Fine Crime has been chosen by Celestia personally to undertake a job he has never wanted. Yet obvious curses can be hidden blessings, for Fine realizes his job is more than just to serve Celestia. He must find a way... to end her.
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Have to agree with Cyber Samurai here. We want more from you. But that's because you really now how to build up tension. I seriously wonder if it's even possible for the 3 book of this story to surpass this one. Right about now Vinyl background story really outshines that of fine crime. Keep on the good work.
This is an interesting way to rope Vinyl into this. The writing is good, as always. Onward!
So the first thought that popped into my head when I heard the word "rebels" was 'wait, what!? Rebels!? And they haven't all been horribly immolated by Princess?!'
But after seeing them in action ... yeah. Going up to the royal guard and expounding about Princess's evil would be like Isis going to a U.S. Military base and expounding abou how America is the 'Great Satan.'
I don't know what they expected to accomplish.
6443189
I think you'd probably have more success in attracting people for the long haul if you removed the completely gratuitous and utterly sadistic rape scene and had Celestia just plain old banish them to Tartarus instead. There are plenty of creative punishments she could use to make them suffer without making the author look like a sadist and worse as well.
6443298
But none of those punishments would have been as indicative of the evil that is Celestia. I'm not going to sugarcoat the realities of evil just because I don't want to offend the squeamish. If the reader can't distinguish between an author and the characters created by the author, that's not the author's fault, nor is it the author's responsibility to tone down the characters to make himself look better due to this discrepancy.
As I said, I knew from the beginning that Celestia's actions would alienate readers, especially those who hadn't already read Trixie vs. Equestria and Twilight's Inferno. I made a conscious decision to take that hit. Now that I look back, however, I can't help but wonder if I shouldn't have saved Fine's book for later in the story, since his is easily one of the harshest to get through. It felt appropriate to place him first since his story is what begins the entire journey, but that may have been a mistake on my part.
6443488
A villain doesn't have to commit multiple gratuitous acts of rape in the first chapter to remind us that they are an absolute bastard. The... semi-pornographic way it was written does not help.
But whatever. This is just too sadistic for me, and I'm the guy who started a story with the utter annihilation of all life in Equestria for petty reasons.
6444159
Fair enough. As I said, I knew Celestia's sadistic nature would turn a lot of people off from the get-go.
6444191 It was a bigger reason to read further. The sadism not the semi-pornographic beginning.
FUS RO DAH!