Innocent Minds No More
Discord shrugged with his wings. It felt great to have them back. He could finally fly again and not be grounded and without any strength at all. Celestia actually did something nice to him when he had been just a pain in the flank to her. Discord spread his wings and took off, leaving Twilight Sparkle coughing in the dust.
He kept on climbing in altitude. His horn helped him slash through the wind resistance like a knife. When he was satisfied with the altitude, Discord went into a barrel roll, spinning like a goldish-grey tornado. Discord closed his eyes so he wouldn’t lose focus and misjudge his drop. He crashed through three clouds, making them implode into a cascade of water and cloud stuff. Discord turned against the direction he was rolling and stabilized.
After a few minutes of taking it easy, he started accelerating. He was furiously pumping his wings and gritting his teeth. The wind was whipping his eyes, making it difficult to keep them open. He flew above the town, did a few flips and loops. The townsponies was looking at him in awe but one certain cyan pegasus was not amused.
Discord did one last outdrawn and lazy loop close to the ground, snapped his wings to his sides, made a backflip and landed with a great thump, kicking up more dust with his arrival. He strode out from the cloud of dust with a smirk. His mane had been slicked back from the wind, making it look kempt instead of unruly and messy. A couple of mares whistled at him as he passed them. He ignored them and kept on walking.
Discord passed Rainbow Dash and flicked his tail on the tip of her nose. She whipped her head back and growled.
’‘Hey!’’ Rainbow called after him. Discord stopped and turned his head to her.
’‘What? Want some tips on flying?’’ Discord smirked.
Rainbow growled again and gritted her teeth. It didn’t feel like such a bad idea to place him back in the hospital right now. ’‘You think you’re a hotshot in the air?’’ She puffed out her chest.
’’Oh, I don’t think I am, I know I am.’’ Discord walked towards Rainbow. ’‘I’m pretty sure I can maneuver better than you.’’
’’Oh yeah? How about a race then?’’ Rainbow walked up to him and pushed Discord in his chest. He didn’t even budge.
’‘Sounds like fun, you’re on.’’ Discord reached out his right hoof.
’’Awesome.’’ Rainbow reached out her own hoof and shook it. ’‘Good luck, you’re gonna need it...’’ Rainbow turned around and chuckled at the thought of Discord winning. There was no chance that could happen! ...Right?
’‘Hold on for a minute.’’ Rainbow looked back at him. ’‘How about we make this interesting, hm?’’ Discord smirked.
’‘What do you have in mind?’’ Rainbow was always interested in bets.
’’A bet.’’ Discord nonchalantly rubbed his hooves to the necklace. ’’If I win, you will allow me to stay in your cloud home for the rest of my time in Ponyville, and you will have to stay with Twilight Sparkle in the... the library...’’ Discord didn’t like libraries and if he would win he would get a place of his own in Ponyville.
Rainbow gulped. She didn’t know how fast Discord really was, he could have been flying in a slow pace when she saw him fly. The thought of letting Discord stay in her own home was horrifying, but staying in the library with Twilight was a nightmare come true. She’d be able to read some Daring Do books, though. Losing wasn’t an option in this case. She hesitantly cleared her throat. ’‘You’re on.’’
’‘Wonderful!’’ Discord grinned. ’‘We’ll have the race tomorrow if that’s fine with you?’’
’’I... It’s fine.’’
’‘Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow Rainbow Dash!’’ With that, Discord shot out into the air, leaving a crimson trail that looked like a weak lightning bolt behind him. Rainbow realised that this might have been a bad idea after all.
-----
’’Sister?’’ Luna poked her older sister sitting besides her in the golden chariot heading towards their castle in Canterlot. Luna was concerned about Celestia, as she hadn’t said anything yet on the trip back. Celestia appeared to be lost in thought.
’’Hm, yes?’’ Celestia shook her head.
’‘What’s concerning you?’’ Luna placed a comforting hoof on Celestia’s shoulder.
Celestia sighed. ’‘Discord’s necklace...’’
’‘What’s wrong with it?’’
’’I just hope that the spell that locks it to him isn’t weakened when I allowed his pegasus magic to return. His periculum is like a completely different entity than what he is. It’s more dangerous, treacherous and even... murderous...’’ Celestia sighed again.
’‘I’m sure nothing can happen, I mean, I can see and feel Discord slowly changing his ways. Perhaps the necklace is converting his periculum?’’ Luna thought about it. It could be what was happening or just a mirage. She hoped that it wasn’t the latter.
’’I just... I just don’t know...’’ Celestia closed her eyes. If it was one thing she hated, that thing was not knowing what to do.
Luna was taken aback from the sudden change in her sister. Celestia was almost always so optimistic and knew what to do in almost every situation. Luna bit her lip, thinking about something to say.
’‘We’ll find out, I promise...’’ Luna pulled her sister towards her in a comforting embrace.
’’We always do.’’ Celestia smiled.
-----
Discord was trotting through Ponyville again. He was excited for the race against Rainbow. He had always wondered if he was faster than her. He would finally get to find out. Discord heard three small voices arguing about something. He decided to take a closer look about what was causing all that ruckus.
The arguing came from the same three fillies that had crashed into him when they were riding on that scooter. It was a painful reminder. He walked up to them and cleared his throat. Three startled heads turned towards him. They looked at him like he was a ghost.
’‘What in the sweet creation of chaos are you three arguing about?’’ Discord frowned.
Three voices started rambling in an impressively loud volume. He had no idea what they were talking about when they were all talking at the same time.
Discord rubbed his temples. ’‘One at a time, please.’’ The orange filly with the purple mane, Scootaloo was it? Stepped forward and cleared her throat while glaring at her friends.
’‘My mom said that I was going to get a little baby sister or brother in a couple of months,’’ Discord gulped and his eyes widened. He didn’t like where this was going. ’’so we were arguing about where babies come from.’’ She huffed.
’’Oh...’’ Discord’s soul died a little.
’‘Sweetie Belle said tha’ babies come from a stork, ‘cause that’s what her sister told ’er but Ah said that they git th’ baby at th’ hospital.’’ Applebloom pointed a hoof at her unicorn friend. That’s when the trio got the same idea at the same time. They turned their heads towards Discord in a creepily slow fashion.
’’Mr. Discord...’’ Sweetie Belle started.
’‘Where does babies come from?’’ The three asked in unison. Discord’s ears flattened to his skull in an instant and his eyes widened, his pupils became hardly visible pricks.
’‘They... uh... where... babies... Shit.’’ Discord stammered, unsure what to do.
’‘Babies, shit?’’ Are you feeling okay?’’ Scootaloo arched an eyebrow.
’‘I’m fine...’’ Discord lied.
’’So, where does babies come from?’’ Sweetie Belle repeated the question, her eyes was the living proof of innocence. Discord would normally have enjoyed shattering minds, but they were so young. Discord saw an old acoustic guitar lying on a bench close by. An idea sprung to his mind.
’‘Wait here, kids!’’ He trotted off to the guitar and picked it up. He had no idea of how he was going to do this with hooves. He placed his left hoof to the strings on the neck and thought about a basic G-chord and struck the strings. A clear chord came from the guitar. He had no idea of what just happened, but it was good enough. He motioned with his free hoof for the girls to come closer. They happily trotted towards him.
’‘You’re gonna play a song about making babies?’’ Applebloom chirped.
’’Eh... Basically, yes. He started playing the intro of the song.
’’This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely’’
A few older ponies also started gathering around him.
’’You don't always have to buck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right, to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And buckin' give her some smooches too’’
A collective gasp echoed through the gathered crowd. One mare fainted.
’’Sometimes you got to squeeze
Sometimes you got to say "Please..."
Sometimes you got to say "Hey..."’’
The three fillies started shifting around, clearly uncomfortable. Discord took a breath before he continued.
’’I'm gonna buck you, softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you, sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly’’
The older ponies who had fillies or colts with them covered their ears and trotted away from the singing spirit.
’’And then you say "Hey I brought you flowers"
And then you say "Wait a minute, Sally"
"I think I got somethin' in my teeth, could you get it out for me?"
That's buckin' team work!’’
A few of the older ponies started liking the extremely inappropriate song. The crusaders ears flattened and they started gritting their teeth.
’’What's your favorite posish
That's cool with me
It's not my favorite but I'll do it for you
What's your favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it
But I'll order it from Zebrabar’’
Twilight Sparkle thought that she heard some singing from the park, as she was trotting towards it, she heard Discord’s voice and realised it was the spirit that was singing. She grinned and sprinted the rest of the way.
’’And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I buckin buck you discreetly
And then I buckin bone you completely’’
Twilight’s jaw dropped as she heard those lyrics. She was about to scold him and tell him to stop singing immediately. Discord took a deep breath and started banging his head.
’’But then I'm gonna buck you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!’’
As Discord played the last chord, he opened his eyes and looked at the now deeply disturbed fillies besides him. Their eyes were distant and unfocused. They didn’t say anything and their ears flapped from time to time.
’‘DISCORD!’’ The force from Twilight’s shout made Discord tip backwards and fall onto his back. She made a very nice imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
’’Ah crap...’’ Discord sighed. He was in trouble now.
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...Awesome.
first!
620044
Lolnope
620046
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-
BAHAHAHA!!!!
They asked for it
620126
Yes they did.
By the way, I'm waiting for that Derpy story to pass moderation.
620128 Realy?!?1? Awesome! I will tell Derpy
*Fells pressure on head*
Derpy, what are you doing?
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/292/516/df7.png
620139
Best. Hat. Ever.
Image makes me think of Scar from the Lion King
This chapter was pure comedic gold!
The stork brings the baby to the hospital, and the parents go there to pick it up. Everypony knows that.
"Discord would normally have enjoyed shattering minds, but they were so young."
isn't that what happened anyways?
Great story. However, a significant number of writing problems.
It doesn't distract from the story much, but could really use work.
620710
Discord isn't exactly good at being subtle.
...Well that's one way to learn about the birds and bees.
He did not..... SING TENACIOUS D TO THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!
(There isn't enough lols to cover that...)
A most interesting story. Can't wait to read more.
621222
Luna is best princess. Screw Celestia.
621215
Oh, he did. Luna is NOT going to be happy...
621350 But dude, that Fricken hilarious! I just see the CMC's walking away twitching, while Luna does this, "You are in big trouble mister" look while Discord has this complete, "Who, me?" face with one hoof on his chest. Ah, the lols!
621381
Well, next update-day is Tuesday, so that's the chapter he will get it.
...Poor Discord
621607
If I'd guess, she'd make Discord talk to Luna so she'd get a private audition to the Wonderbolts.
HAHA, I DON'T HAVE TO GUESS I'M THE FREAKING AUTHOR I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
Discord is best <intakes breath> PONYPRANKSTERPHYSICALGODSEXUALEDUCATEORFLYERBOYFRENDANNOYINGROOMMATELIFESAVERSTONEDBYDRUGSCHARACTERMINDBREAKERTENASCIOUS-DENTERPRETOR EVER!!!
Great story so far 
I CAN simply see this scene before my eyes:
Sweetie Belle: Rarity...
Rarity: Yes Sweetie Belle?
Sweetie Belle: Could I ask you something sis?
Rarity: Of course you can Darling! I'm your big sister! You can ask my about everything you want.
Sweetie Belle: Before I was born...
Rarity: Yes?
Sweetie Belle: Did daddy buck mommy gently or hard?
Rarity: Of course he... WHAT?!
OH MY GOD MY SIDES. THEY BURN!
626160
I'd be pretty hateful too if I would've been imprisoned in stone twice, both being extremely painful to go through. I think it justifies it a little. Then it's his chaotic behaviour. That probably juices up his hate some more.
626183
That's something I can't leave out. It will hold a MAJOR point in the story a couple of chapters forwards.
I'm actually at odds with myself. The main idea of the story seems awesome, but the first three chapters are just... I dunno. Could you please just go over your work from time to time and make a few tweaks? The little things, you know?
626213
I've been thinking of doing that, but I'm too much of a lazy bastard to start doing it...
626215
She's about half a head taller than him.
oh holy crap the was awesome, i haven't laughed that hard in a good while, you my good sir really know how to use references and inside jokes and not have it over shine the story
)
Luna along whit Applejack and Rarity are SO gone kill him for this no question about it they are gonna fuck him up bad.
But in one way they asked for it, and if that was Discord way of bearing sudelt then i wonder wath him trying to scarring them for life who'd be (Warning pedobear song
it took me afew minutes to get discords song...
as soon as i read the opening for that song i knew what was comming good show good sir
OH GOD, MY SIDES
627040
I think it would be like when Twilight telefragged their ball in Lesson Zero.
"HELLLLLOOOOOO GIIIIIIIRLS"
only it isn't a doll he'd make them fight over, ho ho ho!
And that's how the CMC earned 3 of the most embarrassing cutie marks anypony had ever seen.
To think Discord got his revenge on all the elements without even trying!
discord just went chief on the CMC
Discord: Should I let their parents explain the birds and the bees when they're old enough? NO! I'll just sing a creepy and disturbing song, that's a far better alternative!
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You know that discord is enough trouble for initially being caught singing the song but when what about if the CMC sings it to their friends... By god its going to spread like a virus.
Da fuq did i just read?
this chapter...is a work of art
620140
Belongs in team fortress
......
The Damage Has Been Delt......AND IT WAS FANTASTIC
There is no word for how magic and awesome this chapter was....there ....is...just...no.....word
Ihave no words.................
...................hahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahahaha in the final he never answered the question
OMG, this explanation for the origin of babies was so hilarous and i laughed so much.