Shouldn’t have said she’d gotten bigger. Now she’s become obsessed with losing weight she’s convinced she’s gained. Good going Pinkie. Yeah you just sit and watch her burn those calories. Maybe Rainbow Dash could assist too.
Check out this awesome reading!
Note: Currently, this story is planned to be rewritten someday. I'll be frank: This is pretty bad as it stands now, and I cringe when looking back on what I wrote, which is a good thing in terms of improvement, I guess. The reading, which was extremely generous of the the kind soul who took the time and effort to read this, is available, and if there's something to take away from this story, it's that and not the story itself. Don't read this unless you don't mind bad writing.
Chapters (1)
You'd think she'd have more endurance with her new Earth Pony Magic™
Lol this was awesome I live it great job
4374234
Kind of Ironic to see an Avatar of Rainbow Dash eating a giant cookie after reading this
4474198 lol I suppose
Ah, one of those, "If you're my friends, who needs enemies" stories.
Time for a jog.
I would DEFINITELY consider putting a comedy tag on this. DWL(^o^)
No...Just.... No.
Yeah, the writing could definitely be improved. :/ Good job with the characters, though, they all sounded spot-on.
5292241
I definitely would, but I'm not sure if I should because of that Youtube reading. It's a bit cringe-worthy going back over this, as I know what I could do to improve it. It's one of those pieces you look back on and know exactly what you can do to 'fix' it. And I would.
But that reading... Any ideas?
Still though, thanks for reading.
5292269
Well, if you feel you need to fix it and know what to do, don't let the reading hold you back. Make a note in the description that it's a reading of old version or something. I've honestly not really considered that before, though I've made minor changes to stories of mine after they got readings, so it's probably okay. :B