- Member Since 16th May, 2013
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PaulAsaran
Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every other Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"
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Book 1 chapter 1: the beginning of the edge.
Sorry, had to do it, the series is dark after all.
Oooh yes!!! Been waiting for this one! And i would read it just from that description alone! Sorry i have been off the map for so long, Paul. Almost done settling into a new job, then i can get all caught up again.
So he's a rapist?
6063401
Ah, welcome back. I hope you enjoy this one as much as you did the sequels.
6063429
Hmm. This is actually more than 'edgy clopfic' , and you portray Evilestia quite nicely and actually scary, not 'cupcakes' scary. And Archon is going to break slowly and start to enjoy rape, am I right?
Hope you'll update soon.
6063447
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
First chapter was designed to sweep the rug out from under the readers and make it clear that this isn't your daughter's Equestria. All will be explained in due time. I'm thinking the fifth chapter will be the one that illuminates the situation.
Christ, you just had to jump to the precursor to one of the worst and most sickening parts of Inferno, huh?
No offense, but I think it'll be tough to get through this fic.
I can definitely see how this is gonna be a rough beginning for the uninitiated. (And it's still no picnic for those who have read TvE, either)
6063493
It may not be as hard as you think. I'm starting off on the harsh things, but much of the story will be... 'tamer' than this opening. Even so, I fully expect people with determined views of Evilestia to instantly downvote without waiting for the explanation that comes later.
6063501
Honestly, if I had found this with no prior knowledge of your other fics, I would be hard-pressed to even pick it up. Luckily, I know you can make great stories out of concepts I would normally disregard.
I'm guessing those dislikes are because of the topic of the story, not the quality? I know I've seen that before, which is why I don't have any of my own stories posted.
Like, I'm a decent writer, it's just that dislike douches are everywhere and the lot of folks just look at the Like/Dislike ratio.
You'd never catch me disliking a story, unless it was really, really bad.
6063608
I never downvote a story. Period, I just don't do it. I write reviews, which is probably painful enough.
6063628 I envy the ability to write reviews. It takes a lot of guts of which I don't have.
6063635
To be honest, I do dread the day when I write an overwhelmingly negative review (and there have been many) only to have the author start harassing and flaming me everywhere I go on the site. But I want to contribute somehow, and that's my method. Other than writing stories, that is.
6063666 Ugh, my biggest fear is permanent haters. Good thing when you come around to review one of my abominations, I'd take anything you send at me as constructive criticism and laugh at my own stupidity.
So I'll be getting to this soon. Maybe as soon as tonight, but I just have to say, probably not a good idea to blatantly state "Celestia is evil" in the story description. Bit of a stigma that comes with that.
6063859
When you read the first chapter, you'll see that it doesn't matter a can of beans whether it's in the description or not. Anyone who automatically downvotes Evilestia stories by the virtue of their existence will be downvoting this story in the first chapter, and I knew that from the start. This story was always doomed to have a poor start.
Well shit.
That just happened.
And I'm gripping the seat for more. :V
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Huh. So that's how that happened. I gotta say that I liked the idea of Cadence and Shining going mad with lust on their own a lot moreso than Celestia breaking their minds. Because it implied that even the best ponies couldn't hold onto hope in Hell. That being said, I really enjoyed seeing firsthand the circumstances leading to Cadence's banishment.
And I really enjoyed seeing more Evilestia. We never got much of her in the previous TvE stories. And
is one of the top 10 lines that you've ever written. Although there should be a colon after fetishes.
Lookin forward to more!
Pretty brutal, but not unexpected. I wanna say that shoulder scar of Hoofknife's came from the events of Reddux the Tyrant? I faintly recall that you said that story shared continuity with most of your verses.
6089846
The TvE universe breaks off from the other universes at the time that Celestia and Luna defeated Discord, which is way way way before the events of Reddux the Tyrant. This is the Trixie vs. Equestria universe, and Reddux the Tyrant is not related to it.
6089866
Well, goes to show the fallibility of the human memory.
And, on brief thought, it wouldn't make any sense anyway so I guess I'll just leave that comment there for the world to witness my eternal shame.
Thanks for clearing it up.
6089878
It's okay. I'm the writer, so I kinda have all this stuff straight in my head. I get that most people would have difficulty and get their AUs crossed.
The TvE is one of my favorite stories, considering this as prequel I'm intrigued to know the history of Fine Crime.
6095971
Good to hear! But it won't be just Fine Crime; every member of the Order will get his or her own section in this book. Lots to cover, and it won't all beg loom and misery... though it might seem like it now.
6096152
Btw are you going to include Bon Bon? Or as we now know Sweety Drops. The 100th episode "Slice of Life." revealed that in cannon verse she's a former secret agent. The order of shadows kinda begs for her to be included in it.
6096235
If she is to be included, I haven't planned for it yet. I don't care if she's a secret agent in the show, this is an alternate universe already far removed from anything the show has to offer. That doesn't mean I can't make a nod in its direction, though, and to be fair I haven't fully fleshed out the stories of the other members, so the possibility of a cameo is real.
6096257
Understood, I was just wondering. Even though it's a different universe it still has similarities with the original one.
I knew what was going to happen the moment I read the chapter title. So now we can start getting some things done. Also, it amuses me that Fine Crime detests Celestia in every universe he's in.
6096698
He doesn't detest her in every universe. On the contrary, in No Heroes it's more like he considers her... overhyped.
Out of every story I've read with an "evil Celestia", this is by far the best and most dastardly. Keep it up!
I need to go hug a puppy now, lol. xD
I knew this was coming. I wonder if your going to write this story all the way till Fine Crime meets his end. I would love to read his inner thoughts during the entire Trixe V.S. Equestria event. There are 3 scenes I really would be curious to know what he was thinking.
>>
Do my best!
6114498
Might wanna keep that puppy on hand for the rest of the story. Just saying.
6114716
Check the diary entry of Chapter 1. Foreshadowing much.
I'm guessing you're thinking of... A) Of Amethyst and Twilight, B) right after the second fight with Nightmare Moon, and C) his fight with Trixie.
6114842
Actually I'm more curious in the events when he begins to see Trixie as possibility to safe Equestria. Especially the scenes where he gives her the note of the guard schedule and reveals his crime to Amethyst to her and I always wondered when he saw the dead body of Princess Twilight what went through his mind.
Dang, it was awful even just reading about poor innocent Sunset Shimmer. Then everything that came after that was just worse. I hope you've got your own happy thing to pick you up after writing these; it's hard enough to read them. (Not to disrespect the story, of course)
6115038
Truth be told – and knowing my soul is consigned to Hell for this – I need no extra happy stuff to make this easier. The story itself makes me happy, because the story is finally being told. The events may be horrid, but the fact that the truth is coming out pleases me.
I've been waiting a long time to tell this story.
Sorry for the delay I posting this comment. I got so bored halfway through that I had to stop.
It's nice in a way, not being apart of the artistic process. I just get to enjoy the chapters as they come.
I always thought that Amerhyst’s hatred towards Celestia and the archons was more personal. So the fact that this all happened when she was but a foal surprises me.
But I am looking forward to seeing what Fine Crime’s “other” duties will be.
6115175
Better to get it out there, I agree. And I can definitely appreciate it on a craftsmanship level. The /content/ on the other hand, can take some time to settle in.
6115495
Oh, it's still personal, and a later character's background will prove it. I did have an intense internal debate about how old she would be, but decided that certain future events would benefit from this approach.
We've got one more major character's history to reveal in this 'book,' then it's all Fine Crime for another three chapters.
I presume the BE is supposed to be placed there? I'm not sure how that slipped through, I must be slacking too much...
Either way, the chapter is amazingly done, no outstanding problems that I can see save for error posted above. Now to wait till Chapter 4 is written.
6115956
What the heck makes you think that's an error? There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. When Sunset gets to the day she faces Celestia's test, it would probably be the worst day of her life.
6115956
Also, chapter 4's already on GDocs. Did you miss the announcement five/six days ago on Skype?
The be is missin in the actual paragraph. I guess I didn't make that clear enough, sorry about that
6117190
Ooooooooooh. Okay then. Shall fix.
Love reading backstories of minor characters. I've seen Star's past and now, I'm hoping to see what happens to her after the events of TvE.
Oh man. This is definitely a good one. Kinda suspected Pinkie might be in here, what with having read No Heroes. This definitely fits the bill for having similar aspects but twisting it to fit in this universe. Nice.
I had forgotten about Pinkie's Bloodmane in No Heroes, so it actually was a surprise to see her as Fine's assignment. I like the way you differentiated with this iteration, and Fine's interactions with Pinkie were heartbreaking.
I'm interested in what comes with Surprise, how that develops.
Okay so first off, Fine Crime knows the officer's name and life story before he even meets them, then says “I like to know who I'm working for” but doesn't know the names of the two mares who escorted him into the secret prison!
And seeing as how Pinkie Pie is a bloodmane in this universe, I'd be willing to bet that either Celestia herself caused this strange condition to fall over Equestria earlier in her reign, or at the very least made it worse. It would fit with her trying to consolidate her power.
And I figured that Pinkie would either be transmogrified into Surprise or her clone would be, but if I had to guess, I'd theorize that some of Celestia's Magic bled into the pool and caused the clone’s imperfect transformation. I mean Celestia has a white coat, purple eyes, and wings, so it's a plausible hypothesis that her magic combining with the Mirror Pool’s could have given the bloodmane clone some of Celestia’s physicalities.