Wherever I go, the chaos follows me. There’s nowhere I can go where it can't find me.
Call me crazy, but I think I like that. I know I do.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 3rd May, 2014
- offline last seen May 9th, 2019
Derpator
Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground.
Derpator
Joined 3rd May, 2014 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Deadcat · 36k words · 78 4 · 2.3k views
- gogo gonzo · 2.5k words · 24 3 · 1.3k views
- Damocles23 · 2.1k words · 24 4 · 1.2k views
- The Rarispy · 13k words · 49 7 · 1.1k views
Featured In12
Shipping 💖11,670 stories ·9,742 members
The Fillyfoolers3,947 stories ·3,488 members
The Writers' Group56,406 stories ·9,292 members
Rainbow Dash7,253 stories ·4,144 members
One-Shots18,913 stories ·2,369 members
- Pinkiedash121 stories ·348 members
RainbowPie362 stories ·862 members
- F/F ships2,904 stories ·1,412 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.08 seconds
Total duration
1,073 users online
18,194 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...Dude; that's creepy.
Pinkie Pie the stalker
That was messed up. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Great job, I love it! I bet all PinkieDash shippers will read this!
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5092543
How about the spastic stalker? harsh? Sorry can't find the word for it. So people still ship this? Well i got nothing on that blame season two for my distaste for the ship but whatever anything by derpator is good.
5093191
The minimum for one-shots is 2,500 words I believe. I would, but this falls short on that front. I could probably extend it with thorough edits, but I like how it is right now. Maybe in the future if I can.
To all the readers, I'm glad you enjoyed this. This fic didn't bring in the views I was hoping for, but you can't win them all. I applaud you if you figured out what's really going on in this story. This story is not Dark at all if/when you do. If anything, it's the complete opposite. This is a fic that you're supposed to think about to decipher what's going on. If you already managed that, then I commend you. Whether I made it obvious or not is up to readers individually.
If not, or if you're completely confused, then I can give you hints: Italics, Author's Notes and the question: What is chaos? If you just read it and understood it for what it is, then that's fine, but this story isn't exactly... what's on the tin, let's say.
I actually really like this. It is nice to see somebody writing in a very different way about a subject that otherwise could be written as being very mundane. This just shows how even things that can be very simple can be made more fun with an author that wants to change things up a bit.
Argh! I'm bewildered. What could possibly not be dark about this? What do you mean by "chaos"? At one point in the fic, Dash literally says that "entropy trailed behind" her; does "her little chaos" reduce all structured life around her to single cells or something? I wish I understood. . . . And why the heck is time looping?!
I think you forgot to close your italics tag here; the next several paragraphs are italicized.
5097176
Aha, there we go. Alrighty, here's the thing. Also, the italics are very intentional and are in the right places, as I shall explain shortly. Spoilers, obviously, and quite long.
First, you have to look at the fic in two different ways: The normal text and the italics. When you read the italic text, Rainbow Dash seems to come across as more sinister, or evil. The chaos follows her, and with what happened to Twilight and other ponies, she seemed to enjoy it, while the rest of the narrative in regular text is saying how she somewhat fears it, and that she has to flee all the time, claiming that it would forever follow her. So what's going on?
In essence, there are two narratives going on in one story. They're happening at the same time, but are placed at opposite ends of the spectrum. The normal text is one end, while the italics tells the other. Which one is technically 'correct' then? That's where the Author's Notes comes into it. Basically, it goes about the idea of a person's subconscious, and that we have thousands of thoughts constantly happening, but we never know of them. When you first meet someone, your subconscious will have thoughts of that person and judge them that you're completely unaware of.
The regular text is all in Dash's subconscious. In reality, she isn't aware of any of it. The italics though, she is, fully. The italics is what's really happening, though, in accordance with the story, is happening at the same time as the regular text. The italics is just what Dash is really thinking along the ride, while the rest isn't. It still happens, but she's unaware of it.
So how does this link in with the chaos idea? The obvious thing is that the chaos is Pinkie. I reckon everyone could probably figure that out. But it all starts with a whisper in Dash's ear, then she's off on the run with Pinkie following her. So, what's exactly happening?
Well (and this is where the fic loses the Dark tag), Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are going around Ponyville and playing a kind of hide-and-seek. Only in this version, they make the ponies around the town jump in shock. In the fic, Dash says that a few ponies asked what she was up to, and she denies everything. In reality, right after then, Pinkie would appear out of nowhere and make that pony jump out of their skin, and then the pair would be off again. This is where the idea of chaos comes in. Pinkie, for all intents and purpose, is pure chaos. Disorder, entropy, we've seen her crazy powers in the show. She can appear from the most random of places, break physics, and, because of this, break order. In essence, she's chaos, and by using those crazy powers to surprise citizens, she's essentially spreading that chaos around for her and Dash's amusement. That's what it meant by devouring them; it's simply Pinkie and Dash going around and scaring ponies for their own little game.
And later on, Twilight is a victim too. Pinkie emerged from behind a lot of books, and there's no doubt right then and there that Twilight shrieks from not only Pinkie, but the destruction of literature. After that though, they've gone and scared pretty much everyone and Dash wants to continue, so she goes to the barn. Hides, but Pinkie finds her and glomps her tail, and Dash refused to lose. She looked back at her in a way that would say, "haha, you can't get me," but ended up clipping her feather and injuring herself. Still, she perservered and made it to one last location: the hill. There, she finally gave up, and Pinkie came behind her and essentially began to hug and kiss her. Seriously, this is actually fluffly. And what with the time loop, it suggests that the pair do this every day. Basically, they're awesome marefriends to one another. And with the 'Ends of Equestria' idea, it's that Dash has been thinking of taking a holiday with Pinkie somewhere. I just played it along with the whole chase-thing. I'm rather sneaky.
Pretty long, but that's what the fic is meant to be. Like in my previous comment, yeah, this is a fic that's not supposed to be easily seen. Hopefully this cleared things up.
5097336
I should've known better to expect an actually dark dark story from you.
still, good stuff. I like the differing between italics and plain text.
5164207
And here's a bit of trivia: This story was a pain to write. And I think dealing with that pain showed in the quality of the end result. I liked the concept, I liked the very idea, and I liked the twist and the idea of the reader figuring the truth out.
However (and this is big), when it came to writing the story, as in, the events that unfolded, it became a pest just attempting to write a couple of sentences. Switching back between the two voices was no trouble, but actually writing the events was a pain. And I think it shows. This story could have been 500 words or so longer, and it could have been spruced up, but by the end, I was just so annoyed that I wanted it released. It's certainly a nice twist from the normal regarding this pair and what we've seen in the show, along with the whole inner thoughts idea, and I'd certainly like to see it done by someone much better than me, but I think I delivered 2/3 of a good premise here.
Might have been the first person. Might have been something else. Haven't figured it out yet.
5164390
Dude, don't put yourself down. The story was good, and you're an excellent writer.
Maybe in the future take a step back from the story when you're sick of it and think about where you want it to go, that's what I do.
Sorry if I came off as condescending, I enjoyed the story a lot.
It was a intresting twist on the chase thing. she's always chasing dash even in my fanfic she did for a while but stopped and this bugged dash which caused her to get jealous. i hate to say it, but pinkiedash was my first and your first will always be special to you.