• Member Since 10th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2017

JonRS


Comments ( 262 )

This story is captivating. :pinkiehappy:

Well, this is a new one good job.

This doesn't sound terrible. I'll give it a read later :twilightsmile:

Twist is like harlequin.
She is always clinging to her pudding.

Spike is totally the Joker. Twist is Harlequin.
Given their relationship in this story,
a lot of manipulation ,put downs and verbal abuse.

Interesting concept.

pffft.....I can only see it like this.......

I've never liked shipping Spike with fillies who people like to call "his own age", but as unappealing as the ship itself is, the narrative is pretty compelling. I just might read this entire fic.

The ridiculous number of downvotes are most likely coming from people who hate both characters, and probably haven't read past the premise to boot.

I like it!:pinkiehappy:

Nothing like seeing a bitch getting a beat down to put a smile on my face.:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by DARKPHANTOM13 deleted Sep 5th, 2013

I have been waiting on someone who puts a Spike x Twist shipping.

Hey I like your story so far it's good, but I'm a little confused you said the books were at the post office but here (Snips and Spike walked out of the library to see the colt leaving.) your saying they're leaving the library. Did you mean to put it or was it a mistake. I'm just trying to help I'm writing my own book and I miss a lot of stuff. Just thought I would ask. I'm not trying to be mean.

I don't know how I feel about what's going on. I like Spike in the show and in the fan-fictions, but this is the first I've seen where he begins to turn into someone like this. I guess I'm just the sappy happy endings for everyone kinda guy. Either way good story and look forward to more, if only to see how sad and disappointed I can feel for the choices they made and will make. When I saw the part about pregnancy, my first thought was that Twist will try to get pregnant in another attempt to keep Spike all to herself. That would be interesting, but I hope it doesn't go that far. I have a strange feeling the previous sentence will come back to bite me.

3157798
you know that is a awesome and funny way to put it but you are right. she is like harlequin

3158125 I with you here i never like concept either spike act more like a teenager then a kid in fact he seems older then the CMC.

You should never be afraid to post what you write I know i at least will enjoy it:eeyup:

3158125 ok care to explain how old Spike really is. Cause I still don't see Spike being any older then 8-10.

Spike X Twist?! Why I normally don't like it when Spike is shipped with a filly, a rare pairing such as this is too good to pass up. :moustache::twistnerd:

The problem with reviewing any bad fic more than 4k words long is that I see a single flaw, and want to point it out, then another flaw, and as the story marches on it trips over its own flaws and more flaws pile over each other in a gigantic heap like soldiers in a farcical 1950's military sitcom, slide whistles and all, until I no longer have the patience or energy to analyze them all.

Just a sample of the things that irked me: Idiot Twilight, unhealthy, dark romances without dark tag; Royal Pony Sisters giving too many shits about things they shouldn't give a shit about, clunky dialogue, stunningly lazy prose ("like a dangerous animal at a zoo" what was crocodile too hard to spell?), stupid love triangles, character thoughts and internal reality matching up too well, conflation of ignorance about sex with 'purity', every stupid romantic drama soap trope stuck in there like a deformed parade of leering cliches, utter lack of characterisation for Twist...

Anyhoo, downvote from me. I'm going to go read some RagingSemi to clear my head.

3159749 so rare you need to throw a master ball at it

Nice Scooby doo reference when pepper's glasses fall of, or am I completely missing the point.....

“I get it. It’s better for her to spread it around and hurt other people than dealing with herself. If that‘s the case, I hope she stays depressed forever!” The filly shouted as she left. The teacher called out to her to no avail.

As soon as something serious happens you're going to eat those words, Twist. Have fun doing so.

A somewhat dark, slightly twisted take but still sorta based on the reality of the teenage psyche.

Also, this last chapter kinda makes me think Spike is gonna start growing a bit as his hoarding instincts kick in in a whole different way...

:twistnerd::unsuresweetie::moustache::applecry::scootangel:

3158800 Sorry, that was supposed to be post office.

3159728 I absolutely love your comment and I am absolutely serious when I say that. A comment like yours is extremely rare. So many people use the comment section but it is rare that anyone leaves a detailed explanation of what they liked or hated about a particular story. I'd like to thank you for taking the time to do so.

I won't ask you to read anymore, but I'd like to thank you for critiquing what you could.

3160344

Huh. I'm very glad you feel the same way about receiving story critiques as I do. If you want more detailed feedback on any particular issue I raised, ask away.

3159728 HE'S BEING BRUTALLY HONEST! THUMB HIM DOWN! THUMB HIM DOWN TO OBLIVION!

3159728
Holy shit dude, unleash the fucking thunder! Seriously though, I have to give you props for sticking to your guns despite people downvoting you. It's hard to be a critic when people automatically declare you an asshole for it.

3160670

A frustration as a writer is getting downvotes on a story but with no solid feedback on what people didn't like, only what they loved. Because I know that sometimes I downvote stories without leaving feedback just because the effort of dredging out exactly what I didn't like will take too much time, or revolves around subtle issues, hard to air, that can nontheless ruin a story. And sometimes I don't even bother to downvote, just see a story sucks from the first few paragraphs and run the fuck away.

I have got a lot of mileage out of positive feedback on my stories, but truly negative feedback where a reader loathed something about one of my stories is doubly useful. It hurts you, of course, but that's the point. You can't just skim past and be like 'hell yeah, i'm good at that', you have to stop, and work out if and where and how you've fucked up, and if it needs fixing and how to fix it.

3160709
Yeah, you really have to take the good with the bad. While it is nice to receive compliments on your story, no problems will ever change unless somebody takes the time to point them out. It's how you grow as a writer, you make mistakes and then you learn from them. However if someone is just being disrespectful and insulting, well take those with a grain of salt.

I will admit though, there are several times where I have fled a story that looked quite bad from the offset. So don't feel alone in that regard.

I must agree with Luna things ared definatley coming to a head:pinkiecrazy:
Also Spike is a total dick right now:flutterrage:

3160750>>3160709 Ah, the nature of writing. These things are pretty much universal, no matter what you're writing, when you're writing, or where you're writing it. Praise is good to keep your confidence up, but negative feedback is infinitely more useful.

Also your profile picture is beyond beautiful, Draven Eclipse. Are you on the NA servers?
And you, my good man Chuckfinley, you speak truth. And I find it interesting how you don't distinguish words labeled as "swear words" from regular speech, as well as the way you don't care about whether people judge you for the latter. I like that. I respect that.

3159575 It's a fanfic, I ain't gotta explain shit. :raritywink:

I'm getting a serious School Days vibe from this now. I can only hope this doesn't end with ANY murders.

Comment posted by Christian2400 deleted Sep 5th, 2013

Did anyone else think of this song when reading the title/story?

me likey:trollestia::moustache:pls give us more epic stories like this

3161377 That anime scarred me for life. I hope we don't see Spikes head in a duffel bag on a ship. :pinkiesick:

Very nice, but in many parts of the story there were missing commas. Other than that I have absolutely no qualms at all with this fantastic and unique shipping :3 :moustache::heart::twistnerd:

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