Draconic Troubles

by Davesknd

Mixing pink with silver

Twilight had known Spike for all his life. She had seen him hatch, grow and turn into the fine young dragon that he was now. And she knew that he loved the praise he got. But he was literally centuries away from what the silver monstrosity was doing right now.

Rarity had just started to point out the natural beauty of her scales—just mentioned the nice silver tone—and the dragoness was already engulfed. As Rarity went on, it became worse!

This was not basking in compliments. This was soaking in praise, drinking it up and… Twilight officially ran out of metaphors at this point.

While Rarity was talking, the dragoness was tracing her scales or spikes, depending on what Rarity was currently talking about. Sometimes a pleased grin would appear on her face or she would shift, as to give Rarity a new angle to look at and praise.

This was borderline obscene! Twilight was getting worried about foals watching.

Spike, on the other claw, had quite the show in the library’s basement. Fluttershy, ever the naïve mare, simply wondered why he was complaining about not having a camera around. And the drooling!

“Spike, are you all right?” she finally asked.

“I’M NOT UNDRESSING HER WITH THE POWER OF MY MIND!”

“But she’s already naked.”

At this point, Fluttershy had to administer CPR.

Meanwhile, Rarity was done with the first ten minutes and was getting desperate. There was a lot of dragon in front of her, but not much ground to cover from a praising point of view. Beside the basic aesthetics, she had no idea of dragon ideals of beauty or what they regarded as majestic. Sure, they were majestic compared to ponies (or to most other creatures), but what were their deeper ideals?

Rarity silently cursed herself for not being shallower.

“That should be sufficient for the moment!”

Rarity stopped dead in her tracks.

The dragoness’s voice was almost velvet and very silent for a being of her size. Not at all like the roaring of the red one.
“You may praise me a little more at a later time,” she said with a grin, stroking her spikes one last time. “Maybe after we talked a little and I gave you some more material.”

Rarity somehow managed to hide her shock. Was this thing psychic?

Twilight, on the other hoof, finally understood. And this understanding truly scared her. The lavender mare was not easily scared. She had dealt with a manticore, charged a hydra, and even defied a vengeful goddess. This dragon was not scary because she was big, strong or wild. Unlike a hydra, this was not a hazard that could be easily outsmarted or a clearly evil enemy.

This being was 750 years old. When she was born, the mare in the moon had been there for only two generations. Only Celestia knew how many ponies, zebras, or other beings she had met. And with this need for praise, she had not avoided socializing.

This is why they are so terrifying! Twilight thought. They’re not just powerful: they’re cunning and sly, as well! All of that muscle and mass is backed up by years upon years of experience. Spike is half my age and he is already as smart as a grown pony. How many of his lifetimes has she already seen?

“Now, I think we should address the logistics of my stay!”

Twilight looked up.

“I intend to remain here for two weeks,” the dragoness informed calmly. “You will not have to canter to my physical needs. I have arranged the necessities. But I will, of course, accept any gift given freely. And I intent to take a short nap for the last four days. So if your weather team could ensure that a place around here stays dry for that time, I would be very grateful.”
“Excuse me!” Twilight spoke up. “But wouldn’t the snoring produce a lot of smoke?”

“I am a lady, Miss Sparkle!”

Twilight tilted her head in confusion.

Behind her, Rarity let out a frustrated hiss.

Ever so subtly, Twilight turned around and looked at her in puzzlement.

Rarity sighed in resignation: “Ladies do not snore!”

Twilight went red, earning a very soft laugh from the dragoness.

“And Miss Mayor!”

Now the beige mare with the grey hair looked up.

“This is for your efforts.”

The dragoness extended her left claw, the one she had kept closed until now, over to the podium. For just a moment, Twilight saw something strange in her face, a slight tensing and hardening of her features. As if something was holding her back. Finally, as her face relaxed, the claw opened, dropping a battered chest. It sprung open on contact with the ground and revealed a new retirement home, new benches in every classroom, and a new main road in different coins.

“But Princess Celestia is already covering any expenses,” the mayor stammered after a second of shock.

“I know…” the dragon simply stated. “Think of it as a tip.”

“That is very generous!” the mayor replied. Somewhere a cash register could be heard.

“Indeed...” the silver beast agreed. Her eyes rolled towards Rarity for a second, as if to remind her to take some mental notes. Not that she needed any reminding. “Now, let us get this party going!” the dragoness announced and turned towards the food stand, ordering a few treats.

Twilight, however, was trying to figure out what exactly was happening around her. Giving away a part of her hoard? That was very suspicious!

“EXCUUUUUUSE ME!” a familiar voice interfered, before the dragoness could start eating.

Adalana looked downwards and spotted a very pink pony.

“Miss Dragon!” Pinkie called. “Yesterday, when I prepared this party, I thought to myself: Pinkie, I thought, why aren’t doorframes edible? When you lose your key, you could just eat the frame and get in without damaging the door! That is an issue that has to be addressed! But then, when I was about to write an angry letter to the door frame company, I remembered that you couldn’t even pass through doors, since we are all small Pony-wonies and you are such an enourmy-wormy! So I had the idea of preparing an indoor game for your outside! If you could follow me to the lake over there, you can play as well!”

The dragoness raised her brow-scales curiously. “How considerate. Why don’t you lead the way?”

“EVERYPONY CAN EITHER STAY OR COME TO WATCH!” Pinkie announced in a very Canterlot-esque way and started bouncing ahead.

As the “enourmy-wormy” started to follow Pinkie, Twilight turned to Rarity.

“Rarity, you did so great! I would have never imagined this to happen and you remained composed through all of it!”

“Yes, Twilight, it was surprising and a bit scary. Can you imagine this? I almost started to cry when it started!”

“Hard to foresee this, wasn’t it?”

“Yes! I mean… SILVER? That is so… modest! Gold I could praise for hours! Hay, even copper! But silver? That’s something you use to highlight darker colours, not cover yourself in! Really, this poor dragoness has to live with a worse fashion offense than poor Zecora! What would… Twilight? Where are you going?”

Twilight followed right after the dragoness, mumbling to herself about Rarity’s priorities. Only a few other ponies were coming along. Apparently they were worried about the possibility of the dragon eating all the food upon return (some were all too familiar with Spike).

At a small lake, just outside of Ponyville, Pinkie stopped and turned around with a grin on her face. The lake was more like a big pond, but clean and probably deep. Strange objects with the average size of a huge beach ball drifted on the surface.

“You see, we catapulted several treats into the lake. Now you can bob for them, just like the others can for apples!”

Twilight let out a deep sigh of relief. This seemed rather safe!

“What a cute idea,” the dragoness admitted. “May I ask what treats?”

“No. Pinkie secret! I can’t ruin the surprise.”

Adalana gave Pinkie a smile, much to Twilight’s relief and let herself down on all four again. Careful not to slip, the huge reptile bent over and bobbed. She retreated with a full mouth and started to chew.

“A bundle of apples with… cinnamon filling? That’s hearth warming’s eve all over again!” she announced happily. “What a nice play!”

“Bob again! Bob again!” Pinkie demanded.

And so she did.

“That one is… cherries and bananas?”

“Right again!”

Twilight relaxed again. Pinkie had outdone herself. This truly was a cute idea to involve the dragon in their activities and win her over. And there was no way to see it in any manipulative way. Pinkie was much too enthusiastic about it, waiting happily for every guess and commenting eagerly.

Sure, there was nothing that could possibly go… Klonk.

Twilight looked up as she heard the sound of metal.

NO!

BOOOOOOOOOM!

Where? Where? Where had Pinkie found a drifting mine?

Pinkie was laughing tears at the view of the huge and silver dragoness’s head and shoulders being covered in black soot. As she opened her eyes, the dragon seemed to look even funnier, now two huge white saucers in a big blackened face that was still slightly smoking.

Twilight had to admit that it was kind of funny.

Just like reading a very amusing joke that was written on the front of an incoming train.

Comments

[Lium]

Oh Pinkie Pie.

[CoastalSarv]

Pinkie Pie, you are a wonderful pony, but you have a teensie-weensie problem with boundaries - what is appropriate to do with different people.

[Bladelord]

HAHAHAHA
With a mine.

[MyLittleBurger]

Ah pinkie pie we knew you well.....

[KaijinZero]

....well, bye bye pinkie pie

[ShadowWing09]

Woo! I never thought I'd see this fic update again! Welcome back!

...Somepony write to Celestia and tell her we're about to need a new Element of Laughter

[Davesknd]

287512 Bound-what? She doesn't respect the basic laws of physics, now you want her to conform to social mandate?

287648 OR DID WE?

288711 There were issues lately: Christmas, Author got sick in January, spent some time with his family in the holidays and the beta reader took almost the entire February, since she had a lot to do as well. But the worst should be over.
And don't worry, we have someone on stand-by

[CharginChuck]

Glad to finally see an update. This is one of my favorite ongoing fics, and I had been wondering what happened to it.

[Davesknd]

289220 Don't worry, I refuse to die until this story is done!
And if I have to go all Fluttershy on Death himself

[Meta Knight]

♫♥I look forward to reading what happens next in your story♥♪

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm not sure if that depth charge is going to set off the dragon or make her laugh even more. Whichever happens, this day is going to take a few decades off of Twilight's life.

[Davesknd]

335543 I think we have reached the century mark at this point

[Dracon_Pyrothayan]

336919 sssooooo update?

[Ignaltus]

And... Then ended, it was so triggered the great holocaust on small and peaceful Ponyville. Even today the old and wise to remember the story the little fillies that every joke has a time and place, and that during the visit of a dragon bigger than your house is definitely not the time.

[NobleValor]

Well, apparently they do. Either that or she is ignoring it. I can't see Pinkie being Mayor (she wouldn't have time to plan parties!) Also, mines! Where'd she even find mines?