Draconic Troubles

by Davesknd

A very late beginning

She had been reading the book for four hours now and Twilight had to admit one thing: She was confused.
Dragons were completely different from ponies. She had figured that much out by living with one. But what was written in this book completely baffled her.

First: They were basically indestructible. As absolute omnivores, a dragon could live off dirt and morning dew. They just needed something that contained magical energy. And in a land like Equestria, such matter was not a rare thing. Gemstones usually contained more magical energy (which was why they were used for wands, magical swords or the Elements of Harmony), so it was no wonder that they preferred them.
Even their eggs did little else than drain the surrounding area of magic. Twilight finally understood why a dragon egg was used in the entry exam. She was never meant to hatch it, just to throw as much magic as possible at it and see if it reacted (usually by shifting position slightly). The picture was just a way to motivate or de-motivate, depending on the pony.
And seeing how thick their scales were, how strong their muscles and teeth… Abandoning their newborns didn’t seem as cruel when the newborns were dangerous from the first moment.

Second: Dragons had probably the weirdest magic imaginable. The magic Twilight was familiar with, unicorn magic, was a magic of manipulation and subtle changes (it was easy to levitate objects or make it brighter; creating things or changing their nature was very hard). Dragons with mastery of their abilities could basically reshape themselves in any way they wanted. This magic was restrained to their bodies, but limitless in this territory.
She could remember the green one, growing spikes on his tail that were longer than the tail was thick or hardening his entire finger into a solid claw. That also explained how Spike could extend his tongue as much as he sometimes did (usually when it involved cake frosting or gems).

Third: The language barrier was back. Half of the book was sadly illegible. While the first chapters about basic anatomy and dragon magic instantly formed inside Twilight’s head once she looked at the letters, the description of their lifecycle was only halfway legible and the rest simply remained a mish-mash of weird, burning letters.
All she could find out was that Spike would grow his wings in about 150 years. Apparently, it was a very painful process and comparable to finding your cutie mark. (The fact that nothing could make a dragon’s wings appear before their time, not the painful part… at least for most ponies.) It marked the end of their Baby or “wyrmling” time and began their puberty.
Sadly for Twilight, she could read the following part. Apparently, dragons were sexually active long before their puberty began, which gave Spike’s romantic quests a rather uncomfortable aftertaste. Puberty only marked the beginning of their fertility. The worst part was the fact that a male dragon had written this book... which made this chapter an itemization of his romantic quests and victories. And she could not skip those parts without losing too much information. A part of her wished that Rarity would fall in love with a line of chastity belts or Hazmat suits.
The only solid information she could find was that Adalana was around 750 years old. And that the writer was really full of himself...

Twilight closed the book and sighed. All she could do now was tell Rarity to throw praise and hope it would stick.

“Well, it works for spaghetti!” the unicorn muttered and got up.

There were exactly 24 hours left and she had a celebration to organize!

-23 hours later-

Twilight triple-checked to make sure everything was going according to plan. Sure, everypony was on time and working.

Applejack and her family provided most of the resources from their farm.

Rainbow helped with weather (10 seconds flat), catering, and everything that needed transport and speed.

Pinkie was doing her usual great job with her party-cannon, her celebration-repeater and the fête-heavy-support-rifle.

Rarity overlooked the finishing touches and was currently writing her speech. Luckily Twilight didn’t need to reveal Spike’s habit of bubble baths the length of Germanian operas to get her to understand draconic vanity.

As the enormous roll of paper levitated towards her dresser, Twilight wondered if she should start using pencils... erasing things might save some paper. But then again, “Quills and Sofas” was expanding the shop. At least it was good for the economy! (Not so much for the ecology... 12 acres of forest, just for one month of Twilight’s checklists!)

The unicorn swallowed once and left the library.

“Let the train wreck begin!” she muttered.

-

At the same time, on the outskirts of Ponyville, a blue mare with a light cyan mane strutted over the dirt roads. They had destroyed her home, humiliated her and driven her off! Now she would return and wreak havoc on them all! Now she would destroy that sexy... erm... pathetic unicorn and her silly friends!
The great and powerful Trixie would have her revenge!
Suddenly the sun disappeared. Trixie looked up. An enormous beast had blocked it for a few moments. As the sunshine returned, Trixie’s gaze followed the monstrosity. It headed towards Ponyville. She could see it land there!
“The great and powerful Trixie is not impressed by this... thing!” the mare proclaimed to the surrounding landscape. “But they have also wronged me in... Appleloosa! Or Trottingham! I’ll go take vengeance on them first!”
She turned and left the pitiable village to the dragon’s whims.

-

Twilight stood next to the mayor and Rarity in front of the city hall. The others had painted a huge bull’s eye on the ground, so the dragon knew where to land.
Nightmare Night seemed harmless compared to this spectacle. Streamers, balloons, food stands and even a ferries wheel had been erected to make this a spectacle to behold.
Hot sweat was on Twilight’s face as Rainbow Dash announced the arrival, and soon enough, she could see her.
The dragoness was... impressive.
Her scales shone in a beamless silver, while the belly line was almost white. Her spikes and brow-scales had a darker grey tone, like carbonized steel.
Generally, she looked like a pillar of mat silver and steel with two enormous wings on her back. And though her palette was light, there was not a stain of dirt on her. The only imperfection was a scar beneath her neck, where the shoulder started.
Twilight didn’t want to imagine where it came from and rather looked for the differences to the other dragons she had encountered:
This dragon was a little smaller and leaner. She was still bigger than sugar cube corner and unlike the other dragons Twilight could not see an ounce of fat on her. Her head was slightly rounder than the red dragon’s was, but her spikes were as sharp as they got, giving her a saw blade like look.
The unicorn could only compare them to cats. While Spike was a bit like Opal, who could be dangerous, even though she didn’t seem like it at first, this one was a mangy street cat. Thin, muscled and dangerous.

-

Beneath the library, Spike could make her out clearly on the Visco-Globe. There she was. The reason he had to hide like a criminal. His love, Rarity, would praise her for simply appearing. And poor Fluttershy was shivering, all because of HER!
The little dragon grinded his teeth and said the only thing he could right now: “WOW, she is HOT!”
Fluttershy looked at him in puzzlement. “Don’t you have a crush on Rarity?”
“Rarity is a paragon of beauty!” Spike answered proudly. “Her beauty shines from a beautiful heart and a soul, purer than any diamond could ever be! But that dragon is just... hot!”

-

Meanwhile the dragoness stood tall on the bull’s eye, slowly folded her wings, and looked at them through gunmetal grey eyes. First at Twilight, Rarity and finally the mayor, who stood at the podium.

“Honoured guest!” The mayor broke the silence. “As the mayor of Ponyville, I am very happy to greet you in our humble village! We have announced the day of your arrival to be a day of celebration and hope that you enjoy your stay in this fair village! Here with me are Twilight Sparkle, the personal student of Princess Celestia, who will tend to your needs and Rarity, our local fashion expert, who will welcome you in the traditional Canterlot style. Now, I will give the stage to her. Have a wonderful stay and please enjoy yourself.”

Rarity levitated her notes in front of herself and took centre stage.

She was just about to start, when the dragoness suddenly intervened.
“So...” she started with a cold voice, folding her front arms. “You think that you can appease me with this obvious attempt to make me feel special? Fly in the best celebrity you find, turn my arrival into a carnival and tell everyone to have a good time, just so I am more inclined to behave? This is a very obvious and manipulative attempt to get on my good side, I have to say!”
With the last syllable and a loud SHING, one of her fingers extended into a long claw.

The word silence does not begin to describe what followed. It was as if the air simply refused to carry sound. There was no wind, no insects, nothing.

Twilight didn’t feel the eyes of the mayor burning into her back. And even if had felt them, she wouldn’t have cared. Twilight felt her body dying of fear. She couldn’t hear her heart beat, her lungs didn’t fill themselves and she was sure that her neural system was shutting down as well.
And it was wonderful! She could experience death in the way every scientist wished they could: completely aware and thinking! She would leave this world with knowledge that was in no book! Happily, she accepted the embrace of the pale horse.

Meanwhile, the dragoness slowly lowered herself into a prone position and extended her arm. Coldly she stabbed and brought the punctured caramel apple to her mouth. It disappeared and left a grin on her face.

“What a nice idea! I like it when towns do their homework! You may continue to stroke my ego!” she said with satisfaction.

Rarity exhaled in relief, Twilight felt life returning and somewhere in a basement, Spike was able to CPR Fluttershy back into this world.

The troubles had begun!

Comments

[CoastalSarv]

"You may continue to stroke my ego" goes down in the annals as one of the best expressions of self-centeredness ever!

[Davesknd]

62067 Dragons... you have to love their attitude. And honesty. They don't care if you think they are self-centered, they master that trait like a craft.

[CharginChuck]

Trixie out of bucking nowhere....

....aaaaand Trixie back to bucking nowhere!

[Anon E Moose]

LOL, Spike CPRed Fluttershy.

Deliciously morbid on Twi's train of thought there... I like it.

[Davesknd]

62294 I basically wanted to give the fact that a building-sized monster was landing in Ponyville a bit of scale by having someone see it from far away. And make sure that nobody thought that this dragon was Trixie as well.

[Davesknd]

62742 Fluttershy just couldn't stand the sight of that innocent caramel apple being impaled and devoured!
Good that Spike had basic medical training during "Applebuck Season".
And Twilight lived a scientist and scholar, so she will die as such.

[Davesknd]

65934 Ok, what did we say about clopfics in my comment section?
Basically nothing, I know, but honestly... I really didn't mean it like that!
I meant the cart full of hay, the anvil and the piano!
And there will be no sugar tapping in this story! That's what we have Butterscotch and... apparently you for!

[Super_Big_Mac]

66748 Thanks, but Imma spur-of-the-moment c-lol-p fic writer. I got something that ain't cloppy submitted, but it's only 2 chapters in so far. Check out what I can do that's normal, eh?

[Super_Big_Mac]

^^TrixiePie^^

[Super_Big_Mac]

129244 Thanks. I love it how people will comment on a comment I've completely forgotten about.
Maybe if I forget about my fics, more people will read them.

[Davesknd]

226840 I'm always happy to have new readers. The next chapter is on the way, it's currently being proofread.