3 Do. Not. Blink!
"I thought that only princesses had to do this book thing." Jason said, attempting to balance a stack of 3 books on his nose. "And wasn't it the head they balanced the books on?"
"Yes!" Luna said to Jason. "It's just funnier to see you do it this way!" She said, happy as can be. Jason sighed as Tia levitated another book onto the stack with her horn. He wobbled a bit to compensate. A smug look from Jason caused Tia to levitate 3 more books to add to the four present. This was more than he could bare. As he attempted to accommodate the new weight, he lost his footing and stumbled. All the books were now on the floor. Tia and Luna began to laugh hysterically.
"Oh, shut up you!" Jason said to his sisters in a not-so-mad way. he then succumbed to the "good vibes" and cracked a smile. These "good vibes" were also the only reason "Harmony" hadn't gone ballistic about his "name", or the scenario in general. Currently, Tia and Luna were teaching Jason "the ropes" of how his life in Equestria would work. 76% of these lessons were going to be pranks. Earlier, he had chosen to give this a chance, but was still iffy on the whole thing. "So, what's next?" Jason asked, to no one in particular. They were currently in the children's room at a place called "Canterlot Castle."
"I was thinking..." Tia began.
"MAGIC! You gotta learn magic!" Luna said, bouncing in her "seat."
"He can't use magic," Tia told her sister. Luna was about to say: "but whyyyyyyy?" When Tia interjected. "I don't know why. He just can't." Jason felt as though they knew each other really well. They looked like sisters. Like they were in sync and were good friends with each other. This concerned him a bit,
'How do you 'click' into a clique, when it's bound so tightly they read each other's thoughts?" He mused silently to himself. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Tia cracked a grin. This wasn't a cute one, this was an evil grin. Tia whispered something in Luna's ear. Luna's face copied her elder sister. Jason took a step backward.
"Tia? Lulu? Care to- let me in on the joke?" He said nervously, slowly backing away from the "evil" alicorns. Tia's horn began to glow. The door to the outside hall slammed shut and clicked locked. "Hey? What's up?" Jason began to feel sweat pouring down his face when Tia's horn continued to glow long after the door locked. Tia looked over in the corner of the room, and a box was surrounded in Tia's golden magic glow. The box floated over to Tia. The two flipped the box open so that the lid was blocking Jason's view of it's contents. The grins on the two fillies became chilling, and that's hard to say about the weaponized cuteness. Jason looked around the room for a blunt instrument he could wave in the faces of them. He looked back and the box was closed, and Tia had taken a pace forward and frozen in place.
"Do, not, blink."
Jason turned around and began to jiggle the knob of the door frantically. He turned around again, and Tia had advanced even closer, again stuck in place.
"Don't even blink."
Jason again turned to the door and banged harder. He could hear Tia's hoof stamps, drag across the wood floor. He turned his head to see her again, she had advanced impossible closer.
"Blink, and you're dead."
Jason gave one final pleading shove at the door and it finally gave way. He stood up and raced down the long palace hallway. He didn't have to look behind him to know Tia was in hot pursuit.
"They are fast, faster than you could believe."
Jason continued to run, even past the guards who took one look at the young princess and knew what was happening. Jason chanced a glance over his shoulder to see the hopelessness of his situation. No matter how fast he ran, the statue demon that looked like his sister, continued to keep pace, and even get closer.
"Don't turn your back,"
Jason took a left turn.
"Don't look away,"
A right turn.
"And don't blink!"
Jason was left panting as he reached the dead end, for his escape and him. He heard Tia coming. Jason frantically looking for safety. He turned around just in time to see Tia freeze in place at the end of the hall.
"Good luck."
Jason continued to stare at Tia, he felt that if he took his eyes off her, even for a second, it would spell death (mostly because he could only think of the statue things from doctor who [that Amy never shut up about] and the similarities to the situation). Then, he remembered something.
"Where's Lulu?" He asked. His question was answered when he was tackled by the little alicorn herself.
"Tag!" She cried adorably.
"Wait, what?" Jason sputtered. "You mean, you chased me through the castle, and scared me half to death, to play a game of tag? That's almost evil," Jason said. Then the evil grin came back. Tia walked over, with the grin and the box. The box clicked open, and Jason saw what's inside. "That's not just evil, that's demonically evil!" They brought the box over to him. He gulped. This was going to be bad.
Celaria walked down a hallway. One of the guards noticed her face.
"Ma'am, is everything alright?" He asked.
"No, I can't find my children," Queen Celaria said to the guard nervously. The guard grimaced.
"They were playing... that game again..." The guard grimaced, recollecting when he got the "chance" to play. Celaria didn't take the hint.
"Oh, good. And my son was with them?" She asked, sounding relieved, she wouldn't be if she knew the horror of "the statue game."
"Yes..." the guard pointed a hoof down the hall. Celaria walked down the hall. The guard sighed when she was out of earshot. "I really hope someone told him the rules."
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The entire rime I read this I was increasingly confused and ended up just getting lost in the area that centered around the summary implying that he was somehow angry at the fact that he was kidnapped. I can see that this is well written with only a few spelling errors here and there but damn dude, this could have been better. I mean, the whole time i was reading this I just kept expecting a shitstorm like midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/tom-haverford-gif.gif
So is he mad about being kidnapped or not? Is there a plot to this story, or will it just be shorts like this? Maybe something like a escape plan or similar of that sort.
Oh god.
5521726
Yeah... I should have addressed that a bit more... I'll get to that.
5525877 Thanks.
So weeping angels are now grinning adorable fillies? I am okay with this.
5571619 well with that logic its also not fair
stayclassy
They Fucking almost Scared him To death As a JOKE What a Twisted sense of humor
So much hate for one little chapter... i would love to help you out man... it looks like an interesting idea... but you're killing it
Balistic, and Bolding isn't neccessary there, i guess you could argue it's to show stress on the word but i recommend against it.
NOPE NOPE NOPE! DO NOT START WITH %!!!!
WTF is this? Is this story past present or some 4th tense i don't know about. The fact of the matter is, we dont know what luna will be saying so this sentence makes no sense. Since i really can't describe how much is wrong with this i'll rewrite it.
"He can't use magic," Tia told her sister. Luna looked as she was about to voice argument, but Tia cut her off. "Bla bla bla"
There, use that, please.
This entire set of quotes makes NO SENSE! Who is saying what, why the hell are they saying it? The events leading up to the statue game are shoddy and while the game itself is actually interesting i cannot bring myself to find interest in it because i'm as confused as the protagonist is.
Next to that i find myself agreeing with the rest of these people who say 'where are you going with this?' You've set up a story yet refuse to act upon your main plotline.
Please, i'm willing to help, but i have to stop here. If you want to talk about it just message me or reply to my comments, i hate to see decent ideas get executed poorly, and i know you have at least some talent.
7270775 I lasted 16 seconds