nerves by the end of the competition. It wasn't directly stated, but the way you write makes it seem as if he's about ready to roll off his seat in a furry lump of anxiousness.