This story is a sequel to Destinies
After years of pain and turmoil, Fluttershy's sister Summer Rain brings needed change to her life after reading a careful record of the experiences in friendship between Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Realizing that many other ponies across Equestria could benefit from these lessons and the "Magic of Friendship", Summer heads to Ponyville to talk to the new princess about this, hoping to find a way to help other ponies enjoy this gem. Summer Rain's experiences in friendship expand amazingly from this humble start.
Chapters (53)
Hmm, very mysterious, and very captivating imagery. I am looking forward to seeing where this leads.
... Alright, you're new around here, so I'm gonna do you a favor. I'm a pre-reader and editor, so I'll do my best to point out what you're doing wrong. (I'll try to point out what you're doing right as well, but hopefully you understand it's a lot easier to explain mistakes than what you're doing right.)
... Okay, there's a ton just within this one sentence. Where to begin... Well, let's start simple, I suppose. 'scene' is so agonizingly vague. You know how the book is always better than the movie? It's due to several things. First, the book has details. Of the two following options, what's more appealing to read?
"Screw you!" he shouted, angrily hanging up.
"Screw you!" he said, slamming the receiver into the cradle. It flew across the wall, bouncing off the wall before shattering on the ground.
Hopefully, if I did it right, you'll say the second one. Now, it's never said that he's angry, but you get the feeling or 'know' that he's angry due to the actions, yes?
In short, you're too 'telly'. What is 'the scene' that is brightening into view? We don't need to know 'initially' because the scene is brightening. You're, in essence, repeating yourself. Readers don't like it when you repeat yourself. 'Seemingly endless'? Why is it only 'seemingly'? Are the edges whited out? Blacked out?
'Seen from an angle'? Again, that's so vague it's pointless to add. Why are 'you' telling us you're 'maybe' 50 feet in the air? Do 'you' not know? In instances like this, it's better for reading purposes to say something more like... 'several stories in the sky', or even just 'low in the sky'. Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Trevor, the second one is vague! You just said not to do that!" And you'd be right, but here's the difference: you were pointlessly vague. The things you were being vague about are so vague it doesn't immerse the reader. Simply saying 'love in the sky' allows the reader to use their imagination for exactly where in the low sky 'you' are, and by crafting the scene, it immerses the reader.
... There has to be a shorter way to say all of that, I'm sorry. I'll uh, come back in a bit to continue. That took longer than it should have, sorry.
Omg that's all I can say
How does such a long story only have three comments? Seriously.
52 chapters and only 4 comments?
well, gonna change when i read it.
Does the human tag mean its an Antro story? There is a tag for that now.
The moderators wanted the Human tag, which is fine. I could be wrong, but I think the Anthro tag is if I write a story about a person 'waking up' in Equestria. However, Summer's chronicles are based on the canon developments from the 'Equestria Girls' movie, and the Portal that opened up a junction between the two worlds. In Summer's chronicles, humans from the other side of the Portal appear in Equestria. and I think this is why they asked for the Human tag. This is my best guess anyway.
4701160
This makes absolutely no sense and has nothing to do with the anthro tag in the slightest.
she is not so surprised that her granddaughter has been cloned. Ill be like, "Nope, both of you will die get into the barn" and i would lock them and burn the barn