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  • E Finding Your Place

    Spike is no longer the chubby baby dragon he was, and he no longer has to go through his hundred-year wyrm sleep. But as he and Twilight move back to Canterlot, Spike finds that his new larger body means the end of his old life.
    84,727 words · 3,156 views  ·  343  ·  15
  • T Eye of the Beholder

    Agents Bentgrass and Lulamoon race to find a killer.
    15,983 words · 1,077 views  ·  117  ·  9
  • E Princess Twilight Takes A Walk

    Princess Twilight Sparkle goes for a long walk. The longest she'll ever take.
    4,227 words · 926 views  ·  123  ·  10
  • T Under A Luminous Skyfall

    Captain Fleethoof confesses his true love, but will another stallion have beaten him to it?
    1,813 words · 324 views  ·  28  ·  4

Blog Posts132

  • Tuesday
    #shipping

    48 comments · 421 views
  • 1w, 4h
    Nightmare Nights Bound!

    8 comments · 109 views
  • 4w, 5d
    Did Rainbow Rock? EqG2 Spoilers

    Howdy, all! Okay, so I just got back from seeing the new Equestria Girls. I know that other, more eloquent people(read: Present Perfect), will be doing full blown review blogs so I figured I would give a brief pros vs cons of it. Just a quick what I liked and didn't like. So, let's go!


    Pros:

    The pacing.

    Oh, dear sweet baby Jeebus, Leaps and bounds above the first movie! Scenes lasted longer than 30 seconds, and had time to breathe. Conversations felt like actual interactions as opposed to exposition spewing.

    The Animation.

    For real, this movie looked great. The animation was more fluid than the first one. It's obvious that DHX had a bigger budget for this one, and they certainly flexed their muscles. Cool lighting effects, pans and sweeps, countless new facial expressions.

    On this, I have decided that Equestria Girls Scootaloo is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. Iunno, maybe it's just me having a thing for girls with short hair, but between that, the capris, and the hoodie, I just beetus'd all over myself.

    The Plot.

    Holy shit, not as many massive, gaping plot holes! This time around, we actually had competent villains! As soon as Sunset saw the Dazzlingz do their shtick, the first thing the girls to is go straight to Principal Celestia and Luna... only to find that the Dazzlings got to them first! The Dazzlings are revealed to be Sirens, an ancient group of spirits that feed off disharmony. Basically, Bizarro Changelings. Their actions make total sense in the view of the narrative.

    What actually pleased me the most is that this was really Sunset Shimmer's movie. The running substory is about her trying to fit in after her whole, you know, "turned into a she-demon and tried to take over the world" thing. When we finally get Twilight back into the world, we see the girls fawn over her, claiming all their problems will be solved by her, and every time we see Sunset in the background. There is a scene where Twilight and Sunset have a nice little conversation about wanting to help, but not knowing how, and being scared of letting people down. Then, in the end, it's Sunset that saves the day, not Twilight.

    The music.

    Holy crap, guys. The song sin this movie were catchy as shit! And not in a bad way. I was tapping my foot the entire time. Granted, it was a very pop-inspired kind of "rock," but it still rocked. Even the Dazzlings songs were great, very moody, almost sensuous. For real, their Battle of the Bands song made the entire goddamn movie.

    The Fan Service.

    Okay, as far as I am concerned, LyraBon is now canon. No, not roommates, not close friends, but goddamn lesbian lovers.  Sadly, there are no good screen caps yet, but the way they mashed their faces together while playing the piano, I don't care how touchy-feely girls are, no "close friends" do that shit. They be bonin'.

    Surprisingly, Trixie actually plays a decently-big role in this one!

    Octavia spoke. Yes, she friggin' spoke. Also, she got her ass kicked by the Rainbooms.

    Derpy goddamn everywhere. She even played in the talent show... and she played a saw. Never change, muffin mistress.

    Bulk Biceps is friggin' terrifying as a human, Dem red eyes...

    Vinyl actually played vital role in the finale! She still didn't talk, but hey, take what you can get!

    The End credits teaser.

    We actually saw the human world's Twilight! She has been studying the event of Canterlot High, and the whole thing ends with her confirming something fishy is going on there! Could this be a tease of a third movie... or maybe in the show? After all, it is now canon that they can travel between worlds at any time with the portal Twilight built...

    Cons:

    Brad.

    Goddammit, I was so looking forward to rubbing this into Tchernobog's face. I honestly thought that they would have learned their lesson from the first movie and actually given Flash Sentry something to do! Sadly, he was just as pointless in this movie, if not moreso. He didn't even get to save Twilight's bacon at one point. He contributed nothing to the overall plot, and could have easily been forgotten. Though we did get confirmation that Twilight still holds a flame for him, in a narrative sense... guh, fine. You win this round, Tchern...

    Spike.

    Funnily enough, the most interesting and useful character form the first one is pretty much pointless this time around. He hardly got any dialogue beyond being Twilight's cheerleader, and while he did come to the girls' rescue in the end, it was only because of one of those fewer, yet still there, plot holes. (Remind me why a high-school Battle of the Bands show stage has a giant trap door?)

    Plot Holes:

    Sadly, there were some ass-pulls this time, too, but in all honesty, it was nothing deal breaking... kinda. The way Sunset gets a hold of Twilight is pretty out of nowhere and awfully convenient. They hand-wave away the rest of the Mane Six not following Twilight just as shoddily as they did the first time, this time claiming it would be "too confusing to have two of everybody." srsly? And the aforementioned trap door.

    Also, 20% cooler joke. Writers, I am dissapoint...


    So, all in all? I really liked it! No, not, "Well, it was good for what it is" liked it, like the first one, but for real liked it! The jokes were funny, the music catchy, animation great, plot made a lot more sense than the last one, and it gave some much needed character to Sunset Shimmer... and none to Flash, but hey, take what you can get! Still not as good as an actual pony movie would be, but this was a highly entertaining little flick, and well worth the money I spent. I think you should all go see it.

    7.5/10

    28 comments · 339 views
  • 9w, 6d
    Ice Bucket Challenge: FIMFiction Edition!

    26 comments · 339 views
  • 10w, 6d
    Forgive Me Father...

    26 comments · 415 views
  • ...
 418
 4,991

Ponyville, the humble village known for its peaceful tranquility, is shaken to its core when a body is discovered in the Everfree Forest. As the townsponies grieve, the strange, pale Special Agent Bentgrass, from Their Majesties' Royal Investigative Service, arrives at the Books and Branches library and drags Twilight into a world she's only read about: lies, corruption, suspicion, and murder.

Faced with an indifferent police force, and Agent Bentgrass's infuriating methods, Twilight must put the pieces together and catch the killer. But as blood continues to spill and questions pile up, one thing is terrifyingly clear: in the dark of the Everfree, much more is at play than mere murder.

Featured on Equestria Daily

First Published
25th Jul 2012
Last Modified
19th Jan 2013

Well written, my friend.  Have to wonder if 'Bentgrass' is his true name, though.  

Can't wait for more

Glad to see it finally up here! Looking forward to where it goes next :twilightsmile:

I've praised you enough in PM, so this comment is for potential readers of this story:

Under a Luminous Sky is a gripping, chilling, compelling examination of what happens when violence strikes in a small-town.  The setting is palpable and atmospheric, the dialogue crisp and clever, and both the show-characters and the OCs are rich in personality.  Definitely a dark romp, but if you like police/FBI procedurals, supernatural murder mysteries, or... you know... PONIES, then give this story a look.  I didn't know quite what to think going in, but I came out with a smile on my face and the sweat of suspenseful anticipation on my brow.

If this were a finished story, I would have read the whole thing in a night.

-Guesswork :raritywink:

>>971340  Dude, you're a general!  :raritystarry:

>>971605 heh, Jake asked me if it was alright to use my OC in a minor role here, and I was more than happy to oblige :pinkiehappy:

Ah excellent! I was hoping that you would put this on Fimfiction. It's easier to keep trace of fics this way.

>>971586

A recommendation by one of my absolute favorite authors on this site? I have no CHOICE but to read this, now. :raritydespair:

Added to Read List. Love the premise. I actually really enjoy gritty fics where the "darkness" is for proper plot, not just for it's own sake.

I'm really liking this story, it's well written and Bentgrass is amusing. Reminds me of some noir comics I've read, I'll definitely be following this one :twilightsmile:

Damn this is good, deserves its feature on EqD and should be featured here as well. Liked and fav'd.

Great chapter.  You're really turning the screws on these characters.  Very noir: so many lies, coverups, furtive glances, and secrets pushed into the backs of drawers.  This story is a like a Monet painting with a shadow falling across it.

I'm looking forward to this story's updates. I just hope there's more to Bentgrass than the "mysterious deadpan investigator" archetype.

Wow. Okay, epic reply time, GO!

>>971335

Bentgrass has many secrets, but his name isn't one of them. At least, his last name...

>>971340

Thank you, kind sir! Also, just FYI, I've scrapped the chapter with Cloudhammer. Just didn't add enough to the plot. So now you don't have to worry about me butchering your character, literally or figuratively. :pinkiehappy:

>>971927

So I have learned. I just felt more comfortable writing in GDocs. All updates will post here.

>>972280

A few more of those, and I'll be swimming in follows. MWUHAHAHAHA!!!! :trixieshiftright:

>>972773

Thank you! I hope you read it. I have a few on my read later list that have fallen to the wayside. Too many good stories...

>>973655

Thanks! I tried really hard to make Bentgrass believable, not one-dimensional.

>>978186

:yay:

>>993643

Heh, thank you. Though I'd really like to turn the screws on Applejack. I'm a sucker for freckles. :heart: :ajsmug: Wait, um...

>>993644

More will be revealed about his past, but slowly. By the end of his run, I think you'll have a deeper appreciation for his methods.

Oh, you guys! Thank you so much for reading! :yay:

>>993698  Keep Cloudhammer in the story.  I really liked his character!  Think of a reason for him to go to Ponyville.

>>993744

Honestly? I'm thinking of using that chapter as kind of a bonus chapter. Not sure when I would release it, but it would basically be a side story about Shining. I'd still have to edit the f:yay:k out of it, but yeah. Because I agree, I really do like the chapter, it just slows down the story.

>>993763  Shining Armor is freaking out about Twilight's safety, so Cloudhammer volunteers to go to Ponyville and keep an eye on Bentgrass as a "liason" or something.

>>993763   I just liked how Cloudhammer seemed like a guy who not only had a firm understanding of the secret politicking that goes on behind the scenes, but had access to unorthodox means of getting things done.  That's my favorite type of character, and a great rival/ally for Bentgrass, even in a minor role.

Yay that was good.

"For a place dedicated to saving lives, Twilight thought, this floor seems really... dead"

1 dislike?!?!?

Get your pitchforks and torches, some poor sucker's in for it. :pinkiecrazy:

So, the killer cut out her heart and carved a symbol into her flank...

*sighs*  I guess I'm going to have to go to Tumblr and question Ipsywitch about which of her relatives is currently trying to summon a dark god.  :trollestia:

I hope Agent Bentgrass isn't like that detective on Law and Order Criminal Intent. That guy is annoying.

>>1001232

Not to worry, never watched CI. Used to watch SVU, until every single episode became the exact same one over and over and over and over and over and over and over. :pinkiesick:

Nice chapter! I caught a solid "Sherlock Holmes" vibe from it.

I find it very weird that this story doesn't have more views, ratings and comments. Seems unfair, judging by the [strike]very good[/strike] great quality of this piece. I've never read Sherlock Holmes before and all the knowledge I have from him would be the two movies... and I'm not sure how they relate to the actual works. Point is: I wouldn't know about any correlations between Bentgrass and Mr. Holmes. Still, he is an interesting character. I like his witty charm and his more-logical-than-Twi's train of thought. I am very eager to see what his story is and I thank the Gods that you're above a "boo-hoo-hoo, look at me, I had a tragic past!" and other rather mediocre things kind of backstory.

The writing left me completely immersed in the story. The flow is very, very, very good and the characters so far are believable. More than that: you've built an interesting "what if" future situation for the Mane/Main 6 that I'm sure (or I hope, at least) will be clarified when time comes. Clarified not in the sense of "it's confusing, help!", but in the sense of "I hope we'll see more of what the Mane/Main 6 became in these years that have passed".

Y'know, after reading tons of E. Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft books in a row, I thought I had enough of these kinds of detective stories (I know they aren't detective per se... pardon me if I commit any mistake, English is not my mother language and I'm unable to... find the right words for it; police novel, maybe? I'm really not sure) for my entire lifetime. And yet, as I took a glance at the prologue "just because", I knew that this story is definitively worth reading. I couldn't simply "put it down"... I had to know what really happened.

Before I end it, I'd just like to state that I like the way the suspense is building. There's still far to come our way, but you made do without using cheap tactics like cliffhangers. Every chapter I finish reading, I am already eagerly awaiting the following. My only complaint is that I wish I could read this in one sit-through...

Excuse me if my "criticism" was too short, but I am... 'programmed' to find errors in stories. And as much as I paid attention to this, I failed to do so. Either your writing is good to the point in which I feel enamored with the story and I simply fail to catch the errors or you've worked some sort of satanic pact to keep the writing pristine. Either way, keep doing it!

I wish someone with a better sense than me could come and validate my points...

Initially I was kind of put off by Bentgrass, but I'm starting to like this story more and more.

Also, Night Guards reference! Woo!

This just keeps getting better and better! And why hasn't this been featured yet, it's better then most of the crap you find in that box.

I can only agree with what has been said in the previous comments. Although I only started reading this story yesterday, I’ve read all of the existing chapters in one go, which is unusual for me. I’m not a native English speaker, wherefore I read rather slowly and tend to read multi-chapter stories over the period of several days. But this fic is just so absorbing! It flows very well and I particularly like the dialogues.

Also, it is really impressive how you manage to integrate your detective story into the world of MLP:FiM. Conventional detective stories are about a crime against one ore more unknown persons in a random place and focus mainly on the investigators and their work. Your story, on the other hand, needs to convincingly depict the emotional impact of the murder on the peaceful pony society and on the story-relevant characters from the show while maintaining the suspense which is typical for a detective story, and I can imagine that this is not easy to do. There are many scenes which could have either given not enough credit to the characters’ feelings or ruined the suspense, but so far everything works out perfectly.

So… as much as I would like to write a devastating critique and relentlessly bring up all the flaws of your story, I’m afraid I can’t see any major problem. I cringed a bit when I read the disguise scene in the latest chapter because, having read several Sherlock Holmes stories lately, I’m tired of this kind of twist and saw it coming right when the disguised Bentgrass was introduced. However, this is rather a personal complaint than a real issue. I love your story and I’m looking forward to the next chapters.

By fan broke from all the shit that just hit it.

This be gettin real. And yay longer chapter yay. :yay:

Wait, I assume ERS is federal, Shackle has zero authority. Basically doesn't Bengrass have the power to remove Shackle from duty, reopen the investigation and commandeer all resources he could want?  

>>1077461

Shackle can whine and complain all he wants, but Bentgrass probably can't remove him or vice versa.

On the flip side a few letters can get Shackle removed but that would take long enough that the idiot can cause a delay that will probably kill another pony.

As for the murderer: the zebra (might not actually be Zecora) did it and the sheriff was bribed.

>>1077461

I look at it like the FBI. Sure, they have more power than a local police precinct, but by law they can't just come in and take over. Unless they can prove the crime crossed state lines, they have no authority, save some massive bureaucratic process. This will be expanded upon later. :ajsmug:

>>1078162

Hmm, interesting theory...

>>1078162

Wow so some pony gets murdered and you instantly think a zebra did it. I'm not saying it's a little speciest but... :trollestia:

>>1078836

Well the heart was removed by a blade, sounds like a ritual of the worst kind: pony sacrifice :pinkiecrazy:

Not that unicorns are big on ritual or the occoltish stuff of course. :trollestia:

and since i see a lack of image i will now rectify this.

>>1078889

Well the heart was removed by a blade, sounds like a ritual of the worst kind: pony sacrifice :pinkiecrazy:

Maybe that is just what the killer wants you to think. Jeffery Dahmer stole organs but it wasn't for an occult ritual.

Now given the type of story this is, I wouldn't be surprised if it was occult but that doesn't automatically make it a zebra's work.

Maybe it will be like Indigo Prophecy/Fahrenheit

well it could just be for the evilolz, keeping the heart or throwing it at something else.

But i'll stick to my occolt theory :rainbowwild:

Perhaps the occolt ritual will summon Terac to cast down the princesses and release discord.

I get the feeling that it may have been a zebra, too. Agent Bentgrass did seem interested in Zecora's ritual dagger, and I don't believe for a second that Zecora doesn't know what it's used for. Considering Zecora's reluctance toward talking about her past, as well as Bentgrass's experience in Zebrica, I think the tribe that Zecora is from may have had tendencies for ritual sacrifice...and Bentgrass knows it. Maybe Zecora herself was assigned to be a sacrifice, but she managed to escape the country. On the opposite side of Equestria, near a "podunk" town, she's set herself up in the depths of a hostile forest--the Everfree makes an excellent hiding spot.

But now, maybe somepony from her old home has found her, and is trying to draw her out with an unspoken threat: "The longer you hide, the more ponies will die."

Oh crap... what background character has been felled this time?!

its a pair this time, the last one was Berry so it will probably be someponies who are named. Kinda expecting somepony like Carrot Top or Cloud Kicker though the fact its a pair does bring up the possibility of it being Lyra and BonBon.

Twilight be pissed mon... and I don't think Sheriff Shackle should stand in her way and Agent Bentgrass's way... for his sake.

Looking forward to reading more! Not sure I fully like Agent Bentgrass's methods completely however I usually prefer a gentler touch. But that's just me. :twilightsmile: :twilightsmile: However, I'd have to say that he reminds me of some of the investigators from shows like PBS's Master Piece Theatre :twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

Well, the killer likes to attack from bushes. Armed with this knowledge, I assume the killer is Garen. Only problem is nopony screamed DEMACIA during the murder scene.

Simply amazing lol! I'm loving this story more an more, Bentgrass and Twilight make a great team.

How would Rainbow Dash explain her date to Big Mac? Another great chapter :rainbowlaugh:

Something tells me Bentgrass is going to exploit RD's date to get information from Deputy Bale...

Also, would it be possible to get a sketch of the mark carved into the bodies? I'm not quite sure I understand the description correctly.

Trio of.. diamonds? Now I assume that that wasn't Rarity, judging from Twilight's lack of reaction, but I would change that unless it is Rarity. It scared me a bit too much to be enjoyable.

>>1119657

Yeah, it freaked me out for a moment, too. However, the "light-purple" color establishes her as Sparkler, and the description is accurate.

To the author: I noticed an error: “Agent Bentgrass, I think there’s something in her stomach.” They're talking about the stallion; it should be "his."

As always, great work! :twistnerd:

I'll take a guess the stallion was Pokie Pierce (who enjoys popping balloons).

strange though, mutated parasprites. An interesting twist.

Of course, you could say that for almost every chapter so far, but still.

Congratulations, any evidence you now obtain will be rendered null and void as you obtained it using illegal methods (unless Equestria's Justice System is really screwed up).

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