It's pretty good. A little pointer though. For spech parantheseis, use " , Not '

And try indednting the paragraphs. But yeah, this is pretty good, just try and fix those little things.

>>444141444141

That's a little habit that I have, and have been using it in all my stories. It's a habit that I have to break...

>>444149444149

Yes, I have to say you must break that. It makes the quotations painful to read.

>>444151444151

I'll get it to the next chapters, as I'm too lazy to change them now.

>>444155444155 Lolkay, Back to writing!!! (Flys away like superman)

>>444159444159

I'll just run to the batcave when I can't fly...

>>444151444151

>>444149444149

I'm not entirely sure. Using ' over " was common in the English style (up until recently? I'm not sure if/when the change was made to be more American). So I can't really fault the use, as Lord of the Rings, and many English Lit novels I read use it this way.

Discord really thinks he can walk through Ponyville undisturbed as an ALICORN? k, he's kinda stupid.... but then, the Mane 6 tend to be oblivious to that kind of stuff but still.....

TRACKERS GOONA TRACK!!

>>444171444171

Comedytag.

>>444167444167 Meh, that's the way I've seen it in almost every book I have read.

Horn and wings, I got a strange feeling that is going to attract attention and a lot of it.

This will end hilariously.

This definitely seems like something I will enjoy. Let the chaos begin!

Can't wait to see what comes next.

What could go wrong? Lets find out

What could go wrong indeed...

What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong?

"What couldn't possibly go wrong" is a more likely question. Hehe.

"What could possibly go wrong" Sorry Discord, this question is called a universe dare, ask it, and something wrong WILL happen.... and knowing Pinkie Pie, she will gasp and make preparations for a welcome party.... soooooo.... you're screwed

famous last words

Discord you have just sealed your fate with those words.

KISSMENOW!!

Ancient equestrian you say. Interesting

He bit into a worm or something and freaked Fluttershy out, didn't he.

Huh..........GHOSTBUSTERS

Discord.... never speak to Twilight... she can pierce disguises.... after a while

Hm Discord and Luna shipping, that's new to me, every fic i have read it have always bean Celestia/Discord and never Luna, but i like it its good to see something new.

>>464942464942

I know, right? It's time for a change for once.

’‘But my mistake made me loose my sister for a thousand years...’’ Celestia sighed as he walked out from the room.

Oops. I believe you mean "lose" there, Symphony. But then again... PERHAPS THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEANT!

The rather large herd of terrified little ponies galloped desperately down the Canterlot mountain path, their screams long ago turned to gasps for breath. Several young colts and fillies, whose bodies were too small to keep with their kin, rode, sobbing on the backs of their elders, sobbing quietly into their wind-whipped manes.

A dark shadow gloamed over the group like a bird of prey. It passed over the group with sickly slowness, until the young stallion at the head of the herd noticed it. His long, leaping gallop broke into a painful breaking canter -- "Everypony! She's here!" The group began to scream again as the screeched painfully to a stop, gravel and dirt scraping their flanks; some fell over wildly, and scrambled to run the other way. The energy of the herd was shattered and confused. The terrible shadow looped lazily around, it's owner slowly descending to what had been the rear of the group.

The dark, winged unicorn of the night, Princess Luna, landed before her subjects. "It ash so vunderval to zee you all!" She landed on her flanks and raised her hooves.

"No!" An older mare screamed as her body was enveloped in a glowing magic aura. She looked aside and saw that her eldest grandson, a strapping dark brown earth pony in the same state. He looked at back at her. His eyes were wide with terror, but he was silent. Dignified. Proud. His grandmother closed her eyes. "No." She said, barely a whisper as she felt herself lurched forward by the magic. "She's going to hug us!"

Luna wrapped several of her ponies in a great, hug. "Finally, vee can be friends, ya?" She said, her eyes closed in bliss, somehow unaware of the desperate struggling of her subjects.

"Her hoof smells like cream cheese!" A young unicorn mare squeaked to the horrified group.

"Finally, friends, ya?" Princess Luna repeated.

The leader of the herd could only watch around and over the scrambling bodies of his fellows. He watched the horror of the nonconsentual hug, unable to move, unable to speak. He felt something, something big land behind him. He eventually turned, his expression unchanging. "Why?" He asked the newcomer, the princess of the day. "Why?"

Princess Celestia looked form side to side nervously. "Well, um, you see." She sighed and blew a bit of astral bangs out of her eye. "I can't, uh, keep her locked in..." She slumped. "She finished XXXholic so fast. It was unprecedented. We were unprepared. I had no choice." She leaned forward. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, my little pony."

The stallion looked down in understanding. "I understand." He crawled to the sun princess like a foal to his mother, and began to cry, unable to keep it back any longer. "She knocked over a bowl."

ONE

"Shhh." The sun princess wrapped her white wings around the little earth pony as he sobbed. "I know."

THOUSAND

"Seriously. Cream cheese!" Squeaked a voice nearby.

YEARS

>>465058465058

I'll fix it right now. Oh, and that made me laugh way harder than I probably should have...

>>465066465066

Big brother Darkmatter is always happy to be of service; whether it's error patrol or spontaneously written weird microfiction, I'll be there for everypony!

WIngboners... god, this is funny. XD Can't wait to see Pinkie~

Uh oh, I see Discord getting too attached, which would be upsetting. I want some chaos. Yummy, yummy, chaos.

Also I like Discord's cover name.

More please.

lol

Fourth wall goes BOOM!

>>482527482527

I blame the chaos energy.

4th wall goes boom and a Human gets summoned in again.....

wait.... What?

thank god, i though for a second that you where gonna make a HiE out of this, thank heaven i was wrong

oh and btw nice chapter

Now we know how you feel about HiE fics.

Keep em coming Symphony, I really like the humor this fics radiates.

Ugh oh. Now Rarity will feel she simply must sew Discord a new cloak after this incident. That could be trouble.

my day >

your update >

my day now >

I'm glad I started tracking this.

this just got more...chaotic! destroy them all lord discord!

Discord is best pony

oh this is good and it just keeps getting better per chapter

>>513245513245

True. True.

Wow, he's going kind of psycho.

>>514948514948

He's the embodiment of chaos and the spirit of disharmony. Psychotic behaviour was a part of the deal.

RUN DISCORD!!!

I hope discord goes all ape hit on her, considering what she did to him.

Discord's train of thought: shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit 'sees Luna' fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

equestria WILL BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh... shit is getting real now. Discord is in full out panic mode, and I don't see that ending well at all.

>>529368529368

But that was Celestia, not Luna that did that to him.

>>529833529833 but she didn't defend him, i would be pretty pissed if my girlfriend let her sister break my body, wouldn't you?

>>529833529833

Don't care.

>>529950529950

Luna did defend him, but Celestia had arrived to Discord before Luna had, she defended Discord until he told her to go.

me gusta, this little short story is turning into quite the epic story.

and its on now, no more game, Luna knows ho he is and discord knows Luna knows, and he's in full panic mode. im not sure how you will write next chapter but i know it will be fun

Hmm.............. I like this. Tracked. CONTINUE!!!

Error Report!

"She plopped down onto her massive bead and laid down on her back, cracking a few joints in the progress."

Princess Luna rests on a massive bead. Most excellent! I'm not surprised to find it to be a bone-popping experience to lay on. Perhaps the Princess of the Night would like to try a bed? Her highness would find that the last thousand years has seen great advances in sleeping technology. Even dragons now sleep on great piles of coins, rather than the super gigantic singular sleeping coin. If she still feels uneasy, perhaps we can see to starting simple. Perhaps a vat of unusually large beads, and if that pleases her majesty, we can ease that into normally proportioned beads, and from there -- well, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Also, ahem, high royalty does not, as you put it here, "plop".

>>533489533489

Fix'd.

>>533489533489

Saying that she ''gracefully laid down with a content sigh as she closed her eyes'' wasn't exactly occupying my mind when I wrote it. ''plop'' it is!

Come on Celestia, she should know better. Put some pony in a corner and that is when they get desperate to get out.

Congratulations Celestia, you royally screwed the Elements of Harmony.

I'm not sure Discord's periculum can act at 100% of its strength in this pony form....

Now, what does THIS remind me of...oh yeah!

Nice one, Celestia.   Let's hope it ends up better for you than it did Tom.

see you in hell tyrant

Oh i smell an action chapter with a lot of battle scene coming up

>>538474538474

DING DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER!

lol

and first

Couldn't he just, you know, take the necklace off?

>>543883543883

Celestia's magic locked it to him. Only Celestia can open it. He doesn't have any magic to pick it with.

>>543887543887

Well then you might want to have him fruitlessly attempt to take it off; make it clear that he can't. Just a suggestion though.

>>543895543895

Did you think that Discord is going to apologize on his own free will?

I REALLY FUCKING HATE CELESTIA really she is such a bitch, if i were discord i would just do something so drastic that they would have to lock me away rather then ba slave to her.

>>543902543902

I figured he would be forced to do it at (whats the equivalent of gunpoint?, horn point?) horn point, and would try ripping the necklace off the first chance he got.

Hahahaha, and Discord was doing so well. It is fun to see him kick ass when so many other people write Celestia as a Mary Sue in a way. Symphony, please don't keep us waiting to long for the next chapter.

A quick note to go with that, I want to say I like how you are dealing with each chapter. They have the right pacing to them and progress the plot nicely. More so, they may be short but I like having a new chapter once or twice a week. Keep it up!

Celestia used Solar Beam!

Celestia why are you using grass attacks against a flying type?

>>544024544024

I keep the updates on a schedule that I try my best to follow.

discord ...........fuck

Luna .........

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

Nice chapter, the battle scene was good, fun to see they all kick some ass. I thought for a second there he was gone make it so the necklace thing was a surprise, but a pleasant one, i was expecting the story to start rapping up and end soon but now it seems it's just beginning, so awesome

and Discord now striped of all magic, (no flying no fancy unicorn magic nothing) and under threat of petrifaction forced in to rehabilitation..

Poor Discord, Celestia is relay gone try to humiliate him whit this isent she

I loved the human fakeout.

good good nice chapter like the tone keep it up

EDIT:

Image: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg

VERY pissed Celestia?

oh that looks interesting too bad theres no Discord emoticon, Id use it instead

Eeyup very nice chapter, and the way it played out whit him flowing them back to canterlot i like

Hurry up! I want to read the next chapter!I would kill for that chapter. If you won't make it I will!!!  Besides I have plently of free time today.

>>554252554252

Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? Next chapter is out tomorrow like always unless something keeps me from writing it.

Sorry.

>>557476557476

No problem.

Anyways, I will give you these well, congratulatory Pinkies.

DAWWWWWWWWW........

Edit:.........first........LET THE HATE COME......

Pinkie pie and Rainbow dash need to get in on this pranking business

best pranks ever

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png

>>563351563351

...What hate?

>>563857563857

i got first lots of hate for us first ppl

that song....

and poor servant....

>>563918563918

I listened to it for 20 consecutive minutes writing this chapter. It's catchy.

lol the servant

they are gone have hell whit him and luna playign pranks on celestia, and dicord seams to accept his fate a bit more now, or he is just playing them.

anyways grate chapter fun as always

I know a song that gets on everypony's nerves....

How long til that servant snaps?

Well Symphony, as always, this was amusing. While it could be more fun should the collar ever pop off or stop working, , It is fun for the time being.

P.S. The cake got its revenge on Celestia for all its fallen comrades.

Prank war, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash Vs. Discord coming up.

Oh, can anyone guess the song I used?

first besides author

song sounds familiar but not sure if i know what it is